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It's not even my Army, it our Army! I'll even split my salary with you. Word! ANd stuff.

oooh can i be in...i wanna be down!

*signs up for TH's army*

*fluffs up flaming red afro, tugs up steel thigh boots and straightens chain mail corset*

Right, where's the Battle Field at?

And the Soldiers!!!

I'm lazy, out of shape, and I hate violence. Can I still join?

Mmm, Gregory, what do you look like in a Uniform?

Incredibly dashing, of course.

Army! Sounds professional

i'll join teh army

i wanna be in the army

I'll join, but I'll just stand by the side looking pretty
Nothing more.....

*Cocks his gun*

I'm a general right hiker ?

you have the A.B.C.N.T.F. at your command!

Can I join? I have a sword...
*draws sword*

*puts on leather jacket, tight jeans and black boots then takes out rifles*

I'm ready...........

I can sue a Katana, So who are we fighting? I'll join if you tell.

Yes! CA can use a katana, Pabs you get to be a General, VENOMfan, what is A.B.C.N.T.F again, I forgot? Shadowskill, you and your sword are in! Gregory, even though you are lazy, out of shape, and hate violence, you can still join. The rest of you are in and the cause? Well, I haven't really thought of that yet. Okay, since Silvs and syren and freddy vs jason are going to dress all sexy on the battle field, I guess we can fight against . . .. .um . . . .. Tommy Hilfiger!

Our goal is to wipe out any Tommy Hilfiger wearing no fashion sense monkey humpers!

Let's see, I need an elite squad of people who are willing to take a bullit for their cause. These people will do anything to make sure that Tommy Hilfiger is wiped off the face of the Earth. This Special Task Force (STF) will include the following members:

The Force
Korri
Alias Neo

And the Special Spider Monkey Attack Unit (SSMAU) will include the following members:

Nazgulinthedark
Spearhead

Okay . ... . .GO!

.......is the A.B.C.N.T.F.((meaning my anti bacon commando ninja task force)) unneccacary? are there no other monopolistic compenies we could smite in the great name of Tired Hiker?!

A.B.C.N.T.F.!!

Anti bacon

Why are ninja's anti-bacon though?

OMG, that's the best! I totally remember now. Yeah, they are in for sure, and who eat's bacon?? Well I do, but most Tommy Hilfiger generic clothed carnivors do as well. Bacon and Hilfiger! I'm like totally ripping off another thread, arent I. Man, too much rum.

Well its hard to say, a almost epic tale....

you see one night I was enjoying a pepsi much like most nights, I left to go heat up a burrito witch is the staple of my diet. when i returned....my pepsi was gone....and I smelled a hint of bacon, I sent out my Ninja homies to find the evil that had so rudely seperated me from my beloved pepsi.

When one of my ninja homies returned he told me with Q-cards((ninjas do not speak...ever)) about how he tracked a bunch of tourists who were realy a team of higly skilled bacon commandos who had been hording all the pepsi from my little hometown. and it seemed I was there next target. so I gatherd all of the ninjas i could and founded the A.B.C.N.T.F. and vowed to never give up in my quest of stopping those bacon loving tourist bastards.

And if Tommy Hilfigure stands between us and our Pepsi than he shall be thusly Snuffed out.

OMFG!!


Thats so brilliant!!! I love it! lmfao!! hahahaha!!


''to find the evil that had so rudely seperated me from my beloved pepsi''

hahah!

OK, that was by far THE best ''epic tale'' ever told!

I.........I have a confession, I use to be part of A.B.C.N.T.F............ But I know where there hide out is, but I warn all of you, there skills are ledgiondary, they move in darkness and are as quiet as shadows.............how do you know there there? you don't, they mainly travel by roof-tops, they move like then wind........our only hope of stoping them is........um....well, you see........I don't really know

I give you the A.B.C.N.T.F.

Nuf ninja's!

*Cocks Deagle*
Do I get to shoot ppl if I join?

army good can i be in army or am i to late

Get in here, Steely balls! Check this out, you get to be the lion tamer.
And we get to call you Whisky, since you are Wisconsin represent! Aaaaaaaaight? Basically you have five killer lions that don't take poo from anything, and you control them.

So Am I a Cleaner or something?

Whats my role?

sir yes sir private ryan reporting for duty MAY I SUGGEST me being the armies drunken pothead.

So, mine, Sil's and F v J's roles are that of the SADNALS? ((Standing Around Doing Nothing And Looking Sexy) Cool........

*stands still, hips slightly to one side, and begins to roll a reefer*

Yes, I can do that, Head of the SADNALS Team here.......

*notices Ryan*

Hey baby, smoke?

SANDALS

Hey, Milla, it would be S A N D A L S if it were "Standing Around NOTHING DOING And Looking Sexy"....... shall we change it to that?

