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Waiting For You

No matter how far you are or where you are
No matter how much space between us
But I will wait for you with hope in my heart
My love still lonely and search for your soul
Yes, it is miserable when you are not close to me
I am sure my world is better when I am in your arms
My love for you is pure, devine and grows sure in me
Your love has no condition on me and sets me free
Waiting for you, so i can feel your gentle touch
Waiting for you, so i can get your huge hug
Waiting for you, so i can get your deep kiss
Yes, I find all my happiness in loving you
No matter when or how soon you will come back
But my heart is waiting for you.

clapping Yay! Your very own thread.... at least you know in here that each individual thread will stay somewhere near the top

The Night Time Dragon

Gracefully soaring,
through the midnight skies,
but too fast to be witnessed,
by human eyes.

With scales that glisten,
like the sun on the sea,
all black, greens and purples,
blending beautifully.

With eyes like the stars,
twinkling so bright,
to be seen miles away,
even in the darkest of nights.

Over mountains and rivers,
it glides through the air,
just enjoying the feeling,
with no worry or care.

The Night Time Dragon,
is a heavenly creature,
and is devoted to the night,
and has not one violent feature.

As it flies through the sky,
it gives out a calm call,
as it's way of goodbye,
for morning soon falls.

It goes back to the clouds,
and sleeps while it's bright,
and will dance once again,
by the return of the night.

Moriloke!

A dragon of decades
With scales so black
Hard like diamonds
Eyes as blue as the sea!
He lives in a cave many miles away.
and sleeps in the day!
But in the night he in his his full glory
flying unknown amonst the stars!
His cave is full of gems from afar
Beautiful items, full or purity!
No-one knows why he collects them
But I have heard of his love for a human-girl!
With hair as gold as the sun!
And eyes as blue as the sky!
Some say he morns for her
Some say he watches over her as she sleeps.
No-one really knows much about this dragon!
No-one has ever really seen him!
Accept me! I see him everynight
As i sleep he invades my dreams
To me he is a vision
of a beauty beyond all words.
And even though i keep it hid
My heart sings a song just for him
As he is Moriloke,
the rarest and yet most beautiful dragon
of all our time!

Did you write The Night Time Dragon? It's really good

The rest is still unwritten isnt that a song by Natasha Bedingfield?

Cheater

I'm not sure whether to post here or in the general thread, so here you go!

I really enjoyed The Night Time Dragon, I thought it was an excellent work of fiction! I also really liked Moriloke, though I prefer the structure you used in TNTD.

Keep writing!

I was up at 2 am writing a poem for a dear friend! I wrote 6 poems all on dragons. I didnt want to seem like i was obsessed so i decided to keep just the two best ones.

Yes libby i know its a song one of my fav's But it is meant to mean the rest of my poems is unwritten..

Trickster the thtd is more a fantasy poem...the morikole was meant to go that way but my feelings got in the damn way! More poems soon.

The Night Time Dragon, that's nicely done! And Moriloke...now you're making me blush here!

well err *runs*

Hungry like a wolfAs i lay here all alone
with no-one to comfort me
but my dreams and wishes
i see a stream and realise
how thirsty i really am
so i kneel down and
help myself to the water
but just then i see
a wild animal staring back at me
as i look around i realise
that i am truely alone
but yet again in this water
a wild animal appears
it stares at me for a while
with a great sadness in his eyes
and as a single tear falls from its eyes
my cheek feels wet
and then it hits me
that this wolf is no other
but my sad expression
looking back at me
and the love that i lost
has left me very
hungry....like a wolf!

the nothing
i hate it here
without you
the nights go on
for almost eternity
and my heart feels
an emptiness
that i cant describe
where are you
do you feel it too
it feel like.
total darkness
almost like
nothing is there......

I love them babe. So much feeling and emotion. Keep it up, youre amazing

A wasted heart!
by Sarah

I always think its worth it
that maybe we'll be together
then i snap back to reality
knowing to think better

I want to feel your heartbeat
pressed against mine
our faces slowly touching
as our finger intertwine

my heart is beating faster
hoping this moment never ends
i wish for once it could be simple
too bad we're only friends

The Fake Soul
By Sarah
It's hard to live behind a mask,
Making people believe your happy is a very hard task,
Days go by as my life gets worse,
Constantly hiding my dreaded curse,
People always believe what they see,
But they don't know whats going on for me,
My life is corrupt on the inside,
I cant hold it much longer i cannot hide,
But yet i cannot spread my feelings about I,
Instead the reflected light of the razors shines to my eye,
The movement of the razor relieves my soul,
It can help my secret but still will never be told.

For my Kmc friends
By Sarah
My insecurities are my fault.
My love for you is yours.
My heart is locked up like a vault
but with writing, it's a sealed door.

You can't understand the pain I feel,
nor will you realize why.
I'd try and explain, but it's so surreal,
Hurts so much, it makes me want to cry.

I think my lack of honesty ruined what little we had,
it's an error I often make.
But it's not that which makes me sad,
cause the truth I cannot fake

falling from Grace
By sarah

Shes losing faith,
Shes fallen from grace,
Looking for lost dreams,
Trying to find a place.

