Star Wars Versus StoryTime!
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This is the thread that if you find a star wars versus story written by one of our members please repost it in here, to save searching around etc... wasting time trying to find the short stories etc......Or just go ahead and write and add an unposted one....this has become nightly entertainment for me reading these its like free short comics if you use your imagination for the pictures...lol....especially Darth Nefarus' work! But I enjoy reading all....so please start reposting the stories here so we can have them all together and do feel free to comment on them....as all writers like pleasant constructive critisms..... If you dont like the outcome of a story...please feel free to write one of your own showing the outcome you desire...the more reading the better! I have been thinking about actually paying for a website(name yet to be determined ideas welcome) using volunteers....who in there spare time could write these stories and possibly if one of the custom sig builders wanted to volunteer also to make image headers for each story....like blending in a picture of the versus characters for the icon of each story...(click the picture of Maul versus Luke etc...then it links to the story)....would be an excellent place for writers...artists..etc..to be noticed(costs to maintain and advertise the site would easily be made with ads etc..many $ making things to do with a website).... but we will see how many talents there are here first.....until then we have KMC! I've viewed many starwars threads from other forums...sites...but I enjoy KMC the most...is why I only spend my time on this one.... So bring on the stories! Thanks to all writers!
A Darth Nefarus masterpiece:
Setting: Jedi Temple council room. Just assume this is some crazy parallel dimension where Mace was alive and could meet Luke. Also, pretend that the Mace vs. Dooku duel I created happened. Oh, and just pretend sabers can be set to stun, I mean, there are practice sabers.
"So you are the son of the chosen one?"
Luke turned around to see a bald man with dark skin and eyes. He was wearing Jedi robes and garb, with a lightsaber attached to his belt. His presence was powerful, even though he wasn't that much taller or muscular than Luke.
"Chosen One?" Luke asked, not sure what the Jedi was referring to. "My father was Anakin Skywalker. I'm not familiar with him being a chosen one."
"Yoda must not have told you about the prophecy," the Jedi said, sitting in one of the empty chairs. "I remember sitting in this very chair along side master Yoda when we determined your father would not be trained. That rejection, especially from me, may not have been good for him."
Luke came and began to sit, but then moved over a chair in respect of Master Yoda, to which the Jedi nodded.
"You sat on the council with Yoda? What is your name?"
"I am Mace Windu, I'm sure that there aren't any details on my exploits in the archives anymore."
"No, but when I was first training with Yoda he told me many stories of powerful Jedi, including you. He told me that you used a dangerous and unique form of saber techniques."
Mace stood, leaving the robe behind him, bringing his saber to his hand. "Ahh yes, Vaapad, I invented it when I was only 12. I believed that a Jedi needed to be aggressive enough to win a battle, but with a level head to not slip into the darkside. It is not just a style, but a state of mind that uses both sides of the force to completely channel it's flow and make you more effective, especially against evil."
"Then you were the best?" Luke asked, not sure if Mace was hinting at it, or just waiting for a response.
"No," he replied quickly. "Master Yoda was by far superior to me with a saber, and before his turn to the darkside, Count Dooku defeated me as well. However, once he aligned himself with the darkness, it gave me the edge, despite his incredible skill with form 2."
"Form 2, that is the more saber to saber oriented form is it not?" Luke asked, hungry for the knowledge.
"Yes, form 2 was based on defensive manuevers and carious styles of fencing. While it was less effective against a blaster, it was most effective against a saber."
"Could you show me Vaapad?" Luke asked.
"I can spar with you, if that is what you are asking," Mace said, twisting a knob on his saber. "If you would care for a lesson, in Vaapad that is."
Luke smiled and adjusted his saber as well, and removed the extra clothing he did not need. He bowed when he stood and walked several feet away from Mace, bowing once more and saluting him with the saber. Mace nodded, readying his saber and his mind as the force began to fill him. Not only was he using the force, but the darkside was attempting to call upon him, but he knew how to control his thoughts, and focuses on his task.
Mace sprung at Luke with incredible speed, attacking low then overhead, mixing it up as he went. Luke stayed on the defensive, taking notes on Mace' movements. Although it was certainly aggressive like Luke fought, it left less openings. Mace and Luke locked their sabers, and Mace pushed Luke back with a force push, but Luke merely skidded across the floor as he crossed his arms, protecting himself with the force.
Luke came on the attacks now, adapting his style to more fit Mace and his movements. Luke could already see why his techniques were inferior to Master Windu's. He made his swings less broad and kept constant focus on where his feet where in conjunction to his blade.
Mace was in awe of the power from each attack, yet there was no anger channeling throug Mace from Luke. Luke was calm, relaxed and allowing the force to guide him. Mace realized that his powers were not as mighty as Luke's, but then realized he wasn't thinking clearly. Clearly for him anyway. He started to feel the rush of excitement combat gave a person, the spoils of victory and how good it felt to defeat someone with his saber.
Luke was back on the defensive now, as with each swing they came at stranger angles, with more power each time. Luke was worried, and why should he be? This is sparring, and it is between fellow Jedi, there should be no worry in his mind. That was not only a path to the darkside, but it seemed to make Mace more powerful as he did that.
Luke locked sabers again and used his strength to push it to the ground. Mace broke free and brought his saber under Luke's and forward to Luke's stomach. Luke was in the air immediately, flipping overhead Mace and parrying the swing as he went past the Jedi Master.
Luke landed on one of the empty chairs and was quickly followed by Mace. Mace began to drive Luke backward, as they each skipped from chair to chair during the duel. They completed nearly four revolutions around the circle when Luke started to notice the pattern they were in. He concentrated on the force around the next two chairs in the sequence and skipped to the next, focusing on that one specifically. When Mace made it to the particular chair Luke was focusing on, Luke used the force to let it out from under him.
Mace rolled forward, twisting his body to the right, allowing the chair to fall under him, but when he was on his feet again he quickly met sabers with Luke again.
"Resourceful," Mace complimented. "You use a form like your father, but you also fight like Obi-Wan."
Luke was touched by a comment like that. Obi-Wan was like a second father he had, third counting uncle Owen. Mace noticed Luke's concentration break and used a similar trick. He used the force to tip Luke's chair backward, but Luke went to the side, and srung from his free hand, and thrusted forward with his saber. Mace parried, but barely in time as the green glow of Luke's saber nearly struck the tip of his nose.
Luke was in control again, keeping his pace slow, but fast enough to counter Mace's attacks. When Luke blocked a downward swing, he pushed Mace's arms upward and began another leap, twist flipping like he did before, but using the force to propell him into a quick roll when he landed.
Mace through the saber behind his back, not seeing Luke's attack, but expecting it; although he blocked the swing, Luke's saber poked him in the chest a second later. Luke's strike at Mace's back was not an actual strike, but the saber coming forward as Luke rolled, bouncing off of Mace's saber. When Luke completed his somersault, he stabbed backward, over his left shoulder, surprising Mace and himself.
"Indeed you are the son of the chosen one," Mace replied, letting his grip of Vaapad go, despite the minor notions of jelousy and still wanting to win, but they left once Mace's saber was turned off. "Form of your father, the resourcefulness of Obi-Wan, and you use manuevers similar to Master Yoda, whom would be most proud of your skills."
Luke and Mace shared a nod, then turned their attention to the chairs they had knocked over. Each grabbed a chair and carried it back to it's place, then sat in their original spots.
"Wait," Mace said, just before Luke sat again. "Sit in Yoda's former seat. It was meant for the master."
Luke nodded and obeyed, despite the fact he was being called master. They each began to meditate and fell through the force a familiar precense, one who's wisdom could never leave them, even after his death.
"Proud indeed, I am, Luke," Yoda's voice echoed in Luke's mind. "A very powerful Jedi you have become, like your father."
Luke smiled, remembering when he first met Yoda and how hard the old Jedi was on him. He thought back to those days and realized how far he had come, not just as a Jedi, but as a person in general. He remembered how he was afraid to become like his father, afraid of the darkside. But as he proved above Endor's moon, his father still existed in the dark shell of Darth Vader, and Luke was able to return him to the light.
Luke was now glad to be like his father. A good pilot, able to fix things, and above all, the affinity for the power and knowledge to protect the universe from evil.
This pride was unlike other pride; it was something only a Jedi could ever know.
A story from Jackstain:
As obi wan exited his ship, he noticed an erie silence he wasn't accustumed to. He had been told by his master, Qui Gon, that this was the place in which he was to meet him for their most current mission.
After 3 hours of meditation, he had grown too familiar with his surroundings. He realized, then, his master was not coming.......
Who had fooled him into making this trip? More importantly....why? and how?!
He stood and was turning to retreat to his ship and be on his way back to the Jedi temple, when he sensed it....a darkness he hadn't felt before. Twisted, evil, damn right disturbing.
He palmed his lightsaber and stood for a moment, sweating, trying to figure out this unsettling and dark aura he was now surrounded by.
Asajj looked upon her prey from above in the tree-tops. She could feel her anger, hate, and rage flowing. She was almost overjoyed by the sight of the young jedi apprentice...standing, waiting to die. She gazed, waited. Watched the perspiration drip from his forehead. Watched as his hand hovered over and touched his jedi weapon.She had been skilled in tricking him into finding his way out here, and now she knew. It was now, or never.
Obi Wan had just nearly had his head severed from his shoulders, as he tucked and rolled up into a battle-ready, stance of defense. The dark woman with white skin charged him with swinging rage. Her blue and green blades twirling, humming, and flashing with excitement. Obi Wan deflected her two fast-as-lighting attacks to his left side, then to his right. Asajj followed immediately with a spinning attack towards the young jedi's legs. Obi Wan countered with a backflip, and stiff boot to the back of the dark stalker's cleanly shaven head. As she somersaulted on to her feet, she grew enraged, but before she had a chance to attack, the young man was covering her with a flurry of his own..She had underestimated him emensely, and was now paying for it. The form IV skills of the man were more than what she had expected, but not too overwhelming.They fought and fought. She blocked and attacked again, and followed by swinging both sabers from a cross position outward towards his neck. He bent backwards, arching his back, and kicking her right hand. Her blue blade blinked out and the handle flew into the air. Even before its decent, she was in the air, and the saber back in her hand. Igniting it on her way down, and kicking her prey square in the face. Obi Wan had nearly hit the ground, when he felt the dark side of the force lift him from it, and hurl him towrds a tree. His back slammed into it hard, and his lightsaber fell from his hands and rolled into the brush. Asajj had the man, no, boy, right where she wanted him. She lifted and slammed him over and over, cackaling while she did it. This was the end, she would finish it.
Obi Wan stood up slowly, bloddy and broken. He now felt it, something he had never felt but knew what it was as soon as he felt it. He was .angry.......
As she approached him, she lifted one arm in the air above his head, and one horizontal, parallel to the ground near his waist...before she could execute the final blow, hereached out with the force and grabbed his weapon. He tunred as fast as he could and did a running backsault off of the tree his body was beaten against. This entire transaction took no more than 3 seconds.....Flipping over her head, Obi Wan landed behind Asajj, and went for a slash to the mid-section...by way of chance, or luck, she deflected the blow, and the went at it..faster than ever. Flash, crash, clam, slice, blue, green, hum, slam........she tried to defend herself, but time and the jedi's patience, were running low. She knew he was mad. Obi Wan was furiously attacking her, he sliced her blue saber from her hand, and now his blue was wearing down and weakening her green......she swung at his head, and he quickly ducked and slammed his pointed elbow into her chest as hard as he could. She stumbled backward and fell. He then realized.....what was he doing? calling upon hate? Taking out his anger....these were not the way of the jedi. He slowly calmed himself, and backed up, waiting for her advancement. He would kill her, but he would do it the way he was supposed to...the way he was taught.
Asajj rose to her feet, and glared at OBi wan. Why did he hesitate...why not kill her? Why was he just standing there?! Stupid Jedi!
She ran towards him angrier than ever...swung hard at him...with a move as quick as lightning, obi wan deflected her blade,ducked under her, followed through with a roundhouse kick to the back of her....and spun towards her, slicing the top of her scalp clean off.
He de-activated his blade, hung it from his belt, and slowly walked back to his ship. Breathing somewhat heavily, and knowing that he would never reach to that side he had reached toward that night ever again. He would not become what he had just destroyed.
He was better than that.
He was a Jedi.
Darth Maul vs. Count Dooku
"Count Dooku," a dry voice called from the shadows. "I'm so glad you could meet me here."
Count Dooku studied the emerging figure from the shadows. It was a man, that much he could see from the face hidden by the hood. He was shorter than Dooku, and he sounded roughly the same age, but something was very off about this man.
"Who are you? What do you want?" Dooku asked.
"I understand that you have resigned from your duties as a Jedi Knight," the voice croaked.
"Yes, but how did..." Dooku began to say before he was cut off.
"I know because it is my business to know. That is what a Sith does."
"A Sith?" Dooku asked. He had read about them in the archives when he was a teenager. "How is it possible that you are a Sith and the Jedi are unaware of your presence?"
"The Jedi are blinded by the corruption of their bickering senate," the hooded one said. "They foolishly serve a body of fools who want nothing more than to fulfill their own desires. You know this."
Dooku did know it. In fact, it was one of the contributing reasons as to why he left the Jedi order. The Jedi had a profound knowledge and power, that wasted away at the demands of lesser beings that could only argue, never actually solve anything.
"I admit that the senate is weak, and change is in order, but what do you propose?" Dooku asked, still attempting to see under the hood.
"Join me. Together, we will create an army so grand the republic will have no choice but to bow to our demands and we will gain control over the galaxy. It will all be ours."
"The Jedi would never allow such a thing," Dooku said.
"The Jedi do not have the power to stop a Sith Lord, if they did, would your former apprentice not still be alive?"
Dooku was struck very personally by those words. He and Qui-Gonn were very close, almost as close as family. The death of his former apprentice was one of the final straws in his decision to leave the order. Had the Jedi been more outspoken, and adhered to their own philosphies, Qui-Gonn may have lived.
"Were you the one who killed Qui-Gonn?" Dooku asked, as his fingers were anxiously waiting to grab his lightsaber.
"No. I am Darth Sidious, Darth Maul was responsible for that. He is useful, but not for what I have in mind. You, you on the other hand are wealthy, powerful, wise, and your exploits as a negotiator are well documented. Star systems would be most eager to serve under a man like you."
"Tell me then, where is this Darth Maul?" Dooku asked, as the anxiety increased.
"He will be here any moment, eager to tell me of the Jedi he killed I am sure. The Jedi order is failing Count, and you know this. As long as they use the force to serve a senate that doesn't even care for them, they will eventually be destroyed. Join me, and I will show you things the Jedi could only dream of. Powers far beyond those of all the Jedi you knew, even Master Yoda."
Dooku was skeptical, at first. Master Yoda, over 800 years old. The wisest Jedi he had ever known, yet with all his power he was still foolish enough to serve the corrupt senate. Yes, this offer might be what was for the good of all in the galaxy.
"What must I do?" Dooku asked as the alluring power of the darkside began to sink into him.
"There can only be two Sith at a time. You must face Darth Maul, and take his place at my side. But don't do it for me, do it for yourself. You know you want revenge for Qui-Gonn's death, and you know that the Jedi would never allow an act of vengeance to occur. Would they?"
Dooku shook his head, "No, you're right. Tell me more of these powers and how I can acquire them."
"First things first. You must kill Darth Maul. Focus your rage, and your need for revenge, then take it. Only with the darkside of the force will you attain the power necessary to defeat him, and rule the galaxy with me."
"Very well, I will kill Darth Maul," Dooku said.
Darth Sidious smiled. he could feel the darkside enveloping the Count. He could feel the anger at the Jedi and the hatred for losing Qui-Gonn. The smile grew wider as he felt more of the darkside, but from a different source.
Darth Maul had returned.
"He is here," Sidious said. "Waste no time and show no mercy, for he showed none when he killed Qui-Gonn, I assure you."
Darth Maul came into the room with his hood over his face. He could feel the awesome power from his master, but at the same time, another source of power was nearby. He rushed into the main hangar where his master was standing with... a Jedi?
"Master," Darth Maul said, rushing forward and dropping to a knee at his master's side. "I bring good news, I..." he was forced to stop as he rolled to the side to dodge the blue blade that nearly split him in half.
