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I'd have to say my new favorite's from Cable/Deadpool #1:

***********************************
Deadpool: This is Deadpool.

Phone: The mercenary?

Deadpool: I prefer "Well-Compensated Establishment Provocateur."

Phone: Ah, yes. Have you ever heard of the One World Church?

Deadpool: Nope

Phone: It's in France.

Deadpool: I'll pass.

Phone: It pays a lot.

Deadpool: Good sir, you can't pay me enough to go to France while our countries are at war!

Phone: Uhm, we're not at war.

Deadpool: We're not?

Phone: No.

Deadpool: Oh....

Deadpool: So... How much money?

Deadpool: ...

Deadpool: Well, that sure is a lot...
***********************************

Good stuff

Erm....

Too many to name right off the bat,

Deadpool: You smug little....wait speaking of video games, you ever play Street Fighter?

Kitty: As if...

*Deadpool gives her a dragon punch*

Deadpool: SHORYUKEN!

http://vice.parodius.com/stuff/Deadpool%2027-10.jpg

Also:

Deadpool: Holy Spider-Man ripoffs! Is THIS the suit I've been wearing?

-AC

hysterical hysterical

Pretty much anything from Simone's run. Ratbag was hilarious/

Kelly's run was kind of eh, some good moments, but he tried to make it so big and important. Personally, waiting 25 issues for that mithras stuff was a bit annoying. Though there were some good moments, Batroc, rochambeau-ing Captain America, etc.

I liked Priest's run a lot too, I just wish they would have given him free reign, and given it to him at a time when he was ready for it. I've read his blog about Deadpool, and interviews with him regarding the series, and a lot of his run was him being cajoled into doing stuff he didn't want to(mainly the space stuff, which were left over plot ideas from the previous writer's run that they made him flesh out). But then he did have some great ideas, the super-villian room mates and more. The BP crossover was sweet too.

Nicieza's done a great job as well so far, though 'Pool sometimes feels like a guest star in his own book, as it seemed to be largely Cable related. But Wade got some good stuff in, and his banter with Fixer in #11 was good .

Holy crap, I forgot all about that one.

Still, the fact that he thought we were at war with France was pretty damn funny to me, lol.

Oh, and what exactly was the Hulkamania crack he made to Hulk? I know you had that on your sig for a while Alpha.

Hmmmm, no one else with other quotes?

The Hulkamania quote was something along the lines of "All you're missing now is the blonde moustache."

I can't find the actual comic.

-AC

I think the quote you had said something about the mustache and the Hulkamania t-shirt, if I remember correctly.

Yeah I can't remember it. Dammit.

-AC

Cable/Deadpool #4

(whilst melting away)....been thinking of starting up a super hero porn site...nothin too rude, i mean tasteful nakedshots of SUE RICHARDS...when's she VISIBLE, 'cos otherwise, DUH..."


hehe..wata dork....

More! I want more quotes!

Cable/Deadpool #1

Weird One World Church guy: "SUNIC is a worldwide pharmaceutical giant. Members of me MINISTRY OF INSINUATION --"

DP: "They suggest nasty things about people?"

One World: " they INSINUATE themselves into the workings of divided worlds.."

Hey guys, I'm sorry if this thread has been done already cause I didn't care to check but I was just thinking that these baords could use some humor. Anyway's my request is that anyone out there who's got deadpool (or actually any character for that matter) at his funniest (prank calls, insults, etc), could you please post pics of em?

hope this goes well and doesn't die out to soon.

There's already a quote thread.

I loved it when DP was hanging out with mini-Rhino. Everything was just hilarious.

-AC

The recent issue from deadpol/cable (#12) was funny. Deapool is SO whack!

Right here:

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/f43/t324989.html

thanks Tron



merging...

Originally posted by Tron
Holy crap, I forgot all about that one.

Still, the fact that he thought we were at war with France was pretty damn funny to me, lol.

Oh, and what exactly was the Hulkamania crack he made to Hulk? I know you had that on your sig for a while Alpha.

Oh yeah i have that issue , the crack is .

Hulk-You must have me confused with someone who cares !

Deadpool- Actually i had you confused with that other hulk before -- But your lack of poorly manicured goatee and hulkamania headband was a dead giveaway

Haha what about when DP was trying to solve the murder in Cable and DP 12? He didn't have any clues, so it must have been those dastardly muslims! It's so wrong yet so right at the same time...

(This was one of the three buildings on the island used as Mosques.)

(That's pretty suspicious right?)

(I mean, why let statistics, truth and reality could my judgement? I'm not gonna be some pansy liberal.)

"WHERE ARE ALL YOUR GUNS AND ROCKET-PROPELLED GRENADES?!?"

"What?" says a guy in the mosque.

"Don't all you guys have guns and rocketpropelled grenades?"

