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Raven Guardia's Northern Thread

i am the second in command
the dark mistress

allies of the north meet here

How about we become equals RV and we both lead the north

oooh!
but you're so much better at lead ing than me!
but if you want to!
partners!

yes we can be partners and learn from each other. we can be the Dark Mistresses of the North

*rides to the Northern Fortress, and waits outside for a guard to notice me*

come you may enter BW

*stumbles in*

wtf is this place?

who are you?

*falls asleep*

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
come you may enter BW *gates open, and rides in. Gets off Sunflash, and walks with my pike, wearing steel armor with a steel dragon shaped helmet*

BW, at your service

Originally posted by Beast_Within
*gates open, and rides in. Gets off Sunflash, and walks with my pike, wearing steel armor with a steel dragon shaped helmet*

BW, at your service


bye-bye

Mist are you joining us?
*helps mist walk to big comfortable bed*

bye BW

yes, Mist would you like to join the North?

oooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love your new sig RG!!

hmm.....now what are the benefits.....i mean, lance had dental plans.....so what do you offer?

Thanks

Oooo can I join too???

yes, you may

benifits?

*turns to RG*
we need to talk about that...

*still talking to RG*
how bout medicare?

yes, I suppose we do.

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
yes, you may


Oooo yay! Thanks!!

Originally posted by raenef v
*still talking to RG*
how bout medicare?

how about.....free everything and no pay. we will cover the food,supplies,hosuing medicare etc. we can steal supplies, we have magic for medicare. it maybe not cost us harldy a cent.

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
how about.....free everything and no pay. we will cover the food,supplies,hosuing medicare etc. we can steal supplies, we have magic for medicare. it maybe not cost us harldy a cent.
great idea!

Mist did you hear what we're offering for benifits?

maybe we should practice our magic

oh i like this...im staying

Originally posted by Mist
oh i like this...im staying

excellent!

*points at mist hot chocolate appears and floats toward mist*

or would you prefer another beverage?

Ooo I like this too!

want something to drink?

hey RV, can you float me a hot coco over?

*points at RG*
*Large silver goblet of hot chocolate and marshmellows appears in RG's hands*
i'm more powerful in this realm...
that's why i can do moer stuff!

ill stay in bed and watch stuff happen...

Ooo can I have a hot cocoa too?

thanks RV *begins to drink* yes, I have noticed your advancement in powers.

time to pick positions
RG is more experienced
can you help out RG?

Originally posted by Coldfire
Ooo can I have a hot cocoa too?
*points*
*hot cocco appears*

ill be the bedmaster....master of the bed and all its covers...

okay, well BW is a great commander and Knight, so maybe he can be commander.....hmmmm what do you think Mist and ColdFire should be?

Originally posted by Mist
ill be the bedmaster....master of the bed and all its covers...

i'll let RG decide...

what are their strengths?

my strength is bed......therefore i am the bedmaster

how bout you come up with strategies while you lie in that big comfy bed?

goodnight everyone!
i must sleep!

Night RV c-ya tomorrow

bye-bye
we talk stratagy tomorrow!

*summons a bed for RV*

*walks around the walls, inspecting the soilders, my dragon head-shaped helmet covering most of my face*

everything seems in order..time for some hot coco with the others..

*walks off to the Great Hall*

hope everyone had a good night!

i have to go somewhere today
*gets on horse Midnight*
if you need anything just think about it real hard and you should recieve it.
*rides west to meet challenger*
*and so the even star went to the gray havens*

*stands ontop of the walls, watching the sun set*

*visiting elves in gray havens*
*playing flute*

*puts on my dragon head-shaped helmet and stares for a long time*

*sneaks into thread*

Suddenly before the northern fortress and BW a massive nexus formed. And out of the nexus came a countless army (literally) and before it all stood the new and improved PoB!!!! He was on a nicely armoured Dragon, while his commander rode on horses. They approached the castle, PoB spoke.

"Come out all yee who call the castle your home. I have come for battle. Give back the life you took from me. To you do I direct RG, you who took my life. Look around, you could have had all this, and you chose to kill me. Well now I have returned and stronger than before. Surrender, and all of this could be yours." *Points to the army*.

