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Since the forum's been gloomy this past month, let's start sauron's "Great KMC Spoof" again the right way, I noticed alot of people were confused what a 'spoof' was.

A spoof is a little archive making fun of something. In this case, Lord of the Rings!

So here's what you do here:
-Act aso though you're an edittor and you have to edit every scene from the movies to make it funnier.
-This does not include extended scenes.
-We can talk about how the spoof is going in Tig Party, unless anyone has any objections.

I shall start

Galadriel voice-over black screen:

"The world's all changed...
I can see it in the Earth...
I can smell it in the water...
I can feel it in the air...
I can do lots of things! For I am a Noldor, but you're not supposed to know that til 2 hours into this movie, so forget I said anything.

*cough* god damn what's up with all this smoke...

Well anyways...where was I?

Hmm ah! Alot of things that were were like forgotten and like everyone lost it...I'm not sure what, but ya know, I'm kinda like reading off a script so...work with me here. Yeah and like I have to say no one who's livin' is supposed to remember...but like, that's wrong because like I'm here and I remember it...and like I'm alive and all...

(also can i add stereotyping,adding things that never really happened but probably could have and exagerating always equal laughs)


cont.

like this thing is totally wrong, i mean hello there, babes, work with me.

It began with the forging of the great rings, when i say great, i mean great this is no gucci/tiffany rock, these are custom made bay-bay

annuwho sauron made rings for everyone, very nice man, but he held out on us bro! he had a totally more bling piece of...bling....

well, nobody decieves an elf when it comes to fashion, so we took our pets, the smaller, uglier men, to ask sauron for better rings

well somewhere down the line there must have been a breakup, because there was one hell of a cat fight *scene of elves throwing stilletos at orcs* *doing swirly attack with handbags*

well aparently this break up was with isildur and sauron, they were enaged, and isildur called it off, but sauron wouldnt take no for an answer.....he actually refused to give back the ring, so isildur chopped it off......now is that one bad-boy or what, pity he died (scene of isildur being jumped on by a grand total of three orcs)

anyways im draggin on now, so il leave you babes with this, bilbo gets the ring (sound of phone hanging up)

Bilbo writes on piece of paper...

"Dear....Sweet...Lobelia...Why must you marry my idiot of cousin, Otho? I am not good enough for thee? If thee want all my riches, come and marry me."

Bilbo: Hmm now who shall I send to give this to her...


FRODO!!!!!

FROOOODO!!

stupid boy! where is he

(scene of frodo in field reading)


the roooad goes ever on and ooon

frodo gets up and looks rather strange....he runs to the side of the road,

your late! even though i didnt know you were coming because i later say im so glad to see you, but anyway this way lets me laugh at least once in the trilogy

cont.

And before later where I see you again but then I have to have a slow mo crying out "Gaaaaandaaaaaalf" which I must say, I look gay.

gandalf: do i know you

frodo: its me frodo!

gandalf: nope, never heard of you, but your cute, get in the cart

frodo: uncle bilbo says i should never get into a strangers cart

gandalf: i have carrots

frodo: ok

*he jumps in, gandalf catches him in his arms*

gandalf: thats the way *leers*

frodo: whats that..?

gandalf: oh...thats my erm.....staff

frodo: but your stafs there....

gandalf: time to get out now!

frodo: sorry, not my stop yet

gandalf: ok you can stay

*lots of hobbit kids*

kids: gandalf gandalf your not supposed to have been in the shire for about 50 years yet us small six year old children know you by sight! gandalf


gandalf: pesky kids, take this *sets off fieworks*

hobbit kid number 5: OW! my eye! god it burns

frodo: no! im going to have to alert the shirrif

gandalf: *pushes frodo out of moving vehicle*

Frodo: Gah! Damn you old son of a *****
You didn't have any carrots!

Gandalf: *turning around sticking a tongue out* Don't believe everything you hear! Besides, you got a free ride, ge thankful or I'll stomp on you!

frodo: Ge thankfull?? GE!!!???? put your false teeth in *****!

(BAG END)

gandalf: *knocks*

bilbo: GO AWAY, NO RELATIVES WELL WISHERS POSTMEN POSTWOMEN NOBODY!

gandalf: what about very old friends

bilbo: NO! ESPECIALLY NOT!!

Gandalf: *cough* *deep voice* mr. Baggins, that bride you ordered from thailand is here

*door is immedietly opened*

Bilbo: *frowns* You sly bastard..

Gandalf: Yes I know.

Bilbo: Should I slam the door on your or torture you with my tiny home?

Gandalf: *prepares to say something*

Bilbo: *slam*

Gandalf: now how am i going to get in....oh yes! bilbo only has his windows facing the west.....now, which was is west....oh yes, the opposite of that giant shadow thing

*breaks into bilbos house*

*alarm goes off*

sackville baginsess: THE ALARM! HE MUST BE IN THERE

bilbo: gandalf you bastard!

*alarm alerts the shirrif, he and forty armed guards surround bag end*

shirrif: come out, with your hands up

gandalf: walks too door,

bilbo: NO! if you go out they sacks will know im here!

lobellia: your alarm is ringin, i know your in there

shirrif: ONCE MORE! COME OUT

gandalf: *openes door*

shirrif and lobellia: who are you!? wheres bilbo??

gandalf: well bilbos righ......*sees bilbo shaking his head and mouthing the words 'no' over and over* oh, hes erm...out

lobellia: so why are YOU in his house,, which SHOULD be our house

gandalf: well, its not a house really is it...

otho: dont you ignore my wife! why!

gandalf: erm...im here because.....im.......erm.....a burglar, yes thats it!

shirrif: a burglar ey!! *him and guards advance toward gandalf*

gandalf: *pulls out staff, smashes bilbos chandelier*

bilbo: you dick! *jumps on gandalf*

lobellia: bilbo, so you are here

bilbo: erm....yes, im.....helping this man...burgle

lobellia: your own home!?

bilbo: yes

gandalf: yes

shirrif: INSURANCE SCAM THEN IS IT!

*Bilbo and Gandalf look at each other*

Bilbo: *whispering* Give 'em the ol' Jedi whammy!

Gandalf: What?

Bilbo: You mean you can't do it?

Gandalf: Do what?

Bilbo: *glares*

Gandalf: Alright Alright. *everyone goes into a daze* Happy?

Bilbo: Yes very, now get inside, quick!

*knock, knock*

bilbo: there is a knocking, a constant knocking on my chamber door

*kncoking stops*

gandafl: nevermore

shirrif: OPEN THE DOOR, WE HAVE reASON TO BELIEVE YOU ARE HARBOURING A KNOWN CRIMINAL, 'THE DISTURBER OF THE PEACE'

*gandalf opens door*

shirrif: book em boys

gandalf: *lifts up hand* i am not the one you are looking for

guards: you are not the one we are looking for

gandalf: we are sorry

guard: we are sorry

gandalf: you are very sexy mr gandalf, may i have your number

guards: even the force wont go that far

Gandalf: *sighs* Uh....

Bilbo: *hoarsely* Send them away Gandaalf!!!!!!

Gandalf: Why? I'm having just so much fun.

Bilbo: *glares*

Gandalf: Alright Alright! Be gone!

Guards: ......

Gandalf: ....That means poof! Go bye bye!

