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A young girl on a years training course in South Africa recently received a "Dear John" letter from her boyfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Mary,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, John


Mary, with hurt feelings, asked her colleagues for any snapshots
they could spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles,cousins etc. In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures of the pretty lads she had collected from her buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope....along with this note:


Dear John,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back
to me.

Take Care, Mary


droolio you go sistah!

that's awsome.

what a loser that guy is, he's probably from my town

Hahaha!!! That's great!!!!

omfg...

thats fan-fukkin-tastic droolio shweeeeet!

that kinda hurts

She went to more trouble than he did purely to be spiteful.

What the guy did was wrong and cowardly but he was honest.

She just came off looking bitter and silly.

-AC

hahaha


females AC, females

hysterical

I know Furry, aint it the way?

-AC

BRILLIANT

i have to give her props for doing that

edit

Are you still thinking of revenge schemes for your ex?

EXCUSE ME?

Im getting tons of ideas This has been the funniest one yet!

But yeah, im on the job detective

All suggestions welcome flirt1

Still remember all the ones Kim and I came up with that one night? flirt1 some of those were classic

i wonder if ull get any suggestions from any of the guys here

edit

Thank GOD the girls I date can't read or write.

edit

im still laughing , it was funny

If my ex did that to me. I'd call her and just gutlaugh. Not even a forced gutlaugh, a genuine one.

-AC

edit

hence the thread is funny so let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

edit

I can red your posts just fine.

I don't always understand all the words, but, meh...

are u 2 arguing

Please leave my thread if you're gonna be an ass it was meant to be a humorous thread.

Thank you. No further discussions please, or i go crazy mod on your ass

that made me laugh to

maybe i need to sleep

edit

And everyone play nice.

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES come on LETS CELEBRATE NOW

I thought...*sniff* that...we had something...

All arguing eliminated

Dont make me edit another post please. Thank you.

*looks at sig*

schmoll

I'm not posting shit in your thread, Jesus. Why are you so jumpy over me replying? I posted a civil comment and you went nuts.

Chill out.

-AC

I edited all the arguing, including my post! So just leave it at that, can you do that?!

Good, that's all was needed. Now we can just talk in a civil way with no arguing.

Why don't we bury the hatchet over a machine coffee and discuss the humour of the letter/photo scam together, as buddies.

-AC

i was just thinking of another that Alex and i were laughing about...its funny

ill have to get it , but not sure if it will be appreciated here

shellie everything u post is appreciated

droolio which reminds me, imma get some coffee.

By the time i get around do doing any scam, i lose interest. Woohoo for my attention span rock

Look again dahling.

flirt1 Thats betta!

*runs away from Syren*

Hahahaha, too funny. Some of the stuff I say.

Thanks for quoting me, Mooseport.

-AC

moose, i thought we had something special

Since when is arguing not allowed?

Anyways, that's all well and good on her part, though there are far more women breaking up with men in a manner similar to the one described in the opening post. Hundreds of soldiers who are over seas in the war have gotten those types of letters from their ex's for the same reason the guy sent the girl the letter in this thread. Not only that, then most of the guy have to pay vaginamony when they come home if they were married to the whore.

As Tom Leykis says "The bitches should be shot for treason". Same goes for anyone who breaks up with someone while they're overseas in a war or in some way trying to help humanity.

Meh, no need to run any longer Milla my dear.

If I like it, I quote it.

And I see you quoted me too?

shockish Im listening!!

Oh well gee, everyone has something special with moose. I feel...left out.

well if you think so



A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few drinks.
While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar --a salt shaker, --a shot of Baileys --and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.


He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK.

He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.

He thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it...


in one second the sharp lime taste hits...
at two seconds the Baileys curdles...
at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.

This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says,







"So, how did you like it? It's called 'Blow Job's Revenge.'


still makes me laugh

Yeah it is a good one ; Only that i dont remember the girl in south africa. I know it as the marine stationed in Iraq

laugh1 ahahahahaha!!

I guessed that was coming as soon as i heard curdled salty baileys lol

shellie dear, that just hurts

Its a joke - they shift and change slightly as they are told, so what?

But are you hearing?

No one has to run from Syren any longer.

Simple.

I've never met that sauce before in my life, I swear.

now im rolling

*stands on chair, in girly high pitched voice* YOU B!TCH*

You killed her

I didn't do anything, you can't prove it...I was with Saucy the whole time...

Oh damn...I just said I didn't know him...umm...yeah...

whoa ; excuse me

Excused. flirt1

That makes so little sense cry

*deep dark James earl jones voice*
HEY MOOSE I DONT GO DOWN THAT WAY

Yes, I don't.

May I have another biscuit?

Am I the only one who feels like Moose is being BEYOND cryptic?

-AC

please, for the sake of my sexuality, please please edit that post!

laugh1 for the sake of my sexuality laugh1

It's the title of my autobiography.

Moose: Beyond Cryptic.

Yeah yeah, funny, laugh and stuff...but people are wondering why a sauce, pretending to be Darth Vader is telling me that he doesn't go down that way.

THINK OF HOW IT MAKES ME LOOK MAN!

hey u were the one yesterday that said ur day was complete with a luke skywalker compliment

True.

But I DIDN'T say I liked people thinking that I like Sith lords going down on me in ANY way.

lol thats not wat i was trying to say

do u have some going down issues we need to talk about moose

Think I know a second love "revenge" joke also...


When his girlfriend move to a different city to earn a degree in University, the guy worried that he might lose her to another man. So he began constantly sending her emails, phoning her, and writing her letters.

Her answers became more blunt over time as this progressed, and even more worried, the guy sent even more correspondence to his girlfriend. What he didn't know was that she had already hooked up with someone else, and persisted in trying to find out what was going on.
Finally, the girl had enough. She took a Polaroid picture of herself doing the unmentionable with her new boyfriend, and sent it to the poor guy back home. Enclosed was a letter, in big bold letters wrote:

I got a new boyfriend, now leave me alone and stay the f--- away from us!

The sad guy was of course heartbroken, but more than that he was very, very pissed.

He angrily took the nude photo, and enclosed it in a letter to the girl's parents, which simply stated in big bold letters:

Dear mom and dad, University is great! I'm really fitting in here. Please send me more money!

thats like the libby hoeller story

Yeah, it doesn't happen enough.

dont look at me then

Oh for God's sake...

hey its okay, i get animals checkin me out sometimes, not that i like it but whatever builds your self esteem right

I literally haev no response for that....try as I might.

That's pretty cool actually.

hysterical go b!tchiness power droolio

that chick rocks! pimp

Nice one lil b!

rock it

8/10

Fark me Milla! droolio