Best Comic Quotes Ever

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.



DarkCrawler
"Bring it on, Blob. I've been kicking your fat ass since I was thirteen."

Iceman to Blob, Uncanny X-Men #403

And my personal favorite:

"I just wanted to say that your behavior towards Peter was nothing short of deporable, you shallow-minded unconscionable piece of rat &#%#!! No wonder no one reads your piece of crap paper, you ecomaniac! Oh, and nice mustache! Hitler called. He says he wants his "look" back!!!"

Aunt May to JJJ, Ultimate Spiderman #48

Paola
laughing out loud

ScarletSpider
Pretty much everything Ratbag said during Simone's Deadpool run.

"I left a bag of pigeons on the subway"

"Don't drink the juice under the sink. Poison! Tasty poison!"

RB: "I'm in love with Katie Couric"
DP: "I absolve thee"

jinzin
venom:"get ready web spinner cause i'm going to eat your brai---"
Spidey:"No! don't say that! I just don't think I can stand to hear that today!"
venom:"Okay! how about I just do it for a change that would be different for both of us"




Juggernaught: "I been swattin you gnats for half an hour already spidey,,,so what say you guys just oack it in annd give me a break"
Spidey: "did france give up in world war 2? did custer walk away from the little big horn? did (hech I can't think of any more witty lines) oh yeah okay-----Did I give up last time I fought you?....NO!"




Wolverine:"graahhharr"
Shatterstar" oh really?........please even I don't growl."
<insert short fight scene here>
Shatterstar:"aaaaarrrrghhh!"
Wolverine:"see, you do growl"



wolverine:"I've heard alot of horrible stuff in my time sicko but yours takes the cake, I say if you like death so much,,,maybe ITS TIME YOU GOT UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH IT,,,AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!"



Superman:"darkseid.............SHUT THE HELL UP!" (POW)
and his speech to darkseid after darkseid disintigrated supergirl.



and even though it's not really a quote, the comic of wolverine, where mr. fixit goes to madripoor and patch keeps besting him in a "battle of witt" I suppose you might call it. that whole arch is pretty funny.

Joker1237
Joker in the First Batgirl comic (Cain)

Joker has first Batgirl tied up and thowing knifes at her, and Batman comes in. (In a Flash back)


Joker says, Batman, about time, this knockoff was no fun at all.

Nataku8188
While jamming his pistol in a fat man's mouth, " ... food is NOT sex! Say it with me!"

"FFFfddddd ifff Noff FEEExxxx"

"Good. It's important to know the difference, or you could have a horrible waffle iron accident. No amount of smooth maple syrup will help you then."
~ Agent X 4

" 'Smart'? Lemme see... two plus two still equals five, doesnt it? "
~Carnage, Amazing spider-man 379

" He dragged 'im back inside... back into the fire. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there on the street. Watching it burn. "

" Did you enjoy it? "

" Not as much as I should have. "
~ Bullseye, Bullseye's greatest hits #1

DarkCrawler
big grin

manjaro
deadpool in recent Cable and deapool run after his whole body was slowly melting from that techno virus, after his "favorite" hand just got melted

DP:"Hey, that's my Cinemax hand!"

Joker1237
She tried to stop me and I dropped the baby, No I mean she rushed me and I dropped the baby, Or maybe I just, Merry Christmas, Bang.(Shoots gun.)

From the Joker.

eleveninches
In lucifer:

Elaine: Thank God!
Lucifer: Thank WHO???

MERCILOUS
"I have often thought that talking to oneself is the best way to be sure of witty and intellegent conversation." -Sebastion O

Alpha Centauri
Nightclub Owner: You got....you got powers right?
Deadpool: Oh yeah, I'm a superfreak.
Nightclub Owner: A super freak?
Deadpool: I'm super freakayyy.