"Darth Maul, I hereby relinquish you from your position as a Sith Lord," Dooku said confidantly, saluting his opponent with his saber.
Maul looked to Sidious' evil grin with pure hatred. "So, he's trying to replace me," Maul thought. "Then I shall have to kill him when I am finished with this Jedi," the word almost burned his insides when he thought about it.
Maul readied his saber and came forward, swinging with all of his might at the old Jedi's head. Quicker than Maul expected, came a parry from the right hand, only the right hand. Maul began to notice as they traded blows that this Jedi was far superior to the ones he had met earlier. He was poised, controlled, and would not make mistakes.
Dooku was noting the way Maul moved as well. It reminded him of his sparring sessions with Master Windu. Though Windu was an intense fighter, this Darth Maul seemed to be more so. But then again, he was of the darkside.
Dooku parried Maul's blade to the side and struck him with a left hook. Maul went with the hook and spun his leg around, kicking Dooku in the chest. Dooku had not been struck in combat in some time, which sent him into further rage. Calling upon all of his hatred Dooku shot a hand forward and sent Maul flying backward across the room.
Maul landed hard on his back, but rolled backward to his feet again. He glanced over to Sidious, who was still grinning maliciously.
"Is that the best you can do?" Sidious' voice spoke to Maul. "You are a Sith, he is a Jedi, I shouldn't have to council you!" the voice roared.
Maul pictured that Dooku was Sidious and came forward with a renewed fury. He blocked a downward swing, and sent another kick into the Count's chest, but Dooku was ready for it, and dodged to the side. Maul blocked upward again, only this time he flipped backward, kicking the Count square in the face, knocking him backward.
Maul smiled as Dooku's eyes pierced into his. Maul came forward and began forcing Dooku on the retreat, using all of his dark powers in his attacks. Dooku parried continuously, keeping his feet balanced, and noting Maul's cockiness.
"So sure of victory are you," Dooku said, parrying a swing aside with ease.
"You're not the first Jedi I killed today," Maul replied with delight.
Now there was no turning back for Dooku. His hate along with his classical combat style were completely controlling him. Maul's intensity would increase every time Dooku parried a swing. Maul was becoming frustrated, and Dooku knew this.
Dooku stored the hatred inside him for the perfect moment, as Maul's saber relentlessly clashed into his own. Finally the moment came as Dooku parried to the right, then unleashed all of his fury.
Dooku moved faster than Maul could believe, parrying another swing, then using both hands to wind the saber behind him, then bring it crashing down into Maul's left hand.
Maul dropped to the ground as the pain surged through him, his saber falling to the side. Dooku stood above him, fully entrenched by the dark energies that were now taking control of him.
"DO IT," Sidious said eagerly. "FINISH HIM AND YOUR REVENGE WILL BE COMPLETE."
Maul's ignored the pain and called his lightsaber to his right hand with the force, hoping for one final stand. The saber never made it to him.
Dooku, swung down to the left, severing both Maul's hand and the saber that was flying toward it. Maul dropped further to the ground, cupping his newest wounded hand and watched in horror as Dooku brought his saber down without remorse into Maul's chest.
"For Qui-Gonn," Dooku told himself as he not only stabbed into Maul, but worked the blade around in Maul's insides, making sure it was over.
Dooku was breathing heavily as Sidious came forward, clapping in delight. Dooku deactivated his lightsaber and bowed his head in respect. He was now a tool of the darkside.
"Kneel Count Dooku," Sidious said, then using his hand to almost lift Dooku himself, he said, "Rise, Darth Tyrannus."
Dooku stood and bowed again, completely fulfilled by the darkside in a way he never thought possible. Visions of conquering the republic and destroying the senate and the Jedi ran wildly through his head. Then, he saw himself standing over Sidious himself, and becoming the master, and he couldn't have been happier.
Mace deflected the incoming blaster shots andused a force push to dispose of his attackers as they were sent through the air, crashing into the wall and into several pieces. As he turned back he met Dooku's humming red blade and his ever confidant eyes.
"Master Windu, are you surprised that you still cannot defeat me?"
Dooku teased as he easily twisted the Jedi's blade around harmlessly, using only one hand and keeping his feet firmly in the ground.
With a very cold stare shadowed by anger, Mace replied, "You've joined the darkside, you are already defeated."
Dooku's smile dropped to seriousness as Mace rushed forward and flipped over the Sith, slicing downward as he twisted over the top of Dooku's head. Dooku's feet were still planted, but as time increased, and Mace's energy never seemed to decrease, Dooku parried his opponent's blade aside and force pushed his former Jedi brother backward.
Mace brought his elbows to his chest as his fists clenched near his mouth. His eyes were shut and his lightsabre was in front of him. Dooku was an oppurtunist and thrusted forward, using the full extent of his powers to pierce through Master Windu's heart.
Mace did not need to see the blow now, he could feel it, completely attuned to the force he felt the incoming attacks, and the increasing anger inside Dooku.
Dooku began hacking madly, losing his composure which was essential to his stance. Mace was counting on that, he was hoping for that, and he was waiting for...
"Look at me when I am killing you!" the Sith screamed as he raised his other hand and fired a volley of force lightning at Mace, who stood firm, allowing his blade to absorb the dark energy.
Dooku increased the power from his anger and continuously fired volley after volley, until Mace finally opened his eyes.
Dooku's eyes revealed worry and that was when Mace made his move. Ducking, and rolling underneath Dooku's blade and lightning. As he came up he allowed Dooku to block the swing so he could plant a solid side kick into the Sith Lord's stomach.
Dooku immediately fired another current of lightning toward his former ally, but this time it was Mace's hand that was blocking the lightning, infuriating the count as to why his powers were failing him. Mace began slashing forward from several upward angles, crossing back with swings to the side. Dooku continuously parried aside the shots, using every ounce the darkside could fill his body, and soul. His eyes began glowing in a dark and strange yellow-orange blend, burning through his own pupils and into Mace's face.
Mace was now on the defensive, having to block swings from his upper left, while darting or blocking the lightning on his right. Dooku halted long enough to take his stance, his right foot forward, his left behind him and turned to the side. Mace locked his blade to Dooku's and planted his feet similarly, using all of his force abilities to keep Dooku locked in the stalemate with him.
The struggle was continuing for several moments, the blades being pushed back between the combatants faces repeatedly as Dooku could feel his opponent begin to weaken.
The lightning was now becoming too much for Mace, and he knew it. He moved his right hand slowly toward his sabre as Dooku's lightning followed. Dooku was unsure what he was doing, and immediately swithed the lightning to attack the sabre hand, hitting the blade, but still managing to course into his arm. Mace's other hand reached his hilt as his blade managed to hold off both Dooku's sabre and force lightning, long enough for the lightning to travel down Dooku's own sabre.
Before Dooku realized it, he was being scorched by his own dark powers and propelled though the air by an incredible force push from master Windu released.
Dooku was against the wall and leaning against it, trying to get up when Mace jumped forward bringing his sabre into a colossal downward swing aimed for the Count's head. Dooku attempted a parry as Mace knew he would. Which is why at the last moment he changed his focus and when he landed on the ground the two halves that once made Dooku's lightsabre were lying next to the fallen Sith.
Mace's blade rested an inch away from Dooku's chin as Dooku stared up in awe.
"It is over, Count," Mace said as he went backward half of a step, singaling for Dooku to rise, which he did obediently.
Before the glory would be his, Master Windu reacted to the oncoming blaster shots from a vessel floating above them. Several droids along with a dark cloaked figure watched on.
"Come Lord Tyrannus," the figure said as Dooku immediately used his last bit of strength to hover to the ship.
Mace attempted to grab Dooku, but the shadowy figure waved his hand and suddenly Mace could not use his legs.
"Your time will come soon enough, Master Windu," a dried out, yet strangely familiar voice echoed in the Jedi Master's mind.
Mace struggled to free his legs as the ship began to fly away, but it was no use.
"The Dark Lord of the Sith, no doubt," Mace thought outloud as the ship dissapeared from sight, along with the grip over his legs.
"The Sith Master is nearly in our reach. I hope the chosen one is ready."
And this one:
Obi-Wan picked up Anakin's lightsaber, admiring the quality and the similarities to his own. Anakin was like his brother, and now he was gone, forever.
Obi-Wan did his best to wipe the tears from his face, but for every tear he removed two more poured from his eyes. He and Anakin had been like brothers, like father and son, until Palpatine entered the picture.
For the first time since watching Qui-Gonn die, Obi-Wan felt hatred. He thought about how Sidious, rather, Emperor Palpatine had been deceving everyone all these years. How the Jedi order were wiped out on account of his lies. How his apprentice killed Obi-Wan's master, how his next apprentice had started the clone wars, and how Palpatine caused Obi-Wan's own apprentice to betray him and the Jedi.
"I hope Master Yoda defeated Sidious," Obi-Wan thought, as he could finally stop the river of tears from flowing from his eyes. "It is not like a Jedi to act this way, but what is there left now?"
Obi-Wan suddenly felt his emotions take hold of him once more as a dark and distubring ray of pure evil cast it's eye over him. He looked upward to see a ship landing, and with every passing second the evil, the malic intensified, until he saw the embodiement of the darkside.
Though he was hooded and walking slowly, Obi-Wan could sense it was him. Not just through the force, but the foul stench that came with his decaying body. Obi-Wan did his best to let go of his feelings, but after everything Sidious had caused, it was proving to be too difficult.
"Master Kenobi?" Sidious asked, almost surpsrised. "Are you STILL alive?" his voice croaked out with more venom.
"It will take more than a droid general and one of YOUR apprentices to destroy me, your highness," Obi-Wan said, mocking Sidious' grasp of power over the galaxy.
"General Grievous was expendable. But Darth Vader..." Sidious paused as his eyes began to glow a brighter yellow through the shadow of his hood. "He was PERFECT! He was MINE! And YOU stole him from me, just like Darth Maul."
"Darth Maul should have been more aware of his surroundings," Obi-Wan replied. "If only he had a better teacher."
Sidious cackled with delight at Obi-Wan's attempt to insult him.
"A better teacher? Like Qui-Gonn Jinn? Was he not your master that Darth Maul killed? Or maybe you refer to Master Yoda? another fallen Jedi."
Obi-Wan's heart began to skip every other beat. Fallen? Master Yoda? Defeated? No, it couldn't be.
"You lie, just like all the other Sith scum."
"You know Master Yoda came to face me, but here I stand, not him."
Obi-Wan's heart sank. This was becoming too much now. He had to destroy Anakin just moments ago. Padme was likely dead, along with all of the Jedi that this "Emperor" betrayed. And if what Sidious said was true, and Yoda was defeated, then Obi-Wan vowed to all of the spirits of the fallen Jedi that the order would not go down without a fight.
"As much of a thorn in my side as you have been all these years Kenobi, you have proven your worth countless times over. Defeating Darth Maul when you were merely a padawan, and now, defeating Darth Vader, whom I believed was invincible. There are two ways the Jedi order will end today Kenobi, either with you at my side, or my saber inside you. Make your choice."
Obi-Wan needed no time to choose. It was simple. The last of the Jedi and the last of the Sith. Activating both his and Anakin's sabers, he readied himself for his final stand. He kept Anakin's saber low, and used his own to beckon Sidious forward.
"So, you choose death," Sidious said, as the hum of his red lightsaber ignited.
"I choose the force," Obi-Wan retorted.
Obi-Wan had seen many battles, in the clone wars alone, during his years. He had fought many enemies, some with blasters, and some with lightsabers. But nothing he had ever done before had prepared him for this.
Within less than a second Obi-Wan found himself using both sabers to furiously, and barely keep at pace with Sidious. He had never seen such control, such technique, even when he fought Grievous. Grievous may have had four arms, but they were nothing compared to the whirling blur that was Sidious right arm.
Sidious began to think he was premature to invite Kenobi to join him. He was a skilled warrior yes, but he was only able to barely keep himself alive. He lacked the spirit of his past apprentices, the eagerness, the will to win. That was what made a Sith great, and that was fueling Sidious to destroy Kenobi once and for all.
Obi-Wan was forced to use both sabers to parry and block each swing from Sidious' blade. Not only was Sidious clearly faster than he, but with one arm alone he had more power than both of Obi-Wan's. Finally Obi-Wan caught a break in Sidious relentless offense, as he scissored Sidious blade to the ground, locking it there.
Obi-Wan was too busy trying to stay alive to even realize that Sidious other hand was free. But he had no choice but to realize it as a wave of lightning, filled with the power of the darkside, wrenched through his already tired body. As if he were a children's you, Obi-Wan was propelled back nearly ten meters.
Obi-Wan was severely weakened from the blast, but unlike what Sidious had thought, there was much will left in the Jedi. He wouldn't let it end this way, he couldn't, not after everything he had seen and been through. Mustering all of the strength of the force he could, Obi-Wan slowly started to climb to his feet, both sabers still ready.
Sidious was laughing maniacally, as he deactivated his saber, slowly coming forward. Obi-Wan cared little for what Sidious' intentions were and once the Sith was close enough he stabbed forward from the left.
Sidious bobbed, weaved, darted, ducked, and occasionally lept out of the way of every swing Obi-Wan made. Obi-Wan realized that not only was he completely outmatched, but that Sidious was enjoying the fight. He could have ended it already, but he was prolonging Obi-Wan's suffering.
"You don't know how much damage you have caused Kenobi," Sidious said as he ducked and contorted his body to dodge the oncoming swings. "Darth Vader was one of the keys to my empire, and now he's gone, all because you were jealous of his power."
"I was never jealous of Anakin," Obi-Wan said, failing several more swings from each blade. " Anakin and I cared for one another, something you could never do."
"Then why did he join ME? Why did he turn his back on YOU?" Sidious said, stepping back a few feet and resting his hands at his sides. "Because you are a FAILURE of a Jedi!"
Obi-Wan could feel the darkside calling to him now, and in hte midst of his anger he took both sabers and sliced at Sidious' head, like a pair of scissors cutting a finger.
Sidious didn't move, he didn't flinch, he merely stood there, calling upon more of his dark sorcery. Obi-Wan's blades were inches away from Sidious' deformed face now, but Obi-Wan could feel the darkness spreading througout his insides now. Slowly, it began to control his thoughts, making him feel the fear and anger over Anakin, and the more these thoughts continued, the closer his own blades were coming at his head.
"Young fool!" Sidious screamed with a venomous smile. "Your pathetic skills cannot save you from the darkside!"
Obi-Wan struggled with all of his physical and spiritual strength to keep the blades back, but it was doing no good. They were coming closer, and closer, and closer. It seemed the more he focused on stopping them, the more Sidious' powers intensified. Sidious was right, the force could not save him now.
With their concentration levels locked so tightly in their duel, neither Jedi nor Sith managed to notice the approaching starship. It was low to the ground, too low, and slightly off balance, and heading straight for them.
One of the wings of the ship nearly took Sidious' head off, causing the Sith Lord to break his concentration long enough to look at the ship, giving Obi-Wan the only oppurtunity he had.
Calling upon the last ounce of the force in his body, Obi-Wan leaped forward, propelling himself off of Sidious' shoulders and launching in the air toward the ship. This knocked Sidious back, but not long enough to not make an attempt to stop Kenobi.
Obi-Wan landed in the open doorway of the ship and turned around as both of his sabers, and majority of his body intercepted another blast of that deadly lightning Sidious loved so much. He flung back violently into the wall of the ship, dissapearing from Sidious' sight as the ship began to fly into the distance.
Sidious would have been able to stop the ship, but a clone trooper came from behind him.
"Your highness, we've found him!"
Sidious turned to the clone trooper, then back to the ship, now leaving the atmosphere of the planet. Sidious couldn't believe it, Obi-Wan had escaped his grasp once again! There was too much rage inside of him now, as he spun around and flung all of his furious lightning into the unsuspecting clone, who had no choice but to join the afterlife.
Sidious marched forward back to his ship where he could see Anakin's mangled form inside a glass tube. As badly as the boy was injured, Sidious could still feel his presence, somewhere in the madness that is the darkside.
Boarding the ship and following the capsule, Sidious' anger turned into hope. If Vader could live still, then he would still have an apprentice. But what he hoped more for, was vengeance on Kenobi, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before Darth Vader finally put an end to that miserable Kenobi.
