Hiker's Love And Life Advice Thread! (wisdom at it's best)

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The Tired Hiker
Seriously, I'm a very experienced person when it comes to life and love. If you have any problems, just ask me and I'll try to respond if I can with some very helpful advice that will improve your life! smile

Demarthl
seems no one wants an insight into improving the life and love no expression

Imaginary
Dem, judging by your title you do... and I don't mind posting after you erm

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
seems no one wants an insight into improving the life and love no expression

This thread was just started. I'm sure everyone is focussing on what questions to ask me. It is rare that I come forward in such a serious and wise manner to help mankind. They will come. smile

Imaginary
Everyone at my school thinks my friend is suicidal, and it's pissing her off. Should I kill them?

Demarthl
i was about to give some advice but it'd be stomping over T-mans thread erm

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Imaginary
Everyone at my school thinks my friend is suicidal, and it's pissing her off. Should I kill them?

What you should do is fake her suicide. Right after the bell rings, she should be laying in the main quad with fake blood all over her wrists and neck, that'll show them! smile

Imaginary
Advice is advice...

Demarthl
if you have decent teachers let em in oin it to help you sneak about school shifty

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
i was about to give some advice but it'd be stomping over T-mans thread erm My advice is the best advice! yes

Demarthl
my advicewoulda been tell her to seep off of their reactions, engross the fear they have for her and use it against them, i had the same situation and i tell ya, it clears a path in the hallways ^^

Imaginary
They're not afraid for her, they only care because it's something to talk about.

The Tired Hiker
No, nothing breaks the ice or creates new friendships better than a fake suicide. Trust me on this one. Okay, who's next??? smile

Demarthl
i used to self harm and had a knife in my blazer, but no one knew that (shhh!) as i have really weak skin on my arms i was able to make myself bleed with a ridiculous amount of blunt items like plastic rulers, im not saying do self harm. but i did that a couple times in front of people and they soon left me alone

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
i used to self harm and had a knife in my blazer, but no one knew that (shhh!) as i have really weak skin on my arms i was able to make myself bleed with a ridiculous amount of blunt items like plastic rulers, im not saying do self harm. but i did that a couple times in front of people and they soon left me alone

You should never really hurt yourself on purpose. Remember, you are number one. Treat yourself right! I said fake the suicide, FAKE IT! smile

Demarthl
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
You should never really hurt yourself on purpose. Remember, you are number one. Treat yourself right! I said fake the suicide, FAKE IT! smile
laughing aye, but dies it count as fakin it as it only broke enough klayers of skin to bring blood to the surface , i have an unnaturaly high pain thresshold and didnt actually hurt myself?

Imaginary
Hurting is bad! nono

Demarthl
it didnt hurt no expression

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
laughing aye, but dies it count as fakin it as it only broke enough klayers of skin to bring blood to the surface , i have an unnaturaly high pain thresshold and didnt actually hurt myself?

RULE NUMBER ONE: DON'T EVER HURT YOURSELF ON PURPOSE!!!!mad

Always use fake blood and make-up effects when faking suicide. You don't want people to be afraid of you, you want them to laugh with you, and what better way than faking death! big grin

Imaginary
Well...blah!

Demarthl
no expression yeay another thing i cant do right

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
it didnt hurt no expression

Though you may not feel it, you are still damaging your body. Remember, your body is your temple and you should keep it in prime form. Always used red Kool-Aid, or costume blood to make a fake suicide come to life! smile

Imaginary
Dem, you don't act like a girl.

Demarthl
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Though you may not feel it, you are still damaging your body. Remember, your body is your temple and you should keep it in prime form. Always used red Kool-Aid, or costume blood to make a fake suicide come to life! smile
moving rubs two parts of your skin together slowly wearing it away, bones crunch together on daily movements, breaking them down
i have to be like stephen hawkings to stay perfect, but then i'd get weak and obese. theres no winning in life

Imaginary
"slowly wearing it away" Exactly! You got plenty of time left.

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
moving rubs two parts of your skin together slowly wearing it away, bones crunch together on daily movements, breaking them down
i have to be like stephen hawkings to stay perfect, but then i'd get weak and obese. theres no winning in life

Dems, *sighs* okay. I can't help you. erm You are not willing to try the fake blood thing and now you are talking about Stephen Hawkings, I give up. Anyone else? smile

Demarthl
not so sure about that

Demarthl
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Dems, *sighs* okay. I can't help you. erm You are not willing to try the fake blood thing and now you are talking about Stephen Hawkings, I give up. Anyone else? smile
at least im unique happy how many depressed teenagers refer steohen hawkings... say lots and ill slap you

Imaginary
laughing Most teenagers that are "depressed" are just attention whores.

