Big Evil
You know those third party canidates like Green, Socialist, blahblahblah.. well prepare for a new third party! I'm coming up with ideas for pins and banners and with help I can get it off the ground.
The Satan Party! \m/
\m/
The mian goal of the Satan party is to get into office the pawns of the devil. Even though we are always capable of winning somehow.. (Evil wins because good is dumb.) we would like to exhibit as much evil into our elections and terms as much as humanly possible. Thus far we've been only a secret society pulling the strings of legal officals, but now sense we live in a more apathetic world, we can afford to be open and draw in more members! Here are our stances..
Abortion:
We're against it. *Le-gasp?!* Not really, as cool as baby sacrifices would be, the goverment slaughters millions of unborn babies as a state of union. And sense they're's a seperation of church and state those souls still go to Heaven. THE LIBERAL GOVERMENT IS WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD BABIES!
Immigration:
Despite what Hitler may have had you beleive we're for it. More people to convert to the darkside. You want freedom and oppurunity? It will cost you nothing but your soul bwahahaha!
Affirmative action:
What use does Satan have for minority or majority groups? Throw it away. We're all equal when it comes to being ghouls of the dark!
Gun control:
Satan is neutral about this. Guns make good to kill Christians and make for quick sacrifices, on the other hand those Christians and victims can use them on us. More must be learned of the percentage ration of Satanist to Christian killing numbers inorder to make a unified descision.
The War on Terror:
Tottaly against it! For one terror is something we in the Satan party pride outselves in, second emotion terrorists have done a way better job at making God look bad then we could ever dream of! Oh, excuse me.. "Allah". Yeah, that's it..heheheh..
The War on Drugs:
Against it, you never see demonic faces and heavy metalish entities better then when stoned off your ass.
The national deubt:
Satan gives the U.N. the middle-fingure. We are evil! You should've known better then to loan us money!
School unfiroms:
Girls look especialy nice in uniform. Have it.
Prayer in school:
Have at it. We can weed out the Christians in a second!
Censorhip:
We're deffinitly for it. The less depravity we see, the more people will want it. Thus thier souls are doomed to hell as they richly deserve.
Social Security:
Yep we need it, old people are a great source of convincing the youth with thie boring war stories that Satan is cool. We need to encourage them to do that.
Health care:
What better way to thank Satan for giving you hand-me-outs then pledging your alleigence to him? Naturally just like social security if you refuse to comply and submit to the dark prince you are legaly deemed "unpatriotic" and have your privaleges of social security/healthcare taken away.
bGas prices:
Heh, the higher the gas prices, the more money gos to terrorist funds, we can't "AFFORD" lol, to lower it.. however we can give you this complimentry bike..
Taxes:
You make the choice of either paying taxes once a year as an annual fee or with every commodity you buy, not both as before. Sense we're cutting all funds to suckers of other countries we're going to have lots more money to spend on evil and give you, the deserving worshippers a break.
School:
School is not manditory. The dumber the children, the easier they'll be to control as adults. And let the smart ones come in and learn, we'll teach them everything we possibly can. Because it's the non-lazy bastards who control the Earth.
Charity:
Screw the sickly or whatever. You can burn your wallet to some fruitless cause but Satan has better things to do! Like have sharks with friggin lasers on thier heads.
Nuclear weapons:
No worries of keeping them, we plan to use'em.
Evil day:
A new holiday given by the state the day after Valentine's day. It's just like Valentine's day exspet if you're single we encourage you to slap the **** out of people in relationships. We also permit legal murder on this day to people who dumped you on Valentine's day. What assholes.. we're envious of thier evil!
Drinking age:
Satan could give a crap what age you drink, smoke, or have a pet donkey. Have at you.
National Anthem:
The old anthem is crap. We're replacing it with Disturbed's "Liberate".
Who's running for president:
We managed to find a loophole in the constitution. It seems a politician can serve another two terms in the whitehouse if they switch parties. Therfore..
BUSH FOR 666 YEARS!!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/LordMarshal/Satanmymaster.jpg
The Culture War:
There is a culture war and if you're smart you will join the Satan party. Already Ron Regan has gotten ahold of legal documents allowing him and him alone to clone, but instead of stem-cells he made himself an army of liberals! However Sean Hannity didn't take too kindly to this and with the help of scientists has trained the army to go ass-backwards in evolution and become hobbit cave-people! I payed both a little visit not cause I care about them, but they seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Ann Coulter. (Who wouldn't..) Here it was taped live on CNN..
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/27922
Ann Coulter>Princess Toadstool.
Sonic>Ron Regan.