"You up there, are you not the petit worrier they call BW?"

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
Suddenly before the northern fortress and BW a massive nexus formed. And out of the nexus came a countless army (literally) and before it all stood the new and improved PoB!!!! He was on a nicely armoured Dragon, while his commander rode on horses. They approached the castle, PoB spoke.

"Come out all yee who call the castle your home. I have come for battle. Give back the life you took from me. To you do I direct RG, you who took my life. Look around, you could have had all this, and you chose to kill me. Well now I have returned and stronger than before. Surrender, and all of this could be yours." *Points to the army*.

"You up there, are you not the petit worrier they call BW?"

you interupted my story!!1
any ways....
i got challeged by the dragon king and beat him....although it was dificult!
all dragons obey me now!!!
*appears on horse next to BW*
so POB your dragon is my loyal servant!
8waves hand and dragon throws POB from saddle and flies to my side*

Originally posted by raenef
you interupted my story!!1
any ways....
i got challeged by the dragon king and beat him....although it was dificult!
all dragons obey me now!!!
*appears on horse next to BW*
so POB your dragon is my loyal servant!
8waves hand and dragon throws POB from saddle and flies to my side*

*lands on feet*Very well then, I never eally like the dragon anyway. *snaps fingers and it dissappears*.

*summons a comfy bed for all of the army, who instantly fall asleep.*

haha! victory is mine!

The East shall destroy the North and South! All hail the Eastern Cheese!

Originally posted by Captain REX
The East shall destroy the North and South! All hail the Eastern Cheese!
so the east has finally arrive!
where is the west ?
and about the dragon POB i hope you did not really mean that!
this is the north!
i have more power here than in the south!!
*snaps fingers*
*balrogs appear*
you do remember these don't you my dear?
*waves hands over dust of dragon*
*dragon egg forms*

Originally posted by raenef
so the east has finally arrive!
where is the west ?
and about the dragon POB i hope you did not really mean that!
this is the north!
i have more power here than in the south!!
*snaps fingers*
*balrogs appear*
you do remember these don't you my dear?
*waves hands over dust of dragon*
*dragon egg forms*

Hehehe, You know, you always were nice to me. Why must we sever such a relationship? I am only here for she who killed me. Give me RG!!!

she not here right now!
i don't know where she is!
she comes and goes as she pleases!

i believe that she acted in such a manner protect RTO whom she is no longer supporting.
where did you go anyways POB couldn't figure that out...

*Suddenly an eagle flies from the sky to my hand with a note...*

O dear, It seems to me we have a common enemy. An enemy of my enemy is my friend. Ally with me, and we shall squash this niuescence together.

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
*Suddenly an eagle flies from the sky to my hand with a note...*

O dear, It seems to me we have a common enemy. An enemy of my enemy is my friend. Ally with me, and we shall squash this niuescence together.

i suppose you are talking about the pesty east my dear POB!

yes they claim that the west is under their control when it is actually mine!
the should be RG servant seeing as she broke the ring of power!

ok, raenef directed me, what are we fightin' about? confused

ha, more like my ring. Thanks to her, I can finally rid myself of the pathetic nuisance that was the Order. The ones that gave me the pics to blow things up are a corrupted police force. But since you destroyed my only means of slavitude I guess I owe you thanks.

Raenef, Balrogs mean nothing to me. I have cheese warriors and orbital bombers.

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
ha, more like my ring. Thanks to her, I can finally rid myself of the pathetic nuisance that was the Order. The ones that gave me the pics to blow things up are a corrupted police force. But since you destroyed my only means of slavitude I guess I owe you thanks. thank RG

we are fight over who is the ruler of the west

what r you good at so that i can assign you a position

well now you stand against both the north and the south!!

I already know who is ruler of the West! He is my brother.

please tell me what we are fighting about!!!!

Stuff. The West knows not. The East and West just decided that Cheese and 50-foot-tall pornstars are better than Dark Lords and Mistresses.

*storms off* nevermind then....i dont' understand this...

Originally posted by TWelling4Ever
please tell me what we are fighting about!!!!