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
at least im unique happy how many depressed teenagers refer steohen hawkings... say lots and ill slap you

Good, by pretending to abandon you, I triggered you to think positive! See, I can really help! smile And yes, you are very smart and interesting and you have much to offer the world. Just remember, you will always have you, so be good to yourself and feck what anyone else thinks if they don't respect you. wink

Demarthl
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Good, by pretending to abandon you, I triggered you to think positive! See, I can really help! smile And yes, you are very smart and interesting and you have much to offer the world. Just remember, you will always have you, so be good to yourself and feck what anyone else thinks if they don't respect you. wink
but but! my hand just isnt pleasing any more erm

Imaginary
I'm sure you can find someone to screw...

Demarthl
no

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Demarthl
but but! my hand just isnt pleasing any more erm

Switch hands then, or use someone elses! smile You see, if there is a will, there is a way for everything. Okay kids, I'm off to go walk the streets and save mankind! I will return with more advice and wisdom when I get back, if you are lucky! smile

smoker4
Question!

Im trying to get it on with a rather attractive lady but she is being a bit nonchalont about it all, should i try a fake suicide? what method would you suggest?

Imaginary
Originally posted by Demarthl
no

there are a few billion people in the world... half of them are female... it can't be that hard.

Demarthl
3 billion women are not in my traveling ability area

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by smoker4
Question!

Im trying to get it on with a rather attractive lady but she is being a bit nonchalont about it all, should i try a fake suicide? what method would you suggest?
Smoker4, you are wise beyond your years! Fake that suicide, bro! yes A fake suicide can solve about 97% of the world's problems! smile

XIA
TH, I took an at home mongolian corse and i was thinking about going back to mongolia and living there once I can speak it fluently, what you think?

The Tired Hiker
Okay kids, I'm going to go see a movie called Steamboy by the guy who did that Akira thingie. I will soak in the knowledge and share it with you when i get back. Remember, stay true to you and fake a suicide. Eat an apple! smile

Imaginary
Originally posted by smoker4
Question!

Im trying to get it on with a rather attractive lady but she is being a bit nonchalont about it all, should i try a fake suicide? what method would you suggest?

She's a b**** yes

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by XIA
TH, I took an at home mongolian corse and i was thinking about going back to mongolia and living there once I can speak it fluently, what you think?

Fake a suicide! No, but seriously, I'll get back to you on this one later. I really have to go now. Sorry. sad smile

smoker4
I was also thinking of training her dog to fake its own death too, do you know if there is any literature on this? happy

Imaginary
Leave the lady's dog alone, smoke wink

smoker4
wink angel

Imaginary
On second thought, KILL IT!

The Tired Hiker
gODDamnit I forgot my wallet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mad FFFFEEEEEEECK What the f**k?

SlipknoT
hey

Imaginary
What the f**k?

bilb
I already faked my suicide & noone noticed.. What now? laughing

silver_tears
I thought the title said Hitler's embarrasment my bad!

bilb
Now THAT would be something huh?

silver_tears
I concur laughing out loud

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by bilb
I already faked my suicide & noone noticed.. What now? laughing Kimmeh!! If you die, I die too!!

emp

bilb
Dont worry, I'm taking you ALL down with me! Mwhahahahahhaa!!

Imaginary
cry I don't want the cool lady to die.

bilb
Dont worry Imag, it wont be till at least May 20th (have to see ROTS before I die!)

Imaginary
Of course..

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by bilb
Dont worry, I'm taking you ALL down with me! Mwhahahahahhaa!! laugh1

Clovie
how to get a guy love me?

BakaXero
whats the best way to get rid of depression?

Imaginary
Clovie: Be yourself and if they don't like that, they're idiots. Just keep looking.

Baka: Do something to let out all your anger and sadness. Accept the fact that something's wrong and then do your best to get rid of it. And don't do that "think positive" crap.

Clovie
i got into that by myslef..and they're idiots aparently sad

misha
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Seriously, I'm a very experienced person when it comes to life and love. If you have any problems, just ask me and I'll try to respond if I can with some very helpful advice that will improve your life! smile

TH i was wondering ... what should i do with my life ... i mean when i leave school and have finished partying ... seriously what should i do? whats a good job? im totally clueless on what to do/be cry dontgetit

ragesRemorse
How do you obtain will power?

Fionnuala
what is the question...i know the answers 42 but what is the question?

misha
what is 40 plus 2 eek!

