Alternate nursery rhymes

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little franky.

Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.

😂

i've heard a jack and jill one which was pretty good but forgot it *thinks hard*

EDIT: hang on it's coming to me

jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana
jack got high, unzipped his fly,
and said, jill do you wanna,
......

forgot the rest cry

HAHAHAHAHA....Funny!!

I heard

Jack and jill wnet up to hill to have a little fun
Jill forgot to take the pill and now they have a son.

But your one is better 😛

who's, mine or corrans? 😕

Little Mrs Tuffet sat on the (something) her knickers all ripped and torn,
It wasnt the spider that sat down beside her, it was little boy blew with his horn.

😂

Originally posted by misha
who's, mine or corrans? 😕

Corran's

Jack and Jill went up the hill they both had a quarter...
Jill came down with fifty cents to think they just went for water

Originally posted by Kosta
Corran's

✅ i think so to .... partly cause i cant remember all of mine cry 😛

This isn't a rhyme, but you'll understand:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Little Boy Blew
Little Boy Blew who?
Michael Jackson. 😐
mj-rub-a-dub

Nursery rhymes are scary.And awful!I mean the whole rock abye baby is horrible.At teh end of the song the baby falls and dies.JM

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
but she didn't wear that one very often

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Originally posted by Jackie Malfoy
Nursery rhymes are scary.And awful!I mean the whole rock abye baby is horrible.At teh end of the song the baby falls and dies.JM

Once again, did you read the thread? This is about funny nursery rhymes that make fun of the real ones.

😆 these are great.

Hahahahaha.

I got one: Jack and Jill.......

Well....it's a work in progress.

-AC

Hmmm might get told off for this one...

Little miss muffet, played with her tuffet
With a dildo the size of her arm
A long came a ****** whose cock was much bigger
And did her some permanent harm

😐

When I was a little girl
I had a little whim
So I sat upon my bed and slipped a finger in
But now I am full grown girl
And full of all the charm
I can get in all my fingers and half my bloody arm...

Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jills fanny
But he got a shock
And a face full of cock
Cuz Jill was really a tranny

hysterical