-AC

pr1983
Jean: "I must confess, infuriating and arrogant as Gambit can be... those eyes, that grin, the body -- it takes a girl's breath away."
Scott: "Oh really? When next the opportunity presents itself... remind me to drop a truck on him."
Xavier: "Cyclops."
Scott: "A big truck."
Xavier: "Cyclops."
Scott: "A really big truck."
- From X-men, 1

Scott: "I'm sorry. My mind must have been..elsewhere."
Jean: " The gutter, perhaps?"
- From X-men, 8

MERCILOUS
"Life sucks, wear a hat" -Spider Jerusalem

Nathaniel Grey
" Training : Day Two

Ha Ha ha! Outsmarted Taskmaster today! Ha Ha ha! Was hurting me
very badly as Wolverine. Hour of healing totally insufficient! Taskmaster
unconcerned with multiple grevious wounds inflicted on me so, came up
with a cunning plan-amundo! Bled profusely on Wolverine shirt, so TM doesn't wear again! Ha ha ha! Score one, me! Sorry journal, bleeding on you also.

Note; Bring more bandages tomorrow. "

" Agent X ", Agent X vol 1, issue#1.

Nathaniel Grey
"Deadpool: Welcome wayward Traveler...to CASA DE DEADPOOL!
- Agent Jackson & Deadpool enter a room filled with prostitutes.-
Agent Jackson: My God Wade...It looks like a Russ Meyer movie in here!

Prostitute: Your robe your sexiness. * to Deadpool*
Deadpool: How many times do I have to tell you?! NO WIRE HANGERS! -- Now bring our guests a Fresca and three pounds of M&M's...and if I see ONE red one in there you'e getting deflated!
-Agent Jackson looks at Deadpool stunned while Deadpool smirks and smokes a BUBBLE pipe.-
Deadpool: Heh, heh -- My pimp hand is STRONG."

Deadpool : Agent of Weapon X #58.

Alpha Centauri
"Jean: "I must confess, infuriating and arrogant as Gambit can be... those eyes, that grin, the body -- it takes a girl's breath away."
Scott: "Oh really? When next the opportunity presents itself... remind me to drop a truck on him."
Xavier: "Cyclops."
Scott: "A big truck."
Xavier: "Cyclops."
Scott: "A really big truck."
- From X-men, 1"

Hahahaha that was quite funny.

Then Cyclops realises he can't do such a thing.

-AC

HarmonicFlo88
haha all funny

IRTMU-Dragon
Lobo: "Ahh great, now im gonna have to wait till my body regrows itself! Why wouldnt ya die easy like some normal creep? Ya some kinda perv or something?"
The Mask: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!"
Lobo: "Izzat so? Well how about these Butt-face, drong-wit, geekoid!"
The Mask: "pah, amateur. Doodlings Sir! Water off a ducks back! You chew on these! Colon Breath! Spleen Face! Chintz Head!"
Lobo: "What? Nobody says that ta me ya foul-mouthed fraggin feeb!"
The Mask: "Suppurating sore-features! Fart-brain, Cutesy boy!"

Lobo: "CUTESY BOY? Bastard!"
*shplink* The mask instantly becomes whole.
The Mask: "I, of course, dont have the hassle of waiting for a new body to grow!"
Lobo: "huh?"
The Mask proceeds with making Lobo eat his own words... by manually pulling the speech bubbles out of his jacket and cramming them down his throat, then plays ball with his head.

pr1983
laughing

Joker1237
Joker- So, Once we fill out all your tendioud copywrite forms, I will get a cut of evey Fish Sale in America,

A Nickel per fish Sandwitch, Fifty cents for filet of sole! Millons of dollars a day to finance my franky hedonistic life style!

Mr Frances- Joker its impossible.

Joker- What, Imossible, You say no--

Mr Frances- Nobody can copywrite fish or fish faces! They are a natural resource!

Joker- I warn you Francis, Dont cause me to become anger!

Francis- I cant help it! Its the Law.

Joker- But the fish share my unique face! If Colonel Whats his Name can have chickens, When They dont even have Mustaches!!!!???

And you deny me this to me?? You see why I am force to crime?

You have until midnight to change your mind Francis! If you dont, you will be the poorest fish of all, and Dead as a Mackerel!

BurningRob
Best Comic quote ever- The Watchmen, by Alan Moore-

"Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago." - Adrian Veidt (Ozymandias)

eleveninches
One of Lucifer's enemies (I forget her name): "You know nothing of power, Lucifer!"

Lucifer: "And I care nothing for it"

Next Venom_girl
Check these out:
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f47/t304624.html
http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f47/t303456.html

MERCILOUS
"My name is Johnny, but you can call me 'ny' for short. And who might you be?"

