Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

You have been taken into the jungle/woods by members of the mutant liberation front and stranded there because you supported the mutant registration act. You hear a rustling and a Bear/gorilla. appears. Who in the forum thinks they can take it, and how would you do it. I am interested to find out as I am going to Canada soon and I hear they have bears there!

take a shot gun ^__^..or else you better be a really fast runner...cos a bear or gorilla would totally merk you

Do I get prep time?

agree.....there is nothing you can do to a bear unless you are a good runner

Well i think you should know that this is the wrong forum for it but...

If you have a spear you can throw yourself on the floor at the last moment setting it against the floor and allowing the weight of the bear to do the work for you. Usually bears are non agressive unless they have a cub though. So if you were actually trying to kill it might let you get really close before showing any agressive behavior. If it runs at you you're not going to out run it, so I hope you're faster than your friends.

Trying to take on a gorilla is generally a bad idea (duh.) but if one attacked you it might be satisfied to just beat you up a bit (just act like you're completley dominated, which shouldn't be hard.)

Do we get any weapons?

Am I in character or out for blood?

They leave you with a knife a bit like that old episode with kirk when he gets chased by the alien and makes a cannon. Prep time only if you can find away to get away from the animal long enough.

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Am I in character or out for blood?

Your choice swanky

i just go into armored form and done.....

Originally posted by colossus17
i just go into armored form and done.....

Then I guess lets be normal as its more inkeeping with the thread

Originally posted by whirlysplat
Your choice swanky
Alright then. Either way, I'd collapse and pretend to be dead. And also either way, I would run away when the bear/gorilla was long gone. Who am I kidding? I'd walk away.

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
Alright then. Either way, I'd collapse and pretend to be dead. And also either way, I would run away when the bear/gorilla was long gone. Who am I kidding? I'd walk away.

That might work with the Gorilla, but the Bear I suspect would eat you.

Nah it'd work with the bear, they're generally not interested in human meat.

To hell with fighting a bear....you can't do shit to get away from 'em.

Gorillas are ground animals, they can't climb trees very well at all.
(orangutans can but gorillas are 99% ground animals)

I'm confident in my ability to give a gorilla a swift kick to the nads if he gets too close, but otherwise id climb a tree and try to throw the knife as best i could. If i miss, ill just like...stay in the tree.

The bear will **** you up no matter what.
The gorilla you have a chance.

Originally posted by long pig
To hell with fighting a bear....you can't do shit to get away from 'em.

Gorillas are ground animals, they can't climb trees very well at all.
(orangutans can but gorillas are 99% ground animals)

I'm confident in my ability to give a gorilla a swift kick to the nads if he gets too close, but otherwise id climb a tree and try to throw the knife as best i could. If i miss, ill just like...stay in the tree.

The bear will **** you up no matter what.
The gorilla you have a chance.

what if the gorilla catches your leg?

Gorillas have been known to rip humans limps off, so i'd probably be ****ed, don't you agree?

Originally posted by long pig
Gorillas have been known to rip humans limps off, so i'd probably be ****ed, don't you agree?

I don't know, maybe

Just stick your hand down your pants and put it out for the gorilla to smell, that oughta send it packing (but don't blame me if it gets frisky.)

Hmmmm, thats a good idea, Gorillas are afraid of huge anacondas.
If i whip i out, he may flee confusing it with a large snake.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAHA
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH!!!!!

I MEANT PULL OUT YOUR HAND!!!!!!

lol, I still think my idea would work.
Cuz, it's massive.
HUGE i tell you HUGE!

I'll just take your word for it man.

Originally posted by long pig
lol, I still think my idea would work.
Cuz, it's massive.
HUGE i tell you HUGE!

it might scare the bear

Originally posted by whirlysplat
it might scare the bear

But then if you're in the tree Tarzan might confuse it for a plant and use it to swing around

~wickerman~

Seriously any other ideas on how to beat these animals

Originally posted by whirlysplat
Seriously any other ideas on how to beat these animals

on my many mountaneering expeditions i've listened to people that on their many expeditions said to have eaten berries from a bush less than 3 feet from a bear. Bears don't attack unless their cubs are in danger/around or if it;'s wintertime and they just woke up. (generally speaking).

~wickerman~

Whirlysplat: Newsflash for you. There are 30 million of us here in Canada, and none of us worries about bear attacks! You will be fine. And like someone elso posted, you don't have to be faster than the bear, just faster than at least one of your friends. :-)
Good luck.