The north and south are fighting against the east and west. Kinda ironic no?

Not really.

I think it is.

Why's it ironic?

Because the sides that fought against each other are now fighting with each other

the west is still mine!!!!
or at least the far west!!!

I must depart.

The Far West is still the West. You rule the North, that's all you can have.

Originally posted by Captain REX
The Far West is still the West. You rule the North, that's all you can have.
ah but you see i'm from the far west!
therefore the far west is mine!
i am the guardian of the two trees!!!

The Far West (if you keep going) is actually the East, which is owned by Commander Rex.

And me, Queen Lana.

far west is actually on outerspace....
look at tolkien's atlas....
i claim outerspace!!!

This is the Compass of St. Raz, not Lord of the Rings.

Originally posted by raenef
far west is actually on outerspace....
look at tolkien's atlas....
i claim outerspace!!!

Outerspace is nothingness...so you just said you Claim Nothing!!! In that case I claim the North!

I condone that message.

Plus, Outer Space isn't on a Compass.

Originally posted by Bespin Bart
Plus, Outer Space isn't on a Compass.

Originally posted by Bespin Bart

outer spzce is the compass!

Originally posted by raenef
outer spzce is the compass!

No, no it isn't.

rubber dickie is the compass.

So...Raz owns Rubber Dickie?

Apparently.

And it's obvious that Raz will side with us of the East, Middle, and West.

Therefore we win by default.

Because he'll blow up everything else with his Godly (Admin) Powers.

*Walks up and thinks to himself, "What the Hell?" Then proceeds to eat ice cream.

*returns* what I have missed RV?

*reads what went on*

No One and I mean NO ONE, will have rule over the North except Raenef V and I. If the West is willing to be our Alli, then we shall be very grateful. If not it will just be another corner of the world to conquer. So either way the Northern Empire shall benefit. Once again the North will prove to be victorious, as they say History repeats its self.

Ha! The West will never ally itself with scum like the North.

The East/West/Middle Alliance will kick all your sorry asses.

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
*puts hands to LW shoulders backing him against a tree* *puts my one hand around his throat and tightens grip* Wanna test that theory? *walks up, and sticks my pike right at his throat*

you wanna say that again?

*since his hands are still free he breaks RG's grib on his neck then has his Scottish Ape commander bring him a cream pie*

Are you hungry? I'm willing to let you eat this if I can smash it into your fast first!

*looks over to KD and smiles* *looks back to LW* your not having much luck are you?

*teleports behind KD and smashes HIM with the pie, then bounces around like a cartoon character*

I bet you didn't know I was a Looney Tune, did you?

( LW, no goofy stuff please )

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
( LW, no goofy stuff please )

I can do what I want, look at the Army for the East/West/Middle Alliance...Cheese, 50 Foot Tall Pornstars, and Scottish Apes.

And all of a sudden you can conjure fire balls, and KD gets to cut my head off without me being able to post a block? This is not a true RPG, if it were he would not be able to cut my head off with one strike, I would get to post my block and then he who rolls highest gets to follow through with yet another new post. Even then I wouldn't die yet because each attack only takes off a small amount of health.

If you want a true RPG go to the RPG forum located near the bottom of the page.

*keeps slashing at LW*

Originally posted by Killer_Dennis
*keeps slashing at LW*

Nice comeback.

BTW, you can't kill a Looney Tune, they are cartoons.

omg this is such a pathetic battle.....a loony tune.

and yes LW my character has magic, she is Dark sorceress

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
omg this is such a pathetic battle.....a loony tune.

and yes LW my character has magic, she is Dark sorceress i know..I mean come on!

Mine is a Warrior and Commander

Originally posted by Killer_Dennis


u can kill a looney toon, just make it run off a cartoon cliff!

Not necessarily, they always have more episodes! They simply get an overly exaggerated bump on the head.

well, then. *picks up a rock and smashes it on LWs head*

Leader Lance's head is blessed with magic cheese. It'll turn the rock to gold and make him rich.

The West allies itself with East and Middle. Go figure, Leader Lance is a long-time friend, Commander Rex is my brother.