Of all the faces that she sees,
No one to help her,
Shes begging for a helping hand,
She needs someone to listen,
Stop and look.. shes begging on her knees.

Tears fill her eyes,
And no one listens,
No one to possibly hear her crys..
All she has to turn to,
This sharp friend,
This friend that glistens.

Will anyone ever help her?
Will anyone ever notice?
This fallen angel,
Emotions inside silently stir..

Shes losing faith,
Shes fallen from grace,
Looking for lost dreams,
Trying to find a place.

You're poems are beautiful Sarah...I enjoy reading them

Sweetie, if it helps at all, what we had before your 'mistake' was far too strong to be simply lost because of that, ok? hug

Unspoken
By candy x

if i could bring words
i would write for days
filling thimbles of pages
holding the sea
or would it be but one
a sentence or two
if i could speak
where language fell short
and plummeted
to the center of a silent tongue
but i cannot speak
all words at once
and none at all
forgive these clumsy lips
please
forgive this lowly jaw
she is far too slow
and pencil, too
to catch my savage thoughts

clapping

Nice one honey

I found you

I went to my past
to find my future
but when i got there
i found love..

I tried to fight my demons
that haunted my life
But when i felt weak
I found strength...

I fought back the tears
as i faced the truth
but when i was finished
I found YOU....

This poem was written for a someone who has a huge place in my heart...I went to ireland in search of me but found him instead..

Wow, they're all amazing...You're very talented, keep writing!

tyhanks....the last one isnt my best but my fav

Originally posted by Enslaved
I found you

I went to my past
to find my future
but when i got there
i found love..

I tried to fight my demons
that haunted my life
But when i felt weak
I found strength...

I fought back the tears
as i faced the truth
but when i was finished
I found YOU....

This poem was written for a someone who has a huge place in my heart...I went to ireland in search of me but found him instead..

Excellent sweetie, but could you perhaps make it a little longer? I feel there could be more verses before the last, creating more of a build up... it's beautiful though

sure...i will work on it just hope he sees it

hug

nope syrenna i cant make it ework

Her Name Was sarah - work in progress

her name was Sarah
she had just turned six
In came this man
with a bag of tricks

He locked her door
as he gave an evil smile
she held back her tears
like she had done for a while

She knew what was coming
Just like any another day
he would make her feel dirty
as he has his wicked way

He would whisper sweet words
as he inserted his dick
she would cry silently
as she began to feel sick

When he was finsihed
he would kiss her cheek
then leave her alone alone
feeling rather weak

Dead

She grabs the knife
and slashes her wrists,
is this her fate
to die with hate
her parents ask god why
well was she hated and unloved
did she have no true friends
was her family never really there

she died of pain
died of hurt
but all she wanted was to be loved
to be loved by you...

Defeat.

I watch with amazement
as girls flock to your side
saying the sweetest things
hoping you will look their way
I guess their are trying
to win you over....
But i know your heart
isnt up for the challange
as someone got there first
with her sweet words of love
and her promises of a fun filled future
your heart was simply won over
i let out a laugh as i know that girl
is none other than me...
so i slide in between them
and plant ahuge kiss on your lips
and walk away...with a smile
as i watch with amazement
their looks of defeat that
has spread on their faces....

i wrote because i know what if feels like tobe one of those girls hoping that i can win over his heart...Maybe one day i will. Babe this is for you

The impossible

The Impossable

I made him a promise that i woudn't fall for him
But right now i feel like its impossibale
he touches all the right buttons with his soft words of love
and he has this cutest smile that he saves for only me
I know that his heart belongs to another
and that he will never truely be mine.
But i can dream cant i?
i cant stop these emotins from happening
Its like the more i try not to
the more i fall and hard
So i'll leave you a piece of my heart
whatever you decided to do
with it is ok!
But just remember
Not falling for you
was just to impossible....

Just some random thoughts

My thoughts, my feelings and desires grow stronger.
i close my eyes and see you
and i open them
and wish that you were here.
i think of how it would be,
and out of this- my fantasy...
you lying on the bed and me standing in the door way.
i walk towards you and my heart begins to race,
but my feet know where my body wants to be
Right beside you, as close as possible,
on top, underneath, anywhere acceptable.
kissing so passionately our hands explore,
you're fulfilling my fantasies as i fulfill yours.
tangled in each other, breathing hard, sweat dripping,
everything's in rhythm.
in, out, up, down, faster, harder,
can't have one without the other?
i say stop and you know i mean go
it's all opposites
it's rough and nasty, but passionate and sensual.
can it last forever?
we move in sync, breathe as one.
our skin creating no friction between us
because of how hot our passion makes us.
i'm completely in a trance, completely drained.
I arch my back.
I gasp for air.
I snap back to reality and realize,
it's just a fantasy...


