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U know your a redneck when you go to family reunions to score some tail,

when you sitting in your homeroom and your mom is in the same class,

you family tree doesnt have any branches,

when you go out to buy a gift for you sister, and your girlfriend and you only buy one gift

when you have lost at least 2 teeth by trying to open a beer bottle

when you go out to get drunk you ask for the jug labled XXX instead of MGD


kinda funny heard those today in science

hehe I've heard some good ones too...

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

Your favorite fruit is chicken.

You've ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick.

You think the nutcracker is somethin you did off the high dive.

all your golf balls come in egg cartons.

U use the phrase "over yander" More then twice in a month

the best one is the one about ur family tree doesnt have any branches

glad im not redneck

rednecks are awsome

they are funny

i saw one playing b-ball today lol it was funny he had boots on and everything

... if you are constantly having to erase your sister's name of bathroom walls

thats funny!

...If you're constantly having to replace your plumbing when the cardboard starts to leak

Rednecks kick ass! I saw one at a lake fishing and he said "dang Pa I cought one of dem big fishes". That was like 5 years ago and I still remember it.

Argh! Tex!

Ok here's some i got out of our phonebook.
You Might be a redneck if:

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You measure distance in minutes.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, beer, and jell-o salad w/ marshmallows.
You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled w/ snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city talks w/ an accent.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for cattle prices and sports.
You think the opening day of elk season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees below zero "just a little chilly."
You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
You have at least one truck in your driveway that is still covered w/ mud from the week-end races.
You wash your car and water the lawn in the rain/
You actually understand these jokes and send them to your friends and family.

Oh maybe we could add another one You might be a redneck if you get redneck jokes out of the local phonebook.