All I can say is "Oww!" The bump will go away though and I will still be allive.

Or it'll turn to gold and make you rich.

On a more important note, I bought 'O.K. Computer' by Radiohead.

Originally posted by Bespin Bart
Or it'll turn to gold and make you rich.

I'll opt for that one...gold from my head is good. Maybe from now on I will hit myself in the head with rocks more often.

You should. It's orgasmic.

RADIOHEAD

Originally posted by Bespin Bart
You should. It's orgasmic.

RADIOHEAD

i'm back!

i wish to say that any ally of the North/Soth threads will receive anything and everything they want.

hot women, drinks, big comfy beds, battles, one of my many magical rings!

oh by the way RG..when i defeated the dragon king he coughed up this
*pulls out huge emerald*
i already cleaned it.

Originally posted by raenef
i'm back!

i wish to say that any ally of the North/Soth threads will receive anything and everything they want.

hot women, drinks, big comfy beds, battles, one of my many magical rings!

oh by the way RG..when i defeated the dragon king he coughed up this
*pulls out huge emerald*
i already cleaned it. did u say, hot girls?

Originally posted by Killer_Dennis
did u say, hot girls?
yes
*sighs*
you want one?

Just don't give him me!! shifty

*sleeps*

Hot Girls? Boozes? I'm in!

We most have more people. Bw, since you like to impress the ladies, go get us some men, horse, money, and what ever you can find. Don't come back till you have enough to satisfy both armies.

Originally posted by raenef
yes
*sighs*
you want one? sure..

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
We most have more people. Bw, since you like to impress the ladies, go get us some men, horse, money, and what ever you can find. Don't come back till you have enough to satisfy both armies. I'm the Commander of the whole Army! go get ur ****in horses money and whatever U CAN FIND URSELF!

And to think that RF would keep such a waste of air around. No matter, I have already allied with my enemies so I am in no position to fret.

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
And to think that RF would keep such a waste of air around. No matter, I have already allied with my enemies so I am in no position to fret. just get one of your thieves to do it!

You guys aren't dead yet?

Originally posted by Killer_Dennis
just get one of your thieves to do it!

What do you mean my thieves. I have no thieves but soldiers and assasins, speaking of which....sniper you better duck.

Originally posted by PrinceofBlades
What do you mean my thieves. I have no thieves but soldiers and assasins, speaking of which....sniper you better duck. *ducks*

STOP SHOOTING ME! IM YOUR ALLEY TEAM U BASTARD!

ah,ah,ah watch you language.

And so the alliance of the North and South ends, and the East/West/Middle alliance storms in...

o.o

0.0....

POB is allied with the north because of me
*storms in*
*summons a herd of gorgeous women and booze*
there will be no fighting among allies
sorry i had to leave i a hurry last night cause my mom and dad got made at me for spending so much time online.

*looks at POB*
are we still allies?

He'd better still be allied....

*takes the emerald* Ooooooo its beautiful! thanks RV.

Now was for POB and BW would you stop this fighting. If we are to work together and be successful we must be able to get along. Now POB, I made BW in charge of the Army follow his orders. he doesn't have to listen to you.

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
*takes the emerald* Ooooooo its beautiful! thanks RV.

Now was for POB and BW would you stop this fighting. If we are to work together and be successful we must be able to get along. Now POB, I made BW in charge of the Army follow his orders. he doesn't have to listen to you. *stares angrily at POB through my helmet, my pike hanging on my shoulders*

And one wrong move, and your head will be on this

*grins at BW* yes,...keep POB in his place. but try not to provoke any fights

Originally posted by Raven Guardia
*grins at BW* yes,...keep POB in his place. but try not to provoke any fights POB, im watchin u..

*walks off to my room*

*goes into the map room and begins to chart out the route of battle*

*picks up my dragon armor, gets 2 men to strap on my chestplate, put on my leg armor, arm armor, and shoulder armor. Gets them to strap on my shield, and strap my bow across my back, and hand me my pike. Then puts on my gloves, and boots, and walks off to the Great Hall, my dragon head-shaped helmet covering most of my face, my eyes staring out of the eye sockets on my helmet*