By: Darth Nefarus
"Master Yoda" Qui-Gonn said, bowing his head in respect, along with a salute with his saber.
"Master Qui-Gonn," Yoda replied, returning a similar nod and salute.
Qui-Gonn circled around Yoda keeping his saber poised and ready. Master Yoda was incredibly skilled at leaping in at an opponent when they least expected it, but Qui-Gonn knew he what to expect.
Or so he thought.
Yoda leaped forward, not to strike with his saber, but with his hand. The slap came across Qui-Gonn's face as he parried Yoda's saber to the side. Qui-Gonn was angered at first, but he understood Yoda's intentions.
Yoda tried again, but Qui-Gonn dodged backward, and sent a kick flying upward. The kick caught Yoda in the back of his foot and it sent the small Jedi flipping to the ground.
"Uh-Oh," Qui-Gonn thought.
Yoda use his mistake and began twisting and darting above and around Qui-Gonn, making his saber work much hard than he had ever had to against Count Dooku.
Yoda admired Qui-Gonn's ability to keep his feet planted as he parried the attacks. It was unorthodox for Qui-Gonn as he was usually a form 4 practitioner, and his movements were reflecting his former teacher, Count Dooku.
Qui-Gonn started to move his feet now, letting the living force guide his actions. As if he were dancing Qui-Gonn began to flip over the much smaller Yoda with carefully aimed swings at his master's chest. Yoda was ready for them, but was unable to counter while Qui-Gonn was in the air.
Although Yoda was not worried about outlasting Qui-Gonn, he was determined to win this sparring session. Yoda flipped backward into the wall, springing off of it, flying into Qui-Gonn's chest. Qui-Gonn attempted to parry and disarm Yoda, but he was striking and leaping past him too fast for that to work. He needed a new strategy...
Yoda was bouncing between the wall, Qui-Gonn's saber and the next wall and back and forth. Qui-Gonn was doing well, but he was gaining no advantages this way.
Suddenly as Yoda sprung off of a wall, Qui-Gonn flipped toward his Master, twisting his body with the flip, throwing off Yoda's attack and putting his master on the defensive.
Magnificent flashes of green on green sabers decorated the room as the Yoda continusouly sprung off the walls in the same pattern. Qui-Gonn was in his own pattern, flipping over Yoda continuously and attempting to mount an offense.
Qui-Gonn was getting closer with each flip to Yoda's exposed back, knowing that if he waited long enough, and timed it just right he could emerge victorious. After several more twists he was ready for his plan to unfold. Noe for the timing...
Qui-Gonn flipped over Yoda and made no attempts at an attack, which was risky, for if Yoda were to swing it would be over immediately. Yoda thrusted forward, much to Qui-Gonn's delight as he brought his saber toward Yoda's back as he was coming to the ground.
The force can do many things; things the average person cannot do, things no one believe possible, and Qui-Gonn understood this much more as Yoda blocked the swing he didn't even see coming.
Yoda was planning as well. After blocking the swing, he used the force to still fall straight to the ground, flipping to the ground and kicking Qui-Gonn in his main saber hand in the process. Yoda landed on the ground and spun around with a swing that knocked Qui-Gonn's saber aside.
Qui-Gonn immediately called through the force and brought his saber to him, but Yoda knew it was coming and completed the second part of his plan. He pointed the saber to Qui-Gonn's chin, two inches away as he flipped in the air, catching Qui-Gonn's saber before it could reach him.
Yoda's blade never moved during the maneuver and Qui-Gonn suddenly felt the energy from his own saber resting near his side.
"Well done Master," Qui-Gonn said. "It would seem that youth is no match for experience," he said with a smile.
Yoda deactivated Qui-Gonn's saber, nodded and handed the hilt to him.
"Much one learns, in 800 years, Master Qui-Gonn," "Things there are, you can teach me as well."
"If I could ever teach you anything Master, I would be honored, but I am merely a padawan compared to your insight."
"Flattering is not necessary, but certainly welcome," Yoda replied in that grand fatherly laugh Qui-Gonn remembered from his youth.
"Most welcome," Yoda said, reaching to his cane through the force as he begin to walk away.
And mine... which was so far back I spent ten minutes looking for it..
The door closed behind him, bolts clicking into place and the hiss of gas being released echoed in the large open chamber. Before him, in a half circle, were a series of elevated platforms, each home to tanks. These tanks were in turn homes to fallen warriors. Jedi who had been taken and all but slain by the Sith. They floated inside the tanks, eyes closed, looking like some sort of vile overgrown fetus. The sight of seeing so many in such a position did little for the observer's mood.
But these medical monstrosities were not the focus of his eyes. No, before him stood his old apprentice, Malak. His skin tinged pink and red from the glow of his ready lightsaber, the former apprentice turned betrayer gazed back at Revan, his expression reveiling nothing. If the taller Sith lord had had a lower visage, it might have been a smug grin. In any case, Revan was not here for sharing expressions. He was here to finish what he had started.
"I knew those droids would be unable to stop you." Malak began, his artificial voice echoing endlessly in the metal chamber. "Even my apprentices fell before your lightsaber. You are indeed stronger than ever." Was that a touch of fear in that raspy voice? Revan thought as much.
"Stronger than you have ever been, Malak. You were foolish to think you could usurp my title and control the Star Forge." Revan sneered. He had not yet drawn his lightsaber.
"You were weak, Revan. You have ever been weak. You surround yourself with pawns like this is some dejarik board, and you manipulate them to your whim, but you have always been weak. And it is by your teachings that I did as I did. The teachings of the Sith." Malak leaned forward, eyes aglow. "Do you understand the depth of the power you once possessed? Do you understand just how narrowly you escaped death at my hands?"
Revan's lightsaber flashed from nowhere, twirling in his hand as easily and coming about, pointed at Malak. The former master's eyes narrowed, his look one of determination. The determination that had turned the war against the Republic for the Republic. The same determination that had met death a hundred times and sent it packing each and every time.
And the rest
I understand that you will die here, Malak. You have earned your death here, at my hands through your treachery and your ignorance."
Malak scoffed, the metallic echo suddenly being drowned out by the hum of his own blade as he spun it amazingly fast around in one hand. Then, they came together, blades hitting one another with full force. Though Malak was the bigger and the stronger, Revan's own strength came from the Force and flowed easily through his body. They remained locked there for a few moments until Malak pushed himself back. Revan came forward and then darted to one side, evading the deceptive slash of the taller sith lord. They went at it in earnest, blades flashing. The steady hum of the sabers moving and clashing reverberating throughout the metal chamber like some demented choir.
The battle raged on, with Malak seemingly having the advantages with his long arms and long blade, and his amazing agility for being so tall. But in truth he was only barely able to keep pace with Revan, who was seemingly dancing with blade in hand. The latter faught fluidly and without undo pause, creating a myriad dance of death. And though Malak laughed and taunted, it was he who was hard pressed. The dance finally died down when the apprentice found himself backed into a wall. Revan came at him with a swift thrust, but Malak batted the blow aside and flipped back, kicking off the wall and landing on the other platform, much higher. He turned to Revan and laughed his eerie, unnatural laugh.
"You presume to defeat me here? In the very heart of the Star Forge? I cannot be beaten."
Revan watched Malak and came closer with measured steps. "I have always been your better, Malak. Do not forget that so easily in the face of cheap power."
"You fool! I have tapped power you cannot even begin to imagine!" And with that Malak reached out his hand, pointed at one of the nearby tanks. Energy flashed, jumping from his hand to the floating Jedi husk, and then back. The waves crackled around Malak's tall frame, and he laughed moreso.
Seemingly rejuvenated, Malak leapt at his former master, saber flashing, a long red blur. But Revan was anticipating such a bold and arrogant attack, sidestepping and kicking the sith lord to the ground. He then came out Malak as the latter rose, his lightsaber nipping and biting at the other's defenses. The dance began again, with Malak more easily keeping up the rhythm. Several times Revan was forced to duck an uncomfortably close swing, or otherwise take to the defensive. Finally, Revan had Malak close to the edge, the apprentice batting furiosly to keep his balance.
"Your time is up, Malak." Revan spoke in between swings.
"Impossible. You cannot defeat me. I have the power here. I have the advantage!" But his sentence was cut short as Revan drew on the Force, launching Malak several meters into a nearby tank. Struggling to rise, Malak's hand came to touch the cool glass. With an artificially enhanced, yet still primal growl in his throat, Malak once again used that dark power, sapping the life force from this Jedi and regaining strength. He stood and turned to face Revan, eyes ablaze with hate.
"I should have properly killed you when I had the chance!" He fumed, coming forward with his blade a blur of red.
"You never have had the chance." Revan replied heatedly, and met the charge with one of his own. In that moment, they came at one another with full hate bared. Where there had been comraderie and friendship, even mentorship, only pure and flowing emotion remained in the form of mutual hate. It would have been a profound moment to a keen observer, but alas only the near-dead Jedi in the tanks could bear witness to the following display. The strikes, the parries, everything was nothing short of breathtaking. In this following few minutes, the two spoke with blades what words could never impart.
But it came to an end when Malak overextended himself for a downward swing, hoping to batter down his old friend or cleave him in twain. He knew immediately of his fatal mistake as Revan's own blade pierced his chest, the burn of the lightsaber a thousand times hotter than anything he had ever experienced. The wound was made and sealed instantly, and Malak fell back, his eyes staring up at the ceiling but he could not comprehend it, so great was his pain.
Revan stood over his former apprentice and friend, looking down into those fading eyes. Malak moved slightly, but it was a mere twitch. Then, the voice came up to his ears, that enhanced, artificial voice.
"You... You were right. You are my superior, Revan. You... always have been." A cough. Malak's eyes fluttered, and one pale hand came up to clutch feebly at Revan's robes. "Tell me... If our roles had been reversed... If it had been me, and not you to be taken... Would you have hunted me? Would you have destroyed me?"
Revan's face was a mask, but his voice came readily enough. "No, you would have come for me. And I would have defeated you, as I have now."
Malak laughed, a weak gesture. "I do not think... that had I could have overcome so much... I have failed, haven't I? In everything?"
Revan only looked impassively. If he was bothered or hurt by the questions, the sight, he did not show it. "You have failed in your ambitions, Malak. You did not have the ability or the wisdom to see your own mistakes. And for that, you will die."
Malak closed his eyes. "Then I shall die as nothing..." This last word coming out as a metallic hiss.
The battle was ended. And Revan had overcome his wayward apprentice. He looked up, watching the battle rage on outside through the Star Forge's windows. Ships exploding in crimson balls, lasers both red and green crisscrossing the entire view... And then he turned away, cloak trailing behind him. There was still another battle to be fought and won...
This is so SWEET! I had no idea Darth Janus you wrote too....I like it! Thanks all and keep em coming!
I am working on Mace versus Revan, but I need to finish Shatterpoint. I might do something else on the side... Any suggestions?
I will meditate on the matter...lol....drunk...I do my best thinking when Im in full meditation....
Ulic vs. Malak would be cool.
Emperor Palpatine had not been this uneasy in decades. His apprentice, Darth Vader, was sudenly different. Disoeying orders, failing to deliver Skywalker, and worst yet, feeling Skywalker when the Emperor could not. Could it be? Was it even possible for Vader to turn from the darkside. It seemed certain when Vader first learned of his wife's death that he would be a slave to the darkside forever, but now...
"Anakin will fulfill the prophecy," a voice said from behind.
Sidious spun his chair around to see the room empty, save for the guards in red armor near the elevator. They never spoke unless spoken to, so it couldn't have been them.
"He is the chosen one," the voice called again.
"Who's there?" Sidious asked, searching with his eyes and the force for a presence.
At first there was nothing, the room was still empty. Then, as impossible as it seemed, a robed figure began to take shape before Sidious' eyes. He had a blue aura around his body, not enough to change the colors of his appearance, merely enough to alter them slightly. Sidious had never heard of anything like this before, and he could feel the power of the force emanating from this figure, and it scared him.
"Who are you?" Sidious' dry and old voice screamed. "Tell me or I will kill you!"
"That would be interesting," the figure said, removing his hood with his hands. Sidious yellow eyes widened to try and understand if he really were seeing this person before him. He had been dead for years, killed by a former apprentice of Sidious, yet here he stood.
"You cannot avoid your destiny," Qui-Gonn said.
"My destiny?" Sidious scoffed. "I am destiny. The "chosen one" is mine, as will be his son! I am the greatest Sith ever!" Sidious realized he wasn't just trying to convince Qui-Gonn, but himself.
"Anakin is not yours, he belongs to the force. The force will reclaim the chosen one, and you will meet your end."
Sidious had had enough. His eyes began glowing brighter and he raised his hands, casting his deadly blast of force lightning. No one was immune to it's incredible power and tortuous effects. (Sorry if tortuous isn't a word lol)
Qui-Gonn looked down to see the lightning that was attempting to corrupt his skin, and let out an amused "hmph." The lightning was making contact with him, but there was no pain, there was nothing, merely the force defeating the darkness.
Sidious' powers were doing absolutely nothing against the Jedi before him, yet they had never failed him. More and more hatred surged through Sidious' deformed body before he finally stopped. With a flick of his wrist, Sidious' lightsaber was in his hand and he rushed forward, using hte full might of his dark powers to aid his swing.
With little effort, Qui-Gonn grabbed Sidious' hand at the wrist, and held it steady. Sidious was focusing in on bringing the saber to Qui-Gonn's head, but was stopped by the sudden burning of his wrist. Never had he felt such incredible pain. Such a pureness of the force was the complete opposite to everything he had come to know of the force.
Sidious brought his other hand to his wrist, and pumped more of his powers and hatred into his objective, to kill the Jedi before him. Slowly, the pain began to dissapear and he regained control of his saber. Somehow, he found more hatred in his soul than he knew existed and he forced the blade to cut through the top of Qui-Gonn's head, and all the way down to his body.
Qui-Gonn had no insides, just a blinding white light that was burning Sidious' eyes from staring into it. The two halves of Qui-Gonn were now absorbed into the light, causing it to grow in width. Sidious kept a hand over his eyes to shield himself, but he had to keep looking an another figure began coming out of the light.
Curly hair, Jedi robes, and a determined look were approaching from the door of light. Sidious began to back away in horror as the figure became recognizeable. This was impossible! He was destroyed years ago as well!
Anakin Skywalker stepped through the door and came forward. Sidious attempted to stop him, but his grip was mightier than his, and the illuminating skin of his burned far worse than Qui-Gonn's had. Anakin lifted Sidious above his head and through him into the glowing door, Sidious' screaming all the while.
Sidious was attempting to fire his lightning at Anakin, but it could not phase the young Jedi. Sidious' arms flailed around as he attempted to focus more and more of his hatred, all the while the burning continued.
He was falling, deeper and deeper into the glowing light. The pain increased with each fall, and he could feel his powers growing weaker as he went. Slowly, as his powers left him, his body began to dissolve into the light around him and after a few moments he was nothing but a sphere of darkness, falling deeper.
When the last bit of Sidious' conciousness thought the pain was too much it intensified as the spheres seemed to hit a surface. The blackness was fading, and Sidious was trapped, no where to go. He could feel the holy light closing hin around him, making him suffer, making him ill, and finally making him no longer exist.
Emperor Palpatine awoke from his meditation severely shaken and pouring with sweat. He looked around to notice he was still in his throne in the death star. The guards in red near the elevator, the stars out his window. Suddenly he felt two powerful tremors in the force as he heard the elevator open.
"Skywalker," Sidious thought to himself. "I will not relinquish my empire, merely expand it with a new apprentice."
Sidious turned to see Lord Vader, and his son, Luke Skywalker standing before him. The future of the Sith was now in the emperor's hands like it had been for many years, but he had never once been as terrified as he was at this moment.
That was AWSOME!
Yeah, that one rules.
I like it too
I just came to put that one here...lol... sweet.... keep em coming
Well guys, I'm about to leave for the theatre campout several of my buddies and I have planned. I know you are all waiting for Maul vs. Jango Fett (the good version) and I haven't got it done yet. I just need a little more research on Coruscant first, then all will be good. So I leave you with this: ROTS Anakin(dark) vs. NJO Luke
Oh yeah, the setting is the throne room aboard the second death star. And once again it's a crazy parralel dimension so accept it lol
Darth Sidious' head fell to the floor as the bright blue blade of Darth Vader's severed it cleanly at the neck. Vader's eyes began to glow a brighter yellow as he was now the last of the Sith, the only Sith no less.