Ever wanted someone so damn much...sometimes it really annoys me how much i want this man...ghrrrr

We talked it out
and got things into the open
your just simply afraid
and i am too...but for different reasons
i want us to be together
just like we planned
but not if it gonna cost you your life
so i'll bite my tongue
and hold back my feelings..
afraid if i push i'll push you away
so i wipe away my tears
and stop being selfish
as i realise something
loving you is easy
loosing you is hard

is it so wrong that i want to spend time with the one i love?

is it so wrong, so be in love with an amazing person?

is it so wrong that i want to be noticed once in a while by someone so very special?

is it so wrong to see him and run t ohim and confess my true feelings

is it so wrong how i can't do any of these things because the person i love doesn'tfeelthe same way
i'll let you decide ?

strolling along the beach
hand in hand
with the one i love.
I feel special..
kinda warm inside.
This sweet guy
is with me
and it feels pretty good.
I can feel rain drops
falling down on my face
and the reality sinks in
like a blast of cold air
it stings my face as
well as my heart
i fall to my knees
and try to blank out reality
that all this is a dream
or a wish my heart makes.
Oh how i long...
to be with you.
For just a meer second
it would feel so good..
But i know it will never happen.
as you will never feel for me
the way i feel for you...
So i lift my head up
and let the rain mix with my tears
as i let out a big cry
for the love i can never have

he looks at me with sadness in his eyes
'im sorry baby' he said
I guess im afraid...
she hurt me real bad..
and i dont want to hurt you
but my heart...
its stil weak from her..
i hush him and kiss his lips
and dry away his tears.
i know i can never be his
as he wil never love again
with his damaged heart

if you hold me
promise me you wont let go..
without you i am nothing
but here with you
i found happiness
even if its for a short-time
i kknow we cant be together
but for know i can pretend
that you love me
and everything is ok..
so please dont let go

Originally posted by Enslaved
Her Name Was sarah - work in progress

her name was Sarah
she had just turned six
In came this man
with a bag of tricks

He locked her door
as he gave an evil smile
she held back her tears
like she had done for a while

She knew what was coming
Just like any another day
he would make her feel dirty
as he has his wicked way

He would whisper sweet words
as he inserted his dick
she would cry silently
as she began to feel sick

When he was finsihed
he would kiss her cheek
then leave her alone alone
feeling rather weak
cry

Originally posted by ShapedByWords
cry

Meh! just my so called life

Originally posted by Enslaved
Her Name Was sarah - work in progress

her name was Sarah
she had just turned six
In came this man
with a bag of tricks

He locked her door
as he gave an evil smile
she held back her tears
like she had done for a while

She knew what was coming
Just like any another day
he would make her feel dirty
as he has his wicked way

He would whisper sweet words
as he inserted his dick
she would cry silently
as she began to feel sick

When he was finsihed
he would kiss her cheek
then leave her alone alone
feeling rather weak

Omg....I'm so sorry, Sarah....That's so sad...

Sarah, you're seriously working hard right now clapping

Your work has a definite theme though, if you need to talk, you know where I am hug

Originally posted by Syren
Sarah, you're seriously working hard right now clapping

Your work has a definite theme though, if you need to talk, you know where I am hug

thanks chica! I accepted it and made poetry out of it and moved on..But its nice to know i have a friend...Not tht i ever questioned it.

i have wrote more poetry and willpost it soon

I can't wait beautiful.

Will you ever know how much i love you,
will you ever know how much i care,?
do you know that if you ever need me,
one word and I'll be there,?
I'd change the world to make you happy,
because it kills me to cry,
for some reason I'm still holding on,
even though we've said goodbye,
i still carry you with me,
a part of you remains,
you came and changed my view of the world
and I'll never be the same,
i still want to be near you,
i don't want us to grow apart,
because your the one i love,
and you control my heart,
i live to look into your eyes,
theres such a magic in them nothing can compare,
there holding such a secret,
i know that somethings there,
they give me the hope that you still care,
i see the pain you carry,
i see the hurt come through your eyes,
your soul tells your story,
and your secrets you can't hide,
it's like you walk around unnoticed,
because the person they see is not the real you,
I'm the one that sees you and knows what your going through,
i know you don't believe me,
i know the way things seem,
but your the one that holds my thoughts and occupies my dreams,
something so wonderfully different about you,
your definitely one of a kind,
i love you so much and all that i pray is happiness you do find.

I wrote this for my Ex!

You can cry all you want,
Until there is nothing left wet in you....

You can scream and moan until your throat starts burning and getting sore....

You can pray to whattever god you think will listen....

You can hit and beat something until its dead, smashed or bruised....

You can slice and cut your skin until your blood escapes from within you....

Still....

It doesn't make....

Any difference....

You faded into the picture
the one black and broken
you drew me in with all your words
and the language that was spoken
you stitched my open wound
you wiped away my dripping blood
you caught all my falling tears
in which I was drowning in my own flood
you shelter me from the fire
you screen me from the burn
you helped me to continue through
the point of no return
my numbness has subsided
I now maintain the feeling
The temptations you offer
Seems the most appealing
My scar is now growing dim
You let the healing process begin

To Linka... who helped me threw the shit!

My heart cries to be rescued
my tears fall from my face
i cant seem to rememeber
how i got to this place
your voice offers protection
against a world full of pain
i know you will always be there
to catch all the rain
you always say things to help me through
and for that i will always thank you...

