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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu
understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!!

dam ze germans

close ze thread, before ze germanz get here

i love Snatch

If it was up to me.....I would prefer all of you speak French or Dutch.

just like we would prefer you Californians not to speak at all

lol this coming from a norwegian

did you expect it to come from a French or a Dutch

That would mean me not talking.....no one wants that.

can always make exceptions to the rule

Shux Flattering as always.

English is such a mongrel language, bring back the lingua fraca of by gone days, like Latin, now there was a beautiful language, or maybe French...

Im so glad we dont speak french

But its the language of love..... snort.

language of love my ass

Still, its an interesting proposal, and could do interesting things. Although to be honest I would have preferred some other language other then English.

EU is crap, but if they should choose a coomon language English had to be it. A lot of the countries in Europe has English as a second language so the easiest way is to make the language English

english is the main language son

I know, I know. Raging against the machine and all that, but in truth I agree with it, and actually think it is a good step to put it down on paper, as it really is already the case unofficially. Though now I think Australia and New Zealand should create our own Union, and pick our own language.... which would also be English....

I only know english and Italian so this does not mean nothering to me but it is interesting never the less.JM

Nah! All Californians should speak. Except Arnold....he can't speak at all.

Just learn French.....I'm barely taking it myself.

Siggified!!!

I wonder if there could be a compromise, A Germlish language perhaps?

Germlish. English + German = Germlish.

Dutch

Nah, sutch is just badly spellt German.

J'aime le francais donc ferme ton busch, tu est un merde Chris!

(sp. is crap but whateva. . )

Google Translator says that means I thus love French closes your busch, you is a Chris shit!

ohh **** the french..big headed french frog bastards

GERMANY GERMANY, HA even if we pretend the European Language is English it still will be much more similar to German, which makes sense since german RULES.

You're from Norway !!! You don't even live in the EU. How much is your opinion supposed to count ?

merde is a feminine noun

You're just saying that because French players have invaded the Premiership

I'm curious what does it take to be a part of the EU? Is it a regional thing or is it base on culture and language?

This is the hot question of the moment. Turkey is currently willing to become a member. It's not about language, for no EU country has the same language as the others. As a matter of fact it's all about an "idea" of Europe as a whole that is the main argument for those who oppose Turkey's membership: the current community would according to them be gathering countries sharing a similar cultural identity (christianity for once, being developed countries, respect for Human rights etc.). They also claim that Turkey doesn't geographically belong to the European continent (traditionnaly it is considered as an Asian country, with only a small part of it actually being in Europe. But contrary to America, there is no geographical/physical limit that really defines the European continent.
On the other hand pro-Turkey people say that it is all about economic development, sharing the same ideas and interests, etc.

Norway opened negociation to enter the EEC a long time ago, just like Switzerland. But the entry was refused through a referendum.

Now technically to enter the EU, a country has to be "European" (that's a pretty vague definition, that's why there's a debate), to have a functioninng market economy, stable democratic institutions, respect Human rights, individual freedom, etc.

lol

as long as your greedy Eu ass look to Norway because of our oil money Norway has its toll to say piss off EU, we play another day. the bloody EU is scared cause we are giving our best military instalations to the yanks, yeah as we ever could trust the Bonaparte french..nah next all of our secrets is handed to the brits as well....cause at least we can trust them to not backstab us because of their own agenda like the french who really dont know who they support

Maybe some form of little known Flemish could bring every one together. And I still like French.

I think the EU should concentrate to speak Transylvania vampire especially the frenchies.................and Belgians at least Yersie

i think that polish should be new eroupean language




and these changes are wuvly

arab

that will be the day we kiss our ass godbye

my idea or his(?) idea?

oh not your idea clovie queen of the Polaks

nice line. i gotta use it in my campany
purplequeen1

It seems like half of the people in this thread din't take that as a joke...

No I took it as Germany is Great am I wrong?

Hell no!