Suddenly a strange wind began to pick up inside the chamber. Bolts of lightning struck around the room as the very fabric of the universe was being altered. Vader stared at the center of what was now a hole in reality.
"The force had to be involved with this," Vader thought. "Nothing would have the power to do this besides the force."
Inside the hole was a hooded figure, growing larger and larger every second. The figure seemed to be unsure of what was happening, judging by the way it was looking around and feeling the walls of the portal. When it looked at Vader, it was taken back, then came forward slowly. Vader started to come forward as he felt an incredible surge of force power from the figure. Once it stepped outside of the portal, the portal dissapeared.
"Who are you?" Vader demanded, keeping his hand near his lightsaber.
The figure dropped his hood and removed his cloak. He had Vader's build, height and eyes; before they turned orange, and his hair was roughly the same color. Vader's eyes lost the orange coloring along with his eagerness to grab his saber.
"Who are you? Tell me now!" Vader screamed.
"I'm you, or how you should have been. I am your son, Luke."
Vader came closer to Luke and walked around him in a circle, studying Luke. This couldn't be his son, he was older than Vader, and peace emanated from his soul. A child of Darth Vader would never be so weak.
"You lie," Vader said, igniting his lightsaber.
"Always quick to anger. Now I know you are Anakin."
"Anakin Skywalker is dead, there is only Darth Vader!" Vader screamed, bringing his saber down to Luke's skull.
Luke's blade met Vader's and twisted it down to the ground. Vader put all of his fury into a kick aimed at Luke's chest. Luke caught the leg and swept the other leg out from Vader, knocking him to the ground. Vader would have gotten up, but he dropped his saber and the tip of Luke's saber was blocking him from moving.
"Father, please, you cannot destroy me, I am your son," Luke reasoned.
Vader called his saber to him while simutaneously using the force to launch Luke backward. Luke landed hard on his back and rolled to his feet, only for Vader to kick him in the chest, sending him down the stairs. Vader leaped into the air, ready to bring his saber into Luke's chest, but Luke was ready with his saber. Luke parried the blade upward, then used his feet to kick Vader in the chest while propelling him over Luke's head.
They were each to their feet and clashing sabers again. Flashes of blue and green painted the shadows of the room as they fought. Their movements were nearly identical, same power, same footwork, same determination.
Vader's balde came upward like an upper cut, and his foot followed. Vader's blade met Luke's, pushing it upward, while his foot kicked the saber from Luke's hands. Vader now had the tip of his saber to Luke's throat.
"If you are my son explain to me how you came to be, Padme died!" Vader screamed, almost in tears.
"You didn't kill her when you choked her, you killed her the day you killed yourself and joined the darkside!"
Vader thrusted at Luke, who dodged to the side and grabbed Vader's arm. With a similar move, he kicked he flung Vader's saber away from him. Now the two were locked together, exchanging headlocks and punches and rolling around on the floor.
Vader locked his mechanical hand on Luke's throat and began to squeeze, using his dark powers to make him stronger. Luke could tell his end was near, so he reached into the force and let it guide him. Using his mechanical hand, Luke broke away from Vader's grip, and punched him in the side. Vader's anger only increased and he lifted Luke to his feet and locked the choke in again. He pushed Luke backward before using his strength and force power to launch him across the room.
Vader bent Luke's body over a railing that led to the reactor core of the Death Star. Luke, losing air fast, searched the room for anything that might save him. In the corner of his eye, he saw his father's lightsaber, and called it to him. Luke chopped the railing and flipped backward with Vader still attached to his throat. Luke used the force to flip himself around and hold tight to the edge. Vader toppled into the pit, but used the power of his mechanical hand to dig into the wall, and held tight.
Luke was just managing to pull himself to his feet when Vader was suddenly on his back, choking him once again. Luke broke the choke again, only to be forced to stop Vader from bringing his saber into Luke's throat. Luke lost his footing and fell again, still able to keep on the ledge and barely able to keep Vader's hand away so that the saber wouldn't kill him.
Concentrating on the force harder than ever before Luke saw his oppurtunity and took it. He and Vader were suddenly flung up and away from the pit, flipping as they went. Vader released his hold on Luke, only to crash land on his back into a stair case. Luke had called his saber to him from across the room in the air, and was once again standing over his father.
Vader rose to his feet, allowing Luke's saber to impale him at the top of his right shoulder. Vader allowed the darkside to destroy the intense pain from his wound and backhanded Luke away.
Luke used every bit of his power to block the incredible onslaght of furious blows coming at him. Vader was delved completely into the darkside and Luke into the light. It was just a matter of which was stronger now.
With each blow Vader swung it was as if his powers increased, while each time Luke parried or blocked, his powers increased. Never before in all the years of lightsabers had there been so much force power in two sabers. Anger, fear, rage guided Vader only to be met by Luke's serenity and peace of mind.
Their sabers locked again as each pushed with all of their might and power into one another, neither gaining any ground. Luke's eyes were filled with nothing, no emotion, no more sadness. He was so enveloped by the power of the force, he knew that father or not, Vader needed to be stopped. Vader's eyes were bright orange once again and he knew that Luke would never become his apprentice, so he would have to meet his destiny.
Finally they backed away and came at one another with identical swings, with the full force of all of their power into that swing. When the sabers collided, the blades didn't lock, the blades actually shattered! Both sides of the force gave the warriors the speed to release their sabers, only to be flung apart from as the hilts of their sabers exploded.
Luke landed his back against the wall directly above the elevator door and Vader went up and over the stairs, flying past the emperor's throne and crashing into the window. Vader broke through the glass, but managed to keep his mechanical hand, locked into the floor and used every bit of his power and wits left to hold on.
Luke's body was flung forward toward the vacuum, but his connection to the force allowed him to defeat the intense gravity, barely. He slowly came forward to his father's aid, ignoring his promise to himself to defeat Vader. Luke could sense the incredible fear racing through his father's mind, but did not let it consume his own.
Luke was more attuned to the force than he had ever been, and he crawled to his father's aid, extending his metallic and stonger hand to Vader's.
"Father, grab my hand!" Luke screamed as the intensity of the vacuum increased.
Vader was beginning to lose his grip as the fear took over him. He was not ready to die, but if he was going to die, the Skywalker line would end here and now. Vader reached his free hand up to grab at Luke's, or so Luke thought. He was really calling for what was left of Sidious' body, which had been caught against the throne. It wasn't the body he wanted, but the saber tucked inside the Emperor's sleeve. Vader used the force to activate the blade and bring it toward him, striking through the back of Luke's chest.
Luke was far too quick for Vader's treachery and with a simple twist of his body he dodged the approaching saber. The saber's blade cut into Vader's arm, sending him screaming into the cold darkness of space. The living force protected Luke from the vacuum and he finally made it to the elevator. When the door shut, Luke collapsed with exhaustion.
With what little energy he had left, he delved into the force to see if his father's presence could still be felt. For a moment he could feel him, but then the connection was severed as Anakin Skywalker, no Darth Vader died.
"I'm sorry father," Luke said aloud, as a tear ran down his cheek. "I'm sorry."
Hmmm. I didn't get most of it. Seemed like he was falling then still being chocked by Vader. Also, I think Vader would have realized that his son would be quick enough to dodge a lightsaber. Overall it was good though.
I got it all but lost once with the choking and falling flying around...etc...gonna have to read it again...
...giving it to he just gave us some crumbs to hold us off...lol....episode III is calling him....lol... overall was nice to wake up to another Nefarus story though....Thanks again!
not to shabby for a first write....I thought Mace was actually gonna take it this time..lol.. Thanks Glentract...keep writing!
Dooku and Mace IMO is an extremely even match-up. It can really swing either. While I am a huge fan of Mace, I can respect Dooku defeating him. Mace losing to Dooku really isn't something to sneeze at, considering Dooku was a master of Form II i think, a series of elegantly aggressive attacks.
Exar Kun versus Mace Windu and Qui Gonn Jinn
Setting: Exar Kun's temple on Yavin 4
Exar Kun was pacing his throne room, trying to think of a way to escape the taskforce sent by the Republic to kill him. As he was walking back and forth, he noticed a glimmer in the darkness of the room. He looked over, but saw nothing. He kept pacing and then he heard a footstep by the entrance to his throne room. He quickly ignites one side of his lightsaber and asks to the darkness," Who are you?" The stranger stepped out of the darkness, holding his unlit lightsaber in his hand.
"My name is Jedi Master Mace Windu. And I already know you, Exar Kun." The stranger paused for a moment and then went on," I was sent here to take you in. I will give you a choice, you can either come with me, or I will have to kill you." Exar was surprised by the pride in this man." I will take the easy way". Exar bends over and then jumps up with lightsaber drawn, going for Mace's legs.
Mace was barely able jump out of the way of this Sith Lord's attack. He recovered and counterattacked, only having it blocked. He was hard pressed against this legendary Sith Lord. Every action he made, it was counter. And every attack by Exar he was barely able to block. Mace was slowly being pushed into the wall. He lunged for the throne room door, just dodging Exar's attack against him.
Mace leaped backwards down at the bottom of the stairs. Exar Kun ran after him, but was grasped in surprise when a man stepped out of the shadows behind Mace. Mace and this other mysterious assailant quickly attack Exar, pushing him farther back. Then, Exar ignited the other side of his saber.
As the three fought, Mace was able to find a shatterpoint on Exar. But before he was able to exploit it, Exar psuhed both him and Qui Gonn against the wall. His powerful push knocked out Mace and left Qui Gonn to fight Exar alone. Qui Gonn was able to keep up with Exar for a while until Exar was able to push him against a wall.
Right at the moment it looked like Qui was going to die, Mace gained conciousness and charged at Exar, channeling the force within him using Vaapad. Exar Kun was now the one hard pressed, fighting Mace. Mace was able to put Exar on the defensive. Exar quickly found out he would not be able to take on Mace in a lightsaber duel. So he pushed a pillar holding the roof onto Qui Gonn, to distract Mace.
Mace was able to catch the pillar before it landed on Qui. But that moment that he looked away, Exar attack and pushed his throne right into Mace. Mace was thrown back hard againsth the wall. But he was able to get up and then Qui Gonn Jinn regained his strength and stood up. But Exar still had a few tricks left. He used his mastery of the force and threw both of them out of the room. But his attacks were failing, and both of them came back unscathed.
Exar ran into his throne room, ready to make his last stand against these two Jedi Masters. When they did not come, Exar ran out into the hall they were fighting and saw neither of them. He looked back the throne room and saw his throne still their, and then he looked back out into the hall they were fighting. He saw the pillar he had thrown at Qui Gonn still standing tall.
you could give me a couple of days to shine for my story you know. lol.
I liked it a lot, but was is just a dream or something?
Here's one I made up in fifteen minutes for the trio versus Revan thread.
The constant whine of the ship's lasers could be heard even over the steady hum of his lightsaber as revan confronted these three Jedi come to kill him. With minimal effort, he rolls his wrist, making his right lightsaber, a blade as red as the heart of Malachor V, make a deadly butterfly-esque wave in the pressurised air on the bridge of this small ship. The violet blade, the same hue as the mountains in Tattooine as the twin suns set, spiraled in his left, creating a blurring stream of energy. Behind his mask, his eyes sparkled fom yellow to the full blazing red of his inner power. And before his eyes stood three Jedi masters: a tall, intense man radiating with barely contained power, a Korun perhaps; on his left was a woman bearing two marks of the Chalactan order of Illumination, her emerald saber making each appear to dance with reflected light; and on the Korun's right was a middle aged human Guardian, his azure blade shimmering in the dark, eyes focused.
The Korun was the instigator. He fell into a ready stance, saber in one hand at his side, flaring violet. This one made odd but powerful vibes in the Force, and Revan knew immediately his one was the deadliest of the trio. His Chalactan companion mirrored his stance, her own blade held up a bit higher, as though she meant to compliment his initial strike. Theirs was a clear bond, master and apprentice, and even Revan could note the tremors of concern for one another in their bond. The third Jedi master, the bearded pale human, brought his blade up close to his body, both hands on the hilt. Ah, so he was defensive in nature, perhaps a Soresu practitioner or even master, Revan mused. he would destroy that one first.
The Korun moved first, his body a blur as his saber came streaking in. Behind him, the Chalactan flipped in the air, her saber held close in her tucked cannonball. The third Jedi sidestepped to give the Korun more room and then rolled forward, obviously making to slash at Revan's lower left side.
In the split second before the three had determined to make such attacks, Revan had closed his eyes. The images flashed in his head instantaneously, the Force giving him quick shots of the battle to come, showing him every move, the possible outcomes, and the possible defenses, penetration of such, etc. Each image was burned into his mind instantly, the Force making it secondary knowledge to him. If he had watched a holovid of the event from outside a thousand times, he could not have known their plans better. Eyes still closed, he burst into action.
Their initial attacks were meant to bracket him in with saber slashes and work him into a fence of flashing blades. But he knew an easy and fast way out of being boxed. He shot up, flipping back. Reaching out in the currents of the Force, he gave the Chalactan a gentle shove, just enough to make her blade miss his retreating form. This caused her to fall into the path of her companions' blades, and they came up short. She landed gracefully, but clearly off-guard, and, landing himself, Revan sought to make use of that. Around him where chairs and instruments and consoles for the absent bridge crew. Revan had himself material for an ancient Sith tradition- harassing the enemy. As a general, Revan knew that defeat of willpower was victory whereas death was just a formality. He would strike at their will before he killed the three. He closed his eyes again, reaching out with his attunement to the Force. He felt the chairs, the consoles... and he tore them, wrenched them from their holdings, and brought them up into the air. With another Force relayed command, he sent the fourteen chairs and ten consoles streaming at the trio of Jedi. Their faces broke into masks of concentration as they worked together to swat aside and otherwise counter the wave of projectiles.
Eyes opening, Revan saw his chance. He extended a gloved hand casually, as though hailing a passing friend, and he felt the glowing burn as Force lightning cruised through his body, coming out of his open palm and hitting the bearded Jedi as he was overextending himself to cover the Korun from a particularly heavy console. He went down, body coursing with the energy. His comrades picked up pace and swatted or slashed any danger to him as he was down. Their brows sparkled with sweat already. Revan smiled a thin lipped smile.
The Korun broke the hail of projectiles first, slipping to the side and coming about, his blade at his side. Revan waited for him to approach, blades ready, stance very casual. The Force again showed him the coming moves, and when the Korun first swung, the parry was already in place. The next few swings were progressively stronger and faster, the Korun was like some wild animal- quick, accurate, and deadly. This Jedi was definately the deadliest here, but Revan could read his moves before he had thought of them. It was an excellent gift, and when the Chalactan finally came forward to assist her master, Revan easily incorporated her into the deadly dance of sabers. The hum and spark as sabers connected was nearly deafening, and together the two were brutally fast yet accurate. Their moves were wrought with contained passion, and yet efficient and posed, leading Revan to believe they were practitioners of the Form of Juyo, a newer form that was very difficult to use and considered almost impossible to master. As he met their blades with an every growing intensity, Revan noticed the subtle differences in their approach; the way they used Juyo they way one would use their own brain- completely and fully. They did not actually use Juyo, but rather some new version of it. The differences were very new to Revan. And yet exciting all the same.
They were working him into a frenzy, but the Force itself fueled his weary bones and muscles, and he was a machine, ever able to keep up with their insane breakneck fighting pace. Finally, at a critical moment where they were about to work as one and finally break his defenses, he reared back, waves of pressurised air rolling out from him in a shockwave as the Force propelled them both back. The Korun recovered in midair and kicked against the bulkhead, coming to rest on the floor where he immediately charged Revan. Behind him, the bearded Jedi was rising, his beard seemingly singed from the electric attack. The Chalactan, however, was flattened against the transparisteel view window, and crumpled to the ground, the air knocked from her. Revan met the Korun, this time determined to finish him, a slight deviation in hsi original plans, but it needed to be done. This Jedi could not be overcome with petty tricks.