"That is disgusting! I don't care if I die right now, but you are a pig and an idiot!" -- guy

Haha...or what about issue 11 where he falls in the Fixers pool? And it has a bunch of murals of naked Avenger women.

"Hey! Naked Avengers painted on the side of the pool. This guy's a loser, but he's my kind of loser. Where's Sue RIchards!?!?"

"Oh, c'mon---was that REALLY THOR? Very impressive mjolnir."

later on...

"The guy that did your pool...can he paints any X-men?"

Deadpool 34

"Bullseye...if you blow my head off...That'll really annoy me.."

I'm sorry, I have almost all DP comics in existence. Fabian Niceaza(however you spell it does write a good DP though.)

"SIRYN!...and Cannonballs!" -- DP

"That's Cannonball you twit!-- Sam

"Really? You sure? 'cause I kinda had a healthy does of respect for you before..."
"Well, whatever you're like junior X-men, right? Mutants born with special gifts who fight to save the very world that fears them--Well SO AM I!" -- DP

"You're not a mutant Wilson!" -- Sam slams DP into a wall..
"And you're not an X-men" - Sam

"Well, SAMUEL, just cause you got rocket-power farting powers. I'm not gonna split hairs and i'm not gonna fight my teammates. I mean. Unless it involves terry's clothes coming off and mud or chocolate pudding or soemthing like that.." -- DP


k, i'm done for now.

(wolverine unsheathes his claws)

Deadpool- yay yay fighty time fighty time blood blood blood (in a sing song voice)

Remember the one where he gets hired by one of Typhoid Mary's personalities to either help her escape or kill her, depending on which personality survives?

He is walking through the insane asylum, wearing his holographically projected mask, pretending to be a psychiatrist. A patient stops him and says "Dr, I feel much better, not having any hallucinations anymore. do you think I'm cured?"

And Deadpool, of course, switches off the holographic projector so his real face becomes visible, leans over to the patient. and says: "BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"

And then walks away leaving the patient a wrecked shell of a man.

That was so funny I nearly cried lauging.

I love deadpool.

Originally posted by Nataku8188
I love deadpool.

Man...if you're not reading Cable and DP something is wrong with you. It's my favorite read right now. The art and stories are great. Issue 18 added some more classic DP quotes.

Haha Baby Cable thinking DP is his dad.

"Dedpoo?"

"Yeah, kid. Deadpoo"

"Dada"

"Who can keep track? I'm like an NBA player that way..."




"Hey...anyone else here smell poop or is my axe effect failing me?"



And a joke that only comic book fans will get and it should be a classic.

"I am not going back to any more alternate worlds!"
"I mean, Days of Future Past was a classic and all, but it's really all been done to death now..." --Deadpool lol as Forge, Siryn, Cable, and Sam sitting in the next panel with astonished looks on their faces.

Originally posted by 8bitChris
And a joke that only comic book fans will get and it should be a classic.

"I am not going back to any more alternate worlds!"
"I mean, Days of Future Past was a classic and all, but it's really all been done to death now..." --Deadpool lol as Forge, Siryn, Cable, and Sam sitting in the next panel with astonished looks on their faces.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I forgot that Deadpool is the only character that knows he's in a comic.

yup deadpool tearing the fourth wall down one brick at a time

One brick at a time? Last I knew he was ramming it with his Manly-scooter!

LOL

Deadpool is totally the most awesomest funniest comic character....ever..

Deadpool: Cannonballs!

Cannonball: it's Cannon-- never mind

...Take that Captain America!

many quotes and scans over here:

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=380685&perpage=20&highlight=&pagenumber=1

DP- Be a man George or Dick who served there country when the call came! His name is Dick, That's funny.

There are some brilliant lines from Deadpools first LS...

~ Jugg-head-naut? Who's that, someone who works for the Archies?

~ I mean, I've seen GI Joes tougher than you. Before they shrunk the poor guy down. I'm talking original, life like hair, kung fu grip Joe. Come to think of it, I've seen Ken dolls tougher than you... I let Barbie whup me coz I'm a wuss Ken...

I'll fix them up and post some more when I get home and find the comics...

Mr Immortal - "Youre not even a mutant"
DP- "Yes I am"
Mr Immortal "and your not an X-man"
DP " Oh and you have the card set or something"
Mr Immortal- " UHH no"
Dp " Do you have the cardset"
Mr Immortal " Not on me , I just have it for flipping"
DP " I'd like to flip shadowcat". "She's a ripe...
Doorman "Shut your pie hole"

Sabertooth "Scream for me"
DP " Okay how about this ,OMG FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT KILL ME PLEASSSE"
Sabertooth " Quiet"
DP "I can say it with a girly tone if you want"

This deserves a bump or six.

SHORYUKEN!!