Fionnuala
hmm maybe...it's the meaning of life though

misha
the meaning of life is 42? confused

BakaXero
is that your age?

Fionnuala
"Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" i hope i'm right now

..no my age is 17

BakaXero
then i dont get what you mean

Fionnuala
okay...nobody get's it..i'm going to be quiet now embarrasment

BakaXero
well if youi explained it maybe i will understand it...
thats a big maybe though

Korri
cry i dont like it

hodoggy
Some guy I kissed gave me oral herpes....what do I do?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by XIA
TH, I took an at home mongolian corse and i was thinking about going back to mongolia and living there once I can speak it fluently, what you think?

I think that is a great idea. When travelling to a foreign land, it always helps to be able to speak the native tongue in order to communicate better! smile

TTH: Hello, you eyes

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Clovie
how to get a guy love me?

Just be yourself, Cloves. I love ya! See, it works! happy love

Meh, screw it. I don't feel like doing this right now erm

I have a question, how can I make my life happier? erm

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by [email protected]
Meh, screw it. I don't feel like doing this right now erm

[email protected] . . . . . . . . winkiss

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by [email protected]
I have a question, how can I make my life happier? erm

For one thing, you can build things out of wood! Today I built a coffee table for my future apartment. I went to the Home Depot store and bought all the ingedients and designed my own coffee table. Today I actually build it and it turned out great! It has made my life happier and better. So, I suggest you build things out of wood. smile

weep

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by BakaXero
whats the best way to get rid of depression?

Build things out of wood, or fake a suicide. wink

Ou Be Low hoo
Originally posted by [email protected]
I have a question, how can I make my life happier?

Spend some time in the ocean, on a mountain or in a big open space...

hodoggy
Some guy I kissed gave me oral herpes....what do I do?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by misha
TH i was wondering ... what should i do with my life ... i mean when i leave school and have finished partying ... seriously what should i do? whats a good job? im totally clueless on what to do/be cry dontgetit

Make sure you have as much fun as possible now, so you don't regret missing out on life when you get older. I have a feeling you won't have that problem. wink There is plenty of time for you to plan your future, Misha. You are young and it is not critical that you figure it all out right away, but just make sure you know what you enjoy in life, what makes you happy, what are the things you enjoy doing? If there is work out there where you can incorporate the things you enjoy into it, what better way to make a living then by getting paid to do what you enjoy. I suggest building things out of wood. smile

Echuu
laughing
great thread TTH

and thanks for talking about the coffe table, ive been thinking about building one myself

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Spend some time in the ocean, on a mountain or in a big open space...

No, those ideas are useless and lame. Get your own wisdom thread! stick out tongue

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by hodoggy
Some guy I kissed gave me oral herpes....what do I do?

Ride it out. Make sure you take care of the herpes and rid of them properly, avoiding any further infection. Then, plot a fake suicide and make the person think their herpes killed you. That will teach them to think twice before they spread their nastiness. erm

BakaXero
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Build things out of wood, or fake a suicide. wink
i dont have any wood...
and
fake suicides are depressing. no expression

Ou Be Low hoo
Well, mr Tired Hiker...It seems to me like you are the one copying me! I was first with the 'Ask Ou Be' thread...so there! Nuh-nuhh-ne-nuhh-nuhh...

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Echuu
laughing
great thread TTH

and thanks for talking about the coffe table, ive been thinking about building one myself

I recommend using wood screws that are not too thick, that will split the wood. Also, a corded power drill is far more effective than a cordless! big grin

hodoggy
Thanks Tired Hiker.....

hodoggy
Instead of a fake suicide can I plan a fake revenge plot?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Well, mr Tired Hiker...It seems to me like you are the one copying me! I was first with the 'Ask Ou Be' thread...so there! Nuh-nuhh-ne-nuhh-nuhh...

Actually, I've started threads like this far before you ever came here, but I never felt the need to bring that up, for every thread is duplicated at some point or another. smile

Echuu
ha thanks for the advice-

really great man- i needed a good laugh today- thanks

Ou Be Low hoo
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Actually, I've started threads like this far before

Aha! So this is a duplicate thread! I'm gonna go tell on you...

BakaXero
so the answer to life would be fake suicide?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by hodoggy
Thanks Tired Hiker.....
No problem, champ! wink
Originally posted by hodoggy
Instead of a fake suicide can I plan a fake revenge plot?
Sure, as long as the body count resulting from the plot remains zero. You don't want to spend the rest of your life in jail, or solitary confinement for that matter. smile

hodoggy
do you have any ideas?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Aha! So this is a duplicate thread! I'm gonna go tell on you... fear































roll eyes (sarcastic)

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by BakaXero
so the answer to life would be fake suicide?
Yes, indeed. Oh, and you are my hero by the way! smile

hodoggy
I REALLY NEED HELP!!! Just a "fake" revenge plot.....Can you help me wise Tired Hiker?