To Syren..My best friend on Kmc.

Damn you got a spark that wouldnt go away. Good stuff.

layed on the bed
waiting for him.
Tonight was the night
that i gave myself to him
As he hand went over my naked body
I let out a little moan.
As i looked into his eyes
i became lost in a trance
I guess i was spell bound.
out love making was soft
but picked up pace.
he was amazing and skillful
with everypart of him
when we finished
he whispered sweet nothings in my ear
and held me till morning.
I am now..and forever truely his

I found that you are perfect for me
in every blessed way.
your hands so big and strong,
caress and dance
up and down my arms.
your lips so soft and sweet,
that chocolate is second rate
as a tantalizing treat.
your eyes so brilliant and bright,
that i wish i could gaze into
all through the lonely nights.
But i know that your heart is owed by another
so i take my chance with you
Your lovemaking begins
and for one slight moment.
Im in heaven

Originally posted by Enslaved
Her Name Was sarah - work in progress

her name was Sarah
she had just turned six
In came this man
with a bag of tricks

He locked her door
as he gave an evil smile
she held back her tears
like she had done for a while

She knew what was coming
Just like any another day
he would make her feel dirty
as he has his wicked way

He would whisper sweet words
as he inserted his dick
she would cry silently
as she began to feel sick

When he was finsihed
he would kiss her cheek
then leave her alone alone
feeling rather weak
If I knew who did that I'd f@#$ing kill him. My sister was raped by my stepfather, my mom by her father, and every other woman I know bar none has been raped or molested. I am so sorry sweets. I hate being a man at times like this... I am glad you are moving on though. Grow, and change this world!

And, Dang GIRL! where have you been!??? haha great work!

thanks... yes i amtrying to change the world i have a weeboy and im trying to make sure he understands u must never do that to women

you're his only hope

Originally posted by ShapedByWords
you're his only hope

yes but it is hard..All i know is how men hurt me one way all the other..How can i show him the right way if he never sees if for him self..

To a special kmc memeber who worked his way into my heart.

I'm the world and you're the sun
Everything I do revolves around you.
That is the reason why I can't leave you.
I'm trapped by some invisible force.

If you were to ever leave me
There would only be darkness surrounding me,
I would be all alone, floating around in the universe.
I feel that day coming closer and closer.

Every night I cry myself to sleep
Dreading the day you leave me
All alone in the dark.

I'm scared that I will never find light again.
I'm scared of the sadness that's going to swallow me whole.
I'm scared of the loneliness that's going to devour my soul.

I can't let you go, I just can't.

Kmc sweethearts.
They walk around as if nothing else matters
they can only see the love that they have for each other
I think its very sweet, how these two are
without caring about what people think
they met and fell in love
He is truely smitten with her
her stunning asian looks. her gorgeous personlaity
to him she is a vision of true beauty
With one sweep she took his heart instantly.
We all know she feels the same way
but cause of her cool ways she wears it so well
They are perfect for each other]
They are the kmc sweethearts

To the hottest couple on kmc. enjoy each other and have wicked wild fun

...I'd like to point out, that this Long-Distance Relationship, started from MSN and a lot of phone conversations before it spilled into KMC.

Now, mind if I put this in my sig

Originally posted by Snoopbert
...I'd like to point out, that this Long-Distance Relationship, started from MSN and a lot of phone conversations before it spilled into KMC.

Now, mind if I put this in my sig

But anyone can be a msn sweetie...but it takes a lot to pull of to be a kmc sweetie...

What about a phone sweetie

BTW, this is tres sweet. Oh god, now I"m saying it

Originally posted by Enslaved
But anyone can be a msn sweetie...but it takes a lot to pull of to be a kmc sweetie...

It's beautiful, thanks Sarah hug

Originally posted by Snoopbert
BTW, this is tres sweet. Oh god, now I"m saying it

evillaugh

Originally posted by Snoopbert
BTW, this is tres sweet. Oh god, now I"m saying it

Tres sweet! lmfao.. phone sweeties...like Huh??

Runs off to write a poem for her baby

As in, it developed without the aid of KMC. It's just here for hte right. Thanks all the same hug

i was feeling lonley one day
then my eyes fell upon an old friend
he used to make me smile
and i didnt realise how much i missed him
within hours we started speaking
Our friendship was reformed..
But then out of the blue
I could feel my self fall
i reached out to hold his hand
and to my surprise he grabbed it tight
i remember our first kiss
how he sucked my lip a little
i remember how he called me 'special'
and within weeks he had become my baby
and found a little place in my heart

Nice

thanks i wrote for someone special here

It's hard for me
Part of me
Wants you
And her
To be together
But the other half
Hates it so much
I wish you wouldn't be

But I'm too nice
To be that mean
I'll let you be happy
If I smile is what I see
No more frowns
And depressed soul
For you to be happy
Is my main goal

I love when you smile
And laugh so loud
But late at night
Sometimes I cry
But I'll be okay
I'll make it through
Cause I still want
To be friends with you
If that's all you give
That's all I'll take
Because for you
I'll wait

Damn Sarah!! I am very impressed with your stuff. I think I need to get off my lazy ass and start writing more.