I dont know, if you like...its just made me laugh, because it reminded me of sandals, because of ''standing arround looking sexy'' bit...kind of seemed like it should be there

thats pretty good thou...the SADNALS


I wanna join as well

You are in babe.....

Yey! Excellent!!

Wicked, so now we gotta go out and buy all our sexy Army gear...... I'm so gonna go Jordan, all Camo Mini Skirt and Tie Tank Top.....

oh no you aint *snap snap*

EDIT!

Sorry I thought we were talking about Ryan as in ''boogie''/Paul Walker/Calfornia Ryan

your kickasskicking

Okay, I'm gonna try to join. If I get in, I wanna be the dude who gets her arse kicked by Shadowskill by saying "Forth, Eorlingas!"

Nah, I won't kick yer arse... hard

Well, I'll just hafta get out the "Heavy Artillery!"

NO!!!!! Not the Heavy Artillery!!! Anything but that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHH! TOO LATE!!!
Beth did it. Q stood by and laughed.
Since nobody's online, we'll sign her up as well...

Wow, who's that new sexy woman who just joined the Sandals??

SADNALS

Okay, so everyone who wants can join as long as you realize our coz. No Tommy Hilfiger!!!thumbs_up

Oh yeah, the Sadnals!

I wear Hilfiger

My crush wears Tommy Hilfiger... Stupid expensive clothes! Kick arse!!!

Okay, we have a problem. Suggestions anyone?

Silver, we're gonna burn all your clothes, 'kay?

I think it's the only way. I mean, we can't get rid of her. She's a Sadnal and all . . .

My clothes cost more than some people's cars
*strips to bikini and hides clothes*

We need a designer to make some new clothes for Silver, any suggestions?

I'll just go buy myself a whole new wardrobe

Okay, but please hurry! The Hilfiger Clones could arrive out of nowhere at any moment! Take the diamond studed pink fuzzy helicopter!

*takes Silvs old clothes and throws them into a fiery casm like Mordor!*

not the jeans jawdrop you are dead to me hiker

*jumps into pink heli*

Yes, the Hilfiger jeans are gone now, Silvs. Go buy yourself some real jeans.

Down with Hilfiger!!!

I'm joining the SADNALS...

The SADNALS are a force to be reckoned with! I sense their commitment to their duties is strong.

Hilfiger will never know...
Maybe we should just wage war on his house?

EEE! Watch out for the Hilfiger bunnies! They keep hopping and hopping and hopping... straight into Hell.

Hmmmm. The Hilfiger bunnies speak in a pitch that can easily be detected by our radars. They are a giveaway to the Hilfiger. Don't tell him thou!

The stench of the Hilfiger cologne draws near...
Who could it be now but the guy undie models!
The stink is overpowering!
*unsheaths sword*

hey the A.B.C.N.T.F. will go apesh1t on said bunnies if it is our dudty, the wrath we shall inflict on those fuzzy devils will be the stuff paper back novels that cost $2.50 are made of

Perfect. I think the enemy is in store for a serious ABCNTF makeover. We just have to wait and see what their first move is.

*is Queen of the SADNALS*

We need more ladies willing to stand around in non-Hilfiger clothing, looking sexy as hell!!

And doing nothing.

In bikinis........ preferably.........

*Stands Around Doing Nothing And Looking Sexy...... in non-Hilfiger clothing...... as in Job Description*

can I be in the army?

I don't like the idea of barracks. There should be one cubicle to each recruit.

Do you need anything done that involves fire?

Of course. Just know the rules. I mean the rule. No Tommy Hilfiger.

As part of our Army, you have the options to live in our co-ed barracks, females only barracks, males only barracks, etc..

However, if you don't like the barracks options, then go live in the private cabins, that's what I do! They have hot tubs. It's really the way to go during your term here.

The great thing about the Army, Spearhead, is that the Army enables you, the pyro, to go out and find things that need to be burned. You may want to set up a controlled burn in areas of the base where there are unexploded ordinance. That way, not only do you get to light stuff on fire, but you get to see shit blow up as well. See how the Army works? It's really up to you and what you make of it.

*comes back in heli wearing guess jeans*

That's what I'm talking about, Silvs. Damn they look good! We salvaged your old Tommy Hilfiger jeans and made pot holders out of them!

*sneaks around the back of the Heli landing pad, wearing TH*

...Syren, aren't you supposed to be the leader of the SADNALS?

I'll go co-ed TH! More guys...
So... Hilfiger potholders... and Tommy Hilfiger has the same initials as TiredHiker. Does that not freak you out?
So, eh, I'm going to retrieve my blades.