Swanky-Tuna
Ted Knight and Alan Scott catch up on old times at Ted's observatory. Alan feels guilty that his powers prevent him from aging and Ted is an old man.

Ted Knight - Hell, did you see that story in Newsweek about that hero from the 1940's, Hercules? He has Alzheimer's. At least I've got my wits.
Alan Scott - Hercules? Was he a member of the All Star Squadron? I don't recall.
Ted Knight - Well, you know something...
Together - NEITHER DOES HE! *laughs*

grey fox
........Instead i'm gonna have to call your next of kin, becuase no one - and i mean no one says the unstoppable juggenraut drinks light beer and lives-Juggernaut

"Hey,son of a gun--I'm still alive! YOWZA! Now did anyone get the number of that wrecking ball? Did he say 'Jughead-Naut'? Is that someone who searches for Archies? I mean,'cause if it's who I THINK it is,I quit,game's over,Mom's callin' me,I'm late for dinner."

-Deadpool learns who crumbled the building he was standing on with one punch,Deapool:Circle Chase #2

And the best quote in the entire comic industry has to be.....

You and Wilson have my skills, Mr Hayden. In return, I received a taste for Radiohead and an encyclopediac knowledge of pornographic knock-knock jokes. Yes, I'd like to switch back if possible- agent x

HigH ScholaR
SAID BY HULK

"your hammer makes me horny' in ultimates
"hulks mum does not wear army boots" in ultimates
"Touch" defenders vol 2

BobbyD
Thanos: You finished?
Silver Surfer: Uhhh, yeah (gulp).

Mainstream
Superman: Alfred called, he was concerned. Atomic Skull? Batman even you have limits.

Batman: you and Alfred can both go to hell. I HAD HIM!!!



old Superman: Bruce! I just wanted to talk!

old Batman: I'm done talking get out of my cave b*tch!


(okay I added the b*tch)

Next Venom_girl
Spider-man's thoughts as he's fighting Venom in the subway tunnels:
"Dear Green Goblin, miss you terribly. Weather is nice, I've met a special new friend. Having fun on the railroad tracks. Wish you were here.... instead of me."

---

Evil Priests summon up a godzilla-sized demon:
EP: At last we have a true god, of virgin birth and true power.
Sara Pezzini: I don't know about virgin birth... 'Cause it looks like someone is getting f*ked around here.

Next Venom_girl
A young mutant is at the mall and accidently fritzed an arcade game by involuntary activation of her powers.

Arcade owner: Do you have any idea how much those things cost?!
Jubilee: Yeah- a quarter.

DarkCrawler
Bruce Banner: "Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you--did you ever actually find Nemo...or are you still looking?"

Namor: "....If I knew what that meant, I would kill you where you stand!"

----

Dr. Strange: "Whoops."

Namor: "Excuse me?"

Dr. Strange: "What I mean to say is...ah...SHADES OF THE SERAPHIM! The barrier built to contain the brutal mindless ones has shifted since I last visited this realm!"

Namor: "Meaning?"

Dr. Strange: "I seem to have made a slight...error in our coordinates."

Namor: "Meaning...?"

Dr. Strange: "The Hulk has materialized on other side of the barrier! Those hate filled creatures could destroy even him!"

Namor: "Oh. How delightful.

Can we leave him there?"

Dr. Strange: "NO!"

Namor: "Well, at least keep him there until you have explained where we are--and why did you pull us out from our reality without any warning!"

Dr. Strange: "It seemed the best way to alleviate the situation -- and get us here without any further arguments."

Namor: " "Here" being...?"

Dr. Strange: "The domain of dread Dormammu, of course!"

Namor: "Of course, how foolish for me not have realized it.

Well then--go ahead and mutter some absurd incantation and transport him out of there."

leonidas
the quote that forever defined cap for me:

KORVAC : she was the last! it is nearly finished. the few who yet live are unconscious. i have but to terminate them mercifully. their pain i can end - mine will endure forever.

CAP THINKING : he stopped crackling. he looks human again. and luckily he seems to be in another world-- he doesn't see me yet.

