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im your landlord deano!
what can i get ya?
pint of beer perhaps?
we have carlsberg, budweiser, fosters..we have more
drinks on the house!

i'll have 2 bottles of binky, a bottle of plop and 3 sods pls mate......so...women ay........brilliant arn't they

women dont understand that beer is a metaphor for life itself
the beer mat is like the squidgy ground beneath our feet
the pint glass is like the clothing around our body
and the beer itself is like the body with its lovely little foamy little hair
and the peanuts...........there just peanuts really

What about guinness for the paddy!

oh lets get outta our heads and get drunk cos we're young and we dont give a shit!

i'll have a red wine please

exactly mate...i mean it's vital that you should choose the right local for your own individual needs...i mean....a healthy diet for a bloke consists of beer...and women can't seem to grasp that simple concept

*passes over pint of guiness*

*hands over wine*
service with a smile

white wine please

i mean is that all woman think us blokes talk about is football booze and birds(women)
hows ya pint?

yeah brilliant, cheers. and i totally agree....... see the football last nite? rubbish

wine only got red im afraid

yeah definetly
seeing ya girlfriend tonight?

yeah mate, smashin'...and urs?

Who wants feckin wine when y'ev got Guinness! Give her one on me Deano!

I couldn't see mine tonight.

yeah we'll be havin a candle lit dinner
see we both bring our strengths to the relationship

will do.....beer is that way to go

I met frank Bruno last night at a boxing competition!

so her strength seems to be cooking what's yours?

His is pulling Pints.

i'll have a pint of lager please

my strength is enjoying the food she cooks..see
both livin together in perfect harmony

aint he locked up in a padded cell?

lol

drunk

He came out of his mental institue ages ago! He done the laugh for me!!!

we are sailing! we are saailing! on the floooooor..outsiiide the pubdrunk

I know I'm a girl an everything, but could I have a pint of Guinness please?

do u sell hard liquor

i would of punched his head in!
then run offboxing

Any heavy drinking paddy's here?

a pint of beer?! so thats two halves a girl way..but in the same glass?

we sure do

He's 6ft 4" mate. I shook his hand and it was the size of my head! He's funny. A woman just jumped on his lap when there were people boxing!

I had a proper conversation with him! He's massive though.

yieger please

YES in the same glass, I do drink pints ya-kno.

You sexist twot.

I think we should ban wine! It's to posh sirs and lady's.

*hands over yieger* whateva that is

euro

i like that in a woman

and theres no one posh allowed in my pub!
lol

Are we giving hints Dean? naughty

someone put a song on the juke box
comon lets party!

im a hot blooded male!
u know what its like!

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrm...........Let's put on............























































































Whatever you want!

we're not doing karaoke are we

Great idea!

I'm not singing!

well i ay bought in all the equipment for nothin!

listening? I've just come in for a quiet drink on a Friday night and we have karaoke!..........sod it were young and we don't give a shit...oh sorry sorry

kharhmah is volunteering to start us then. clap

Do I sense poshness, snobiness. SIR!

Most ppl don't like a big nose but i think it makes up for a rather dull face...

So, am I getting my Guinness or not?

sorry madam.*hands over guiness* here ya go

Oh dear god!!!

guest-animations_06
whos on kareoke next?

my turn

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman






You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

I thank thee barkeep.

*chugs pint*

dont go gettin drunk now!
its not right for a lady to be staggering about all over the place
i'll be keepin my eye on youblinkeye

Good night fella's. I'll be bright in the morning Deano so hav my guinness ready.

goodnight ....no driving home now...dont wanna be done for drink drivin
take care son

Dont worry, I can handle my booze.

the night's young! c'mon free ya mind, were young pissed and we don't give a shit

booze

lol..yeah comon..the night is still young..its only 15

Bed? Beds are for sleepy people! Let's get a kebab and go to a disco!

Wooo!

time gentleman please!!
havent you all got home osexuals to go to!!?

No.

Plus, I'm not a gentleman!

i know lol
just messin around i was

"pint of the black stuff please barman"

"you cant drink a pint of bovril!!"

