drunk_nazgul
Anyone want me to write another story? I have several ideas. There is one that Shadowskill and I need help with. It's centered in the future of Earth, and a bunch of people time-traveled into a new era. There are freaky new creatures everywhere. Here's an excerpt of what I've written. Tell me of any problems you have with it.
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Later, the group stopped by a river for a rest. Kojak and Bethany took a little walk by the water to talk about the recent turn of events. Bethany sat on a huge blue boulder and popped her neck.
"God, I knew today would be the perfect day to stay home and clean my room..." she announced. A chuckle came from the encampment. Jessica obviously thought that Bethany wasn't kidding.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Kojak whispered suddenly. Beth stood and followed his gaze to the river. There, a long brown shadow was smoothly making its way upstream.
"That's the biggest fish I have ever seen." Beth called to Natalie. "Hey, Nel, come have a look!"
Kojak immediately covered her mouth with his big weathered hand. His blue eyes were peeking out at the water fearfully.
"It's a dragon," he said quietly. "It's making its way back to land."
Beth started hyperventilating, and soon Natalie arrived to the scene. She, too, had a frightened appearance.
"Holy s***..." she breathed. "They're real... But this isn't our past, it's our future..."
Kojak smiled in realization, but his face was still experiencing a blown-away look. Bethany's eyes rolled and she fell to the ground, limp. Nel took a few more steps upstream before Kojak yanked her back.
"You don't know how many more there could be."
"I don't care how many exist, I just care HOW they exist!"'
Kojak took a deep breath and picked Beth up, carrying her toward camp. "Dragons didn't have to be in our past. Just because they were explained into our myths and legends doesn't mean that we were accurate. Maybe prehistoric psychics saw them in our future and we just... misinterpreted the paintings and sculptures."
Jessica helped him to carry Beth into a tent, and Nel turned back toward the river. "Holy s***..."
---
Later, the group stopped by a river for a rest. Kojak and Bethany took a little walk by the water to talk about the recent turn of events. Bethany sat on a huge blue boulder and popped her neck.
"God, I knew today would be the perfect day to stay home and clean my room..." she announced. A chuckle came from the encampment. Jessica obviously thought that Bethany wasn't kidding.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Kojak whispered suddenly. Beth stood and followed his gaze to the river. There, a long brown shadow was smoothly making its way upstream.
"That's the biggest fish I have ever seen." Beth called to Natalie. "Hey, Nel, come have a look!"
Kojak immediately covered her mouth with his big weathered hand. His blue eyes were peeking out at the water fearfully.
"It's a dragon," he said quietly. "It's making its way back to land."
Beth started hyperventilating, and soon Natalie arrived to the scene. She, too, had a frightened appearance.
"Holy s***..." she breathed. "They're real... But this isn't our past, it's our future..."
Kojak smiled in realization, but his face was still experiencing a blown-away look. Bethany's eyes rolled and she fell to the ground, limp. Nel took a few more steps upstream before Kojak yanked her back.
"You don't know how many more there could be."
"I don't care how many exist, I just care HOW they exist!"'
Kojak took a deep breath and picked Beth up, carrying her toward camp. "Dragons didn't have to be in our past. Just because they were explained into our myths and legends doesn't mean that we were accurate. Maybe prehistoric psychics saw them in our future and we just... misinterpreted the paintings and sculptures."
Jessica helped him to carry Beth into a tent, and Nel turned back toward the river. "Holy s***..."
