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Constipation is a terrible thing to suffer from. I have experienced this 'concrete-bowels' affliction only once, but it lasted 2 days and made me feel like a fit to burst watermelon. But...

It got me thinking...What do you do whilst taking a crap?

Personally, I'm a staunch believer in the 'read-while-you-poo' philosophy. It allows you to spend a decent amount of time on the throne, so you don't poop-shoot too quickly and bust a blood vessel. However, with pleasure there can come pain...A fellow believer and friend of mine, once recounted how he believes he got THE HEMORROIDS...apparently it was a case of straining too hard and too long whilst relieving his bowels...so be careful...

Another rather uncomfortable malady is diarrhoea...I've only had it baaaaaaaaaaaaaad the once, but I don't wish to experience it again...The culprit was some meat of indeterminate origin(I believe it was Jungle Pidegon...) served with lots of chilli in a banana leaf on the Indonesian isle of Gili Trawangan...the next day was not spent snorkeling and sun-bathing, but rather shitting and shitting and shitting and shitting...It also results in BIG headaches as a result of the dehydration it causes...

Anyway, enjoy the poll and discuss the way you shit...

I also wanted to mention something about turd size, but I forgot...I'll leave it here as a 'follow through', as it were...

Im so ****in disgusted right now

^ ditto

Its called, Dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool

I didn't read any of that

why not just sing to yourself while making some logs?

um... nothing

read

Its sooo much though

Poop.

i have a bathrooms reader. a book full of worthless facts. something fit to read while dropping off the kids... so yeah, reading.

It's usually a video game mag for me...Game Pro, EGM etc.

Tell me who would eat and drink while taking a crap?

hey i have that! i have learned very valuable information from thatthumbup

i took a soda can in the can once or twice... it was in the summer. and straining out poop is quite exhausting.

i get my best ice breakers from that book. good book. uncle john's bathroom reader, is it?

Do you realise you're a very intelligent guy? Yet you continually post such crap (excuse the unintended pun) that it beggars belief.

By the way, I think when I shit.

proof that women think too much.

Did you make a typo and actually intend to type 'disgusting'?



Excuse the intended pun, but I think this thread fits perfectly with all the other crap that gets posted in 'The Off Topic Forum'.

A lot of adults are fond of having copies of 'Reader's Digest' in the loo...I think it's quite appropriate considering the relationship to the business at foot...digested food > waste product > 'Reader's DIGEST'...

I know a few people that actually drink orange juice on the job, but I'm yet to meet someone who eats/shits...we can but hope and dream...

Well, it all depends. I sometimes carry whatever I'm reading at the time, with me...how the hell do you think I finished Anna Karenina(like Tolstoy is worthy of more)? Sometimes I take the computer with me...guess where I am right now. If I'm eating something and feel the urge, I'll take it with me. If I'm on the phone, it is coming with me.

*snort*

You have some valid points eyes

I usually read.

Although I have to keep asking Mrs.MM to change her brand of shampoo and conditioner once I've memorised the current brands ingredients.

voted 'plz explain'

OMG... doesn't it just drive you insane?? I'm thinking about blu tacking some humorous posters to the wall opposite my toilet and changing them on a weekly basis.

It gets worse, I have three toilets in my new house and there's only 1 with something to read in it!

I think I may buy three copies of one book and leave a copy in each...

That would be good, but when you finish the book?? Then what?? How will you cope??

Ah, but I'd have three books to finish first!






No wait, thats not right...

Three of the same

*waits patiently*

Err one, two.... three. Less one, less one, carry the one, no thats not right...

It actually states 'Other...Please explain'... - So, you either didn't understand that phrase or you suffered a momentary black-out causing you to miss the word 'other' or when you are doing your business on the throne of thrones you talk to it as it 'appears' to be talking to you...Let me explain by way of an example:

'Toilet': Bllrrrrp!
You: Please explain...
'Toilet': Blllrrrrpppp-pppp-pppp-pup!
You: Please explain...
'Toilet': Bllrrp.
You: Please explain...
'Toilet': Blllllllllllllllrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppp-pppp-ppppp-ppppp-BLOSH!
You: Please explain...

Well, I hate to break it to you, my dear...BUT...that entity that you believe has voice which you ask to 'explain', just so happens to be coming from you ass! I KNOW! IT'S SHOCKING! Life goes on...

I have no idea why im saying this, but I play Gameboy SP while in the bathroom. Its rather fun. No joke.

She's FOREIGN, you ignorant ass

That could almost be considered as racist.

What do you mean "she's FOREIGN"!?!?!?! It's not called the 'World Wide Web' nothing...

Oh, he's going somewhere....

And if you are making sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet love by the fire?

When Im on the pot I Squeeze and squeeze to see if I can blow my rectum out

Amen Sister ...

You really don't want to squeeze too hard...As i stated earlier...My friend had hemorroids and had to get them surgically removed or something...he said it was rather uncomfortable...

crazy

An itching or painful mass of dilated veins in swollen anal tissue.

^ Does that sound like fun?

sounds like more than I wanted to know....

Love by the fire, you say. It depends on the lover...I may not even need to leave the room. Kinky.

Are you getting your kicks down Route Fecal-6? Kinky indeed...