Guards: *poof*

Lobelia: Hi Sexy Mr. Gandalf, can I get a number?

gandalf: i thought the force couldnt do that

lobellia: force?? *look confused*

gandalf: !!!!

bilbo: *slams door*

gandalf: aww, anyway bilbs im here for a reason, well, im not really....but i will have a reason soon

bilbo: what?

gandalf: never you mind, you as the owner of the ring for 60 years dont have the right to know i intend to destroy it

bilbo: what!

gandalf: shit.....*changes subject* nice...maps

bilbo: oh, yeah...the lonely mountain, i want to go there, see mountains!

gandalf: mountainS well, it cant be too lonely then....so you are leaving then??

bilbo: well, apparently.....and i will have my little joke

gandalf: its not a joke, its not funny!!

bilbo: they will laugh

gandalf: bet you the ring they dont

bilbo: your on

((gandalf and bilbo sitting smoking their pipes))

bilbo: look gandalf! ive been pacticing for 60 years to make a circly bubble thing with my smoke! aint it amazing i havent died from lung cancer yet?!?!

Gandalf: But 'til then! A old whiff of Longbottom Leaf...

Bilbo: Em....I'm all out.

Gandalf: You smoke too much.

Bilbo: Looks who's talking.

Gandalf: I start chewing.

Bilbo: No such thing!

Gandalf: I am a wizard! A wizard always has...something.

Bilbo: Okay that made no sense.

Gandalf: Ya I know. Blame the mod and his modiness.

Bilbo: What?

Gandalf: Mod and his modiness.

Bilbo: ....The love for the half-ling's leaf has clearly slowed his mind.

bilbo: look gandalf, i can smoke ring...i so want to impress you

gandalf: thats so pathetic, *makes a ship*

bilbo: this is going to be a night to remember

gandalf: it sure is, lobellias coming over!

bilbo: i mean for us

gandalf: WHY< BILBO ITs so...sudden

bilbo: i mean at the party

gandalf:...of...course....i knew that!

Bilbo: I rest my case, don't burn yourself with the fireworks now.

Gandalf: Whatever made you think that?

Bilbo: Well the big red mark on your neck is a clue.

Gandalf: That's not a burn that's called a hi-

Bilbo: I don't wanna know.

bilbo: "gandalf, my friend...this will be a night to remember...".

Gandalf: "*smiles**runs in house*

bilbo:..."where are you going?! i'm talking about my party...its my birthday or something...no its Frodo's...or mine ..can't remember

Gandalf:..*comes back disapointed*..."i thought..n/m"

*fireworks erupt*

ygandalf: then i would tale to saruman then

bilbo: eurgh!

(scene cuts to sky)

*BOOOOOOOM*

audience: aaah hobbiton is dead! noooooo

hobbits: hahahaha fireworks!

gandalf: *chuckles* butterflies!

*little boom, butterflies appear*

hobbit child 5: aah my eye! AGAIN! WHY ME ILUVATAR WHY!!!!!

other children: hahahaha *throw cocktail sausages at him*

bilbo: hey, thats my party food! merry and pippin stol....bought that from maggot! where ARE they

gandalf: *hears 'oh merry this is good' 'it sure is pip' 'giggles' from inside tent* ok...walk away....walk...*before he knows what is happening he has ran into the tent* *sees them with firework* *BOOOOOM*

hobbits* whoah!

firework: wheeeeeeeeEEERRRRAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGRRRRGGGHHHH *dragon*

hobbits: SHIT

frodo: BILBO!

sam: now mr frodo i know hes old, but hes ahrdly a dragon

hahahaha guys this is so funny how can ya think of it all, I wanna join in but I can't think sorry to interrupt


Please post things like these in Tig. Unless you're posting something part of the remake.

Frodo: *looking at Sam* What?

sam: well, yo ucalled bill a dragon...

frodo: bill?

sam: ...bo bilbo, its a nickname, if you follow me

frodo: *runs to get bilbo* hopefully sam...the dragon will eat you, your big enough to fill it up till breakfast next tuesday!

sam: why thank you mr frodo!

frodo: its not a comp....never mind

*dragon flies over and explodes*

hobbits: yey!!!

Bilbo: did sombody say speech!

hobbits: NOOOO

bilbo: well, one day...back in my youth.....*twenty three minutes later* and that is how i single handedly killed smaug, and defeated the orcs and wolves, anyway....im talking connfusing saying things like i know less than half of you half as well as i should like and like less then half of you half as well as you deserve

hobbits: O_o O_o o_O o_O *._.* (<<koala bear)

bilbo: im going now bye *poof*

hobbits: *dont laugh*

frodo: wha'??

*bag end door opens*

gandalf: i suppose you think your terribly sexy

bilbo: what?

gandalf: i mean clever, sorry dont know WHERE my mind was

bilbo: sexy, gandalf.....is that lipstick!

lobellia: bye babes

bilbo: OMG!!

gandalf: what, i get lonely! anwhoo you owe me your ring

bilbo: YOU SLEPT WITH MY COUSINS WIFE

gandalf: i think you have dwelled on the subject long enough

bilbo: what buissness of yours is it what i think of my own cousin

gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS!!!! DO NOT THINK OF SUCH THINGS< ITS NOT NORMAL *shrinks* its illegal

bilbo: oooh gandalf *hugs gandy* whats that

gandalf: damn....staff....

Bilbo: I'm gonna hi-tail it outta here now...

Gandalf: You don't have a tail

Bilbo: It's an expression.

Gandalf: I don't see it on your face...

Bilbo: .... *whispers to self* he's dumb right now, I can sneak out..*walks calmly out the door* *trips* *ring tumbles outta pocket*

Gandalf: *gasp* BILBO BAGGINS!

Bilbo: .....Damn

Gandalf: You think youre funny huh?
Bilbo: Actually yes
Gandalf: Put the ring into your moneybag! OTHERWISE YOURE GONNA LOSE IT

Gandalf: you sloppy idiot! leave it there! Frodo will bring it to Rivendell soon.
Bilbo: how will i survive without it? its my precioouuuussss

Gandalf: you leave that ring right here

bilbo: stares*

gandalf: dont make me use my staff

bilbo: well i its the one i felt a minute ago have the ring!

*bilbo leaves*

*gandalf goes to pick ring up*

sauron: BOO

audience: *dies*

frodo: BILBO!!....bilbo.....hea already left

gandalf: yes, and he left you everything....even his ring *puts it in envelope*

*throws ring in fire*

gandalf: what can you see

frodo: on the horizon? the ships have come to...

gandalf: no no, on the ring!

frodo: writing,...

gandalf: it is as i thought, saurons ring

frodo: what alerted your suspicions

gandalf: well....when i t made bilbo invisible i knew this as no ordinary ring.....and when i saw saurons eye appear i thought....this could be a ring of power

Frodo: hmm lets destroy it
Gandalf: *laughs*

Gandalf:and a few minutes ago i incidently visited the old library of minas tirith and my old friend saruman - living 2000 miles from here. He gave me a hint but was a bit bad...

so, now to talk loudly about it

this is saurons ring, keep it secret, keep it safe,

frodo: but sauron was destrtoyed

ring: hahaha well YOUR wrong

gandalf: so you see.....you must go on a mission for me

frdo: why dont you go

gandalf: because....im...erm....a wizard! thats it! and im too strong for a thing of such power

frodo: riiight

*rustle*

gandalf: get ddown!

