Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

hello to all! im in a long distance relationship and i love this man so much that i can do everything for him and i know he loves me back too. but i just wanna ask you guys if its okay that i let my bf talk to his ex gf in the ym at anytime he wants or if its ok that i tell him that he must stop talking to his ex gf. thanks a lot for the help.

This is the Welcome Forum, topics like yours go either in the GDF or the OTF so it will get moved over there.

Have you talked with you bf how you' re feeling about him talking to his ex?

you really can't let him talk to her or not, you know? If he wants to, he'll do it, if not, he won't.

just think he is now your boyfriend, and if he chose to be with you is 'cause he's not interested in his ex anymore

oh! and moving to GDF....

Originally posted by smilenshark
hello to all! im in a long distance relationship and i love this man so much that i can do everything for him and i know he loves me back too. but i just wanna ask you guys if its okay that i let my bf talk to his ex gf in the ym at anytime he wants or if its ok that i tell him that he must stop talking to his ex gf. thanks a lot for the help.

of course it's ok to let him talk to her!
however if either of them make a move on each other its best to get him away from her fast

except if he makes a move on her i suggest you leave him

NO

I would imagine it all depends on what they're discussing. If they still talk out of love, then it is unfiar to the second person involved. If they are simply staying in touch with each other, then it would pose a problem for any relationship with which he gets involved.

err... if he wants to be with you.. why would he still want to talk to her? that makes no sense.. just sounds like bad news to me

Originally posted by SaTsuJiN
that makes no sense.. just sounds like bad news to me

not at all.

I got a friend, hes like 45 or something, and he is still best friends with like 8 of his ex girlfriends.

i think thats the way to be, why all this "got to hate the ex" business, its total crap. If i ever break up with my current girlfriend, ill always talk to her as a friend.

You dont 'gotta hate em' but Im saying its better to move on with your life than to dwell and chit-chat with ex's

thats fair enough, thats your opinion.

You can still move on with your life, just keep them as friends. just like the occasional email or phonecall, that sorta thing. Just like you do with your buddies.

I guess its just down to how the person feels, i feel to be a minority in this view though. Due to what ive been told and past experiences.

Originally posted by ChickinMeat
not at all.

I got a friend, hes like 45 or something, and he is still best friends with like 8 of his ex girlfriends.

i think thats the way to be, why all this "got to hate the ex" business, its total crap. If i ever break up with my current girlfriend, ill always talk to her as a friend.


How old are you?

This is what EVERYONE thinks the first time. "Oh, I love her so much, no matter what I always want her in my life." (A year later)

"Oh....she slept with 3 of my best friends, at the same time, and told them I like to drink my own urine after sex and other things I told her in confidence......yeah, I'll be friends with her."

Doesn't happen often, man. And if it does happen, it's generally more difficult, because more then likely one person will still have feelings for the other.

and just think... soon youll be doing exciting things together.. like going clothes shopping for her current squeeze..

if you trust him, why not?

Originally posted by BackFire
How old are you?

This is what EVERYONE thinks the first time. "Oh, I love her so much, no matter what I always want her in my life." (A year later)

"Oh....she slept with 3 of my best friends, at the same time, and told them I like to drink my own urine after sex and other things I told her in confidence......yeah, I'll be friends with her."

Doesn't happen often, man. And if it does happen, it's generally more difficult, because more then likely one person will still have feelings for the other.

my appolgies for having a different opinion to you. im guessing thats not allowed?

im just stating a fact that me being friends with someones who IS still friends with 8 of his ex's, saying it can be done. saying it doesnt have to be hate.

my appologies again.

Put the word trust in there...If you trust him enough, then sure, let them still talk..just don't let them get too close.
If he really likes you, then he won't get close to her.
But if you were to tell him to stop talking to her, and you sound demanding about it, then chances are high that he would leave you for her.
Just trust him enough to only talk to her as friends.

yes, you don't want to be a possessive wally now, do you?

I think it's fine for people to talk to their exes. I know plenty of people who have stayed good friends with an ex, it can be awkward at first but that goes away after a while.

Originally posted by SaTsuJiN
err... if he wants to be with you.. why would he still want to talk to her? that makes no sense.. just sounds like bad news to me

im still friends with all of my ex's

at least im not the only one who thinks this way, was beggining to think i was an odd one out.

i guess it just depends on the people - when i say to a guy "i just want to be friends" ... i really mean it
we always end up hugging and stuff ... oftern the guy is there for me when im upset touched (after we break up im talking about)

rofl

just good friends
1.Used when a girl breaks up with a man. Means she wants everything in the relationship (the talking, the feelings, the emotions), but the guy doesn't get the sex.
2. Used by one guy to describe a relationship with a girl. This means he was rejected and didn't get any play.