Mario>Sean Hannity.
Tails>Michal Moore.
Knuckles>Myself. XD
The Satan Party! \m/
\m/The mian goal of the Satan party is to get into office the pawns of the devil. Even though we are always capable of winning somehow.. (Evil wins because good is dumb.) we would like to exhibit as much evil into our elections and terms as much as humanly possible. Thus far we've been only a secret society pulling the strings of legal officals, but now sense we live in a more apathetic world, we can afford to be open and draw in more members! Here are our stances..
Abortion:
We're against it. *Le-gasp?!* Not really, as cool as baby sacrifices would be, the goverment slaughters millions of unborn babies as a state of union. And sense they're's a seperation of church and state those souls still go to Heaven. THE LIBERAL GOVERMENT IS WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD BABIES!
Immigration:
Despite what Hitler may have had you beleive we're for it. More people to convert to the darkside. You want freedom and oppurunity? It will cost you nothing but your soul bwahahaha!
Affirmative action:
What use does Satan have for minority or majority groups? Throw it away. We're all equal when it comes to being ghouls of the dark!
Gun control:
Satan is neutral about this. Guns make good to kill Christians and make for quick sacrifices, on the other hand those Christians and victims can use them on us. More must be learned of the percentage ration of Satanist to Christian killing numbers inorder to make a unified descision.
The War on Terror:
Tottaly against it! For one terror is something we in the Satan party pride outselves in, second emotion terrorists have done a way better job at making God look bad then we could ever dream of! Oh, excuse me.. "Allah". Yeah, that's it..heheheh..
The War on Drugs:
Against it, you never see demonic faces and heavy metalish entities better then when stoned off your ass.
The national deubt:
Satan gives the U.N. the middle-fingure. We are evil! You should've known better then to loan us money!
School unfiroms:
Girls look especialy nice in uniform. Have it.
Prayer in school:
Have at it. We can weed out the Christians in a second!
Censorhip:
We're deffinitly for it. The less depravity we see, the more people will want it. Thus thier souls are doomed to hell as they richly deserve.
Social Security:
Yep we need it, old people are a great source of convincing the youth with thie boring war stories that Satan is cool. We need to encourage them to do that.
Health care:
What better way to thank Satan for giving you hand-me-outs then pledging your alleigence to him? Naturally just like social security if you refuse to comply and submit to the dark prince you are legaly deemed "unpatriotic" and have your privaleges of social security/healthcare taken away.
bGas prices:
Heh, the higher the gas prices, the more money gos to terrorist funds, we can't "AFFORD" lol, to lower it.. however we can give you this complimentry bike..
Taxes:
You make the choice of either paying taxes once a year as an annual fee or with every commodity you buy, not both as before. Sense we're cutting all funds to suckers of other countries we're going to have lots more money to spend on evil and give you, the deserving worshippers a break.
School:
School is not manditory. The dumber the children, the easier they'll be to control as adults. And let the smart ones come in and learn, we'll teach them everything we possibly can. Because it's the non-lazy bastards who control the Earth.
Charity:
Screw the sickly or whatever. You can burn your wallet to some fruitless cause but Satan has better things to do! Like have sharks with friggin lasers on thier heads.
Nuclear weapons:
No worries of keeping them, we plan to use'em.
Evil day:
A new holiday given by the state the day after Valentine's day. It's just like Valentine's day exspet if you're single we encourage you to slap the **** out of people in relationships. We also permit legal murder on this day to people who dumped you on Valentine's day. What assholes.. we're envious of thier evil!
Drinking age:
Satan could give a crap what age you drink, smoke, or have a pet donkey. Have at you.
National Anthem:
The old anthem is crap. We're replacing it with Disturbed's "Liberate".
Who's running for president:
We managed to find a loophole in the constitution. It seems a politician can serve another two terms in the whitehouse if they switch parties. Therfore..
BUSH FOR 666 YEARS!!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/LordMarshal/Satanmymaster.jpg
The Culture War:
There is a culture war and if you're smart you will join the Satan party. Already Ron Regan has gotten ahold of legal documents allowing him and him alone to clone, but instead of stem-cells he made himself an army of liberals! However Sean Hannity didn't take too kindly to this and with the help of scientists has trained the army to go ass-backwards in evolution and become hobbit cave-people! I payed both a little visit not cause I care about them, but they seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Ann Coulter. (Who wouldn't..) Here it was taped live on CNN..
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/27922
Ann Coulter>Princess Toadstool.
Sonic>Ron Regan.
Mario>Sean Hannity.
Tails>Michal Moore.
Knuckles>Myself. XD