Their sabers met again, and while the Korun worked hard to keep pace, the Sith lord meant business now. His twin sabers met and eventually started to beat the Jedi master's rather Vaapad-like waving saber. Finally, just when the Chalactan had risen and shook her head and the bearded Jedi came up to aid the Korun, Revan pierced his guard, single violet saber slicing his arm at the elbow. The Jedi master howled and fell back, and then Revan thrust with his crimson saber, poking at the bearded Jedi's approach. The latter fell back, bringing up his saber to ready his guard. The blow to his comrade had shaken his resolve, Revan felt as much in the Force. Now, he would exploit the wound he had struck and finish them all.
In this instant, there stoof the Jedi guardian, blade held directly up and slightly away from his body. The Chalactan had leapt forward to strike with her blade, her rage rolling off of her in amazingly nonsubtle ways for a Jedi. The Korun was on the ground, shock setting in, cutting off his focus with the Force. He was obviously trying to stem to shock but not quite succeeding yet.
Revan spun about to his right, leading with his crimson saber, coming in so fast he destroyed the bearded Jedi's hilt at the point of ignition, leaving a useless piece of metal in the stunned Jedi's hands. The following violet saber ripped through his collar bone, leaving a blackened scortch as the Jedi fell to the floor, lifeless. Revan's twin blades met with the female Chalactan's jump, catching her in midair, and then the left handed blade zig-zagged below the parry and stabbed up, piercing her stomach and spine in a sharp and painful instant. Her face went from angry to an almost childlike confusion as she dropped, dead. Revan turned to the fallen Korun Jedi, his blades glimmering with unfathomable power. Mace Windu could only watch as the Sith came towards him, knowing his life was at its end.
Darth L. Dipsit
I didn't know if it was allowed to match up characters that never met, so I'll make one that I think would be cool. I'm a first-timer, so go easy on me. This is a Darth L. Dipsit work (You have to read to find out who's fighting):
THE CLASH OF THE TITANS
The man padded along the hall. The place was strange to him, its gloom almost overwhelming and intimidating. Shadowless was this new world, yet also it was made from the very fabric of shadow. The tone of the location was the only disturbing factor - the darkness was insignificant in comparison. Darkness was not something new to this man. He had suffered a thousand torments at the hands of his enemies, and each one of them had fallen. He did not kill for revenge - his mind was set on the objective and necessary obliteration of evil, regardless of the source or situation. This man was above feeling. This man was a Jedi Master.
It was strange how he had come to be here, here in this dark place filled with an ominous presence penetrating the balance of the Force like a knife in the dark. The Jedi was the Master of a school, devoting most of his time to teach his dedicated students in the way of the Force. It was at this school that he first felt a sudden transition in the balance he had worked so hard to maintain. His world had changed within moments, and he had shifted, shifted to a place that reminded him only too clearly of one of the most painful and destructive times for the galaxy that he could remember.
The source of this significant disturbance must be destroyed. It simply must be done in order for the galaxy to thrive again. This would not be the first time...
The black passage seemed to go on into an infinite expanse of darkness and silence. The silence was what was most confusing...
It had come from behind. The Jedi in the hall didn't turn around. He had been waiting for this.
"I should perhaps have spoken sooner" said the voice, a mirthless yet meaningful sound. "Please, out of respect, will you address me, Master Skywalker?"
Luke Skywalker turned around. He saw nothing with his eyes, but felt an intensity that he had never felt before in the presence of this unknown figure.
"Thank you, Master Jedi. Now I can explain myself to you, humbly. My name is Marka Ragnos. This place in which you now stand is a palace devoted to me. It is, as you can undoubtedly tell, a Sith creation. However, it is, at the moment, unoccupied, save by the two of us. I have foreseen my future, and yours, too. Neither interests me, because neither holds any real excercise for our powers. To go unchallenged is to waste a potential that is never defined. That is why I have cleared this system of my followers for the time being. Thus, I will now come to my point, which is this: I have summoned you here to fight - no holds barred, against me, for the honor of victory."
The energy radiating from this hidden being was immense. Luke hardly knew what to say at first, but his mind cleared in a moment. This was the past. He had registered that much, and these Sith were not a threat to the Republic as he knew it.
"My fight does not lie with you. I decline."
"I understand, though I must now present you with an ultimatum to counter your refusal. If you fail to fight me now, I will invade your world with all of my might, transporting my Sith army to your time as I brought you to mine. Then, you will be forced to fight, and there will be no future for your well-intended Republic should you die. However, if you win here and now, which I do not doubt is possible, you will destroy a valid threat to your world."
This struck Luke hard. He was not used to this kind of tone from Sith. He expected elaborate speeches, not a simple and objective discussion. This dangerous foe had humility, a quality Luke was not accustomed to dealing with in a Sith. However, he had no choice. He would not risk the fate of the Republic...
"Then, Master Skywalker, may the Force be with you."
Silence followed this pronouncement. Then, very slowly, Luke noticed a startling transition beginning in the darkness before him. Two burning red slits had appeared, and began widening, moment by moment, until the slits had grow to blazing embers.
Marka Ragnos had opened his eyes.
It happened in an instant. Beneath the eyes a red lightsaber ignited and swept toward Luke in a swinging motion. Luke dodged it and drew his own green lightsaber. The two thin beams of light were the only things visible in this place of darkness. Two complementary beams, circling one another, the only lights in a world of black and gloom. There was no face to this enemy, only a pair of eyes and a solitary lightsaber. Luke Skywalker, Master of the Jedi Order, had met his match.
The red blade suddenly arced down. Luke countered with his green saber, parrying and then dodging to the left. The red beam followed him, and Luke realized what he must do. The Jedi Master backed off a few paces, his lightsaber pointed at his unseen foe. Then he pushed the button on his handle and the green light protruding from the end promptly disappeared. He was unarmed, but he was not defenseless.
Ragnos was confused. He could no longer see any trace of his opponent, though he could feel him. This was what Luke had been hoping for. He flew at Ragnos as fast as light, flipped over the Sith Lord's head, and kicked his back on the way down. The lightsaber fell from Ragnos's hand and Luke seized his opportunity. He immediately ignited his own lightsaber and jumped at the spot where Ragnos fell. Ragnos countered with a force-push before Luke got close, though, sending the Jedi Master flying backward. Ragnos pushed his advantage further by using force-pull to take the vulnerable Jedi's lightsaber as he soared in midair. As Luke flipped himself right-side-up and landed on his feet after his flight, he knew he had lost his ground. However, feeling it necessary to resort to drastic measures, Skywalker force-pulled Marka Ragnos's lightsaber up from the ground where he had seen it fall, still ignited.
The weapons had been switched.
It was a blaze of red on green and green on red, of force-offensives and force-blocks, both sides wearing down the other. Soon, however, Ragnos made a critical error. As Luke charged him with Ragnos's red lightsaber, Ragnos countered with force-choke. Luke, though he was in the direction where Ragnos had aimed his attack, was charging upside-down from the ceiling with his lightsaber. At the last moment, Luke jumped down to face his opponent and knocked him on his back. Luke's green lightsaber went flying from the Sith Lord's hand, and Luke stood over his fallen enemy, pointing Marka Ragnos's own lightsaber at his throat.
"You are beaten, Ragnos. My part in this deal is fulfilled. Now you must uphold yours. So, with your leave, I will head back to where I am needed."
Luke turned back, the red blade in his hand still lit. He felt no fear of this enemy. Why should he? This Sith Lord was beaten, and no matter how fast he was, if he was going to attack Luke in a weakened state, the seasoned Jedi Master would surely see it before it came.
A jolt of pain brought Luke from his delusion. His mind had been clouded and his decisions had been distorted by the Dark Side. Marka Ragnos had risen and had cast his most powerful attack upon the unsuspecting Jedi, the Sith Lightning. Luke spun like a top and his back was pushed against the wall of the dark Sith hall by the force of the pure energy, and Ragnos's lightsaber flew from Skywalker's hand, to rest, still lit, on the floor behind the advancing foe from whose fingertips emanated a world of pain Luke had experienced only once before in his life.
In the light of the Sith Lightning, the face of Marka Ragnos was finally visible. Two giant horns sprouted from his head, his body was ravaged and menacing - although he was the only one Luke had ever seen, it was obvious that he was a half-breed.
The defenseless Skywalker cried out, but there was no one to help him in this moment of need. But years of training and experience as a Jedi Master had brought Luke to a level of focus transcending that of all others. Even under the torture of Sith Lightning, Luke called on his own wisdom and the power of the Force to help him survive. He took in his bleak environment, and finally he registered that the glow behind Ragnos was the dropped red lightsaber, still turned on. Luke concentrated as hard as he could and made one final attempt to destroy the Sith Lord who now threatened to destroy peace in the galaxy forever.
It was over very quickly. Luke called on the lightsaber with force-pull. It rose from the ground behind Ragnos, who, distracted, failed to notice. However, the lightsaber was drawn to Luke, and Ragnos stood between them. At the last moment, Luke's opponent released him and turned around, having sensed a small tremor in the Force. But it was too late. The ancient Sith Lord turned just in time to receive a full-frontal blow from his own weapon. Luke watched in the once-again black hall as the end of the saber was visible poking through Ragnos's back. Then the sword deactivated and fell with a clatter to the floor. A moment later, so did its owner.
Marka Ragnos was dead.
Luke stood in awe for a moment, and then realized that his objective was complete and that he needed to return to his own time. He retrieved his own lightsaber, using the Force to guide him, attached it to his belt, and sat down to meditate. He was soon able to tap into the Force to send him back to his own place in time, to the world he knew. He was not sure if this would work, but when he opened his eyes, Luke Skywalker was again at the Jedi Academy where he lived.
He was home.
That was pretty good. I liked how Luke won, through a lot of people probably won't.
One major problem though is that Ragnos didn't use a lightsaber, he used a sword enhanced with Sith Magics.
Hey everybody who has written here. I was wondering if it would bother you guys if I printed these out and showed the to some friends of mine. I would hive vredit if you want, but you probably don't want to be giving out a name on the net. Just say if it is okay for you stories and if you only want to let me print some of them, just name the ones that are ok.
Feel free to print all mine. I'm not a miser with stories, or else I wouldn't post them online, eh?
ya, well me and this other guy were writing a book and we had like 130 pages untill he ran off with all that I had written and he made over 2,000 dollars with the full book. I can't do anything about it because I didn't know about copyrights and stuff back then and it is all copyrited in his name. That stuff just really pisses me off.
By the way, seeing ep3 in like 2 hours!
Darth L. Dipsit
Hey Glentract - thanks (I'll edit the story - 'preciate the advice). As for me, the printing's totally cool. This was, of course, my first story, and if there's another story thread I think I might repost it. I really want to get some feedback from Darth Nevarus and Janus, too, if possible.
Hm. Finally read it. Very well written. The slight discrepancy with the Ragnos lightsaber can be overlooked, seeing as the Sith was obviously messing with time itself. He could zap himself a lightsaber if he wanted.
But anyways, I liked it. Don't think it would have gone like that. I personally think Marka Ragnos could have stomped out Luke like a candle, if not immediately than after a long ass battle.
Darth L. Dipsit
Thanks Janus. I know it was a little bit stiff with some of the word choices, and I'll try to improve. I really appreciate your input, and I was wondering if Darth Nevarus could look at it too.
He will when he gets around. I imagine he's sleeping off the stiffness from a three day's camp.
Master Vrook + Master Kavar versus Dath Bane + Darth Bandon
Setting: Hoth during the time of KOTOR
Darth Bandon had been tracing the steps of the great Tulak Hord at his Master's request. He had went here for the holocron said of a place of ice and cold and where the hot springs blow. He had been walking for countless hours, trying to find a presence of the great Tulak Hord. As he was walking, he felt a strength in the force coming from his side and he instantly ran there. With his red blade gleaming, he stepped closer to the place where he felt the force. As he was walking there, he felt it move quickly, and so he followed it. The presence was getting stronger as he following it, and soon after he saw two Jedi step out onto the tundra of this barren wasteland.
Bandon yelled out to the two," What are you doing here Jedi?" The two Jedi stepped forward, revealing their faces. Bandon instantly noticed them as being Master Vrook and Master Kavar. Master Vrook answered," We are here to hunt down you and your companion. This place, Sith, will be your grave". Bandon was thrown back by their comment. What companion?
But before he could work it out, the two Jedi rushed at him, with their lightsabers ignited. Darth Bandon quickly ran away by using the force. He found himself constantly having to speed up because the two Jedi were gaining on him. Bandon made for the caves next to his route and ran with all his ability to the back. He quickly hid behind a nearby stalagmite and waited for them to come.
Vrook and Kavar walked in very caution, ready for anything. They walked to the back of the cave slowly, making sure not to miss the Sith. But then, the small ammount of light from the cave's entrance was blocked. Master Kavar and Vrook looked behind and saw a grotesque and disgruntled figure. The man they were looking at seemed to be incredibly strong and they sensed the Dark Side of the force in him. As they were lookig at this peculiar man, the man ignited his lightsaber and ran at them, letting his hatred take control for him.
As Darth Bane was charging the Jedi, Bandon saw his chance to defeat them. He came at Master Kavar and knocked him back with a force push before he closed in with his lightsaber. Bandon stabbed at Kavar while he was on the ground, but missed for Kavar jumped up and started to fight back. Master Kavar took advantage of his greatness with a lightsaber and kept Bandon on the defense.
Vrook had been able to get a edge on Bane it seemed, but Bane was able to push Vrook back. Vrook quickly started to fight again, now like a mad man. He constantly kept Bane guessing, quickly changing his style to throw off Bane. Bane came back by pushing the old Jedi Master out of the cave and onto the tundra.
Darth Bandon and Master Kavar were still battling in the cave, neither of them having a advantage.
I'll finsih it later.
Darth L. Dipsit
I await a conclusion. I don't think one has been done with Kavar. Good job so far though.
Kavar quickly jumped back and pushed Bandon into the nearest stalagmite. His push letf Bandon in a daze. Bandon thought of running away, but he noticed that Kavar was blocking his only way out. Kavar quickly closed in with his lightsaber twirling, ready to kill the weak Sith.
Vrook and Bane were battling outside and neither had a clear advantage. The old Jedi Master soon started falter from the powerful attacks pushed on him by Bane. He quickly noticed that he needed to end the combat quickly. He started to channel all his force energy into one attack.
As Bandon was playing dead, Kavar walked over to him, saber drawn. He noticed that this man was still alive and he started to pull back his saber to land the final blow, but he realized he was letting into his anger and put away his lightsaber." You should've killed me when you got the chance".
Vrook pushed Bandon back and knocked him to the ground. He was about to finish off this weak Sith, when he saw Bandon running out of the cavern with Kavar's limp body in hand. Vrook instantly forgot about Bane and ran at Bandon. He was in full rage now, and was using the darkside to attack Malak's apprentice. His attack was quick and precisive, wiht it cutting off the Sith's head.
Bane had gotten up and used the Jedi Master's rage to his benefit." Your friend was a coward. He didn't deserve to live". Vrook looked bakc over where he left the Sith Lord and he sprinted over to the Sith with rage flowing through him. Badnon stood ready for the attack, but also taunting the Jedi Master.
Vrook charged Bane and quickly ran at him. Bane went down on his knees and cut the Vrook's ankles. Vrook instantly fell over and Bane went over tofinsih him with obe simple thrust of his lightsaber. He pushed down his lgihtsaber, and that was the end of Jedi Master Vrook.
Darth L. Dipsit
This isn't exactly a story in the way we have seen so far in this thread. It is written by some buy(I will go get his name) in the Literature Forum. It is about what he thinks would be a good story in ep3.
(point of view: kotor 1 lightside, kotor 2 darkside)
Firstly, Revan in KOTOR 1 restored the Old Republic and flew far away to seek something.(He maybe in search for the Sith and is trying stop them.)
Then came the Exile from KOTOR 2 which stayed to wait for someone strong against him...and with the help of Visas Marr's force "seeing" she sence if to complete his domination he will have to end "the one",of corse the Exile will hunt Revan down...and so the Exile set sail and followed Revan's path.
Visas Marr's word of advice. "To end one great leader, blind his mind with power."
In KOTOR 3, the story begins 10 years after KOTOR 2. You are a student of a Jedi Master.