CAP THROWS SHIELD - KANG - AND STRIKES KORVAC IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD

CAP: got him! you dropped your guard too soon, mike! there's one of us left - one man. or maybe you don't even count me - because i'm JUST a man? hear that mike? this is no GOD hitting you . . . no SUPER-MAN. just a man! and you're an overblown, self-righteous, self-proclaimed deity who casually commits mass murder. no more mike! this MAN won't let you.

KORVAC : you have dared . . . much . . . and WON much -- for you alone have hurt me! still, such as you cannot prevail against my might.

CAP : it doesn't matter how strong you are! i'll find a way to stop you! i'll find a way!

KORVAC: given time, i almost believe you would! but time ends for you . . . now!

avengers #177 - avengers vs michael korvac

leonidas
same issue - wonderman's greatest moment



WONDERMAN : you killed him! and if i give you a second to clear your head you'll polish off the rest of us!

KORVAC: wonderman!

WONDERMAN: right! hey, i heard what you said about how wise it is not to fear death. well, you know, i went through it once, and it's no fun. the thought of dying again is almost more than i can bear sometimes! it haunts me! i've wondered since the first day i awakened from my first death -- why? why am i here? to be hanuted by unspeakable terror? to be a coward? but i see now -- if you're brought back from death, there must be a reason -- something you were meant to do. you dig, michael? this is it! this is my moment! the whole damn universe is depending on me -- and i'm NOT gonna blow it! get up michael! i want to slug you again. i see that you're getting your energy back . . . but i don't mind. after all, i'm the strongest man alive -- my fists hit like thor's hammer AND i'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE!

KORVAC : must be swift -- brutal! you give me no choice!

WONDERMAN : eeeyarrgh!

from the SAME issue:



IRONMAN: my repulsors -- useless! the vision's thermo-optic beams -- no effect!

VISION: it appears that nothing can harm him!

THOR: nay, i say thee! no one can withstand my uru hammer

HERCULES: louder, braggart! he did not hear thee! he stands! but hercules shall -- URRGH!

ahhhhhhh, such a good arc . . . small wonder i've always loved the avngers . . .

love

Creshosk
Omega Red: "I am also capable of releasing my lethal phermones into the air."

Jubilee: "Most people can Red! Jus' too polite... t'talk about it."

Creshosk
Wolverine: "Deadpool ain't it? Sorta rhymes with Dead Fool?"
Deadpool: "Yeah-- like Wolverine rhymes with... Louver Screen? ... Hoover Spleen? Hey what the heck does it rhyme with?"

Scott: "Open your mouth again and my glasses come off."
Bobby Drake: "Okay, that is officially the lamest threat I have ever-"

Cyclops: "This is good. The guy who's tried to steal my wife since the day he met us is gonna tell me about what's proper."

Cyclops: "I believe you people have something that belongs to us?"
Gambit: "Short li'l fella."
Jubilee: "All adamantium and attitude. He's one of a kind. We'd like him back."
Beast: "Not to mention our resident psionic Japanese-by-way-of-Britain ninja. You can imagine how hard *they* are to replace."

Cyclops: "Well that was mature, So here I am, Cyclops -- so-called leader of the X-Men -- and how do I use my optic blasts? As a snooze button."

Warren Worthington: "You have no idea what it's like to have your entire life pulled out from under you!"
Jean Grey: "Warren, please. You're talking to the woman who's been killed, cloned and kidnapped more times than I can remember. Let's keep it in perspective."

Nurse Annie: "Everyone knows that I don't like mutants. Everyone knows I have a thing for Alex. Everyone knows you used to date Lorna. Everyone thinks Northstar and I are dating, even though he's openly homosexual..."
Bobby: "Northstar's gay!?"

Beast: "Sometimes, Bobby, I wonder if puberty will ever end for you."
Warren: "Or start."

"That's the classic X-Men spirit, fellas. Never use a door when you can make one of your own." -- Shadowcat

"Love makes you want to stab people? That isn't love. That's brain damage. Though I do understand your confusion between the two, some days..." -- Kurt

Kitty Pryde: "I've been an X-Man since I was fourteen, Pete. It's like wearing a big sign saying 'Please try and kill me, I like it.'"

Gambit: "Fin'ly. I knew if I wore dis trench coat long enough... it'd event'ly come in handy."