Sorry for the back to back posts, but Whirlysplat....Where in Canada are you going?

Originally posted by bertran
Sorry for the back to back posts, but Whirlysplat....Where in Canada are you going?

Manitoba, I'd still like some self defence tips though bears are scary, thats why we hunted them to extinction in the uk.

Originally posted by whirlysplat
Seriously any other ideas on how to beat these animals
There's slim pickin's for physically beating one of those animals. You could try to gain the animal's trust, get in close, then try to slit its throat. Otherwise you gotta make a trap.

Originally posted by Swanky-Tuna
There's slim pickin's for physically beating one of those animals. You could try to gain the animal's trust, get in close, then try to slit its throat. Otherwise you gotta make a trap.

So maybe bringing food, or seeing if it had a thorn in its paw is the way to go I heard Bears like to dance do you think the speakers for my Ipod would help. Maybe play them something funky?

With prep time I'll certainly try to build up a decent trap to slow down or hurt the legs of the Bear/Gorilla.
We gotta consider that a Gorilla can lift around 2 Tons, that's a lot of strenght against that of a man.It getting to his throat means you must climb on his back and slice the throat quickly, cause if he catch you or hit you, it will be almost the end, the Gorilla is also very fast on the ground but with the surprise element it's possible to outsmart him, especially cause his legs are short, and severally injuring them may mean the victory.
The bear on the other hand, isn't much of a problem, he can slice you, but not punch you as a gorilla can, it can backhand you if we talk of smashing damage, and he's not fast as a gorilla in climbing on trees, so I don't even need a trap for him.

You know what. Bring lots o' food. That way the bear might eat that and then you can run. Don't throw rocks at it unless you absolutely have to. It is tempting though.

Originally posted by K3VIL
With prep time I'll certainly try to build up a decent trap to slow down or hurt the legs of the Bear/Gorilla.
We gotta consider that a Gorilla can lift around 2 Tons, that's a lot of strenght against that of a man.It getting to his throat means you must climb on his back and slice the throat quickly, cause if he catch you or hit you, it will be almost the end, the Gorilla is also very fast on the ground but with the surprise element it's possible to outsmart him, especially cause his legs are short, and severally injuring them may mean the victory.
The bear on the other hand, isn't much of a problem, he can slice you, but not punch you as a gorilla can, it can backhand you if we talk of smashing damage, and he's not fast as a gorilla in climbing on trees, so I don't even need a trap for him.

Wait...you say that you can kill an bear with an knife? It can kill you before it is dead, even if you have stabbed it multiple times. An bear can hit you many times.

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
Wait...you say that you can kill an bear with an knife? It can kill you before it is dead, even if you have stabbed it multiple times. An bear can hit you many times.


how many times do you reckon a bear could hit you Darkcrawler?

Wait...I meant to say that an bear can hit you very fast. The speed was clocked somewhere...

Originally posted by K3VIL
With prep time I'll certainly try to build up a decent trap to slow down or hurt the legs of the Bear/Gorilla.
We gotta consider that a Gorilla can lift around 2 Tons, that's a lot of strenght against that of a man.It getting to his throat means you must climb on his back and slice the throat quickly, cause if he catch you or hit you, it will be almost the end, the Gorilla is also very fast on the ground but with the surprise element it's possible to outsmart him, especially cause his legs are short, and severally injuring them may mean the victory.
The bear on the other hand, isn't much of a problem, he can slice you, but not punch you as a gorilla can, it can backhand you if we talk of smashing damage, and he's not fast as a gorilla in climbing on trees, so I don't even need a trap for him.

How short are a gorillas legs man?

Originally posted by K3VIL
The bear on the other hand, isn't much of a problem, he can slice you, but not punch you as a gorilla can
Bears smash too. Their claws are dull. I'm not sayin' you won't get cut but if you get hit by a bear you're gonna be broken more than slashed.

get as far away as possible, hopefully somewhere the other can't reach you and then use that nifty little mobile phone you have.

~wickerman~

ps: if that doesn't work, try to convine them you're high on colesterole





the bad kind

A person doesn't stand a cat in hell's chance against those two animals.

You might be able to outrun a gorilla, but unlikely a bear.

Both of them have outrageous muscles and can rip people apart.

Both of them get REALLY mad when fighting.

You're unlikely to get attacked though lol.

But if you are, your only chance is a gun really...