You read and hear a lot about the past of both fallen and redeemed Jedi...and so You secretly set sail with a group of companions(have them doing the research for the loss Jedi's) into the Unknown Space, Just like what the Exile did.
Sorry to ruin you guys' idea, but you, the curious Jedi found out that Revan did actually find the root of the Sith. But soon he came across the Exile. The Exile undeniably got slaughtered by Revan and Revan ended his life...Soon you will have to kill Revan (Lightside) or become like Revan (darkside).
The final fight will be you against the Exile. You win against the Exile, but it isn't by killing.
You were nearly killed by the Exile as we know a Young Jedi can't easily kill a sith lord right? But because of greed, the Exile over used the Dark Side of the Force he has just acquired and soon it caused him to go nearly insane.
And boom! He was disabled in the Force. Finally, the Exile realizes it wasn't by killing Revan to him save, he was "blind" by the greed to gain power and this caused him to end himself as Visas had said he would.
Soon you learn why they both did the same thing in search of Sith. One to destroy it, the other to gain it. So it's you, the person in KOTOR 3 to chose a path for the final end....
wow, looks like I'm writing a story, but you guys can totally disagree with it.
The guy who wrote the above story is xeon_inc. He says he just wanted to post that one thing. Also, he is from Singapore and it was really hard to read so I translated it as best I could.
Darth L. Dipsit
No, no! Keep going - no one can tell you the outcome of your own work! The HELL with what we think - don't let public opinion get in the way of creativity. Besides, I like the idea. Keep going with it. I anticipate a conclusion, sir.
I just found this on the net and I thought it is cool and I decided to post it. As far as I can tell, Obi-wan is being told to stop coming back to talk to the Luke.
The whisper wandered through the mists, the trees, barely there,
barely a presence; it was only the faintest of traces but Obi-Wan
heard it and he heard it again. ~Let go....~
He perched on a rock and sighed wearily, feeling the ache of the
passing years within every bone of his body. Rationally, Obi-Wan
knew he shouldn't be feeling this way. He'd been dead for a good
few years now and death was supposed to be release, relief, from
the physical suffering.
Yet the suffering hadn't ended, no, he had struggled with his
student, his near-protege, his redemption, for years. Yoda could
not have tamed Luke alone. Obi-Wan's presence was ultimately
necessary. The Force demanded it.
"What is it you hear, Obi-Wan?" Yoda's sage voice sounded in his
ear, and he turned, and where before there had been emptiness,
Yoda's corporeal form appeared.
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Nothing. A whisper, perhaps. No more
than that." He paused, sighing again. "I am an old man, Master
Yoda, and wont to hear things."
"Perhaps," Yoda agreed. His ears crinkled inwards. "Perhaps it is
the calling you hear."
Obi-Wan stood up in denial, longing for the days when such a
gesture would have been made with youthful vigour. "No!" he
objected. "I cannot give in to the Force." He rejected the
possibility with every fibre of his soul - after all this time, how
could he simply cease to exist? The years, the agonising *years*
on Tattooine had all been in preparation for his death as he
watched over Luke.
"Hold too tight to your identity, do you," Yoda said softly, not
pressuring his old friend but offering advice, insight.
"My identity is all I have left," Obi-Wan returned. He spun,
trying to maintain a glare. "Where is Anakin? I am sure he would
provide a more friendly ear than you."
Yoda imitated a shrug. "He sought out Amidala. Found her, I
A dark shadow crossed Obi-Wan's face. And again, ~Let go....~
"I cannot let go!" he protested. "Luke is still so young. And
where would I go, how can I...."
"Your master embraced the Force."
"My master is dead," Obi-Wan said with more than a trace of
bitterness. "He didn't even try to hold on to himself, no, one
visit was *all* I was granted by the great Qui-Gon Jinn before he
gave himself up to the energies. And do you know what he said to
But Yoda had disappeared.
Obi-Wan shook his head, feeling the anger quickly dissipate away.
He was one with the Light and Dark thoughts had no place here, they
were impossible to maintain, even if the hurt was as fresh as the
day it had taken place.
One visit from Qui-Gon after his death. And then nothing. Nothing
but the raging pain of loneliness, and yes, the anger at Qui-Gon
for letting go so easily. His soul ached.
Reality *shifted* around Obi-Wan and he found himself on a blue-
green planet whose name he never knew. It was a peaceful world, a
place Obi-Wan had never visited when he lived, but since his death,
he'd been drawn to it, or more specifically, drawn to a place. A
grove of trees, each one strong and tall, each one echoing with
Light tremors of the Force.
He felt at home here. And remembering the whispered warnings, he
wondered if *this* was the place where he was supposed to let go.
Obi-Wan had spent many months here in quiet meditation whilst Yoda
trained Luke. The feeling of helplessness as the galactic events
spiralled well beyond his control was somewhat diminished by the
peace of the trees.
"I'm not ready," he challenged, somewhat defiantly. "If I go then
who will remember the Jedi as they were? I am the last who knows
of what we went through - I am the last who believes in
midichlorians!" Without him, all the knowledge would be lost. "I
cannot go," Obi-Wan said again.
~Does it matter?~ and Obi-Wan looked up, for the almost voice was
hauntingly familiar, and it made him pause. Did it matter? If he
released to the Force, if his knowledge was lost, what would
happen? Anakin was most likely already gone, for he hadn't
trained, and Yoda would not stay to mother Luke into true
And if he, Obi-Wan stayed with Luke, the boy would never learn to
stand alone. Cycles, endless cycles of arguments, and who was to
say which was right and which was wrong? The voice of counsel had
long left Obi-Wan alone.
Obi-Wan sighed, this time in resignation, and noticed that the
trees were rippling fervently with blue energies. The Force had
never been so apparent to him before, so tangible, and as he
reached out, he saw the pale blue of his own fingers mesh with it.
The pull was undeniable, so strong, so frightening; Obi-Wan could
feel himself almost dissolving so he snatched his hand away in
~Obi-Wan...~ and this time, the whisper was no longer that of the
Force, but almost of a dearly departed one, someone who knew his
name. Obi-Wan stared at the glowing tree and as he did, he could
almost see a shape in it, a face, an arm extending synchronously
with the warm wisp of a smile.
And Obi-Wan reached out and took that hand, its blue fusing with
his own blue, until the strands of energy that were the Force
became mixed together, every non-corporeal atom becoming mingled
with that of the tree. The Force entangled him, merged him with
what was already there, and in his last seconds of individual
consciousness, Obi-Wan recognised it.
"Master," he thought, the word coloured with love and in his mind
he heard a gentle chuckle, "My Obi-Wan..." and their reunion lasted
only moments, but an eternity in the Force, before consciousness
was lost and became nothing more than the molecules of two beings
forever intertwined in the great ribbons that bound the galaxy in
love and light.
ALL, SAVE ONE
By: H. Handy
Gazing ahead, baking under the intense sunlight, and cloudless blue sky, Boba Fett studied his ship the Slave 1. Although it was not handsome by most standards, it was never the less a powerful vessel that had become an extension of himself.
Fett turned his attention back to the prisoner he was walking with, giving himself a mental kick for that basic mistake. If you don't cover all the basics, you deserve your fate. True, the current acquisition hadn't made any hostile or even defensive moves since Fett had captured him from this hellish planet, just over a standard hour ago. However, Fett noted to himself as he escorted his prisoner up Slave 1's ramp, it was not following those basics that had lead to many a former colleague's demise.
The interior of Slave 1 was cramped and sparsely furnished, with no decorations on the walls or clutter in the living areas. It was the way Fett wanted it, leaving no impressions of who he was or who he had been.
He gestured to one of his holding cells.
"In there," he said, his harsh mechanical voice leaving no room for discussion, and without a single word or complaint the prisoner complied. "It will be a three day trip to our destination. During that time, if you behave yourself, you will be allowed to move about down here freely. However, if you cause trouble," Fett paused for emphasis, "you will regret it."
"I understand," the acquisition responded simply.
As he looked down at the prisoner, Fett experienced a rare feeling of annoyance. He looked to be an older man in his later forties to early fifties, if Fett was to guess. His hair was a mixture of brown and grey with a neatly trimmed beard looking as if it didn't belong on his face. But it wasn't the appearance of this man that bothered Fett, it was that he didn't even know the bounty's name, or what this man had done to merit the swift and final justice of the Empire. Normally, under these circumstances, Fett wouldn't have taken such a bounty, but with the recent purchase of very expensive equipment for his ship and the high price on this individual's head, he had made a rare exception to his moral code. And why the Empire refused to reveal who the prisoner was, was a mystery in itself. You are being well paid, leave it at that. he told his conscious firmly. Turning back to the prisoner, he added. "If you need anything in addition to what is provided, inform me or one of my droids. If it is a final request within reason, I will try to provide it." The man simply nodded his understanding. As Fett turned and climbed up the ladder to his cockpit, he wondered, certainly not for the first time, about the oddities and complexities of the galaxy's many creatures, and in particular the creature in his holding cell right now.
The first two days of the trip were uneventful. The prisoner never asked for anything and wasn't aggressive in any way, thus few words were spoken between them. It was odd Fett noted, that the prisoner didn't seem troubled or even sad about his capture and impending death. Fett had to admit a grudging respect for the man. Not many sentients could boast having this much dignity while staring in the face of death.
On the third and final day of the journey, about four hours from their destination world of Rila Seven, the prisoner called for Boba Fett.
"You said you would grant me a last request."
"If it is within my power to do so," Fett replied. Here it comes. Fett thought, his respect for the man already wanning.
"It is," the man responded simply, "I want to talk to you."
At first Fett was caught off guard by this strange final request. Most captures asked for liquor, spice, or other such sins of the flesh.
"Don't bother wasting a last request on trying to bargain with me, it won't work, and I doubt you have the credits to pay me what the Empire is going to."
"No, that's not it at all." The capture shook his head in mild scolding, almost as if Fett himself was the one in the cell. "I just want to talk for a bit, and I want you to promise to listen."
"Fine." Fett replied shortly. In a strange way, Fett mused to himself, it would have been easier to just give the man intoxicants. "Go ahead."
"I want to know why. Why you feel you have to do this?"
Fett had heard that line used before, but decided to act out the part for the benefit of his capture. "They are paying me four hundred thousand credits for you, thats why."
"No, it's not the money, at least not the whole reason, or even the majority of it. There are far more profitable fields to enter into. Why this one?"
Fett gazed down at the prisoner, a sense of unrest stirring in his being. So it's not the old game, perhaps a new one then. "Because I can do it, because it has to be done, and because Justice needs to be served."
The prisoner rose gracefully from the hard bench he had been sitting on and slowly began to pace the length of the cell. "Who are you to decide who lives and who dies?"
"I am the one that caught you and put you in this cell." Fett retorted smugly.
"You're stalling," the capture replied.
"Fine, lets be done with this old man." Fett said, suddenly tired of the game. What right did this man have to question him. "I can judge because I serve the greater good. I serve society so that it can survive."
"Is society perfect?" the prisoner asked.
"Of course not." Fett replied, his throat becoming sore.
"Then you serve something imperfect, and if it is not balanced how can Justice truely be served?" the capture asked as he turned to face Fett.
"Do you know all the stories behind the faces you send to their deaths? Do you bother to find out why they have committed such acts?" the man continued. "How about you, Boba Fett, are you totally in balance?"
Fett stared at the man behind the forcefield, and it was a long time before he found his voice again. "No, I am not perfect, no man is. However, when atrocities have been committed, and the greater good can no longer exist in relative safety, then the evil must be eliminated."
"Why. Why not try to help evil to make it good again?" asked the bounty. "You are being naive, if you truely think that evil can be cleansed." Fett returned, a hint of contempt in his tone.
"Most would judge you as evil, do you think that you could not be saved?" the prisoner asked as he continued to pace the cell.
"I have nothing to be saved from, and I do not care how others view me." Fett countered harshly.
"What about after this existence? Do you care how you will be viewed then?" inquired the bounty.
"That is none of your business." Fett shot back. Stirrings of anger welled up within him.
"It is my last request," he reminded Fett.
Fett wanted the discussion to end, but this request was within reason, and thus he was honor bound to fulfil it now. With a flash of annoyance at the situation, he answered. "I hope that when I die, if there is anything at all after this existence, I will be judged fairly, with the same Justice I now serve." Fett growled.
"Never question the existence of life everlasting my son," the man gently replied.
The casual endearment from a condemned man angered Fett even more. "I am not your son."
The bounty ignored the comment and continued. "How can you say you judge fairly and hope to be judged fairly when you do not even know my name?"
The prisoner had stopped pacing and now stared at Fett. No, not at Fett but through him; through his mask, through his eyes and into his soul. It was a look Boba Fett would carry with him the remainder of his years.
"We will be dropping out of hyperspace soon. I suggest you get your thoughts and belongings in order," Fett said ending the discussion. He then turned and climbed the ladder to the cockpit, the prisoner's final questions lingering in mind, echoing his earlier misgivings. He had expected the bounty to cry out, demanding further discussion, but he did not.
"Get up," Fett commanded. "We're here."
Silently, the prisoner did so.
"In all my travels I can honestly say I have never met anyone like you," Fett said, his mechanical voice flavored with a hint of admiration. "I have considered your words. While I don't agree with everything you said, you do seem to serve your own Justice." Fett paused, hardly believing himself, what he was about to do. "I will not turn you in to the Empire, this time. You are free to go."
Fett moved his hand to release the controls that worked the forcefield.
"No need," the former prisoner said, and smiled.
To Fett's amazement the control panels flicked and the forcefield disengaged on its own. The old man then gathered his meager belongings together, and silently walked to the entrance ramp. Just outside the open ramp, the planet bustled with the noise and confusion of city spaceport life.
"Hold," Fett said, as the words flowed now unabated. "What is your name?"
"Obi-Wan Kenobi," the man replied, and without another word turned and walked away.
Darth L. Dipsit
Good stuff. Where'd you pick it up?
yes. I would like to know aswell.
you guy's want more
Well than you shall have more!
Fire of Destiny.
The doors exploded inwards and the small band of renegades glanced up, suddenly frightened. Two black-cloaked figures stood tall, silhouetted by brilliant sunlight from beyond, from outside where the world was still a safe place to be.
In here, though, things were much different. This institution had already seen much chaos and violence; today, there would be more carnage and destruction. A small moan was heard.
The figures strode forward, lifting their weapons as the leader of the renegades held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Wait," he said softly. There was no response. "I'm sure we can resolve this peacefully," he tried again. "Please listen - we did not wish to take this compound, only it was necessary...."
Not a word was heard from the potential attackers. Nothing changed; the sense of menace emanating from the pair was extraordinary. They advanced.
"We have to get out of here!" burst out one of the band, panicking at the threat. The man raced from the dais where he had been working and scrambled desperately for the only bare patch of ground in the large room. He threw back his head and began to descend quickly into the dirt.
He almost made it. Almost. Before anyone could comprehend what was happening, the chaos had begun. One of the dark figures seemed to fly across the room in a maelstrom of vengeance; the other attacked the group huddled around their leader. "Wait!" he tried again, this time desperately. "You don't understand what's going on here!"
One of the renegades trilled, it was an eerie, alien sound to which the attackers paid no attention. Another renegade lifted up an evil looking weapon and fired desperately. Every shot was easily deflected away.
"Ulysses, you have to do something!" screamed a young woman, her blonde hair flying. Her comrades were rushing towards the door, or towards the patch of earth, but each was easily dispatched. More weapons were produced but it seemed impossible to hit the attackers, who moved with a grace and agility unseen by anyone upon this world.
The stench of burning, of blood, began to fill the room. The screaming didn't stop as a few brave renegades from other levels of the building descended to help their comrades, only to discover an unstoppable force. They swarmed around the attackers yet were quickly murdered with almost a careless twist of a blade.
Finally, only the leader and his companion were left.
"Please," Ulysses tried again, interspersing his words with soft trilling. One of the attackers dashed around the room, too quickly for Ulysses to make out what he was doing. Above were the sounds of those too terrified to come down, but if they couldn't reach the earth, they could not escape. There were no exits from the compound, this being one of the more secure installations of the planetary government, which had recently been overtaken. Prisoners of war were also incarcerated above. "You are killing innocent people! Take me, I'm the one you want, I'm responsible for this all."
