Sex, lies, and The Lord of the Rings. Ahh, a normal day at KMC. Well, okay, there is rarely if ever any sex, and very few lies, but the last part is true. There sure is a hell of a lot of LotR.
This post will be a little maudlin, but I don't care because today is sad. I mean, it's happy because "OMGROTKEELOLEEEEEKKKWTF!!1!!!1!!1!!" But it's sad because after this, it's really the end of the movies. There won't be any new images of Eowyn or Faramir, no new songs to download off weird sites in other languages. There won't be any more jumpy pirate recordings of trailers that we watch excitedly. There won't be any more rantings about some inappropriate scenes. There won't be any more Tuesday nights in mid-December when we think, "OMG!! LoTr 2MORRO IM Soo0oo000 ECsaYTED!!!1#@!" So I'm going to make a post, even if it's mostly for myself. Yes, my dear, sweet reader. I'm actually going to write something.
Fantasy has always been a part of my life. Back when I was little and I was alone, there would be my little world in which I had herds of horses, falcons, wolves and dragons to manage. There were no humans, and I liked that. I was their creator, and each herd leader was my own personal vassal. This world existed when I was 4-8, but I've never forgotten them. I have simply released my herds from my service so to speak, as they have served their purpose. After that, I had found some valuable friends which released my hold on my worlds as escape routes, and I began to live solely in this world. Life was fine, I read purely for information and enjoyment, having found a great interest in Egyptian mythology and also in the cosmos and in archaelogy. I became quite a bookworm.
Then I discovered The HOBBIT, we read it in class at school. I soon found myself digging through the books in our library to find more books by this certain JRR Tolkien. Then I saw their dusty old copy of The Lord of the Rings. I was 9 years old. It is quite likely that it was one of the sources that helped to shape my beliefs in how the world, and more realistically, myself should be. Who we are is a culmination of our life experiences and what we've learned from them. Naturally, everyone is affected differently by a certain book. When you read, you think of it in context with what you've lived through, and you bring that experience into what you're reading...sometimes an event that takes place in a book hits very close to home, because you've "been there" and know how it feels. It's the emotional connection one feels which gives them a deeper appreciation for something. I find that I definitely relate to Tolkien's books, and I read the books with such moral conviction that I cannot help but be moved by how relevant it is to the way I think about life. The magic draws me in and strings me along for the ride, transporting me to places never seen, allows me to converse with people never known, and forces me to open my heart and mind to new ideas. This innermost longing that I possess, for the magic of the lost realms; this sets me apart from most other people with whom I come in contact daily, my peers and my family. While people might think that this wish made me an oddball and a sort of freak--keep in mind that highschoolers don't consider deep discussions about classic literature and fantasy "normal". I now realize finally that it is precisely this which makes me unique; this is how I make myself feel important and grounded. I might not be a scholar, and I don't have the insight or knowledge of the most intelligent beings on earth, but I realize now that that's OK, because I have an appreciation for the great minds and the great works of literature that came from those minds, and that's what matters. In fact, that is what I tell myself whenever I feel left out, or just plain frustrated because I don't have friends who share my love of the arts. I am an 11th grader, and finding peers who also hold this appreciation is next to impossible. So I turn to fantasy, and yet again the magic grabs my soul and demands my heart; it is my escape and my passion. I can't say my inner strength comes completely from Middle-earth but it certainly helped. Friends and family are the most essential part of my daily puzzle, but there are times when friends and family just aren't there--either physically or emotionally. Middle-earth is not the be-all or end-all of my existence, but it is one part of who I am.
Anyway then, the movies came out.
If my fervour for LotR had cooled any, it was brought to a raging blaze at that. The children who hadn't even been born on the wintry night became immensely interested in Frodo, and there was no end of excitement and proclamations of devotion to the movies. They were wonderful, and increased my already burning devotion for LotR, and made it much easier to read the book, for it was much simpler to go through the lengthy descriptions when the films depicted the landscapes in a marvellous way.