Storm: "Your pardon, sir. We are here to see a man about a rescue."
Xavier: "Pity. I was hoping for a pizza delivery."
Colossus: "Is Professor Xavier unwell, Storm? He is making a joke."
Jean Grey: "Contrary to popular belief, the man's only human. Complete with a sense of humor."
Archangel: "Such as it is."
Xavier: "Et tu, Archangel? Don't I get respect anymore from anyone?"

Marvelgeek

Scoobless
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Marvelgeek
Cloak: "They cannot begin to understand the bond that Tandy and I share, one we've shared ever since the pharmaceuticals forced upon us awakened our abilities."

Viktor/Victourious: "Wait. Back up. Your secret origin is drugs?
Doesn't that kinda set a bad example for little kids?"

Cloak: "I AM NOT YOUR ROLE MODEL!"

Scoobless
Originally posted by Marvelgeek
Cloak: "They cannot begin to understand the bond that Tandy and I share, one we've shared ever since the pharmaceuticals forced upon us awakened our abilities."

Viktor/Victourious: "Wait. Back up. Your secret origin is drugs?
Doesn't that kinda set a bad example for little kids?"

same thing could be said of Captain America

yes

ScarletSpider
"you can tell when Erik Larsen is saying something stupid--his lips move."--John Bryne

Pointinel
Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Nightclub Owner: You got....you got powers right?
Deadpool: Oh yeah, I'm a superfreak.
Nightclub Owner: A super freak?
Deadpool: I'm super freakayyy.

-AC

LOL!!!!

thesilverspider
from JLA CLASSIFIED #15
the members of the league are throwing there projectiles at Z who's some ugly ass thing(such as heat vision,lasso,battarangs,and such)

Z-(to the heros)you are...weak...and your man in black...and his darts...are STUPID..

batman-you wish.good-bye from earth.

then Z gets blown up by a bats explosive..........

DarkCrawler
Aquaman: "Lay down your arms! I'm serious and I have the firepower to prove it! Sworn protectorate of over fifteen thousand submarine states. My territory surrounds every continent on the planet. I rule most of this planet's surface and almost all of its depths. So don't even think about picking a fight with the King of Atlantis."

Mississippienne
New Avengers: Captain America is bragging about his high-level SHIELD clearance and Spider-man says, "Yeah? I got clones."

Avengers/Thunderbolts #5: Captain America and Baron Zemo are bickering, and Hawkeye tells them, "Why don't you two just go get a room already?"

Uncanny X-Men #414: Bobby says,"Jean-Paul! Northstar! Is it a pleasure to see you?" To which Jean-Paul replies, "That's supposed to be a statement, not a question, otter-pop."
Bobby says, "Not with you, Northstar. What are you doing here? Alpha Flight kick you out for good?"

Lord Magnus
Kong: Ya think--I don't know--ya think maybe we should do something about it?

Ultimate Peter Parker: Do what?

Kong: You know, do something about all these mutants or whatever. Keep an eye out, I mean--

Peter: Do something? Keep an eye out? Y'know, that's what the Germans said abotu the Jews.

Kong: Well, yo, the Jews never had big red lazer beams shooting out of their eyes! I think.

Or just pick up an Astonishing X-Men script:

(the X-Men are being questioned by the media after a fight with Ord)

Wolverine: Being feared and hated by a world that fears and understands us beats this circus anyday.

Beast: Oh, you're always so grumpy when you get cut in half.

(Ord and his soldiers are standing around waiting for the X-Men, when one of the soldiers flips out and starts shooting at a window)

Soldier: Thought you could get past, huh? Thought I wouldn't see ya?

Ord: Soldier--who are you shooting at?

(soldier looks at Ord, at the window, and back at Ord)

Soldier: My swim coach...

Ord: Miss Frost is here. Turn up your scramblers.

Soldier: Swear if I ever saw him... he came flying back through the window... just like I always dreamed...

(Emma Frost captures a couple of thugs and knocks them out. She touches her fingers to their foreheads...)

Emma: You will walk over to the nearest hospital and fall asleep. When you wake up you won't remember any of this. And any time you hear the words, "parsley", "inevitable", or "longitude", you will vomit uncontrollably for forty-eight hours.