*pulls sam out from in the bushes*

gandalf: what were you doing in there!

sam: erm...nothing sir

Frodo: is that....oh my god rosie what are you doing in there!

sam: erm yeah about that....

*at orthanc*

Saruman:"why look who it is my old pal seeking friendship again"

Grima:"i want his hat"

Peter Jackson:"BRAD! get off the set you don't come into this scene yet"

SAruman: well according to Tolkien..."

Gandalf:"*knocks on orthanc* heeelooo?...*wistles*...anybody home?

Sarumanh yes you what do you want again?"

Gandalf:"i found the one ring..and..."

Saruman"*pushes pj and grima in a hole and runs to gandalf embraCING him tightly*..."WHERE give it to me now...where is it.!!*puls out staff and begins hypnotizing gandalf Jafar style*{sory a little aladin got in there}"i'll do anything for it!!

Gandalf:"anything?"...remember that old beach resort down by The harbours?...we used to play in the DARK caves alone when we were boys?>>>"

Saruman:"never mind come inside" i'll find another way

gandalf: well the one ring

saruman: yes, tell me where it is *looks evil* *laughs evilly*

Gandalf:"some crack-head's got it in the shire..."don't wory i took care of him....

Saruman:"anyway you must bring it to me...

Gandalf:"why you i was gona take it to my buddy sauron"

Saruman:"uh...no gandalf...that would be VERY very bad...do you understand

Gandalf:"*gets impatient jumping up and down*..."Sauron's my friend and why shouldn't i give what is rightfully his!""no!!*trys to leave*
"i'll send one of my hobit slaves on a mission to mordor to hand deliver it to him..that'll show you!"*sticks out tongue*

Saruman:"oh no you don't"*locks gandalf up in high tower*
"AND NO MOTHS ALLOWED!!!"

(((didnt we skip this??)))
(((well then gandalf gets back now aight?)))
okay...
Gandalf: (Pulling out mobile) Hi, could you come rescue me from the orthanc?
Eagle: K. Be there in a few minutes...
Gandalf: *jumps on eagles back*
Eagle (back to shire): thats 24.50 $
Gandalf: here, take the rest as gratuity.

eagle:weee! lets flay as close to the orcs as possible with out getting kileld with spears!!

Gwaihir(eagle):no prob but next time you need me it's gona be double the fee...

Gandalf:"Get out of here...i won't ever need you again...shoo go on get!SHOO!....stupid birds"*wipes feathers from robe*

cuts to scene where frodo and sam are leaving shire heading for bree

EDIT:: and merry and pip too

((in maggots cornfields))
Sam: Mr. Director where is Pippins, Merrys and my conspiracy?
Director: forget it...
Frodo: lets go on acting!
Sam: whaa thats Merry and Pippin!

:sam:"you've been in farmer Magot'sCrop!

Merry:"uh yeah so have you were standin' in it...*duh*

Frodo:"run"

Farmer magot:"com here you BLEEP BLEEP...i'm gona tear youBLEEPIN BLEEPEDY BLEEPS off...!!!"

*falls off cliff and lands on top of a ringwraith*
Frodo:i think we should get off the nazgul"
Merry:mushrooms!...*runs to mushrooms*
Frodo:"get off the nazgul quick..."

the 4 run...
Pippin: Why did you run that slow Frodo?
Frodo: I had a discussion about social economy with #3.
Merry: lets get to the prancing pony i am THIRSTY
Sam: me too!

Frodo: "How'll we get there?"

Merry: "BUCKLEBERRY FERRY!"

Frodo: "What's that?"

Merry: "Just follow me!"

Merry runs ahead screeming stuff like:

"Blue! 42....HUT hike...buckleberry ferry 79 Hail Rosey HUT HUThut...!!

they hurdle fences and Pippen jumps on the raft and starts to untie the rope...merry follows...

MErry:"sam pass FRODO now Pass i'm open!"
SAM:*positions himself and hurls his master forward...Merry catches*
*pippen does a victory dance*

SAm jumps in water after raft

FRodo:"you can't swim!"

SAM:"i'm going with you"

PIP..:''i guess he has to come"

they bring him on board...
next crossing is 20 miles

Pippin: The scene with 'Sam you cant swim' is 70 minutes later...
Frodo: really? hmm mixed up the script.
Sam: *laughs*
===Getting to Brees Gate===
Guardian: Hey yo people how are you? *grins*
Frodo: Hi guardian, let us in we're thirsty
Guardian: I have hemp tea here... *giggles*
Frodo: No thank you, just let us in.
===in the prancing pony===
Merry: I wanted to try the hemp tea!
Frodo: No the beer here is better.
Sam: alright i go and get some jars.

*Merry comes back with a pint*
pippin: WOAH! wats that?!
Merry: its called a pint *duh* it sez so on the menu....
Pippin: They come in PINTS?!?!?!
Merry: Hello wat did i just say? YEA! *mumbles to self* Why am i always stuck with the idiots
Pippin: O_o im confuzzeled.. *runs off to talk to the BIG ppl at the bar*
big people: Hey cutie *winks* whos ur friends? *winks*
Pippin: *is scared a lil but rather pleased that the big ppl called him cutie* Friends? wat friends? Oh those ppl well the drunk one is Merry the fat one is sam and the Sexy one who noes Sexy gandalf is Frodo
BIg People: HEY ITS A BAGGINS!!! The one who are legended for.....*giggles*
*Frodo Overhears and trys to grab Pippin as a protection from the Big People Thinking: Hopefully they will think Pippin is Sexier than me*
*Plan doesnt work...instead Frodo adn his Sexy...er...clumsy self trips*
*also he stupidly had the Ring in his hand the whole tyme and when he trips the ring falls out of his had....but the ring likes frodo's finger and decides to fall onto Frodo's Finger*
*Frodo Dissapears*
Everyone: OH!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!

*Everything changes to black and white*
*Frodo begins to wonder where all the color went and then notices a huge eye in the distance becoming closer*

Voice of Sauron: "Peek'a'boo, I see you!"

*Frodo not one for silly lil Hobbit games pulls the ring off his finger*
"ow that hurt !!! It is so not my size !"

Strider: "You draw far too much attention to yourself Mr. Underhill"!
Frodo : "Mr. Baggins"
Strider: "Fine, Mr. Baggins"
Frodo : "Mr...Underhill ! mauahahaha"

*Strider smacks Frodo across the face* "Stop that you stupid little Hobbit !!! Now upstairs with you, it is time for your Bath !"


Better not try anything, Sam will kill him

*Sam sees the person push Frodo up the stairs*

Sam: NO ONE HURTS MY FRODO! *turns to Merry and Pippin* C'mon guys, let's sic 'im!

*In the room*

Frodo: What do you want? I have money! TReasure! The whole BagEnd! Just don't hurt me!!!!

Strider: What I want? A little bit more caution from you dude, just a liiiitttle bit more okay? That not just an ornament you're luggin' around.

Frodo - "What you talkin about Willis ! I ain't carrying nothin"

*Strider puts his hand down Frodo's shirt*

Strider - "Where is it, where is it ????

*Frodo pulls ring out from Pocket*

Frodo - "So who are you ?"