The Lord of the Rings movies have been one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me. It has been a key point in my life; these last 3 years have been full of both triumphs and heartbreaks. I'll never forget the first time I saw the trailer for the trilogy 3 or so years ago. I watched it on an old piece of junk computer on Realplayer. It was so poor quality that I had to blow it up all the way and then sit back away. But I was awed. I had only finished the books a few years before, and then there they were--Gandalf, Frodo, and Aragorn--all there, alive, breathing. That was the day I started checking TOR.n almost religiously. I remember the first "spy" reports, one that sticks out in my mind is how all the people were making fun of a "certain Orlando Bloom" because they had no idea who he was, he was very unknown back then, and they even had a very hard timing finding even a ONE single picture of him to judge if his looks will be right for Legolas. It seems very funny now. With that trailer I found myself re-devouring LotR all over again.
I saw FOTR and was spellbound. I adored the danger that Galadriel exuded. I loved Saruman. I loved Gandalf. Ian Mckellen WAS Gandalf. And when he died, I cried. I knew he was coming back, but he wouldn't be the same. He would still be the kick ass Gandalf the White, but no more Hobbity dances, no more fireworks, no more smoke rings.
Then 2 years after, I found KMC. I must admit that my initial intention was not to find another forum about Middle-earth, for I already had a handful of forums to spend my time on during that time. I went to Google and searched for an X-Men forum, and Google took me to KMC. It was only after ROTK came out that a sudden magnetic force brought me here, the LotR forum. The next thing I knew, I was visiting this forum more often than I ever did with the X-Men forum. I couldn't manage to leave this place, until I NEVER went back there again. The Lord of the Rings forum has been my home ever since.
I can not communicate what this forum has meant for me, it's a place of stability, fun, and love. I've seen Ringers come and go, old ones left and felt that they have somehow "grown out" of it, or something, I've seen newbies go from smiley abusing "omgwtf-ers" to respected, clear, productive members. I witnessed how LotR ignited some people into love, not only once, but a couple of times. I truly know that everything's a part of a big plan. I know why I didn't die just before I was born, I know why Middle-earth was created, I know why the movies were made, I know why Google brought me to KMC, I know why I suddenly felt a strong urge to go and post in this forum, I know why a certain accidental PM was made, and I know why I was bored to death in the afternoon of March 20.
This is all inside-scoop, so unless that you know me and my KMC life pretty well, I don't think you'll get what I'm talking about.
But I'll just say this because it's true (and also so that the other members wouldn't just stare at that last statement and say, "wtf?
"
: I love you, Smodden.
I remember all the ridiculous threads, all the bannings, and some personal conflicts. So, you see, it's all you guys' fault I talk so much now. My real life (real life? what's that?) friends are out for your blood. I'm much more annoying in person now.
I can say that it's truly sad that this is the end of a chapter. A chapter that will stay marked in our hearts forever. But though the euphoric years of the movies and fandom are over, there is so much left of Tolkien's world to explore. I have a feeling that even after the hype of the movies fades and the public interest moves on to the next big thing, there will be a lot of us fans right here, in forums and clubs, learning and teaching and rejoicing in the greatness and beauty of this world that was given to us first by the Professor himself, and then was recreated in grand scale by Peter Jackson.
It does not end here. I certainly hope it does not. There is so much more to Tolkien fanship than Hot Elves or Adorable Hobbits or even the gorgeous scenery and magical world portrayed in the films. The true heart of the magic and wonder is with the true fans, those who will never stop loving this world. And as long as those fans exist, Middle-earth will be the place of wonder that we know and love.
I know all those things, but I still couldn't help it but to be melancholic at the end of these films. I'm just so very thankful. The friendships and love I've found along the way because of the appreciation for the books and movies are the best thing about it all.
I love all of you; Legolas fangirls, E/F and A/A shippers, Eagle lovers, Silmarillion junkies, book fans, movie fans, all of you, from all over the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Solina Dreida Alvinez (shadowy_blue)
more of my research on this marvelous story would lead me to KMC. I can here in search of pictures of the ringwraiths, but I found much more than pictures, I found a group of people that have become my greatest friends. 
There could be "The HOBBIT" and not everything's come to an end. We will still be here, I hope. 