1. I think we should just be good friends. Means: I want you to be in a relationship with me, but I will be having sexx with other guys and not you.
2. SHe and I are just good freinds. Meeans: I made a pass at her, but I got rejected.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=just+good+friends

such a good site.. /sigh

I would say no.I mean not to sound controling.But talking to his ex is not really a good idea.and if it brothers you I would talk to him about it.JM

^ sound advice from Jackie. clap

The guy is going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you tell him to do or not to do. But I think it is important from your standpoint to tell him that you aren't very comfortable with him talking to her. Atleast then the ball is in his court and not yours.

You're in a long distance relationship with a guy that talks to his ex-girlfriend regularly. (or wants to)

Step back and analyze that sentence...


I'm not a Vegas bookie...but lets just say I'd bet the farm that he's cheating on you.

Originally posted by ChickinMeat
my appolgies for having a different opinion to you. im guessing thats not allowed?

im just stating a fact that me being friends with someones who IS still friends with 8 of his ex's, saying it can be done. saying it doesnt have to be hate.

my appologies again.


Your friends is a major exception. about 95% of the time it doesn't happen.

something like this happened on a reality show call college hill on BET, the guy was livin in a house with his ex gf. even though he hated her he got drunk and had sex with her.

don't let this happen to U

Originally posted by BackFire
Your friends is a major exception. about 95% of the time it doesn't happen.

yeah probably dude, i just wish it was more often, hence what im going to try my hardest to achieve.

and sats, that urban dictionary site is well good.

The problem with long distance is, you will never know what he's doing.

Not to put a damper on but he could be out sleeping with his ex and you wouldn't even know.

-AC

hello to all of you,im very thankful for your reply and advices and now i have some idea on what to do so my mind is clear now.hugggssss to all...this site is coolllllllllll!!

It made me uncomfortable when my ex bf did that when were going out , but i guess its up to u.

Originally posted by smilenshark
hello to all! im in a long distance relationship .........

NO.

That's how far I had to read to come up with that.

Who wants to bet she stays with him....while he continues calling his ex?

I'll give you 5 to 1 odds...

Originally posted by Linkalicious
Who wants to bet she stays with him....while he continues calling his ex?

I'll give you 5 to 1 odds...

/signed

Originally posted by smilenshark
hello to all! im in a long distance relationship and i love this man so much that i can do everything for him and i know he loves me back too. but i just wanna ask you guys if its okay that i let my bf talk to his ex gf in the ym at anytime he wants or if its ok that i tell him that he must stop talking to his ex gf. thanks a lot for the help.

im in a long distance relationship also. for 1 and half years now, im one end of the country hes in the other and we fully trust eachother. he hasent been with other women and i other men so i guess in that respect i cant feel the same way on it. but if he did have an ex and wanted to talk to her, i would go with him, or arrange to have lunch with her and see whats shes like, talk about how she feels still ya'know? if she decides to come that is, that means shes kinda willing to be friends with you and may not want to be anything mroe than that to him. but if she didnt come i would know instantly, she envyed me or hated me for some reason for him being with me.

i would say really, you would have to talk to him about it, tell him your not comfortable with the idea and you want reassurance you can trust him and that she doesnt have any intentions. mention you want to meet her, be her friend also so that way you can all be friends together and blah blah it will seem nicer from his point of view.

i take it the gf is living near him not you so really you wanna just keep your contact to him more frequent. its when the 'oh sorry i was at the gym' when he doesnt go to the gym kinda talk starts getting said you gotta take notice lol. but if that happens do ask if hes recently joined up how much it costs and where so you can reasurch if true

but really, if you both love eachother as much as you say, you should be able to trust eachother, hes with you for a reason and not her o.O, talk with him, lack of communication is the most frequent break up problem or reasons for fights and such. i know ive been there -.-

also dont do what i did, think everything he says 'might be' a lie or hes not telling the truth. belive him and if you cant talk to him and get the problem out and solve it. jsut talk, its the best problem solver. so is hugs!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v510/AnImE_ChAoS2/sigs%20and%20avatars/chaossig.jpg

Originally posted by smilenshark
hello to all! im in a long distance relationship and i love this man so much that i can do everything for him and i know he loves me back too. but i just wanna ask you guys if its okay that i let my bf talk to his ex gf in the ym at anytime he wants or if its ok that i tell him that he must stop talking to his ex gf. thanks a lot for the help.
HELL NO......if he talks to her, eventually they will rekindle the flame.