Marvelgeek
Just finished Runaways vol 1 and I have to share some of the funny. I love it. big grin
Oh and I suppose there's micro spoilers for that series if u haven't read it (real tiny tiny ones but still). The last ones.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chase: "Wait, the dinosaur is real, but her parents are C.G.I.?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gert: "How did two people so ingenious end up with a son who's so... athletic ?"
Chase: "Hey, I may not be book smart, but I am street smart .
Gert: "Which street? Sesame...?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Molly: "I'm a mutant but not like a bad one like Magneto a good one like Doop and the X-Statix and when I grow up I'm gonna join the X-men and get married to Wolverine so you better not act predjudiced around me. 'Kay?" (Oh she's adorable stick out tongue )
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Molly (to Cloak): "I'm sorry! I thought you were a another monster . I didn't know you were a stutterer.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dagger: "But the little girl you guys kidnapped...?
Gert: "How blonde are you? That's Molly Hayes!"
Molly: "Aww! You ruined my secret identity!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dagger: "Hang in there, Molly! This is all gonna be over soon!"
Molly: "Thanks! It was awesome to meet you, Cloak and Dazzler!"
Dagger: "My name is... I hate this city"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gert: "Chase, are... are you okay?"
Chase: " Uh-oh... think I got brain damage..."
Gert: "Seriously?"
Chase: "Yeah... 'cause suddenly... you're the hottest chick... I've ever seen...

Gert: "I was reventilating him. Anyone who says otherwise gets fed to my %$@#ing dinosaur."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Topher: "You see, I'm not really sixteen years old. I was born at the turn of the century."
Nico: "You're four?"
Topher: "Huh? Oh, no. Last century. In 1900."
Nico: "Eww! And I kissed you?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reporter: "Then can you comment on their acts of heroism? By all accounts, these teenagers single-handedly toppled an empire of--"
Captain America: " I'm not going to condone acts of vigilantism by minors . If children have reason to believe their guardians are involved with illegal activities, they should not take the law into their own hands."
Reporter: But Captain, wasn't your first sidekick an underage hero?"
Captain America: "..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

laughing

Oh and a little bonus from She-Hulk #3 I believe it is (it's recent).

Hawkeye: "Hey Green cheeks!"
Scarlet Witch: "Jennifer, We wish you--"
She-Hulk: "Guys, please! It can't wait! I have to tell you something before they stop me!
A few years from now... Clint, you sleep with Jan. Jan, that makes you drink a lotta margaritas. Wanda, Drunk-Jan says something that drives you crazy... and then start killing everybody!
So whatever you do, Don't sleep with Jan. Don't drink the margaritas. Wanda, get some serious help!
Got that? No sex! No booze! See a shrink!" stick out tongue

jeffrodini
"There's nothing wrong with you Joker. Nothing that I can't fix with my own two hands" -- Batman, Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller

willRules
Beast : "I'm sure you have got some very complex scenarios running through your head. Mines simple. I'm a cat, and you're a bird, and the day I can't out-think a computer, I may as well give up."

Astonishing x-men 12 (When Beast defeats the danger-room robot)

Next Venom_girl
Huntress: (As she sets the badguy on fire) Girl's too hot for him.
---
Kenneth Irons says something along the lines of "The power! I am a god!"
Sara Pezzini's relpy: It's easy to be almighty from a distance. Let's go.
---

Marcus4600
http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4131/lethalprotector056mu.th.jpg
Boo!
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/2484/lethalprotector213xi.th.jpg
Could you tell me where your alien costume department is?

Next Venom_girl
Black Canary:
http://img378.imageshack.us/img378/7421/blackcanary104mv.th.jpgNo innuendo there, no sir.
Namor:
http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/27/namorsaysstfutomagneto3pt.th.jpg http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/123/findingnemo1yx.th.jpg Finding Nemo.
Kenneth Irons:
http://img123.imageshack.us/img123/1998/ironstorturesian8wm.th.gif
"Can you imagine, all those undeserving people being tortured. It's horrible."

DarkCrawler
I don't know if I should hate Bendis for New Avengers (Alpha Flight's meaningless death in particular) or love him because of his incredible Daredevil. Anyway, this is the best Jonah Jameson quote ever:
http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/1496/jjj6ig.th.gif

Next Venom_girl
Alucard: You're nothing but dogfood.