Thats alright then guv.

jeez look at the time..i better be getting home...

want any crisps to go with that
im doin a thing called lager miles..its similar to air miles
every packet of crisps you buy..u getter a quarter of a inch of lager

tasty bar snacks? freshly prepared on the premises

got a couple of cold sods to go with that??

*Hands over cold sods*

its not as good as binky but its better than that russian one..what was that called?

....emmm....Plop

*puts some music on*
banyey

Another pint of Guinness over here please deano! beer

slow down! you sure are drinkin those pints fast!
cheershere ya go..cheers

Yes I do usually drink fast... *chugs second pint*

right then! if u could take 5 people to a desert island..who would u take?!

When there's always biscuits in the tin...where's the fun in biscuits.

well 1st on my list would be...kylie

Hmm.... All the dudes from Good Charlotte.

2 soldiers that got my back. And three hot babes. One of the ladies would be a trained nurse in case of anyone getting ill.

kylie obviously

The other two ladies would be my mistreses.

id like that nurse to be britney spears..or christina

I think I'm going to have to go home now, I'm craving vindaloos... eat

then...i'd take...4 other women prolly yeah...

Actually the nurse will be Christina Millian. The other two will be Vanessa Williams and Tyra Banks.

dont go home yet..have another guiness
i think im gonna have some chinese food later!

good choices

Pizza and beer go well together. Its a college snack what can I say.

so women ay...they're been given too many of their own bloody programmes, bloody lerraine, bloody riki bloody lake, bloody trisha, bloody vanessa, BLOODY ESTER!.....and they all talk a load a' bollox...u've only gotto be in ur house to ear women talk a load of bollox....i mean...ya don't want that on the box do ya...

I have to, my cat said I have to be home by 10:30!

I'll try to come in for a Guinness tomorrow though!

Bye guys, cya tomorrow!bye

cya.

mmmmmmmm beer and pizza..im gettin hungry now

cya 2moro...u crazy drunk chick

ya cor beat jerry though...good ol jerry springer..and he's british! lol

oh ya can't wack o'l jerry....hey it always goes off on jerry's show doesn't it! hey u remember that 1 time, a bloody great big black women came on with her husband....well it turns out...that SHE...had a bigger pair of bollox than him lol, well....u've spent all that money on the weddin'...ya might aswell grin and bloody bare it lol you know what i mean dean.

i do jim

last orders anyone?

postman pat postman pat..postman pat and his....err little red..vaaaaaan...CAAT...little red caaaaaaat

its okay buddy, take a deep breadth pal, relate, release, relax

we've all been havin beer and wine..can i offer you a glass of urine

oh Graham....Hello GraHAM...

ok top 5 womens arses that have appeared on tv the past 5 years..what have we got?!

i've got to hand it to you mate...i don't know how you do it..

hilary swank

number 1: kylie minogue..obviously

Kylie.........kylie obviously
michaela strachen....
george's niece......only 19, got a fantastic arse!

i think we should go and talk somewhere a bit more neutral

postman pat and his black and white cat

...Switzerland??

the pub i was thinkin

oh ok rite, i'll get my coat

WEEEEEEEERRRREEEEEEE! GOING DOWN THE PUB!

danny divito..not just a fat short arse

dolly parton....not just a big pair of ****

will we be gettin a plate of sandwiches?

do you think sandwiches are important??

God, I just need a beer. Will somebody please serve me a cold beer please?

sure..about time we got a new customer..place has gone dead
..enjoy

does that make u angry?

Thanks bud!

cheers

does that make YOU angry?

why do u say angry?

were your parents angry?

WERE YOURS!?

Can I have a can of Victoria Bitter? *blinks innocently*

are u 18 or over?

Hell no I think I'll be leaving now...

well the rules are that anyone under 18 have to provide a false ID
im sorry

False ID? Why didn't you say so? *hands dean false ID*

thats fine......here is your victoria bitter *hands it over*

Ahhh yes... *drinks*

enjoy it

I am...

pub now closed* untll 2moro
nighty night everyone