Hmm...that's kinda odd...

ahahaha, yes!! And they told me to join the navy

any task's the A.B.C.N.T.F. lately? we have thusly taken out the hilfigure rabbits and turned them into stylish coaster's those things didnt stand a chance..........wait this things were in hiding at pet stores right? disguized as regular rabbits?


uh oh................ahem.....well take care of the real rabbits now.....

The SADNALS are back!!

Yes!

With new Tommy Outfits

Very interesting observation. I never thought of that. Maybe this will play a vital part of our existance in the near future, but for now, listen up!

A large number of life forms is heading our way via some sort of new vehicle that our radars can't make out. I would like to send the A.B.C.N.T.F out to scout the situation. If the threat needs urgent attention, you may use any force necessary to stop the enemy, i.e. The Tommy Hilfigger Posse. Remember, haul ass . . . safety last!

Get rid of the Tommy Outfits please. Or at least alter them so severely that one would never know they were of the Hilffiger persuasion.

I think I know who the Tommy recruits are! They're my classmates, riding in school buses! (They all wore Tommy at Disney World last week.)
Kill Owen! No, don't do that! Kill Shea! Shea A., not Shea T.
Ah, who gives a f***. They're all the same, aren't they?
*flings daggers randomly*

We must bomb the bus!

Why bomb it? Can we just secretively take over it's communication system and wreck it over a cliuff? I wouldn't waste the bombs until Tommy himself pops out of George W.'s behind...

*strips off and burns Tommy outfit whilst dancing naked around the fire*

Genius plan, my friend!

Much better!

*looks down at nipples*

Um........

*shivers*

*strips and gives syren my clothes* Nothing breaks my heart more than to see a naked woman in the cold.

Liar, breaks your heart??

Are you gay???

Or am I...... shock horror...... unattractive??

cry

fyou Liv.......

*cries*

cryawwww hug


I was just kiddin around babe

youre flaming hot drool

We have never seen your piccy Syren! Post a piccy of you , please.

I just hate seeing hot women suffer from frostbite is all.

I have pics!!!

I hadn't had photos of me taken in like, three years, estranged from family etc , but I got some done at Easter

I just need to get them uploaded onto my Computer, then you will have your pics

syren you forgive me? down

I the best pilot on this here sight... i'd be proud to waist some bandits for the hiker side.

Sweet! You are the leader of our new Air Strike Force! Each battle jet is equiped with Tommy Hilfiger Seeking Missles and a chocolate milkshake machine!

cry

Of course I do sugar!!!

C'mere..........

hug

i'd like to join the army sir

correction...me and my army of hoes would like to join your army sir pimp

funny how ur hoes need to be animate to be considered human or usuable in your army.

hey don't mess with them, they've got heels on and it'll hurt when there trampling over you lifeless body

hug

hoes are good intelligence agents KGB trained them specially

Well, I have always harboured dreams of world domination. What better place to start then on the internet. Tired Hiker, your army intrigues me. Please, go on.

*practices strafing airfield8
anyone want to join the airwing of this here establishment?

Woohoo, Airstrikes!
Let us go and destroy!

Any targets captian Tired Hiker Sir?!

*drops bomb on dummy tanks*

*Stands back, proudly, while puffing on a cigar*

i spit on this pathetic army...p tooh!!!

*Joins Smith from 50,000ft in a light*

Tired Hiker, may I be a general? General Smith.

I like the sound of that.

*Runs in Combat simulations*

"Bang bang, Oiieeee! Ka-boom!"

*is sitting beside camp fire going over recent battle statistics*

*is trying to concentrate*

Boys, I'm going to have to whip all your @sses if you don't quieten down.

You want to win this War???

Whips and chains are exciting.

Hello, Miss Syren. How are you today?

Le bon jour mon ami.

Je me sens bon, et vous?

Shit, sorry, I'm in French Mode

make me some damn french fries.

Okay

Merci beaucoup, Mlle.

I apologize for calling you Miss. I am unaware of you marital status

French is wiad. English is easier. Especially for a hard-working Naz on the job.

French

I can speak French:

Fromage = Cheese

Lance, is that Tommy Hilfiger undies you're wearing??

* Strikes a pose in his boxers *

No their Hanes.

Oh. Nice. Do another pose. Just don't rip your boxers. Those are cute little Spongebobs.

NO!! I don't have Spongebob undies yet...but I can go change into my Scooby Doo boxers for ya ladies.

Oh, I like Scooby.

Um, where's the Tommy recruits? This silence scares me. Especially in here alone with some other guy I don't even know!

* Silence...crickets chirp *

So, err...how's the love life with Ness?

* Still standing in boxers only *

*crickets dying*

Oh, Lance, how nice of you to ask.

*kicks dirt*

Uh... it's okay. Pull up your pants before the crickets attack.

Yeah, that would suck.

Pulls his pants back up and puts the shirt on over his big belly.

I'm willing to bet your belly isn't as large as mine!

I bet it is.