A gorilla or bear would destroy any of us unless we had weapons, a lot of prep, or got really lucky.

A better fight would be against the two donkeys in my sig. Longpig already challenged them. Donkeys can kick like mad...one good shot would take a human head off (or at least knock a guy unconscious). My donkeys, in bloodlust mode (assume you took the busted ball they're chewing or something) vs. you! Bring it!

-DM

Would your donkeys be any use against a bear or a gorilla

Originally posted by DigiMark007
A gorilla or bear would destroy any of us unless we had weapons, a lot of prep, or got really lucky.

A better fight would be against the two donkeys in my sig. Longpig already challenged them. Donkeys can kick like mad...one good shot would take a human head off (or at least knock a guy unconscious). My donkeys, in bloodlust mode (assume you took the busted ball they're chewing or something) vs. you! Bring it!

-DM

Originally posted by DigiMark007
A better fight would be against the two donkeys in my sig. Longpig already challenged them. Donkeys can kick like mad...one good shot would take a human head off (or at least knock a guy unconscious). My donkeys, in bloodlust mode (assume you took the busted ball they're chewing or something) vs. you! Bring it!
I'd feed your donkeys an unbalanced diet and then they'd get sick and die.

I always wanted to be a donkey as I often make an ass of myself

Originally posted by whirlysplat
I always wanted to be a donkey as I often make an ass of myself

but think of the size of my willy

Back to the Bear aand Gorilla, they're coming (could be messy)

Originally posted by DigiMark007
A gorilla or bear would destroy any of us unless we had weapons, a lot of prep, or got really lucky.

A better fight would be against the two donkeys in my sig. Longpig already challenged them. Donkeys can kick like mad...one good shot would take a human head off (or at least knock a guy unconscious). My donkeys, in bloodlust mode (assume you took the busted ball they're chewing or something) vs. you! Bring it!

-DM

You know, in Nairobi, Kenya, the shepherds use donkeys to scare off cheetahs from their herds. There are only some animals that don't fear cheetahs. Lions, elephants, and leopards are some. The donkeys don't fear cheetahs, so the cheetahs think that they are as dangerous then the animals metioned before.

So what your saying is a donkey would be a big help. Where could I get one?

From...an...donkey farm?

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
From...an...donkey farm? :

I mean I've seen Donkeysin movies (hush) but your telling me you have them on farms in the US

I have a friend with a goat. But that probably wouldn't help as much. No clue where to find donkeys...I think they're more popular in the Western US...you always see them on those Grand Canyon tours people take.

-DM

P.S. Whirly, gorillas and bears can smell real good...just throw some bacon bits or something down the pockets of whoever your with. You'll have a good 30 second head start while the wild animals maul your traveling companions.

P.P.S. This is ridiculous anyway. I've been to Canada about a half dozen times. Never once seen a bear or gorilla. Unless you're going way up North into the Canadien wilderness, you'll be fine. Just have to watch out for the accents...hehe

So you think I'll be ok?Originally posted by DigiMark007
I have a friend with a goat. But that probably wouldn't help as much. No clue where to find donkeys...I think they're more popular in the Western US...you always see them on those Grand Canyon tours people take.

-DM

P.S. Whirly, gorillas and bears can smell real good...just throw some bacon bits or something down the pockets of whoever your with. You'll have a good 30 second head start while the wild animals maul your traveling companions.

P.P.S. This is ridiculous anyway. I've been to Canada about a half dozen times. Never once seen a bear or gorilla. Unless you're going way up North into the Canadien wilderness, you'll be fine. Just have to watch out for the accents...hehe

Yeah put food in your bag, so that when you feed it and get your thirty second head start it'll be sporting when it runs you down following the sent of your bag.

DO NOT FEED BEARS. They're smart, so they quickly assess humans as a source of food, after being fed once they will approach humans in search of more food. So don't feed bears. Bears that do this have to be killed to protect the human populace, so if you don't care about the humans at least have some consideration for the animals.

(at least that's the American policy. I don't know, maybe Canadian bears eat at diners with people in Canada.)

If your going up against a bear your screwed..if its a gorilla, and its a female...you might have a chance..use a couple of one liners on her and hope for the best..who know's you may even get lucky...

I'd just shoot the dumb animal

Originally posted by eleveninches
I'd just shoot the dumb animal

You'd shoot yourself? Why?!


-DM

sorry to ruin the fun...