Next Venom_girl
Spider-man and Shadowcat take out the deadly Ringer...
Ringer: Coff! My diamonds, my diamonds.
Spider-man: Actually, they're not your diamonds, hence the beating you just got.
Shadowcat: Hey check out his butt.
Spider-man: Uh, no.
Shadowcat: Dude has his wallet on him. What kind of supervillain brings his wallet to a robbery? Hey everybody! It's Anthony Davis from Medina County, Ohio!!!
Police: Everybody freeze!!
Spider-man: Uh, honey, we have to go!!
Shadowcat: But I was just getting to the fun part! Anthony Davis from Medina County, Ohio is the hula hoop guy!!
Police: Freeze, police!
Spider-man: No, this is the part where the cops shoot at me.
Shadowcat: Actually they may make us clean all this up.
Spider-man: There's that too.

---
Lady Shiva and Huntress vs Killer Croc and the Ventriloquist...
Croc: Guess I'm eatin' Asian tonight.
Shiva: Or perhaps tomorrow, I'll have made myself a pair of hide boots. Something tasteful, perhaps with nipples on the toes. That first blow as merely to assess how long it takes for your brain to process pain. Very long, I must say.
Croc: What?
Shiva: When you ran at me, I struck you thrice, each blow resulting in an injury to your person. Greenstick fracture on the leg, comminuted on the other, and your remaining arm. Your rage is admirable. But you need training... when you get out of the hospital.
Croc: If this ever gets to my brain, bet I'm gonna hate it.
Ventriloquist: Reach for the sky, gitch!
Shiva: I beg your pardon?
Huntress: Uh... this is the Ventriloquist, Shiva. We sort of go along with his delusions because he has a genuine mental disorder, and challenging his illusion that his dummy is real would be...
*Shiva rips his dummy away and throws it off the building*
Huntress: ...possibly permanently, uh.. damaging.
Ventiloquist: NOOOOO!
Huntress: Nevermind.
Shiva: If I see you carrying this "doll" again-- I will remove your arms to hold him, and your eyes to see him. And if you sit him upon your lap--
Ventriloquist: Oh, dear!

Next Venom_girl
hysterical
http://img465.imageshack.us/my.php?image=deadpool067192sw.jpg
http://img465.imageshack.us/my.php?image=deadpool067202vb.jpg
http://img465.imageshack.us/my.php?image=deadpool067219ck.jpg

Etrigan
Rhino gets beaten AGAIN... that one is funny.

Anyways... it's something along these lines, a quote I found funny by Silver Surfer.

"I've soared through the heart of an exploding star. I've visited alien worlds your mind wouldn't be able to comprehend. I've walked across the surface of the Sun itself, in the blazing power and heat of it's core.

...But no. I can't limbo."

Hack Benjamin
Truth is a whore. She'll belong to any man for an hour if the price is right. When the time's done, you're back where you started -- alone.

Does X-Files comics count?

Gregory
Originally posted by Next Venom_girl
Lady Shiva and Huntress vs Killer Croc and the Ventriloquist...
Croc: Guess I'm eatin' Asian tonight.
Shiva: Or perhaps tomorrow, I'll have made myself a pair of hide boots. Something tasteful, perhaps with nipples on the toes. That first blow as merely to assess how long it takes for your brain to process pain. Very long, I must say.
Croc: What?
Shiva: When you ran at me, I struck you thrice, each blow resulting in an injury to your person. Greenstick fracture on the leg, comminuted on the other, and your remaining arm. Your rage is admirable. But you need training... when you get out of the hospital.
Croc: If this ever gets to my brain, bet I'm gonna hate it.
Ventriloquist: Reach for the sky, gitch!
Shiva: I beg your pardon?
Huntress: Uh... this is the Ventriloquist, Shiva. We sort of go along with his delusions because he has a genuine mental disorder, and challenging his illusion that his dummy is real would be...
*Shiva rips his dummy away and throws it off the building*
Huntress: ...possibly permanently, uh.. damaging.
Ventiloquist: NOOOOO!
Huntress: Nevermind.
Shiva: If I see you carrying this "doll" again-- I will remove your arms to hold him, and your eyes to see him. And if you sit him upon your lap--
Ventriloquist: Oh, dear!