Strider - "I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imatating, so won't the Real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up" "Are you frightened"

*Frodo takes a step backward, a bit nervous with Strider singing*

Frodo - "yes I am Mr. Slim Shady*

Okay AD that's being a liittle bit off....-.-

Let me try that...

Frodo: I'm not carrying any thing!

Strider: *in mock KMC member voice* Indeeeed. I can like squeeze into areas so I can't be seen or bothered but to like go invisible like that, I don't think ANYONE can do that! That's totally awesome!

Frodo: *in disbelief* Who are you?

Strider: Oh...sorry, did I scare you...?

Frodo: In a way, yeah.

Strider: How much?

Frodo: Alittle

Strider: Damn!

(Hmmm no one's posting...)


*Sam, Pippin, and Merry barge in. Sam holding a nine-milimeter, Merry with a shotgun, and Pippin with a stool*

Sam: I'LL 'AVE YOU LONGSHANKS!

Strider: *not threatened at all, pulls out a parchment and writes* "Names to be remembered...Sweet cheeks...Long...shan..ks..." thank you for that fat one.

Sam: YOU LET MR. FRODO GO!

Strider: And what if I don't?

Sam: Um......em.....I'll shoot your face in!

Strider: Okay, you win.

Sam Frodo Pppin Merry: at thispoint we should run out the room, but we dont

aragorn: you have a big heart, and belly, but they will not save you now master gamgee

sam: how do you know my name

aragorn: i have been watching you for about a week, i know more than your name, i know you are harbouring a broken to, several packs of ready stirred chicken and rice and a severe case of genital warts

sam: riiiiight moving on....we need a way to turn the conversationg towards the nazgul, but sauron cant think of any so he is using this line as a cheat

aragorn: ok, they were once kings....of men....but sauron gave them some bling, and they were enslaved FOREVER!!

*nazgul come up*

nazgulsteve irwin accent) rihgt, now, we have to be very quiet, this is a particuarly dangerous type oif hobbit, and they will rip there britches off in an instant if you give em a chance

Sam: *whispering to Frodo* Why're we staying here, Mr. Frodo, they'll come for us!

Frodo: Go to bed Sam

Sam: Not without you!

Frodo: I said go to bed!

Sam: No! I'll stay up and wait for you!

Merry: would you both shut up, and deal with your little argument at a couple's counseling session or something?

Pippin: *giggles incoherently*

Strider: He's right y'know...

Sam and Frodo: Shut up.

strider is about to say something in protest, but then suddenly scarey music starts playing!! muahahahaha

gate person: hello may i take your order?

nazgul1: boom! look eveybody! i knocked over a door
nazgul2: idiot! do you know how much we are going to now have to pay in damages?!?!?!

they ride to the prancing pony

nazgul3: *sniff* *sniff* i smell hobbit lets eat
nazgul2: they arent for eating theyre for molesting!!
nazgul3:

inn owner person: *whimper* me scared of the big undead thingys. MOMMY!!1

nazgul1: oooo! scary music *sings along*
nazgul5: shut up! youre going to scare away the hobbits!

they walk up the stairs

all nazgul: PILLOW FIGHT!!!!

frodo, pip, merry, and sam: strider strider! we wanna play pillow fight!!!
aragon: IDIOTS!!

Merry, Sam, and Frodo look offended, Pippin looks blank.

Pippin: Well then, who's up for supper?

The other hobbits turn to look at him

Everyone but Pippin: IDIOT!

Pippin looks offended.

Pippin: do they not have salted pork?

hobbots@ no YOUR an idiot
aragorn: is that right!
Hobbits: yes it is! *sam hits strider with a pillow*
aragorn: right, thats it *big pillow fight erupts*
nazgul: *start pillowing into other rooms until they finally come into the hobbits room*
frodo: strider!
sam: ARAGORN!
nazgul: ARAGORN?!?!?!? RUN RUN
several bree hobbits: STOP!
frodo and sam: *sing* in the name of love....
everyone:

Frodo and Sam: *sing* before u break my heart......
Everyone: aww heck with it! *Sing* STOP!!!!! IN THE NAME OF LOVE!!!!
Nazgul: BEFORE U BREAK MY HEART
*everyone except aragorn grabs pints and sings Stop in the name of love*
Strider: Ok break it up break it up!!
Nazgul run away
sam: Party pooper
Strider: Hey!

strider: PARTY pooper a ranger never poops in a party, a ranger is like a bear they poop in the wood!

frodo: riiiiight

*morning*

butterbur: YOUR HORSES HAVE BEEN STOLEN!

aragorn: dude, thats the book, this is the film, we never had horses

butterbur: oh...stupid boy NOB

aragorn:

butterbur: erm...BOB

aragorn:

butterbur: oh...well *closes door*

for i am here!

frodo: i feel so much safer

aragorn: well, im off to wander for no reason, have a sword, dont bring those black riders here

frodo: we wont *falls asleep*

hobbits: mumble, shout, im fat and eating

frodo: what are you doing

sam: eating! im very fat mr frodo

Frodo: Okay lemme have some bacon... argh i am hungry
oh i forgot to say YOU IDIOTS YOU LIT A FIRE???
*stamps on the fire til theres only ashes*

Pippin: *sobbing* My...bacon....waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh


Merry: Pull yo'self together dude! *whacks Pippin on the back of the head*


Pippin sees Merry's bacon on his plate

Pippin pounces over Merry to get to it and they end up in a scramble

Frodo looks over the cliff and falls over it

Sam: MR. FRODO! *grabs Frodo's arm*

Nazgul #2: Oooo victim!

Sam: I'm sorry Mr. Frodo, for cutting your hedges too ...edgy, sorry for breaking your ol' nail in the cupboard I'm so-

Frodo: Sam just get me up!

Sam: Oh right, *pulls Frodo up*

ok, moi has NEVER done this before, and this is just a ridiculous sketch, but tell me if i'm on-track



Frodo runs up Weathertop



And trips on his sword and falls


Wraiths run up screaming


Frodo picks up sword at directs it in Nazguls' direction



Pip, Sam and Merry run behind Frodo



Frodo maintains his balance, oh thank god



Wraiths slowly glide upwards



*Sam gets himself uncomfortably close to Frodo*



Witchy pulls out sword






Frodo trips on his foot and Falls













oh lord have mercy

lol thats not bad, perhaps i am too drunk to question stuff....

Frodo: do it on the other side, i know what happens here and being stabbed on my left side is too soar but perhaps the right side could be more suitable

Witchy: You know...it doesnt have to be either if you just give us the BLEEDING RING!

Frodo: *thinks for a minute*














so as i was saying... the left or the right..

Witchy: Come on give us!
Frodo: Noooo it my precioussssss
Witchy: *Stabbs Frodo*
Frodo: AAAAAH *but nobody hears him :-/*
*pulling ring off*
Frodo: AAAAAAAAH
Sam: Mr. Frodo! Bad Witch king! shoosh!
Witch king: *confused*
Strider: There we go! And One, Two, Three, Four..... Spin! and Five, ....
oh where the others?

Nazgul: Run away! Run away!

HMMM im gonna give it a try!