Originally posted by ShapedByWords
Damn Sarah!! I am very impressed with your stuff. I think I need to get off my lazy ass and start writing more.

Yes you shud.. Your work is fab

Your work is excellent as usual Sarah, but would you mind hitting me with a PM just to clear up the confusion I'm having about 'your baby'?

I wanna be with you,
but i dont know what to do.
I wanted one fella
but i ended up with two
i would stay but i have to leave
because
i cant just pick one of you.
but i know that i hurt you both with
all the things that i do.
but i know by doing this I'm
gonna hurt you two.
So look in my eyes and tell me
how you feel. you say you
love me but is it real?
I have no idea which one to choose
and the longer it takes its gonna get worse.
but please believe me as i say tht i did try
so i'll end now with a simple goodbye

Thanks for clearing up the mess of my mind and assumptions eyes

Originally posted by Syren


Thanks for clearing up the mess of my mind and assumptions eyes

its okay chica...

Originally posted by ShapedByWords
Damn Sarah!! I am very impressed with your stuff. I think I need to get off my lazy ass and start writing more. yep!!write more tis awsome


Originally posted by Enslaved
It's hard for me
Part of me
Wants you
And her
To be together
But the other half
Hates it so much
I wish you wouldn't be

But I'm too nice
To be that mean
I'll let you be happy
If I smile is what I see
No more frowns
And depressed soul
For you to be happy
Is my main goal

I love when you smile
And laugh so loud
But late at night
Sometimes I cry
But I'll be okay
I'll make it through
Cause I still want
To be friends with you
If that's all you give
That's all I'll take
Because for you
I'll wait Originally posted by Enslaved
thanks i wrote for someone special here awsome and mario comment on this poem!!

Originally posted by snehin
yep!!write more tis awsome


awsome and mario comment on this poem!!

he did via pm..

Originally posted by Enslaved
I wanna be with you,
but i dont know what to do.
I wanted one fella
but i ended up with two
i would stay but i have to leave
because
i cant just pick one of you.
but i know that i hurt you both with
all the things that i do.
but i know by doing this I'm
gonna hurt you two.
So look in my eyes and tell me
how you feel. you say you
love me but is it real?
I have no idea which one to choose
and the longer it takes its gonna get worse.
but please believe me as i say tht i did try
so i'll end now with a simple goodbye

thanks

Whats wrong?

nothing i was saying thansk to my poems

indeed...

They way you look into them eyes of hers...
They way you kiss them lips of hers...
They way you smile after wards at her...
Is the way you you look into my eyes...
The way you should kiss me...
The way you should smile at me...

The way you hug her...
The way you touch her...
The way your body's are close together...
Is the way you should hug me...
The way you should touch me...
The way our body's should be close together...

The way that that you make her feel...
The little feeling you give her heart...
The way you make her fall in love...
Is the way you should make me feel...
The feeling you should give my heart,
The way you should make me fall in love...

But i guess you already give me that feeling...
You already give me the feeling in my heart...
And...
I have already fallen in love with you....
I love you...to bad you love her...

pretty deep, I'd never want to hear someone tell me that last part...

When i first met you,
I didn't recognize your beauty,
But inside and out your flawless,
And seem to have the most perfect imperfections.

As i noticed you more,
I felt so much bliss,
And i realized it was you that made me feel that way,
It was so incisive i admired you.

Soon i got addicted,
And craved you always be here,
Sometimes I'd cry and moan if you wasn't,
My heart felt desolated.

Once i looked at you and burst into tears,
And still i wonder why?
But it was tears of happiness,
While you were around it felt hurt could not enter my life.

Not long ago i realized i love you,
Sometimes i didn't even know how to feel,
Every time you were in my sight,
You gave me the butterfly's.

I don't want to love you,
Because i know its impossible,
You could never adore me,
So i just kept it hiding my true feelings.

Until one day something you said,
Made me feel so Fearless,
I can't remember what it was,
But i got ready to say it.

As those three words left my mouth,
It felt like my heart rate had increased my thousands,
And my hands were shaking like i was being electrocuted,
The pause was intense waiting for your reply.

10/10!! shit!!!

I love "Waiting For Your Reply" Good job

Unhappy with this but i cant make it work

looks into your eyes
as a tear falls from mine
i look down and bite by bottom lip
afraid to show him how i care
or to let him know how i really feel.
i didnt choose him because i didnt love him
But because I was afraid to lose him..

now he looks at me with diff eyes
they same guy who loved me
barely talks to me
i can feel my heart break
but i know it was my own doing
so as my head goes into my knees i sob
for the love tht i lost

bravo!!

Originally posted by Enslaved
When i first met you,
I didn't recognize your beauty,
But inside and out your flawless,
And seem to have the most perfect imperfections.

As i noticed you more,
I felt so much bliss,
And i realized it was you that made me feel that way,
It was so incisive i admired you.

Soon i got addicted,
And craved you always be here,
Sometimes I'd cry and moan if you wasn't,
My heart felt desolated.