Deadpool has some funny lines in Marvel Ultimate Alliance.

(Flirting with Black Widow in a bad French accent)
Ah, how I have missed you, mon petit chapeau. Let us run away and live a carefree life somewhere exotic... like Pittsburg.

(Upon levelling up)
Now I'M better at whatever it is Wolverine does!

(Talking to Jarvis)
Hello, good citizen! I'm CAPTAIN AMERICA! You don't have to salute if you don't want to.
(Jarvis doesn't believe him)
All righty then, I'm THOR! You might want to kneel in my presence... I am the God of Thunder, you know!

(Talking with his buddy Weasel)
Weasel: You stabbed me in the leg!
Deadpool: I had to! You were trying to eat the last cheesy puff!
Weasel: It was MY bag of cheesy puffs!


It's even better when you hear it. If you have the game, try having Deadpool talk to the Ancient One in the magic mirror at Dr. Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum.

Oh, if you're quoting 'Pool from Ultimate Alliance, let's not forget the Helicarrier early in the game where he charges a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent for rescuing him from his bunk. I don't recall the entire conversation, but everything the agent said took the price up another hundred, and ended with this line:

Deadpool: "Alright, but if I die, my price goes to to a thousand!!"

And then this one if he gets low on Health:

Deadpool: "I need help! And a pony!"

"Just repeat after me - There is a man in a room, with a typewriter..."

"Ah, those yellow boxes are back! What fun we shall have together!"

Bullseye: "Deadpool, Deadpool, Deadpool... How long has it been?"
Deadpool: "Issue sixteen, Greece... What's up, Bullseye?"


And the 4th wall gets thinner.

DP "Third of all. Do not interrupt while I'm going good with an indian chick.....that's hotter than the one kirk bagged on star trek."

Wades delicious thought on the second biggest threat to mankind.

DP "DIE YOU &*^%&*& CLOWNS! You deserve nothing less than a blood-spurting, hanky-hiding-up-your-sleeve-big-footed ass-kicking. How DARE you bring joy and laughter to the smiling faces of children everywhere. Purveyors of hope and all that is pure in the world, DIE DIE DIE!!

Only DP would find Clowns and Squirrel Girl as ultimate threats...

From Deadpool fanfilm
Deadpool "Webhead! I'm digging the black threads!"
Spiderman "Um.. thanks, I thought it was appropriate"
Deadpool "I've got a PERFECT nickname for you. THE DARK KNIGHT. Wait that's terrible..."

Some patient talks to Deadpool who is disguised as a doctor.
Patient - "Doctor, I think I'm feeling better. I can tell the difference between reality and illusions."
Deadpool - "Reality is overrated." turns his holographic projector off "OOGAH BOOGAH!!!"

"When I was a kid, I had a whole buncha G.I. Joes--and I'm talkin' original plastic-hair ones, not the fuzzy-hair kung-fu grip guys--or those little pansy tiny ones with the funny names and the cartoon--a CARTOON? Plastic-hair Joe would roll over in his grave--uhm...if he COULD roll over...I sort of pulled his arms 'n legs off...then blew him up with an M-80--before I buried him in a shoe box with my hamster, Jolly Nuts...uhm...better not to ask...man, that M-80 blew Joe up but good..."

long Deadpool quote but when I read the Jolly Nuts for some reason i burst out laughing. Cable and Deadpool #24 if your wondering.

Originally posted by Tron
Hmmmm, no one else with other quotes?
I heard himm say once on Marvel:UA... This makes me wan't to do my happy dance. another is... I'm the best at whatever wolverine does. has anyone got new jokes i can tell my frinds (deadpool jokes) I have the issue what in this march just gone it's a wolverine & deadpool comic. wait ill try and find it also i have also the first spiderman part in a hulk comic the first comic but pages are missing and crumpled I also have the first ever spiderman weekly comic ever made mint condition and JSA strage adventures issue no.1 the reprint

Deadpool to Wolverine: Your one liners are cornier than my poop after country fair.

Deadpool: Yes I have a gun in my pants, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you!

Wade Wilson/deadpool in X-men Origins: Wolverine- Great, stuck in an elevator with 6 guys on a high protein diet.

And- Yes sir. You look nice today. It's the green, it brings out the seriousness in your eyes.
Wolverine- Oh God, do you ever shut up pal?
Deadpool- No... Not when I'm awake

And (to Victor Creed)- Sure, swords probably aren't as intimidating as guns or bone claws or having the fingernails of a bag lady.
(Victor extends claws, Wade brings out sword) Deadpool- Manicure? :P

From Marvel Ultimate alliance 2 when you talk to the Stan Lee character

Deadpool: Yeah don't I know you?
Stan: I don't think so. You don't look like the voting type.

Its actually pretty funny in the game.