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Ok, so Frodo and his hobbity companions are nice strong people againt the rings evilness. Agreed? Yes, it is agreed, dont disagree, i made your choice and chose your opinion.

But as strong as they are against the spiritual side of the evil of Sauron, they are absolutely shit at the physical side, IE fighting.

Thats why they have aragorn and co, is it not? well, Aragorn went because of Arwen apparently, but that isnt really addressed too much now is it? No, its not. So we are to believe that aragorn, gimli, legolas, gandalf and boromir were there to save the hobbits from all the crap they (by they i mean pippin) got themselves (by themselves i mean frodo) into.

So, along comes a big battle and some hobbits do some fighting, and in all fairness they can fight when given the chance.

So we currently have

Hobbits- Spiritual resistance-9/10 Fighting skills 5/10

Not bad.

Along comes Aragorn. King because of his bloodline. Isildur was my grandaddys grandaddys grandaddy. ok big deal, he was an ass, he let evil live and took the ring, whooot. Hes to blame for the current situation, why do Gondor want his heir in charge of a quest involving that very ring. Spiritual resistance is low, he has a high point when he denies the ring, but what you gonna do. Then along comes the head-on challenge.
Pippin, has a hold of the palantir for quite a while, tells sauron nothing, unlucky sauron, try again, thats another 25c you owe me, no prize for you this time.
Aragorn tries his luck and catches this big rolling eye palantir (that cant have been pleasant for sauron) and immedietly passes out, what a fool.

so aragorn seems an all round absolute washout. While the hobbits come out being warriors, and all things nice. In-fact in the appendices there is a rhyme about this.

Hobbits are made of sugar and spice and everything nice
while
Aragorn is made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails

Quite poetic and masterful dont you think?

So how did the great great great great grandson or whatever of the man who ****ed the world, how does the man who spent a year or so chasing gollum, who wears green velvet, who goes out with an elf become king, because of a bloodline instead of one of the four who, save the shire, help bring justice to isengard, go into mordor, fight giant spiders, fight a tower of orcs to save their naked friends, mortalised the witchking, saved faramir.

Why, because there is no democracy in Middle Earth! Sure, you can choose your leader, but they all belong to the same party, communist dictatorship. Especially in Rohan, damn Rohan.

Saruaman and Sauron were the real good guys. If you think about it, they were maia, so they were like gods to their people, so they are always at the top. Thats not dictatoring, thats just divine emplacement, captains and leaders of orcs and orc patrols were decided by the orcs, for the orcs.

UP THE BARUD DUR!

UP DEMOCRACY!

DOWN WITH COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP RULE OVER THE FREE PEOPLE OF MIDDLE EARTH!


Valinor? where the elves go and never come back? Ever seen Babe, where the pigs go to 'paradise' yes, thats right, Valinor is nothing but some form of extermination camp for those seen as a challenge to the rule of these.....dictators

OH MY GOD, JACKSON WAS TRYING TO TELL US.

Im watching the EE as i type this, and currently is the scene where osgiliath is taken.

Remember ww2, who were the bad guys, yes yes sorry to our european members, but Germany, you were the bad guys.

Now, remember the the D-day landings? No of course you dont, your too young. But you have heard of them.
Germans thought we would leave at Dover, and arrive near calais,so they had some people there waiting. But we didnt did we, no we didnt. We landed at Normandy, And the germans got totally confused and then we won. (im aware that is a severely dumbed down version of the victory. And im also sorry for the repeated use of 'Germans' and not 'Nazis')

and you have all seen some form of film about this landing, havent you. Dont the landing ships look amazingly familiar, the ones the Orcs use to land at osgiliath and the ones Britains and Americans used to land in france. Subliminal messaging
Obviously the goverment tried to block this message!

The shadow around mordor is obviously a reference to the iron curtain winston churchill told us about.

Of course, its all so clear now, the meaning of life comes to me!

you've got too much time, i think!

but i like this, you're right! sort of....
it's not like aragorn didn't do anything and a hobbit as king might not be what they'd like to do with their lives either.....

So, they got to you too did they?

Name who you work for, is it Aragorn? Eomer? Who?

Name those who are in this black allegiance and embrace the light side, glory to god.

I#m not telling anything....

the guys i'm working with will be completely unknown....

So, they are guys are they?
Not just a woman in mens clothing? Eowyn?

yes, yes, she killed the witchking, it makes sense.

I am most pleased.

I#m not saying anything....
my....*cough* erm, our...the guys plan will succeed! mwahah!



the poor witchking cry

you shall not prevail. As long as there is breath in my body i will not give in, and i will not stop stealing matrix quotes.

Suprised to hear it?

you don#t know what I am capable of
I'LL RULE YOU ALL

and yes, i was surprised to hear

thats where we are different, i was expecting you, miss mischief.

oh no! am i that predictable? what a shame! *faints*

but i'll have my army to fight for me! hah!



mischief!

Aragorn just killed the MoS. Without warning and unprovoced.

This is your hero?

Sauron deary i told ya not to drink to much nog.

or was it the rum cake??

the MoS? sorry, has been a long time

i don't like heroes! they are too perfect

Mouth of Sauron.

Gollum is dying now Poor man.....like creature

* fini takes InnKeeper to rehab*

ok young man, you've had too much for this year.

no, i shant go.

oh yess u will

hmm i see Aurora is back, i'll get her to help me

No, i shant, and you cant make me! *sticks tongue out*

oh.... ok i leaned something again

gollum? i'm scared of him, i don't like him.... fear

He is attractive though.

hmm, i think it's very limited.... but that's your opinion....

you dont like your men in loincloths?

errm, depends on how you define men....

well i would define a man as a male, which i define as anything with the male sex organ, and walks on two legs.

hah! but gollum doesn't walk on two legs!

he can though
and he used to be able to, until he deteriorated. Deteriation does not make anybody not a man, is your alliance anti disabled too? My god, when will the evil end.

theres subliminal messages? awesome...

Yeah, i heard that several of the largest terrorist atrocities were inspired by acts in the lord of the rings films, and in the follo-up auto-biography by peter jackson, entitled 'how i fund terror and am pro-communist'

coooll

second in the charts

First came Mein Campf
second place was Peter Jackson, Terror and anti-black again- a haters tale
Third- Michael Palin on Josef Stalin

Aragorn fought off five Ringwraiths, and he forced the warriors of the paths of the dead to serve him in the battle at pelennor fields...I think that's why he's king. And no i'm not part of the conspiracy, i am the conspiracy!

?

^^ wow...someone has either too much time or too much beer on their hands *coughsauroncough*

Viv la gouvernementa communista!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody could have forced the army of the dead to, if only they had that sword.

Probably. The person holding the sword could only have said that he is Isildur's heir and he would have gone away with it for now. But after, when all the orcs are destroyed and it's time to free the ghosts, power that only Isildur's heir can have, they would notice his fake and kill him... oh but would they kill him

But he could at least say he 'OWNED!' an army before he died.

Dude, ever read the Silmarillion? The orcs both loathe their masters intensely - they're just too afraid to do anything else. They're gods. It's not anything political, just common sense - don't f*** with the big guys

Tell that to Moica Lewinsky

Yeah, but she's not real... not like Melkor

Joking...

I finally spent the time and read it.

Hobbits are made of sugar and spice and everything nice
while
Aragorn is made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails

Umm... makes me want to watch THE POWERPUFF GIRLS ON DVD!


Anyways what are we suppose to do if a communist dictator (or robots) don't control every aspect of our lives!??!?!??! WHAT WRONG WITH THAT?!?!??!?!? canasndasda-cantstopthemfrommakingmetype!-sadjsads