Once i looked at you and burst into tears,
And still i wonder why?
But it was tears of happiness,
While you were around it felt hurt could not enter my life.

Not long ago i realized i love you,
Sometimes i didn't even know how to feel,
Every time you were in my sight,
You gave me the butterfly's.

I don't want to love you,
Because i know its impossible,
You could never adore me,
So i just kept it hiding my true feelings.

Until one day something you said,
Made me feel so Fearless,
I can't remember what it was,
But i got ready to say it.

As those three words left my mouth,
It felt like my heart rate had increased my thousands,
And my hands were shaking like i was being electrocuted,
The pause was intense waiting for your reply.

Fantastic Sarah, may I suggest a few alterations?

'But inside and out you're flawless'

'It was so incisive, {or} that i admired you'

'And craved you'd always be here
Sometimes I'd cry and moan if you weren't,'

'But they were tears of happiness,'

'You gave me the butterflies'

'So i just tried to hide my true feelings'

'It felt like my heart rate had increased tenfold'

Just tiny little amendments, they should make it more smooth... don't feel obliged to change it though, it's beautiful regardless

Originally posted by Syren
Fantastic Sarah, may I suggest a few alterations?

'But inside and out you're flawless'

'It was so incisive, {or} that i admired you'

'And craved you'd always be here
Sometimes I'd cry and moan if you weren't,'

'But they were tears of happiness,'

'You gave me the butterflies'

'So i just tried to hide my true feelings'

'It felt like my heart rate had increased tenfold'

Just tiny little amendments, they should make it more smooth... don't feel obliged to change it though, it's beautiful regardless Bravo! Bravo! I shall endeavour to follow suit.


Enslaved:

First rule in poetry
Format: Capitalise the first letter for each new line. Each verse should serve as a complete sentence. It may not seem important, but remember this when or if you should decide to submit pieces for review and/or to be published.

Second: Punctuation is key as well as spell checking. Now for revisions, this is a suggestion as I've stated in other's pieces. Nothing more, nothing less. It's your work and your decision...s'up to you a'ight?

Yours:
looks into your eyes
as a tear falls from mine
i look down and bite by bottom lip
afraid to show him how i care
or to let him know how i really feel.
i didnt choose him because i didnt love him
But because I was afraid to lose him..

Revision:
I gaze...into your eyes,
As salted tears falls from mine.
I look away, biting my bottom lip.
Fear compels me to act indifferent,
And deny him my emotional thoughts and feelings.
What choice had I, when kept he, not out of love,
But of anguished fear of losing him.

Eh....bit of a really long stretch on my part. But the gist is the same, if not literally. Not necessarily the correct way as there are many ways to do poetry.

Originally posted by Enslaved
thanks... yes i amtrying to change the world i have a weeboy and im trying to make sure he understands u must never do that to women
In-F@#@ing deed. pardonez mois, si vous plait.Originally posted by Enslaved
yes but it is hard..All i know is how men hurt me one way all the other..How can i show him the right way if he never sees if for him self.. find or pray for a decent man. Is all you can do.

And, yeah, I agree with sy some, but overall excellence. Love it sweets.

Originally posted by NunYahBidness
Bravo! Bravo! I shall endeavour to follow suit.


Enslaved:

First rule in poetry
Format: Capitalise the first letter for each new line. Each verse should serve as a complete sentence. It may not seem important, but remember this when or if you should decide to submit pieces for review and/or to be published.

Second: Punctuation is key as well as spell checking. Now for revisions, this is a suggestion as I've stated in other's pieces. Nothing more, nothing less. It's your work and your decision...s'up to you a'ight?

Yours:
looks into your eyes
as a tear falls from mine
i look down and bite by bottom lip
afraid to show him how i care
or to let him know how i really feel.
i didnt choose him because i didnt love him
But because I was afraid to lose him..

Revision:
I gaze...into your eyes,
As salted tears falls from mine.
I look away, biting my bottom lip.
Fear compels me to act indifferent,
And deny him my emotional thoughts and feelings.
What choice had I, when kept he, not out of love,
But of anguished fear of losing him.

Eh....bit of a really long stretch on my part. But the gist is the same, if not literally. Not necessarily the correct way as there are many ways to do poetry.

*curties*

I felt obliged...

I'm a complete sucker for perfect grammar and punctuation, (but I do make mistakes, so don't go on a mad hunt for all the ones you've noticed so far)... anyway, I often sound utterly pedantic and irksome, I know. But I mean no offence, and Sarah knows that.

As for your offer of amendment, I suggest you lengthen it, title it and call it your own, if Sarah used that she'd be guilty of plagiarism

Guys can you live my spellings alone please..

Locked away in my own mind,
And me myself i just can't seem to find,
My true feelings that are inside,
And forever they will hide.

My heart in prisoned in fake feelings,
Not knowing the real meanings,
In myself not truly believing,
Because I'm so fake and deceiving.