Strider: thats right im the king of the world!!!!
Sam: thats right, king strider! get your bloody arse over here!
Frodo: thats right, im injured and no one cares, thanks..what a fellowship this turned out to be..oh wait
Merry: not the fellowship yet dear one
Frodo: oh dont call me that
Strider: hes too stinky, he needs elvish perfume!
Sam: WHAT! we are not taking him to legolas, he will never..um smell good
Frodo: thats a little harsh *barfs*
Strider: EWWW HOBBIT PUKE!
Pippin: I want some..oh wait..
Merry: your such a dumb a pippin, good grief, go choke on some lembas bread
Pippin: thats a little harsh
Frodo: Ohhh gandalf! where are you when i need you my knight and shining armor!
Strider: shut up..your my ***** now
Frodo: AHHH

LOL how did that sound?

Gandalf: Ohhh i am so on top of this tower...its a little bit CHILLY here, oh look a butterfly!!
Butterfly: flying toward the big hairy man, oh! LANDAGE! hey mr. nose hair
Gandalf: now listen: i want you to go frodo ill be there in a little bit that im catching a cold before saving him from this evil madness! Oh! and get the eagles!!
Butterfly: Okay..off i go..lets see...go tell frodo..ahh i forgot what you said gandalf, what am i dory? oh well just keep flying just keep flying

HAHAHA

lol I love Dory!

*cough* not butterfly.......moth!{Kit's comment: Discos...it was a joke....}

Strider: do you know the mousten plant? erm, its some form of weed
Sam: I told you it fell, FELL off the horse a few miles back, just drop it *cough*

lol i know its a moth! its a remake, remember? i called it a butterfly to make it funny!

woah you just skipped the whole saruman part, with the orcs and the slimy one, before it cuts back to frodo and them, you totally skipped that..ahhh

that one is hard for me to remember scene by scene, but ill try

Saruman: I need all trees and all roots to make my hair even more grey
Orcs: we agree
Saruman: HEY! THAT WAS MY IDEA! get back to cutting trees you little fools
Orcs: just keep cutting...just keep cutting..just keep cutting
Saruman: BRING ME THE SLIMY ORC!
Orc 1: for the love, mr. bossy!
Slimy Orc: ewww...what is this crap all over me, eww NOT MY COLOR!
Saruman: shhh silence sexy one
Slimy Orc: EW scare me...the big grey haired freak is getting fresh on me, oh well...stand here...act natural...and slowly refrain from touching my boobs, ewwww slime stains!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA now...it should go back to frodo and them

*sword pops up in front of striders face*
arwen: HA HA! i caught a ranger offguard! w00t!
strider: w/e i was busy trying to help that beautiful hobbit over thurr *points to frodo*
arwen: ahh i see he is cute isnt he?
Strider: yea anyways he need elvish medicine do u think u can help?
Arwen: wat? how could i help?
Strider: um...ur an elf right? and we need ELVish medicine
Arwen: i still dont see where ur trying to get at...
Strider: *sigh*
arwen: oh i get it!
Strider: Really?
Arwen: No wait.... i gotta think bout this



heheeh lol

ok here goes....

Arwen: (thinks for a second then looks back at Frodo relizing how much cuter he is that Strider) I have to take him alone on my horse!
Strider: no i wanna take him! i found him!
Arwen: stop being such a baby. im a girl and the Nazgul are boys, boys can't hit girls! i'll be safe all the way there unless i get hit by a tree!
Strider: ok fine you win! take him! *I get these three though! tee hee!*

*Arwen looks kickass with her sword until she drops it in the mud*

Arwen: ooopsy...

*Glorfindel pops up*

Glorfindel: ok, so not only do you steal my horse, my lines, and my place in the movie, now you steal my faveourite sword and break it! I'M TELLING ELROND ON YOU!

Please try to post comments on the thread that is made to discuss our remake - In a few moments I will delete anything that does not relate to LotR or this remake.

awww ok, i wanna continue this...

*the magic horsey friends crash over the nazgul, sending them flying over a raging waterfall*

arwen: "im so glad daddy installed that new fountain!"

frodo: "ahhhhrrrggguhh."

arwen: "frodo! FRODO! nooo, you're waaaaay too hot to die!"

peter jackson: "liv, i told you, you're supposed to say that cool elvish line just like we practiced!"

arwen: "oh yea, sorry p-man, *says stuff in elvish*"

*elrond pops up*

elrond: "hey man, im not aerosmith, but i can rock out too! *sings some more elvish stuff while strumming his home-made elvish ukulele*

arwen (mumbling): "... the guy from the matrix trying to be like my dad... pitiful, god..."

elrond: "what was that?"

arwen: "oh nothin, daddy, gotta run... er... ride!"

elrond: *disappears*

Frodo wakes up in a white room...
Frodo: What the! where in middle earth am i?
Gandalf:you aren't in your house yet you are in the house of a friend...
Frodo: (stares blankly)
Gandalf: You are in the house of elrond! elrond=friend? do you get it?
Frodo: (sees Elrond come from behind a curtain) OH MY GOSH! NEO WHERE'S NEO????? wait why were you guys in here while i was sleeping?
Elrond: (looks to Gandalf) Uhhh I healed you! i have no idea why the old man was in here!
Gandalf: ummmm, Hey look here's the other hobbits!
(sam runs in and grabs Frodo's hand)
Frodo: what are you doing Sam?!
Sam: oh sorry forgot the rules...no touching

Frodo: anyways its realy great to see u again....now lets all jump up and down and hug each other....even though we just saw each other about 2 scenes ago.

((sry its kinda not funny lol i am kinda tired and i cant think straight)) lol

meh, not very funny, just the usual gay stuff *sigh*, lol sorry for bringing ya down though

Elrond: The ring cannot stay here,
Gandalf: why are you telling me man? why cant you take it to mordor 'n' stuff
Elrond: I'm busy
Gandalf: with what?
Elrond: wig making.........

lol
Gandalf: wig making? dont u think the fate of the entire world is more important with wig making?
Elrond: psh NO! hello i needa look good for da ladies *does a smile and teeth shines*
Gandalf: well then...can i borrow a wig? u noe to make me look younger? then the women will really be all over me...especially lobelia

Elrond: She's too young for you old man
You can try at Sarumans mama.
Gandalf: Back to topic and issue: How will we get the ring away
Elrond: I'll tell you: I will send you, Aragorn, Boromir, Meriadoc, Peregrin, Samwise, Frodo, Legolas, You and Gim...
Gandalf: Will you stop telling the whole movie I want to be surprised!
Elrond: Mr. Jackson! Please, we need some new Gandalf! Argh okay. This scene is supposed to end here.

lol,

elrond: "what do you want me to do?"

gandalf: "take the frickin ring!!!!"

elrond: *thinks for a minute* "errr... nope, sorry, im heading off."

gandalf: "what? where are you going?"

elrond: "uhhh... i gotta get some new dresses... robes... me and my lovers... men... are riding down to the Gap of Rohan, i heard theres a sale going on."

gandalf: "oh, fashion emergency? i know just what you need, a ring!"

elrond: *gasps* "a ring?!?!"

gandalf: *pulls out the one ring* "yea, this ring! it would brighten up any outfit, you wont even need a handbag!"

elrond: "i told you once, and ill tell you again: IM NOT TAKING THAT RING, DAMMIT!"