It seemed that finally, Ulysses was getting through. The menacing figure paused while his companion joined him. Neither spoke but everyone had the impression of communication between the pair. Their earlier moves had been as one.
One hooded attacker lifted a hand and the young woman found herself compelled to move forward, from where she had been protected. "Don't blame Ulysses," she said bravely. "It was my idea as well. Can't you understand why we did this? The Terrians are being destroyed, we had to do something!"
Her arm was gently taken and she shivered. She tried to see the face of her captor, wondering if she was getting through. "My name is True, I'm a human being, just like you are!" she tried desperately, knowing that the war so far had been Humans versus Terrians and the attackers were most definitely on the Human side.
~True~ - she heard an echo of her name and wondered if it was them or if it was Ulysses. She smiled bravely. "We will go with you now, just please, no more death."
The two aggressors exchanged hooded glances. One reached out to gently stroke her cheek, and the other...the other sliced her neatly in half.
"NO!" screamed Ulysses, as the love of his life died. He flew at the attackers, pulling a weapon from his pocket and blasting furiously. The shots were easily deflected as Ulysses desperately fired, he then lunged at them with his bare hands when the weapon was emptied. The two danced around him, not fighting back, almost as if they were waiting for something....
And as fast as they had entered, they were gone. Ulysses had only one moment to look at the carnage around him, to sink to his knees in grief, to realise that his cause to free the Terrians was lost, before the world exploded.
From the roaring flames the two figures burst outside, laughing, whooping, dancing away from the smoke. "What a rush!" the taller one shouted. In unison, they lifted their hoods, revealing two blonde heads. To the onlookers huddled in the corners of the streets, they seemed a pair of avenging angels.
The two men high-fived each other. Together they glanced at the ruined institution and laughed loudly. "You're lucky your countdown wasn't off," said the taller. His shorter companion gave him a hard look. "When have you ever known me to be wrong?"
"Yousa bombad Jedi!" came a voice familiar to both of them and the slightest of groans could be heard as they turned to face their companion. "Yousa saved all dese people!" Jar Jar gestured broadly to the streets about them, where the city's original inhabitants were once again free to roam.
Anakin Skywalker chuckled, still on a high. There was something so satisfying about seeing justice restored. And a battle like that, where they pushed their limits to the edge, knowing that if they were caught in the bomb blast they would be seriously hurt, gave him a huge burst of exhilaration and adrenaline. He wasn't in the mood to report to Chancellor Taggart, who had requested their assistance when the situation with the renegades turned nasty. He still wanted to...play.
A quick thought to his companion revealed the other man felt the same way. Anakin glanced at Jar Jar. "You like what we did?"
"Would you like to learn?" he offered, knowing that Jar Jar either wouldn't pick up on the taunt on his voice, or would ignore it.
Jar Jar nodded most enthusiastically and suddenly Anakin's fiery lightsaber was hurtling through the air towards him. He squeaked, ducking out of the way of the deadly blade and somehow managing to catch the handle, juggling it from one hand to another.
Anakin's companion, Jar Jar's adversary, advanced. A menacing gleam was in his eyes. Jar Jar warily held up the lightsaber, feeling a little uncomfortable. He hated it when his friends "played" with him. What made it worse was how much his friends enjoyed it. Still, he would never say anything, because if they abandoned him then he would truly have no one.
For a while, Jar Jar defended himself quite easily - a series of quick defensive motions seemmed to work. Then the attack became more aggressive. Jar Jar did his best but all too soon he was lying flat on his back in the dirt (which worried him - what if one of those creatures which travelled through the earth grabbed him?). The lightsaber was at his throat and Anakin was laughing.
"I give up," Jar Jar managed to squeak.
"Did you hear something, Anakin?"
"Not a word," came the nasty reply.
"It seems I have won this battle. What do you think I should do to the prisoner?"
Anakin surveyed Jar Jar, a wicked smile on his face. "Since he won't surrender..." He looked at his companion as Jar Jar once again desperately verbalised his submission.
"We could crush him,"
"Grind him into tiny pieces..."
The pair laughed at Jar Jar's expression; it was obviously an ongoing joke between them. Reluctantly, the lightsaber was withdrawn and hidden away. It was time to get serious.
A little girl with an arm full of flowers crept up to the two Jedi, a nervous smile on her face. "These are for you," she said, thrusting the flowers forward. "I want to say thank you for helping us."
Kind smiles appeared on the faces of the men and they bent down to the girl's level. They were used to this adoration, as Jedi, and exceptionally fine looking Jedi at that, it was no surprise that people often praised them. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed avenging angels they were.
"Thank you, young lady. And what is your name?"
"Ariel Martin, sir," she replied shyly. "My father is on the Committee."
"Ah, the Committee," repeated Anakin, laughing inside at the importance the girl attached to the world. These backwater planets were always full of inhabitants with delusions of grandeur. "We shall remember your kindness always, Ariel."
The little girl managed one more smile before she scurried back to join her friends. The Jedi arose. The mission to planet Gateneighn had been a complete success and now it was time to return to the Jedi Council and report.
"Coming, Ani?" asked his master.
"Yes, Obi-Wan," he replied.
They looked forward to their next mission.
Some more of it.
"Do you remember this place Anakin?" To his surprise Ben was standing
to his left, a look of sadness creasing his face.
"Vaguely." Anakin admitted.
"Watch then, and learn." With that, Ben slowly vanished leaving Anakin
He drifted for a bit, knowing where to go, but not understanding how he
knew. The area had rolling hills in the distance, and lush vegetation all around
him. The sun was at its zenith; shadows cast down, contrasting with the
greenery. It was a beautiful place, a place Darth Vader would never have
allowed himself to enjoy but Anakin Skywalker could, and he revelled in it. After
a short while he came upon a small village that looked familiar. An odd sense of
unease began to creep up his spine. As he saw an Imperial shuttle making its
landing his memory clicked and his heart sank. His first impulse was to run far
away, but he had run away from himself all of his life, now it was time to truly
look at the man he had been and face his destiny.
Rao Shan had been outside his office for most of the morning chatting
with the townsfolk. Now in his third season as the governor of this small colony,
he had come to know and like most of the people in the community. In turn
they seemed to like him and his approach to governing. For the most part his
life was ideal here, away from the Iron fist rule of the Emperor and his Empire.
Rao had served most of his life in the Armed Forces and had seen both good
times and bad, and up until this point had been proud to have called himself an
Imperial Officer. However, with the changes in the Empire of late, he was
rethinking that view all of the time.
A flicker of motion caught the corner of his eye, ending his daydreaming.
A small vessel had just entered the atmosphere and was descending toward the
town's only landing platform. Just as his curiosity was about make him
investigate what was going on, his son came running towards him.
"Father, you must hurry. The landing tower reports a shuttle, an
Imperial shuttle carrying - Lord Vader."
Rao Shan's stomach dropped, Vader? Darth Vader himself was here?
Why? No time to question the situation, just deal with it, he told himself sternly.
Rao Shan, governor of the colony gathered all of his courage and spoke to his
son in a calm tone.
"Son, I want you to go find your mother and make sure she's okay. I will
go meet Darth Vader on the landing platform." His son began to protest. "Go on I said, I will go to greet Lord Vader."
Darth Vader stepped from the landing ramp onto the cool durasteel
beneath him. A group of curious on-lookers had gathered and now most
trembled in terror at the sight of the black clad giant, looming over them like an
angel of death. Timidly, Rao Shan approached Lord Vader.
"What an unexpected pleasure My Lord Vad.... "
With a thought Darth Vader crushed the man. And as the former governor
crumpled to the ground in a tousled heap; Vader's voice rang out in the silence
"The Emperor is displeased with your apparent lack of support for the
Empire. Several Rebel spies have been traced to this village - they have all been
eliminated," Vader hissed. As he continued he found it amusing that many of
the on-looking parents now held their children closer to themselves, as if that
would protect them from the Empire's wrath. "The Emperor now requests a
show of faith and has decreed that all male children when reaching the age of
fifteen will volunteer for the Imperial Training Academy. If they fail to enlist your
whole planet will suffer a traitor's fate. The Emperor's patience is at an end; as
is mine." As he turned to stride up the landing ramp, a young man in his mid
teens came charging toward him, a vibro knife in hand. Instinctively, Vader
made a small gesture and the boy was thrust away. There was a small dull
thud as his head bounced off a sharp rock. As the townspeople rushed to help
him, Vader again turned and strode up the ramp; the dead boy already forgotten.
As Anakin watched Vader turn coldly away, he heard the cries of the
people, cries that tormented his soul. Suddenly, hundreds of similar events
pierced his thoughts. In an instant he was there through the countless,
senseless deaths. This time though he felt their pain, their loss, their struggle
to hold on to their lives. What was more, he felt his body go through the
unthinkable tortures he had inflicted on others. The fire of a lightsaber blade,
the crushing of a wind pipe. His lungs burned with carbonite, along with the
numerous other ways in which the helpless had struggled before him.
On his hands and knees gasping for air, his vision blurring with tears, his
body still writhing in pain, he was then made to feel the anguish and despair
that all of the wives, children, parents, and friends had felt when losing their
loved ones. Anakin felt the torment, the raging loss, the anger and despair as
clearly as if the countless losses were his own. He felt as though his mind were
being ripped in two with grief as he trembled physically, and mentally with the
pain he knew he had caused. In the back of his mind, a small area somehow
still free of the insanity that had wrested control of his senses, was now gripped
in fear. Was this the type of penance he would have to go through? And for how
long? For, surely, he must have already suffered a galaxy's worth of pain.
Eventually, his anguish and physical pain became too much for him to bear;
and as Anakin Skywalker closed his eyes and embraced the blackness, he
hoped that he would never wake again.
The trial continues, Anakin thought as he returned to consciousness. All
around him he could sense thousands of beings watching him. Opening his eyes, he had to squint to keep the radiant light from blinding him; for it was like
drinking in sunlight. Looking around he was surprised to find that the chamber
was empty; and that his body and mind were no longer riddled with the
agony he had felt. He was back in the room where he had started from,
before his mind and soul had gone through that hellish ordeal, the ordeal he had
created. Part of him wanted to run now in fear. As Anakin began to dwell
on the pain he had just gone through, he couldn't help but feel angry. Everyone
makes mistakes, he thought, why do I have to pay for all of mine.
"Why do you indeed, my friend," A voice called from the void. And as
Anakin turned the prominent symbol in the center of the table began to pulse
with an evil aura. It seemed to envelope the room, destroying the
warmth, murdering the light. Suddenly, it materialized into a physical form -
the form of a young Emperor Palaptine.
"Come with me," the voice continued. Not the ravaged voice of the old
Emperor that Anakin remembered so well. It was strong and authoritative
seemingly taking a life of its own. "With me there is no penance, only
understanding and power." Anakin felt dizzy as if the room, and his being were
spinning out of control. With a supreme effort he clamped down on his senses.
"Obi-Wan," he called out desperately, "help me!" But there was no
response, he was on his own. A black despair began to wash over him as he
forced himself to meet the gaze of Palpatine's glowing yellow eyes.
"You see they will not help you, for they do not care. I forgive you for your
traitorous acts." The Emperor moved toward Anakin and circled him as though
sizing him up for a purpose only his dark soul knew. "You see my friend, my life
is not at an end, nor does yours have to be. I have found the secret to eternal
life and will share it with you. Join me and we can once again rule the galaxy.
Worlds will tremble at our feet; unlimited power will be at our command. Come
Lord Vader, take your place at my side."
Anakin took an involuntary step backwards, his mind whirling with new
possibilities. If he joined the Emperor, he would be rid of this horrific trial; he
could have all the power he had enjoyed as Vader. Perhaps he could even make
the Emperor see the errors of his ways. Either way, Anakin could live forever,
never having to worry about the consequences of his actions on his soul; never
having to answer for any of his crimes. He could live his life over and over
again, all of it over again. But the deaths, the sorrow, ... No, never again. And with
that thought the last remnants of Darth Vader died.
Emperor Palpatine bored his yellow eyes into the soul of Anakin
Skywalker for he had been watching his star pupil fight the battle of emotions
inside of him.
" If you do not join me than I will destroy what you most hold dear," The
Emperor threatened, his voice as deadly as any lightsaber blade.
Briefly Anakin was permitted a glimpse into the future. There he saw his
son, soul in torment, kneeling to the re-born Emperor. Luke Skywalker, the son
of Vader, walking the path of the dark side. Reality came back to him in a rush.
His anger unmatched, he glared at the Emperor; knowing at that moment that
he had the power to destroy him, to prevent him from ever hurting his son
And the rest.
He would murder the Emperor for the good of the galaxy. His anger grew, the evil power pouring into his soul. As he drew the darkness into
himself, Anakin became aware of the sudden absence of warmth and light
around him. It was replaced entirely with the feeling of cold death. His hands
arched for the killing blow. Serpents of the dark side pleaded to be released
from his fingertips. Anakin's mind flickered to the good he was about to do for
the galaxy, for Luke. Luke. He stopped. And as quickly as he had summoned
the darkness, it retreated, being replaced once again by the light.
"No." Anakin all but whispered. "You will never defeat me again. Never."
Anakin seemed to draw strength from each word he spoke. His conviction
wilting the Emperor's dark will. "My son must walk his own path, I cannot
choose that for him. Nor can I decide what will happen in a universe that is no
longer my own." Anakin smiled, a smile of understanding, a smile of humility.
"Nor is it for you to decide, although you will try; and fail." And with that
spoken, Obi Wan and countless other spirits, Jedi and non Jedi, human and
alien descended into the room. Again Anakin spoke although this time his voice
sounded cleaner and purer. "You no longer hold any power over me. Leave and
never cross my path again." And with that, the darkness that was Emperor
Palpatine was enveloped soundlessly into the light.
Anakin Skywalker turned, to see before him a woman out of his past, a
woman he loved very much; his former wife, smiling, tears of happiness
streaming down her face. He met her gaze and wordlessly sent his love to her,
for he now knew she could feel it, would for all eternity. Another presence lightly
touched his consciousness. It was Obi-Wan. No; no longer Obi-Wan, Ben, his
friend. Anakin embraced him, thanking him for all that he had done. As Ben spoke
his voice was filled with untold pride.
"Welcome home Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight."
Hey. Lets get some replies over here.
I'm sorry, dude. Taking time to adjust to the new contrast... let me take my time here...
Have to make wife homemade frys...lol.....oh and she just added brownies.....lol..umm gimme 20 min or so well more than that have to read it too then Ill comment...been playing in episode III forum a bit too...so okay be back within the hour...damn keep posting Glentract! Thats my first reply...oh and Janus you got something for us yet ...Ive been pm ing a few noobs to check it out ...dont think they figured out how to get here though...lol...Oh OH yeah Nefarus i saw your back give us something...lol...
Perfection....should be OFFICIAL EU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...sweet...MORE MORE MORE MUST HAVE MORE
has any1 read my story?
Darth L. Dipsit
I'm very interested - I'll look for it on this thread and will be happy to read it and give my input if I can find it.
Darth L. Dipsit
Couldn't find it here. Give me instructions or a link - I WANT to see it! In the meantime, keep it real, my man.
Darth L. Dipsit
Sorry, Habeo - I didn't see story above (shows what a bad searcher I am). Those posts I made were confusing, and I apologize for my lack of clarity - anyway, I have read the story now, and I liked the theme. The setup and organization is original, but I can't tell - is this a potential screenplay or is it a piece written for a reading audience? Forgive my lack of perceptiveness - the story and idea were good, though - keep it up.
well i wrote it in class,,and thank you for comments i havent desided yet if it's a screenplay or is it a piece written for a reading audience lol
Darth L. Dipsit
Gotcha. Keep me posted!
I've got a huge story coming. Probably five or six post long.
Stop posting and let others try!!!! j/k
I will be improvising soon like I did on my other stories.
Alllllllll Right!!!!!!!!!!!! Here comes the big one. It is broken into parts for more easy readabilty. Here is PART 1, 2, and 3.
Ohhh, and I didn't write this one so don't get mad at me if you don't like it.