I want to know the real me,
But i just cannot see,
I want all my feelings to be free,
But some one has locked them up and threw away

Originally posted by Enslaved
Unhappy with this but i cant make it work

looks into your eyes
as a tear falls from mine
i look down and bite by bottom lip
afraid to show him how i care
or to let him know how i really feel.
i didnt choose him because i didnt love him
But because I was afraid to lose him..
Originally posted by Enslaved
now he looks at me with diff eyes
they same guy who loved me
barely talks to me
i can feel my heart break
but i know it was my own doing
so as my head goes into my knees i sob
for the love tht i lost
you're stealing my gimmick

Sorry your heart only feels sad things. Mine is the same way.

Originally posted by Enslaved
Locked away in my own mind,
And me myself i just can't seem to find,
My true feelings that are inside,
And forever they will hide.

My heart in prisoned in fake feelings,
Not knowing the real meanings,
In myself not truly believing,
Because I'm so fake and deceiving.

I want to know the real me,
But i just cannot see,
I want all my feelings to be free,
But some one has locked them up and threw away
cry
omg thats so deep and heart breaking.

itshow i feel

My heart has shattered into a million pieces,
as slowly a part of my soul dies,
as I'm trying to hold back my sadness,
and keep the tears from spilling from my eyes,
I can't let them see the hurt my heart feels,
they simply wouldn't understand,
It's like someone just crushed me,
and all my hopes went down the drain,
it's amazing how quickly my heart stops everytime they say your name,
I had heard it once,but couldn't let it be true,
it just didn't sound like something you would do,
but yet they said it again,
and sadly I start to realize,
I really am losing you,
your slipping from my life,
and all I am is left here without you to drown in my own tears,
I don't even know her,
but I HATE her with a passion thats true,
and I know that she'll never love you more than I do,
losing you was my biggest fear,
but your happiness is everything,
It means the world to me,
I prayed to God to let you be happy,
So even if it breaks my heart,
If your truly happy,
then I pray for it to be...

cry

you dont like it

Rain drops falling from the sky,
while it washes away my tears,
all i can think about is this one particular guy,
from the moment i met him i did not have anymore fears,
for he made me feel so safe in his arms,

there was one fear still left inside,
the fear was the fear of losing him and the security of his arms,
when I'm with him i feel like i don't have to hide,
but i can be myself for he loves me for who i am,

the rain is falling harder now and i still begin to cry,
the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes,
i don't ever want to see the day i have to say good bye,
what is it about me he really likes,
does he feel the same as i do about him?

So why do i cry and cry now when i know i have the greatest guy ever,
its cause i fear the day that could happen when i cant have him forever,
the day of losing him losing him for ever and ever,
i fear this because...........


. . i love him . .

Originally posted by Enslaved
Rain drops falling from the sky,
while it washes away my tears,
all i can think about is this one particular guy,
from the moment i met him i did not have anymore fears,
for he made me feel so safe in his arms,

there was one fear still left inside,
the fear was the fear of losing him and the security of his arms,
when I'm with him i feel like i don't have to hide,
but i can be myself for he loves me for who i am,

the rain is falling harder now and i still begin to cry,
the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes,
i don't ever want to see the day i have to say good bye,
what is it about me he really likes,
does he feel the same as i do about him?

So why do i cry and cry now when i know i have the greatest guy ever,
its cause i fear the day that could happen when i cant have him forever,
the day of losing him losing him for ever and ever,
i fear this because...........


. . i love him . . ....... cry wow...... emotinal shock, that one. good work.

I like both if the new ones Sarah.

Originally posted by ShapedByWords
I like both if the new ones Sarah.

well goody for you!

Originally posted by Enslaved
Rain drops falling from the sky,
while it washes away my tears,
all i can think about is this one particular guy,
from the moment i met him i did not have anymore fears,
for he made me feel so safe in his arms,

there was one fear still left inside,
the fear was the fear of losing him and the security of his arms,
when I'm with him i feel like i don't have to hide,
but i can be myself for he loves me for who i am,

the rain is falling harder now and i still begin to cry,
the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes,
i don't ever want to see the day i have to say good bye,
what is it about me he really likes,
does he feel the same as i do about him?

So why do i cry and cry now when i know i have the greatest guy ever,
its cause i fear the day that could happen when i cant have him forever,
the day of losing him losing him for ever and ever,
i fear this because...........


. . i love him . .

crybaby

She looks at him
with an innocent smile
when really her heart is quite dark
She makes out to be the victim
when really she is the criminal
Cant she see what she has done
That she took all that i loved
But he will never see it..
Instead he takes her side
and says his goodbyes to me..
Well screw him...and screw her...
But before i go i think
its time to make the Unknown...


....Known!

Originally posted by Enslaved
She looks at him
with an innocent smile
when really her heart is quite dark
She makes out to be the victim
when really she is the criminal
Cant she see what she has done
That she took all that i loved
But he will never see it..
Instead he takes her side
and says his goodbyes to me..
Well screw him...and screw her...
But before i go i think
its time to make the Unknown...