What comics that from?

Next Venom_girl
Birds of Prey #92.

HueyFreeman
Annihilation

Galactus "Now go forward Silver Surfer, and herald my rage"

manjaro
Runaways 28: the runaways travel back in time to the 1800s. Molly and Karolina(lucy in the sky) talks to a battered, mutant girlwhose maybe only two years older than Molly at a restaurant, while she talks about life with her husband

BMG: Mr Prast is a devout man, but he.....drinks, he does not find work.

Karolina: While you slave away at a factory? Lame-O!(with almost a singing tone)

BMG: It's not so bad...its just....when i come home so tired, and then he......... i do not enjoy it.....my......my marital duties(shamefully turns her head and looks away)

Molly: Oh.....My...God....................HE MAKES YOU DO CHORES?!?!

laughing laughing laughing I was LMAO'ing on that one for like 10 mins

llagrok
Yeah, Molly really is innocent

B.A
Originally posted by ScarletSpider
"you can tell when Erik Larsen is saying something stupid--his lips move."--John Bryne John = fail. yes

SelphieT
"Hey! I don't go anywhere without my tank. If I did, I'd be No-Tank Girl."

Tank Girl, Apocalypse

tjcoady
Runaways= consistently funny.

Molly Hayes punches out the Punisher. The frame goes white, and it comes back with black captions:

"Punisher War Journal Entry: Hhhhn"
Karolina: "We're not yelling at you, Molly."
Molly: "But how could I know he didn't have power!"
Victor: "From his lame name! If he had powers, he'd be named after them, like Electro or Iron Fist. What did you think, he had some sort of PUNISHY force?"
Xavin: "Some of us are yelling at you, Molly."

That issue also has my another of my favorite Molly quotes: "Why aren't you AWESOMED by me?" Which is kind of one of my life mottos, now.

manjaro
Fatastic Four Adventures. The Silver Surfer is making a bid to revamp his image, he's tired of ppl (mostly johhny storm) telling him to ease up with the soliloqy(shakespeare english). Just his luck a media saavy TV host(fashoned after oprah) decides to help him out, oh and she's totally evil. Next panel we see SS decked out in baggy jeans, fitted hat, and wife beater, and a blinging neck piece with SS on it.

SS: "Tis a simple matter for one who weilds the power cosmic to rearrange waste matter into precious metals.....are you "feeling" me?

Talkshow lady: What do we call what you weild now? (in a scolding tone)

SS: The...........Pizzower Coshizzmic?

TSL: Very good

tjcoady
Originally posted by manjaro
Fatastic Four Adventures. The Silver Surfer is making a bid to revamp his image, he's tired of ppl (mostly johhny storm) telling him to ease up with the soliloqy(shakespeare english). Just his luck a media saavy TV host(fashoned after oprah) decides to help him out, oh and she's totally evil. Next panel we see SS decked out in baggy jeans, fitted hat, and wife beater, and a blinging neck piece with SS on it.

SS: "Tis a simple matter for one who weilds the power cosmic to rearrange waste matter into precious metals.....are you "feeling" me?

Talkshow lady: What do we call what you weild now? (in a scolding tone)

SS: The...........Pizzower Coshizzmic?

TSL: Very good

awesome. I hadn't heard that FF Adventures was so sweet.

Mr. Slippyfist
Originally posted by manjaro
Fatastic Four Adventures. The Silver Surfer is making a bid to revamp his image, he's tired of ppl (mostly johhny storm) telling him to ease up with the soliloqy(shakespeare english). Just his luck a media saavy TV host(fashoned after oprah) decides to help him out, oh and she's totally evil. Next panel we see SS decked out in baggy jeans, fitted hat, and wife beater, and a blinging neck piece with SS on it.

SS: "Tis a simple matter for one who weilds the power cosmic to rearrange waste matter into precious metals.....are you "feeling" me?

Talkshow lady: What do we call what you weild now? (in a scolding tone)

SS: The...........Pizzower Coshizzmic?

TSL: Very good http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o106/bigbran1/SilverSurfer.jpg

Neo Darkhalen
Any Venom quotes.

Black Adam
Don't mess with me lady! I've been drinking with skeletons!

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.