BakaXero
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Yes, indeed. Oh, and you are my hero by the way! smile
THATS NOT FAIR!!!!!!
YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO SAY THAT!!!
cause your my hero, because you opened a thread to give advice to help other people only a true hero would do such a thing

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by hodoggy
I REALLY NEED HELP!!! Just a "fake" revenge plot.....Can you help me wise Tired Hiker?

My staff of highly skilled writers will have to be beckoned for this one. Stand by. smile

*goes to attic and sounds the alarm and spot light to summon highly skilled team of writers*

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by hodoggy
Instead of a fake suicide can I plan a fake revenge plot?

Dont take this as an idea for revenge but - once I planned to anonymously call the police and tell them that my ex was a drug dealer.

Echuu
laughing out loud

Darth Revan
Hiker, I need help desperately. I have suddenly lost all artistic, musical, and otherwise creative inspiration. I feel like an aging male prostitute who doesn't have the money for viagra. Or perhaps one of those South American guys who smuggles drugs across the border by swallowing platic bags containing the substance who's found out that I'm allergic to whatever Ziploc bags are made of. sad

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Dont take this as an idea for revenge but - once I planned to anonymously call the police and tell them that my ex was a drug dealer.

Ok, also, I stuck my ex's ex toothbrush down the toilet and once I gave out my ex's mobile phone number to a gay chatroom.

But thats it...

BakaXero
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Dont take this as an idea for revenge but - once I planned to anonymously call the police and tell them that my ex was a drug dealer.
i was about to do something like that...
but not for the same reasons you may have had

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by hodoggy
I REALLY NEED HELP!!! Just a "fake" revenge plot.....Can you help me wise Tired Hiker?

Here's what you do, according my team. Drop several droplets of Visine into this person's beverage. Visine is a laxative and bartenders use this trick when they encounter assh0les at their bar. A while later, they will get the shits! smile

Darth Revan
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
once I gave out my ex's mobile phone number to a gay chatroom.

hysterical

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by BakaXero
i was about to do something like that...
but not for the same reasons you may have had

Oh, here's another one . . . take this person's toothbrush and dip in the toilet, then put it back where it was without rinsing it off. shifty

Darth Revan
*ahem* miffed

Originally posted by Darth Revan
Hiker, I need help desperately. I have suddenly lost all artistic, musical, and otherwise creative inspiration. I feel like an aging male prostitute who doesn't have the money for viagra. Or perhaps one of those South American guys who smuggles drugs across the border by swallowing platic bags containing the substance who's found out that I'm allergic to whatever Ziploc bags are made of. sad

hodoggy
THANKS EVERYONE!.......

You guys are the best! Gonna go buy some visine now! oh...and make a phone call to the police and give a phone number out to a gay chat room!

The Tired Hiker
Oh, i was late there. erm

BakaXero
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Oh, here's another one . . . take this person's toothbrush and dip in the toilet, then put it back where it was without rinsing it off. shifty
sick05

BakaXero
Originally posted by hodoggy
THANKS EVERYONE!.......

You guys are the best! Gonna go buy some visine now! oh...and make a phone call to the police and give a phone number out to a gay chat room!
Lil b's influence is quite effective...

Darth Revan
I can't believe what a ripoff this thread was. I pay good money to get advice and I don't get any. miffed

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by BakaXero
Lil b's influence is quite effective... And I have so many more that I havent tested yet!! droolio

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Hiker, I need help desperately. I have suddenly lost all artistic, musical, and otherwise creative inspiration. I feel like an aging male prostitute who doesn't have the money for viagra. Or perhaps one of those South American guys who smuggles drugs across the border by swallowing platic bags containing the substance who's found out that I'm allergic to whatever Ziploc bags are made of. sad

Here's what you do. Build something out of wood, then destroy it! That should help. Also, rub poo on your elbow for good luck! smile (really, the poo is to distract the sniffer dogs when they are searching you for smuggling drugs) Also, keep a raw piece of steak with you at all times! smile

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Darth Revan
I can't believe what a ripoff this thread was. I pay good money to get advice and I don't get any. miffed

Hey now, don't be a Hiker Hater. smile

Darth Revan
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Here's what you do. Build something out of wood, then destroy it! That should help. Also, rub poo on your elbow for good luck! smile (really, the poo is to distract the sniffer dogs when they are searching you for smuggling drugs) Also, keep a raw piece of steak with you at all times! smile

Alright, the famous The Tired Hiker actually talked to me eek!