*legolas pops in*

legolas: "hey elrond, you havent seen my green leggings, have you?"

elrond: "uhhh... ask arwen..."

legolas: "ugh, its so degrating when elven princesses steal my clothing, i mean, come on, who do you have to blow to get some manhood around here?"

elrond:

*flips to scene where everyone is seated and blabbing about stuff*
Elrond: ok..... are we ready to begin?
*everyone is still talking*
Elrond: *clears throat*
*everyone is STILL talking*
Elrond: HEY! LISTEN UP
*everyone is S T I L L talking*
Frodo: Hey listen to the old men so i can get outta here!!!!!!!!!!
*everyone quiets down*
Elrond: um.... thanks ?...anways who want to take the ring and destroy it so it wont take over the world with its evil powers
*silence*
Elrond: now dont u all volunteer at once!
Boromir: hey why cant we use it? i wanta wear the preety ring and then destroy my enimes
Elrond: nope sry i was hoping this bling bling would help me wit da ladies....but i guess they dont like to see...or not see... me
Gimli: hey guess wat im so powerful i bet i can destroy that ring by just hitting it with my scrawny axe
Legolas: I bet 5 dollars
Gimli: 10
Legolas: 20
gimli: 100
legolas: ok! whispers: *heh heh... sucker* im so smart i noe the ring will not break cuse rings dont break! right? *yes my precious* awesome
gimli: hey ur not gollum
Legolas: oh....right *stupid fat hobbit....i mean er stupid fat dwarf*
*Gimli hits the ring with his axe....it breaks*
Gimli: ha ha!!
everyone: !!!!!
sum rendom person: its a fake.....wheres the real one?
Elrond: Frodo....
*Frodo has not been paying attention...just talking to da ring adn holding the ring*
Frodo: *rocks back and forth with ring* heh heh they cant take u away preciousssssssssssssss
Elrond: FRODO!
Frodo: wat
Elrond: The ring!
Frodo: What you talkin about Willis?
Elrond: dont say that it just isnt funny when u use the same line in this remake
Frodo: yea it is....
Elrond: No its not now put the precio....i mean er ring on the stand place thingamabobber
Frodo: ok w/e it means nothing to me which is why i will NOT volunteer to take the ring to mordor
Elrond: YES!!! A Volunteer
Frodo: wa? where? take me with u!
elrond: haha sucker
Frodo: dam u
Elrond: ok who want to go with this sexy.....er...brave hobbit to destroy this ring of DOOOOOOOOOM?
*everyone raises hands*
Elrond: ok just um.....boromir......Legolas .....um.... Gimli...... hey dont u owe legolas 100 bucks?
Legolas saying in background: yea! punk wheres my money!
Elrond : *continues* and uhhh.....gandalf and uh....aragorn..... and uh......yupp thats it
Sam: NOooooooooo OOOOO frodo cant go anywhere without me!!
Elrond: and who are u?
Sam: his gardener
Elrond: oh his gardian
Sam: no GARDENER
Elrond: w/e
Pip: hEy we want to go toooo because we are copy catters!
Merry: its copy cat
pip: w/e
elrond: ok....... u r now the...FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!!!!!!! * dan dan dan dan*

((ok sum1 can add teh part when pip sez great where are we going?))

Pip: w00t yes u need us because u need ppl of intelligent on this mission....quest...thing
merry: yea not like people.....like you!
Pip: wat are u trying to say?
Merry: nevermind
PiP: ok.....so where are we going
(lol i think thats the funniest part in da movie)

bump

I guess it can help lighten up the forum..

hehe

Frodo, thinking: I wish the ring had never come to me...I wish none of this had happened...

Random Genie: Your wish is granted!!!!

Frodo: ......

....

...dammit!

yeah Jeremy, and there goes the entire story

yes, but seen as how it's "KMC style" I'd have every right to fill in the rest with the bogus BS that's i'm so good at writing

Stick to the drawing. You're a better artist than writer..


anyways, dont want to carry this off-topic..

*coughcoughbumpingcoughcough*

Legolas: silly dwarves and their silly caves and silly beards
Gimlia: Damn elves and their prancing!
Legolas: I do not prance, i walk elegantly!
Gimli: yeah for a butterfly
Legolas: does that mean?
Frodo: I have a bad feeling guys.
Boromir: you always have a bad feeling 'i think theres an orc there, i think i am going insane, i think boromir takes my clothes off at night' you really should stop whining.
Gandalf: silence people, Behold! Moria!
Legolas: Its moria average cave....
Gimli: lame....real lame.
Legolas: Well look, theres nothing here! no greenland for my elvisness to prance in,
Gimli: go look at your reflection in the water then, if it will keep you quiet!
Legolas: ! *runs off and looks in water*
Watcher: ooh, hot elf....i want me some of that!
Gandalf: i have been in here before, i should know the password, but i am old..and senile...i forgot!
Aragorn: gandalf the wise indeed...
Gandalf: Oh yeah aragorn, whats being king like? oh i forgot YOUR NOT!
Aragorn: low..real low
Frodo: seeing as for large portions of the next two movies is just me and a rather fat hobbit, i need to be more involved in this film. i will guess the password!
gandalf: Mellon!
Legolas: no i ate thank you
*doors open*
Legolas: *walks inside*
Watcher: Nooo, dont go ! *flips out*
*grabs wrong person*
Frodo: aaah, im helpless, why isnt the ring falling into the monsters mouth, i am upside down!
aragrn: oh no, an evil monster has frodo! how inconvenient!
Everyone: Hack slash, get dirty
Legolas: Shoot shoot, stay clean
gandalf: Inside!
Fellowship: ya think?

The fellowship enter the mines of Moria.

Boromir:*belches loudly*

The door collapses.

Gandalf: Fool of a... oops, wrong person.
You idiot! now we can't get out!

*they walk through Moria for a while, Gandalf gets lost.*

Gandalf: I have no memory of this place...
Frodo: Would it kill you to ask for directions?
Gandalf: NEVER!!!! A wizard does not ask for directions! He ALWAYS knows exactly where he is!
Frodo: Then how come you're lost?
Gandalf: Am not!
Frodo: Are too!
Gandalf: Am not!
Frodo: Are too!
(several hours later)
Gandalf: Am not.. Wait! It's that way! I knew it all along! And YOU said I was lost!
Gimli: Ohh! *sees Balin's grave and then starts bawling like a little girl*
Legolas: It's okay.. don't cry...*hugs Gimli*
*Aragorn and Boromir start looking at him strangely*
*Pippin knocks the skeleton into the well, etc.*
Gandalf: Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity!
Aragorn: I second the motion!
Boromir: Me too!
Gandalf: *sigh*
*Boromir looks out the doorway*
*he gets shot with an arrow*
Boromir: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH *dies*
PJ: Cut! What was that?!
Boromir: Well, you SAID I was supposed to die in this movie, so...
PJ: Not YET!!!
Boromir: Oh, if you insist... *comes back to life* They have a cave troll!

Pippin throws himself into the hole, following Gandalf's earlier advice. Merry, Frodo and Sam follow suite.
The rest of the fellowship jump into the hole. They all land in a pile on the ground. Somehow, Frodo is on the bottom of the pile instead of Pippin.
Everybody except Frodo gets up.

Sam: Frodo? Frodo!
Aragorn: Oh, no.
As he turns him over. Frodo groans...
Sam: He's alive!
Rest: Damn.
Frodo: I'm alright. I'm not hurt.
Aragorn: You should be dead. The impact of the fall, then all of us landing on you would have squished a wild Boar into some form of edible mush.
Gandalf: I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye.
Frodo reveals his Mithril.
Gimli: Mithril! You are full of surprises, Master Baggins!

