Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Come on guys..... somebody's gotta read it!!! i need feedcack!!!

Cheers,

Justin

its its its, so long

oh I didn'T see you are canadian I will read it then

To be honest, if video games influence you, you're screwed already.

I think its good. . . however my English teacher is a cowboy, so what would I know?All we study is Christian-bashing poems and Macbeth!

but it was pretty good???

Justin

Good essay. What's it for, though?

Yep it was great ! Although you could have used more conjunctive phrases eg. moreover, further evedence suggests, on the other hand, there can be no arguement, in brief, in conclusion etc. etc.

At least thats what Mrs Pitcairn would say. . .

it's for english of course! it's a persuasive essay and we got to pick the topic, so i thought that this topic was a pretty controvercial, but winnable topic, so ya, i picked it and I think i did a pretty good job.... do you?

Cheers,

Justin

its pretty good, but you could go more into shooting games instead of games in general

hes just said!

I know I edited :P

Were doing them! mine was on Political Music.

ya, all i talk about is violent video games!!! are you kidding!?

thanks everyone!!! but is there anything else????

Come on! i need feedback here!!! due tomorow!!!

Cheers,

Justin

Maybe you should delve into the other side of the arguement and why that view is wrong. That's what I get told to do in History.

ya, thats what i thought, but that's why i said all of that crap in the first paragraph!!

Cheers,

Justin

keep the criticism coming guys!!!!!

Cheers,

Justin

ARGH!!!! come on guys!!!! DUE TOMOROW!!!!!!

Cheers,

Justin

I don' t know whether or not you checked your essay on spelling/grammar mistakes yet but...

...the most prominent issues are or the most prominent issue is.

School without a capital.

I' d write the difference between reality & fiction.
...if you ask instead of asked? me.


You' re using 'blow off steam' a tad too much in that 1 paragraph. Maybe you should look for a synonym.
And again, ask instead of asked? maybe.


This paragraph is not really relevant to your essay and I can imagine your teacher might misinterpret it.