....Known! nice

Originally posted by Enslaved
Rain drops falling from the sky,
while it washes away my tears,
all i can think about is this one particular guy,
from the moment i met him i did not have anymore fears,
for he made me feel so safe in his arms,

there was one fear still left inside,
the fear was the fear of losing him and the security of his arms,
when I'm with him i feel like i don't have to hide,
but i can be myself for he loves me for who i am,

the rain is falling harder now and i still begin to cry,
the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes,
i don't ever want to see the day i have to say good bye,
what is it about me he really likes,
does he feel the same as i do about him?

So why do i cry and cry now when i know i have the greatest guy ever,
its cause i fear the day that could happen when i cant have him forever,
the day of losing him losing him for ever and ever,
i fear this because...........


. . i love him . . best yet, A++

i know you dont

thx

Wow. Very nice pieces. And nothing? Hon, if you can gather up the cajones to write poems and then show us, you are not anything close to nothing. You are amazing. Period.

Originally posted by DreamingWarrior
....... cry wow...... emotinal shock, that one. good work.

Thanks..

Go On!

You can go on and leave me here
I will sit here and cry
All that goes through my head is your face
Go on and go be with her
But you don't understand
How much you mean to me
You are very important to me
If you leave me here Tonight I swear I will cry
Just go on I will have to move on
It will be hard but I think I can do it
Go on leave me here

~The life I wanted
I had it all worked out
Perfectionism doesn't always reap results
I never stopped to doubt

You cannot have everything
I recently learned
And if you aim too high
you'll end up getting burned

You will overload your mind
And your health will pay the fee
you'll be reckless, stupid, and dangerous
you'll end up just like me

When i know i've really lost
Is when you don't return my call
I know I deserve this now
But that does nothing to soften the fall~

Originally posted by Enslaved
Guys can you live my spellings alone please..

Sarah, surely making your poetry perfect is a good thing? It's not a reflection on you as a person... the whole point in posting your work is to get some criticism, whether good or bad. Constructive adjustments can only be beneficial. Don't be so sensitive

Obviously you've a lot of pain in your work...they're good, nonetheless.

Originally posted by Syren
Sarah, surely making your poetry perfect is a good thing? It's not a reflection on you as a person... the whole point in posting your work is to get some criticism, whether good or bad. Constructive adjustments can only be beneficial. Don't be so sensitive

I was having a laugh..Honest..I shud have put Lol at the end of it..but riley was buggin me

Originally posted by Syren
Holy shit! This is brilliant Sarah, I love the repetition of 'Behind angel eyes..', it's so powerful.

I love it

I wrote it when i was at my lowest...im glad you like it

You have seen some real scheisse in life, huh hon? Phew... hope it is much better now. If not, gimme names! I'll break some knees for ya!

*prepares shotgun*

I'm in!

lol you lot

Originally posted by Enslaved
lol you lot

F'in A, babe. F'in A.

I miss this thread...

did jaxx leave?

More or less, she's here, but not here...

She didn't leave, she has her own forum to focus on right now. Amongst other things

ahhh... well, hmmmmmmm bring her back for a few yo!

She hasn't written poems in a long, long time...

yeah...

True... but then, neither have I. Sometimes the inspiration dies

Originally posted by Syren
True... but then, neither have I. Sometimes the inspiration dies
How true... how true... *sigh*

hug

Originally posted by Syren
True... but then, neither have I. Sometimes the inspiration dies She should have more inspiration then ever!

Sorry guys, i have a forum now whichg takes alot of time..and then my father died.. But i have wrote some more

What is Love

Love is a special feeling
that may break your heart someday
Love can be broken
lost and taken away

Love can be forgotten
shared and torn apart
Nothing will help you once he breaks your heart

But cheer up now
for there is good with the bad
Put a smile on your face
and don't look so sad

Love is a feeling
you'll learn to adore
Cuz once you get to know it
you'll be lookin for more

The beauty of the light

I wish to grasp just a portion
This tender part of me can't wait
I dream to meet this awkward light
For it brightens when I'm sad
And it dims when I look away

For it can not leave me alone
Without it I come see my grave
For it takes me from that dark place
And it brings me to see beauty

This love is unconditional
This bond is unforgettable
And this tender part of me is...
Beauty

"What Is Love" seems to shift from aspect of love to another leaving both sides incomplete. (did that even make sense? )

"The Beauty Of The Light" is almost perfect to me. I like it.

Originally posted by Frozen kisses
What is Love

Love is a special feeling
that may break your heart someday
Love can be broken
lost and taken away

Love can be forgotten
shared and torn apart
Nothing will help you once he breaks your heart

But cheer up now
for there is good with the bad
Put a smile on your face
and don't look so sad

Love is a feeling
you'll learn to adore
Cuz once you get to know it
you'll be lookin for more EXACTLY!!!! direct, and to the point! no need for embelishments to say what "love" is....no poetic ode, or glossed phrasings to describe something simple yet so complicated as something of what eludes us, but desperate to have and cling to...(does anyone even know what i'm talking about?) Originally posted by T.V.O.T.I.
"What Is Love" seems to shift from aspect of love to another leaving both sides incomplete. (did that even make sense? )

"The Beauty Of The Light" is almost perfect to me. I like it. almost?

nothing is perfect

its not "cool" to be sad.