*Gandalf looks around him.*

Gandalf: How handy. We're on the great hall!

Gandalf: Ah, now all we have to do is...
RRRRROOOOAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRR!!!!
Boromir: What is this new devilry?
Gandalf: A Balrog. This foe is beyond any of you...
Aragorn: So what should we do?
Gandalf: RUN! Oh, all except Pippin. You stay here.
Pippin: HEY!! *runs anyway*
*Legolas and Gandalf jump over the break in the stairs*
*Boromir throws Merry to them, but throws Pippin over the side into the abyss.*
*Somehow Pippin appears on the other side anyway*
Gandalf: *sigh*
*Boromir jumps, then Aragorn tosses Sam*
Gimli: Nobody tosses a dwarf! EYAAAAAH!
*Legolas catches him by the beard*
Gimli: AAAH! Not the beard!
Legolas: Fine then. *lets go*
*Gimli manages to pull himself up*
Gimli: *mutters something nasty about elves*
*Aragorn and Frodo manage to get across*
*the Fellowship comes to the bridge*
Balrog: RRRROOOOOAAAAWWWWRRRR!!!!
Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Frodo: Gandalf!
Gandalf: I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. Dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the Shadow. YOU SHALL NOT *slips*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Balrog: Haha! What an idiot. I'll just fly down and put him out of his misery.
*he swoops down, but finds out that he really DOESN'T have wings.
Balrog: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Gandalf(from far below): You can't fly, you fool!




OK..lame I know..

THAT WAS ****ING HILARIOUS!!!!!!

*saves*

I will reply soon! great! awesome! Everything but NOT LAME!

Frodo: GANDALF!!!!!!!
Boromir: crybaby crybaby
Frodo: He... umm... had the ring in his pocket.
Fellowship:
Frodo: Argh
Aragorn: We should *nearly gets striked by arrow* anyway leave moria...
Sam: It has stolen our preciousssss! ARRRH
Frodo:
Sam: Just Kiddin'.
Frodo: Ah
((They run and run))
Frodo: *falls* Help I need somebody, Help, just anybody, help oh I need someone - Help!
When I was younger so much younger than today...

Boromir: *turns* come on Mr. Hobbit! stop singing by the way.
Frodo: umm... k
*outside*
Aragorn: We can not remain here!
Frodo: **** it the RING! *cries*
Sam: Mr Frodo, I know its hard to lose the precioussssss....
Frodo:
Sam: oops

Aragorn: anyway I Head ya now....
Gimli: Who says so
Aragorn: ... to Lothlorien
Gimli:
Legolas:
Sam:
Frodo: what is lothlorien? is it edible?
Sam: bored its whre the elves live
Frodo: one elf suffices.
Legolas: *kills*
Sam: *Stops Legolas*
Fellowship: *fights*

an hour later

Aragorn: ****
All: What? *stop fighting*
Aragorn: its dark
All: And?
Aragorn: and the orcs will come now
All: *twig* ahhh
All: WHOA *run*

Arrived at Lorien
Gimli: I see you elves
Sam: where?
Gimli: there *points at shooter aiming at Gimli*
Sam: ouch
Gimli: I was just kidding
Sam: there IS an elf
Gimli: OOOOOH ****
Legolas: Hi there
Elf: Yo man whazzup! *to other elves* arrest the others!
Legolas: Nah theyre mah homies man!
Elf: Yo 'kay man! *to other elves* Be so nice and release the others
Legolas: phat man
Elf: cummon with us yoho will ya

That WAS BRILIANT...I mean that
...s-b strikes again...

fellowship enter lorien and see galadiral and celeborn:

cell: "8 there are here, but 9....
galadrial: "I'll handlle this dear..."" I see all...He fell..." I know all..."
cell: "i know you do...*turns around*
*boromir begans weeping uncontrolably*
legolas: "ah..don't cry mate...I'm here for you bud..."*hugs*
Boromi "I will find no rest here...."
legolas: " perhaps I could sing you a song...I don't need sleep..."
Boromir: "no thats quite alrigh....."
Legolas":"*starts singing* "the road goes ever on....."
sam:"save us!"
Frodo: " *grabs sam's hand...*"
sam: "hold on mr frodo...!"
* the earth shakes with the sound of legolas' singing
galadriel stands up*
"STAY THIS MADNESS!!!"
legolas *continues singing*
boromir....*weeps louder*
pippen: "I need a smoke."
cell:"dear...plz do something...woe is me"*runs away*
galdriel: *looks around*
"soon you will have a queen!"
boromir: "I will...?*stops weeping*"
legolas: *sings louder*
Galad: "you will have a queen!!!"
Frodo: *covers his ears*
aragorn:"ELENDIL!!!!"*charges at legolas and tackles him to the ground*"
sam:"gets up"
aragorn:"on your feet legolas"
*legolas stops singing*
Frodo:..."theres too much tension here...I'm def leaving the fellowship now...!"

OMG...so lame...

nah

Aragorn: Sure mate, see ya in hell
Boromir: My precious!!! noooo!
Aragorn (to Galadriel): It kinda like an illness going round here
Galadriel: What ever
Elves(to Legolas): So sup lately sucka?
Legolas: Just checkin middle earth out with my homies!
Elves: Yo
Aragorn: That is not understandable!
Elves: Excuse us, we are speaking our ancient language, Sindarin
Aragorn: O...... kay
Gimli: I find no words for the beauty of these fields and their owner
Galadriel: *blushes* thank you
Gimli: I meant Celeborn
Galadriel: *turns red*
Celeborn: *blushes*
Boromir: *catches Frodo*
Frodo: It too early to catch me yet
Boromir: Nor it is the time to leave us yet. Wait till the ambush of orcs
Frodo: Ahhh, sure

OMG! LMAO!!

thumbup

eezy...

*bumping*

whats up with Chris tendency to write?

I lost my mojo

Get it back man

you CAN make it

*sigh* where are we?

In Lorien. In the hall or w/e of Galadriel... best is read back a bit... remember the elves talk in worst slang to Legolas....

Ok, i will go away, and finish my full length rotk one
and post it when we get there

nah
come on

cheer up and try

Galadriel: Okay wake up everyone time to get up, get some gifts, and leave us!

The Remaining eight in unison: Ugh!

Galadriel: To Mippin and Perry...

Pippin & Merry: Thats...

Galadriel: ...Cuisinart knives I got from Celeborn last Christmas....(All elves "ooo" and "ahh" except for Celeborn who stammers off, muttering)

Pippin & Merry: ...Okay...

Galadriel: And for sam....some nice, shiny, elven rope!

Sam:...Have you run out of anymore cuisinarts.....

(Elves mutter & whisper profusely "fatty", "...always thinking about food", "...definitely needs a haircut"

Gimli is next inline has hair slicked back and is wearing a corsage.

Gimli: If I said your body was fairer than all the jewels beneath the earth would you hold it against me...O! Say no more...(wink*)

Galadriel: Umm heres some hair from my golden head...

(Galadriel hands Gimli a wig)

Gimli: Rejection...I know thee well...

Frodo: What do I receive my lady?