Thanks for the advice Hiker, I'll like totally send some free crack! Happy Dance

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Alright, the famous The Tired Hiker actually talked to me eek!

Thanks for the advice Hiker, I'll like totally send some free crack! Happy Dance

Hey man, you stuck up for me when times were tough back in the day. wink I'm glad I can help, and I'll take that crack anyday, as long as it is Anna Beatrizes butt crack. love

Ou Be Low hoo
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Dont take this as an idea for revenge but - once I planned to anonymously call the police and tell them that my ex was a drug dealer.



Did you ever happen to boil one his pets too? How about cutting off his legs and leaving a horse's head in his bed?

Ou Be Low hoo
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Dont take this as an idea for revenge but - once I planned to anonymously call the police and tell them that my ex was a drug dealer.



Did you ever happen to boil one his pets too? How about cutting off his legs and leaving a horse's head in his bed?

I feel scared...

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Did you ever happen to boil one his pets too? How about cutting off his legs and leaving a horse's head in his bed?

I feel scared...

Nope, I havent but you betta stop there - you're giving me ideas...

lil bitchiness
Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
Did you ever happen to boil one his pets too? How about cutting off his legs and leaving a horse's head in his bed?

I feel scared...

Oh, but when we're talking about cutting off bits, it makes me think about tying him up and cutting up his penis into small peaces then force feeding it to him and then...

Now look what you've done!

BakaXero
whats with the double posts wacko

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Oh, but when we're talking about cutting off bits, it makes me think about tying him up and cutting up his penis into small peaces then force feeding it to him and then...

Now look what you've done! Wowzers! eek!

BakaXero
I need advice...
I told this Guy he was my hero and he told me i was his hero and i told him it was impossible because he was my hero.
How do i tell him that his my hero and make him understand?

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by BakaXero
I need advice...
I told this Guy he was my hero and he told me i was his hero and i told him it was impossible because he was my hero.
How do i tell him that his my hero and make him understand?

Okay, here's what you do. Sometimes in life, you get these people who think they aren't the hero, but really they are. Sounds like your friend is one of these people. So, basically you do some soul searching, you know. . . . go on a hike, paint by numbers, Twister, ... .. then you realize that you really are the hero, and the rest is all an illusion. So, I suggest you admit to this person that you are the hero. smile

BakaXero
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Okay, here's what you do. Sometimes in life, you get these people who think they aren't the hero, but really they are. Sounds like your friend is one of these people. So, basically you do some soul searching, you know. . . . go on a hike, paint by numbers, Twister, ... .. then you realize that you really are the hero, and the rest is all an illusion. So, I suggest you admit to this person that you are the hero. smile
no thats no good...
i've done all those things, and to me his still the hero

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by BakaXero
no thats no good...
i've done all those things, and to me his still the hero

No. no expression

BakaXero
wacko

The Tired Hiker
laughing

Corran
I have a bubble wrap fetish, is there any advice you can bestow upon me in order that I may rid myself of this embarrassing fetish?

Korri
Dada i need some advice sad

smoker4
TH , i am stuck at a certain weight in bench pressing, what tips can you give me?

Clovie
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Just be yourself, Cloves. I love ya! See, it works! happy love but you're special touched

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Corran
I have a bubble wrap fetish, is there any advice you can bestow upon me in order that I may rid myself of this embarrassing fetish?

Pop all the bubble wrap until there is no more left, then you will be forced to quit! wink

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by Korri
Dada i need some advice sad

Try harder to be more lady-like and get yourself a good man. wink

The Tired Hiker
Originally posted by smoker4
TH , i am stuck at a certain weight in bench pressing, what tips can you give me?

Add a few more pounds, nothing too heavy, just maybe a 2/12 to each side of the bar. Start small and keep at it, that's all for now folks! cool

shellie
Ive been anxiously waiting for a certain event in April to come...times been flying by fast which Im thankful for. How do I slow it down once it gets here so this event seems to last longer then what it really is? erm

smoker4
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Add a few more pounds, nothing too heavy, just maybe a 2/12 to each side of the bar. Start small and keep at it, that's all for now folks! cool

Wow it workedhttp://images.killermovies.com/forums/moresmilies/flex.gif
didnt even have to fake a suicide wink

Korri
Originally posted by The Tired Hiker
Try harder to be more lady-like and get yourself a good man. wink

droolio already done

Mighty Yoda
how can i ask a girl out then?

Korri
Say what? flirt1

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