Galadriel: Well, we're not sure what you wanted...So we narrowed it down to two......A pedicure...or THE LIGHT OF EARENDIL!

(All elves "ooo" and "ahhhh"

Frodo: Ummm....I'll go with....(Jeopardy Music)...The light...!

(Galadriel hands Frodo a flash light)

Frodo: (muttering) Knew I should have went with the pedicure....

Galadriel: Well Nemarie everyone...

(Everyone leaves, except Celeborn who reenters)

Celeborn: Honey...have you seen my flashlight?

LOL!!

...omg! ROTFLMAO!!!

ty!

Your welcome

Chris

what about using your Mojo now?

no2

cry

I only just got it back
I will watch FOTR tonight, and jot down the thing i notice, and do it tomorrow

K

HAHAHAH halarious, this would be such a fun game to play over at the lotr forum at the ob files....BUT i would like to ask if it would be okay to, i want to make sure first

It's free for all as long as you keep the subject - FOTR!

LOL keep the subject FOTR, got it! WOOO im excited! cause this game is so much fun, and the lotr forum over at ob files needs some perking up! WEEEE!

im gonna credit you guys though and say like "This game was originally made by the fabulous LOTR forum at the KMC board"

hehe

Continued....

The Fellowship minus one istari set off down the river anduin.

Cut to: Uruk-Hai running through the forest, in slow motion, them slowing down finally. Lurtz snarls takes out some reading glasses and a map and then violently points in the opposite direction which, after all the uruks about face, run towards.

Cut to: Fellowship reaching Argonath.

Cut to: Lurtz on mapquest.

Cut to: Fellowship reaching Western shore on Amon Hen.

Cut to: Lurtz asking local flora for directions while the other uruks mutter and belittle him under their breath.

Cut to: Camp at Amon Hen.

Gimli: Hey aren't we taking the road through really sharp rocks and a smelly bog?

Aragorn: So?

Gimli: Nah...umm nothing...just wondering if gandalf would approve of this.

Aragorn: Listen hes dead! Now i am the wizard...me, finally me at last (takes out cloak,a fake beard, and a make-shift staff). I applied for the job of head, wizard guide three times in the past 5 years for various quests but just got stuck with the scraggly, dirty ranger/king role. Now its my time!

Gimli whispering to Legolas: I didn't know he was an in the closet wizard?

Legolas: I didn't realize he was even part of our fellowship until a week ago...I keep getting him and the big nosed guy confused...

Uruks show up. Lurtz throws off his GPS locator and engages the fellowship in battle. Frodo escapes and Boromir stranded protecting Merry and Pippin blows his horn.

Legolas: The drum of gondor...

Aragorn: Whoa I don't think its a percussion instrument at all...It has more of woodwind resonation to it...

Gimli: No, no, the intonation eludes to a more vibrant instrument such as the mellophone or one of its brass kin....

Legolas: Its a tympany...

Aragorn: No its a clarinet....

Gimli: Euphonium...

Legolas: Triangle!

Aragorn: Oboe!

Gimli: English HORN!

Cut to: Boromir getting shot 23 times in the chest by arrows, saying, "I hate when they dawdle..."

Aragorn & Lurtz fight...Aragorn defeats Lurtz and Merry and Pippin are placed into one of the uruk hais backpack

Boromir: All is lost...woe is me...

Aragorn: O my fallen brother I will praise your valiant swordswork into the afterlife...Your death shall be avenged....

Boromir: Umm...I think with some medical care there will be a chance for recovery....

Aragorn: Right....ummm...your passing will not be in vain son of gondor....

Boromir: I think I'm gonna pull through....

Aragorn: O had sad it is to see how Boromir, appearing to recuperate, fell of the falls of Rauros to his death...

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli drag Boromir unto one of the boats....

Boromir: What the hell do you think you are doing?

...and push him off the waterfall

Aragorn: Lets find Merry & Pippin, forget Frodo and Sam, Merry & Pippin were so much cooler...

hystericalrolling Oh god

laughing

BRAVO!

*closing credits*

*one year later*

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Balrog: furious Watch me.

Fellowship: Oh no he didnt?

Gandalf: FLAME OF UDUN, DARK FIRE WILL NOT AVAIL YOU!

Audience: didnt we...see this scene last year

Audience member: yeah we did, because gandalf falls

Audience member2: He falls? Oh yeah! Those bastards are making us live it through again cry

*audience are interupted by frodo screaming...*

Frodo: *screaming*

Audience: *interupted*

Gandalf: I can fly, you fools *lets go*

Gandalf: Im defying einstiens theory on gravity!

Balrgo: Is he getting closer? Oh shit he is!

Gandalf: *catches sword* wow, how convenient of that sword to have been there *begings brutally hacking away at balrog*

Balrog and Audience: How come gandalf is resisting the burns

Audience: Why wont the balrog fly out, it has wings

LotR Geek: Actually the wings are made of shadow as is the rest of the body.

Audience member near geek: Wings? wasnt that the band Mcartney fronted after the beatles?

Everyone:

*Falling scene ends and we get a wide shot of a really huge underground river and the balrog and gandalf falling into it*

*balrog promptly goes out*

*gandalfs wet robes stick to his horribly burned skin, which when later peeled off bring an inch of skin with them*

*as we hear the splash in the water frodo wakes up*

Frodo: GANDALF!

Sam: Another bad dream mr frodo?

Frodo: Yes sam, my dear sam...yes

Sam: What about? Not Gandalf again?

Frodo: I woke up and screamed 'gandalf' so im assuming i was having a vision of what i believe to be gandalfs death, you know the same way i had visions of the white tower and the white ships

Sam: No, they were cut from the film, but wow, all your visions involve white things, do you think gandalf will later come back but as gandalf the white?

Frodo: Lay off the hobbit weed sam

Sam: I was being serious mr frodo

Frodo: *into elven cloak hidden mic* Oh shit, peter he is giving away spoilers, how do i distract him!?'

Peter: FOOD! GIVE HIM FOOD!

Frodo: Well...sam, how about some lembad bread?

Sam: *is already eating it* You know my frodo, i dont opt much for foreign food, not after the time i got tapeworm from that 'Gondorian Gut Guzzling Curry' but this elvish stuff, its not too bad

Frodo: Sam, my dear sam, let me turn your comical moment into one of complete and utter homosexuality

Sam: With pleasure mr frodo

the following scene has been editted out due to the breaking of several federal laws

*shot of happy content sleeping hobbits*

*raspy voice*

'Tricksy hobbits'

'Dirty Hobbits' (< This line was edited out of most DVD features as the director thought it hinted too much to the earlier law breaking outake)

*small ugly creature comes on screen*
* then the camera zooms off sam and onto gollum*

Gollum: Tricky dicky hobbitses!

*frodo and same suddenly leap up showing us all they werent asleep and that out thoughts of 'whats going on under that blanket' have a possibility of being true*

*gollum pulls of some quite matriz style moves*

*he headbutts frodo and basicallt molests sam*

*he then gets sam in a choke hold*

*frodo unsheathes his weapon and....edit*


*frodo then unsheashes Sting and threatens gollum with a cut throat*

Gollum: *lets sam go* ......crying


Ense scene

Dont you dare say your writing's gone lame hysterical

LMAO

I dont need to say it
my writing says it for me

my smilies speak a different language

It REALLY is simply hilarious

HA!