The Mask of Maul
Khameir, however, has been feeling the callings of the dark side, and a Zabrak cult, promising to train him as a sith lord, claims that they seek him to be their leader. Relying on dark side magicks, they foresee that he will sire their long-awaited destroyer. However, Palpatine, who has had his eye on the boy since he was twelve, intercedes, and later demands that Khameir prove his devotion to the dark side by slaying the last shreds of light in his soul. The result is Darth Maul, the cold, compassionless sith lord who destroys all who stand in his path remorselessly.
Regret. He never wasted time on regret. It was a useless thing. It made him soft, weak,
vulnerable. There was no place for that in him. His heart had long since shriveled up into a cold
lump of shrapnel, ready to tear at anything that dared make its way too close. His insides were
stone, his outsides were living fear, a mask of terror that raked over everything in its path,
stripping it bare, destroying it, sometimes for the pleasure of the task, sometimes out of
necessity. There would be no tendril of compassion to dare snake its way inside him. Not even
when he saw her face. He vowed it upon all the blood of the sith, blood shed by the Jedi, blood
shed because of all the hypocrisy in this galaxy. At least he would not be a hypocrite.
Master Sidious had sent him here, on this task, so that he could prove that to himself,
once and for all. Because the master knew, deep in his heart, his apprentice doubted. He was
ruled by his own fear, his own lack of true conviction. Should he ever see her again, would it
change everything? Or would he stay true to his vow, to what he had become?
Slowly, he crept down the hallway. No one was around, not on these floors. They were
secluded, empty. Just like Iyala's soul. He could feel her emptiness as keenly as his own. He was
amazed that his bond with her was still so strong, even after all these years.
But he pushed all of that aside. Bond or no bond, it would all be over soon. Once he
completed this task, the master would bestow upon him the title he longed for. The title that the
Cult of the Destroyer had denied him because he had been too weak. The title of Darth.
He gritted his teeth, ignoring the intense pain it caused. They had rotted with misuse,
with abuse and ignorance. But his mouth was unnecessary. Words were often wasted. People
didn't understand words, they understood force. They understood fear. He could bring fear to
faces without speaking. Why should he bother with words?
She was in her quarters...he could faintly hear running water. Bathing, perhaps? His face
burned underneath the heavy black and red tattoo. The very thought that his lust for her could distract him after all this time only added fuel to his rage. Perhaps he would take her once more,
just to prove to himself that she meant nothing. One last, glorious time, and then end her life. It
would be perfect. It would be the ultimate revenge.
He reached the door. Did she know he was there? She would, within a few seconds. How
she knew mattered little. Maybe he would wait here, let her suddenly become aware of him, let
the fear rise up in her--the sweet fear, her fear especially. He relished the taste as if it were a rare
delicacy. That she should fear him, she who knew him best as he once was, was more than he
could ask for. It would be the crowning jewel in his dark crest as a sith lord. The total
annihilation of who had once been...he had to resist the urge to tear open the door and appear to
her, the desire for that accomplishment was so overwhelming. It was nearly distracting--
Suddenly, she sensed him. He felt her muscles tense, felt her old reflexes coil inside of
her. He smiled. She had not been much when he'd first met her, but the man he had been had
loved her anyway. What a fool he had been. After all, it had been so easy..........
It wouldn't fit in the other post by about 100 characters so here it is.
He'd been watching her for some time. He liked watching her, the way she moved, the
way the thick material that hugged her curvaceous body rippled over her muscles. Her dark hair
that gleamed red in the flickering rays of the sunset was tied in a tail that hung down her back It
was slightly damp in the heavy humidity of Reven, the capital of Iridonia. He'd always hated the
humidity. Give him the desert any day, he would take the empty sands compared to the density
of this place.
Sighing, he let himself slide to the ground. She wouldn't be moving for a while. They had
her stuck in the security wing of the small space port. A heavy satchel slid off her shoulder and
landed on the ground, and he caught the faint clink of metal hitting metal. Maybe she was some
kind of trader...or better yet, a bounty hunter. He felt himself smiling in anticipation. He'd been
playing this game for the better part of the day, and it was only a matter of time before he found
the right opportunity to make his presence known to her. Not that she might care much. What
was an orphan to her? She wasn't even from here--she certainly wasn't Zabrak, not with that thick
head of hair.
He reached up and touched his hairless crown, feeling the faint ridges of where his horns
should be. They hadn't grown in yet--wouldn't until he finished his growth. Although from what
he'd seen of many of the alien species that surrounded him, he was rather large for his age. But
the Zabrak body always reached its growth in physical size before the rest of the changes kicked
in. Maybe to her he would seem like an adult. He hoped so. He would hate for her to dismiss
him as a child. He could take her repulsion for his street rags before he could take her repulsion
for his immaturity.
Okay....she was moving now. She had jumped line and was taking a short cut.
Attempting to bypass security? Where would that get her? Even small ports like this one had
excellent security. They would catch her and detain her for even longer than before--
She glanced over her shoulder. Her skin glowed darkly, as if she had spent too much time
in the sun. Durranian--he had recognized that right off, but hadn't gotten a good look because
most the time he'd spent looking at her had been focused on her back. Now he could even see the
brief flashing of her eyes--a rich, emerald green. His heartbeat quickened. She couldn't escape
him now, not after all the time he'd invested in this stupid little game.
She slipped down an alley he hadn't even noticed, and he had to nearly run to follow her.
He kept his steps silent--he was very good at keeping quiet. An entire lifetime spent on the
streets of this city had taught him the virtue of silence. Noise was, at times, the equivalent of death.
He reached the dark, wide crack and realized that she had disappeared again. He strained
his ears, and heard the faint pattering of feet. He glanced up and caught the barest hint of a
She had taken to the roof.
He scampered to the nearest gutter and climbed up after her, still keeping silence. His
eyes had just reached the roof level when she dove off the other end, her hair flipping upwards
as she jumped, the tail whipping wildly for a second and then falling. He heaved himself up after
her and for the first time cursed his cumbersome size. Then he calmed himself and used his
strange powers to lighten his muscles. It worked...he was on the other side and jumping off into
the other alley, her shadow in his side vision for just a few seconds. He had to work harder to
keep his silence, drawing heavily on the same powers to keep his feet light and his steps quick.
For a second, as he rounded a corner, he lost her altogether, and then had to reach out with his
mind, not knowing what he was looking for but knowing he would recognize it when he saw it.
*There* she was, slipping into a building that smelled like day old guric eggs and rotting
creaw meat. It was so foul, he was tempted to just give up and go home. Surely she wouldn't be
staying there. It seemed beneath her.
He strolled down the alley a few feet away, keeping his mind open, barely touching her
but keeping her pattern firmly fixed in his brain. Maybe he would get lucky and she would come
out. Maybe it wasn't her place, she was just using it as a temporary shelter. Or maybe she was
trying to shake off any unwanted followers---
Something snagged him from behind. A slender arm was around his neck, and the foul
smells of the building were quickly buried underneath the thick, sweet smell of leather and
sweat. It was almost hypnotic, the way she clung to him, her mind suddenly open to him, wide
and beautiful and furiously angry.
The cold barrel of a blaster against his cheek wasn't even enough to break the spell. His
hand went up instinctively, his fingers finding only the sleek material that covered her. She was
strong, he would give her that--her grip was threatening to cut off his windpipe.
"Who are you?" she rasped into his ear. He felt a sudden shiver as he struggled to reply.
"Kha....Kha...." If she wanted an answer, she was going to have to let up. As if she heard
him, her muscle relaxed just a bit. "Khameir Sarin."
He felt her frown. "Zabrak," she muttered. "Stupid me for not doing my homework." She
sighed, her breath hot on the back of his neck, sending another chill. "Why are you following
He couldn't answer. He didn't know. There was just something about her. He turned his
head a bit, trying to see her eyes, but knowing that their touching minds was as close as he was
going to get.
Abruptly, she released him, and her mind closed off, as if it had never been there. He
stumbled forward but caught himself with simple grace, his fingers lightly touching the rough
stone of the opposing wall as he finally got to turn and face her.
Darth L. Dipsit
This is new stuff! A love story! Good going! So far it seems very well-written. Bring in more! Does it go farther?
much farther. I just wanted to see how everyone likes it before I post a whole lot of it, but what the heck. I'll post some more.
Darth L. Dipsit
Good. Everyone else will recognize it soon enough.
Iyala glanced up. He was here. Somehow, she knew he would be. She had always been
able to sense him, sometimes before even he sensed her. Rarely, though. Less and less rarely as
the years had passed. Out of practice, she wondered. But Khameir had never been one to be
subtle. He had always been so heartwrenchingly blunt, it was ridiculous.
For the first time in a decade, she remembered...............
Iyala frowned down at her new captive, confused. She didn't sense anything malicious
from him. He was a Zabrak, and a Force sensitive one at that. But many Zabrak were, it wasn't
unusual. They had what was generally known as mind control, but she hadn't really believed it
He hadn't spoken more than his name, but the soft quietness of his voice, the deep,
velvety tones, told her much more than any words he could have said. She couldn't tell how old
he was--all these Zabrak seemed to be the same size. He looked mature enough, except for his
lack of horns. The thickness of his muscles, the smoothness of his face...surely he had to be old
enough to know better.
And the way he was looking at her....it was almost arousing. Unless he was trying to use
that mind control thing of his on her. She didn't lower her gun, even though by now she was sure
he meant her no harm. Well, not the hurting kind of harm, anyway. Maybe he thought she was a
prostitute. She couldn't really be insulted, considering the way she was dressed. But most johns
didn't stalk prostitutes. They didn't have to stalk them.
He turned and leaned against the wall, watching her as she watched him. She'd felt him
for a while now, at first brushing him off as just being idly curious and then allowing him to
follow her just to see where it would lead. Now that she was here, she slightly regretted her
decision, for now she had no idea what to do about him.
He wasn't exactly unattractive...and his clothes were pretty pathetic. Standard black
issues, the kind that charities gave away because the material was too course to be sold and yet
durable enough for those who had to live on the streets. As tempted as she was to feel sorry for
him and his obviously impoverished condition, she couldn't help but be wary of the way he
moved. It was with a certain delicateness and grace that made her suspect he was not at all what
he seemed. Still, there seemed to be something so...needing...about him....
She sighed again, her gun hand dropping. Maybe they were all right about her. Maybe
she should just go back home and work for some public charity service. She was just too soft
hearted to live this kind of life. After all, she was about to say--
"Well, since you've gone through all the trouble of catching up with me," she said,
swinging her bag over her shoulder and holstering her gun, "you may as well come along."
He straightened, surprised. But he did not hesitate to follow her retreating form down the
alley, even as she swore under her breath the entire way.
Now...it had to be now! She knew he was here--there was no sense in waiting any longer.
He extended his hand toward the door and the internal mechanisms creaked and groaned as they
gave in to his will. The door slid back and Maul realized that the room inside was completely
Perhaps she had known he was coming even before he had decided to come. It was not
the first time that had happened, but it would be the last. The hold he had on her would end,
He stepped into the chamber, pulling his lightsaber from his belt. He did not ignite it--no
sense it being so aggressive. Perhaps he would toy with her a bit. This would be the last time he
would see her, after all. There would be no turning back.
"Khameir?" came her voice, slightly rough with age, from the back corner of the room.
She stepped forward, and he caught the glint of metal in her hand. So she had that cortis ore wand in her possession still. Perhaps it had been a gift from Zenar, his last effort to protect her
from her misbegotten Zabrak mate. Maul grinned. She would be no match for him, not with her
meager Force skills, even with that wand. But it would make the game a bit more fun.
"My name is Maul," he growled at her through his malicious grin. But she did not flinch
as she usually did whenever he referred to himself in that way. The first time he had used it, she
had nearly started to cry. He remembered with unwanted shame how he had almost turned back
at that moment, even though the Cult had only been a stepping stone to his destiny. There was no
turning back, not anymore.
Instead, her face was a mask of stone. Beautiful, golden stone, with hard, cold emeralds
where her soft eyes should have been. A grim line where her lush mouth should have been. Deep
lines of distress where she should have been beaming with pleasure at their reunion--no, all of
that was gone. He had turned Iyala into this walking corpse. And he could feel the rage coming
from her, banishing all of the fear he desired, the outrage that he would return to her now, after
all he had done to her. Her fingers were nearly white where she gripped the golden-colored base
of the wand, the crystal blade catching the faint light and sending it into his eyes, nearly blinding
This revenge should have been the sweetest of all. She did not fear him. She hated him.
Hated him with every inch of her being. And as determined as he had been to destroy her, so she
was determined to destroy him.
"No," she rasped, hearing his thoughts. He scowled at her intrusion, but she made no
effort to pull back. "You have already destroyed me. You destroyed me the first time we met."
Darth L. Dipsit
Don't worry, it's not like this the whole way through.
PART 7 continued:
She leaned forward, the scratches in her side complaining as she made an effort to
stand, forcing her to change her mind. He was in the bathroom for a few minutes and she took
the opportunity to pull off her towel and slip the tunic over her head. When he did emerge, there
was a huge smile of pride on his face, and his fingers were idly running over the ridges, where
the tips of the horns were just peeking through.
"Soon they will be fully grown," he said, his low voice husky in excitement. "Then I will
be an adult, and I can marry you."
The expression on her face had to be comical, as she felt her jaw slack and her eyes widen with his words. She didn't know which ones to examine first, but found that the ones
expressing his desire to marry her caused her lips to abruptly part in a soundless, breathy laugh.
"Excuse me?" she said.
He dropped to his knees, his hands reaching out for her legs, closing around her bare
thighs and making her skin tingle. She had to force herself to pull away, but it did little to
dampen his excitement.
"I cannot marry you until I am a full adult," he explained.
Okay, that was the second part of the sentence she should have noticed. An eyebrow
arched. "And you aren't an adult?" she asked dully.
He shook his head. "Not yet, but soon."
Now she was scowling, not sure whether to be angry or outraged. "Then how old are
you?" she asked, her voice rising slightly.
"Fifteen," he replied.
"FIFTEEN!" She stood up, forgetting that she was nude from the waist down. The tunic
covered her well enough, but the sudden burst of cool air between her legs was a startling
reminder. She stepped around him, her agitation so intense it made her arms shake as she
scooped up the trousers and struggled to put them on.
"Fifteen!" she cried again. "I slept with a fifteen year old....boy!" She whirled around as
she finally got the trousers to her waist, the rage sparking out from her and snapping around him
like electricity. "Great Yejion, it's not enough for me to be a whore but I also have to be a child
If she had been calmer, she might have seen his face darken and his rage begin to grow.
He was no *boy,* he was almost a full grown man, and certainly old enough to take care of
himself, and her, if she wished it. He had survived his life and lived to be as old as he was not
just by good fortune but because he was smart and strong, and he had special gifts. The outrage
that she should suddenly be rejecting him because of the number of his years swelled out of him
and he snapped, reaching for her with both hands, yanking her to him even as she swung her fists
at him in resistance.
He pulled her so close their chests were pressed together, and he glared down into her
face, his expression fierce and overwhelming. "I am no boy," he growled, and before she could
say another insulting word, he pulled her lips up to his and kissed her.
Instantly, everything came back. Every sensation, even the tearing pain of her suit being
ripped open and her flesh being torn, came rushing back into her mind, and it all made sense. He
was no boy, but he was not yet a man, either, and unable to control himself. It explained why she
hurt all over, why she couldn't remember everything that had happened last night. He was
reaching the peak of his growth, and he everything in him was very soft and malleable. His
hormones and his emotions were raging as they formed, at first soft like clay, but going into the
heavy heat to become hard and forever concrete. His attachment to her was overwhelming,
considering they had just met, but the timing had been everything. As the kiss softened, she
realized that he meant every word he had said to her. He meant to marry her, and even if she
refused he would follow her to his dying day, ever her faithful servant, ever her footstool, her
protector, her lover. It was too much--it scared her. She had never meant for this to happen,
never meant to get so involved.
Still, it was something part of her had always expected. She had been stupid, had let all
of this happen. She deserved it, deserved him, come hell or high water. She was stuck with it,
and while a part of her was excited by it--by him--another part felt like she had just been chained
a shackled, and was finally going to pay the price for her sins. Despair threatened her as he finally let her go. She wanted to cry, wanted to hit him,
wanted to turn and run. But she couldn't go anywhere. There was nowhere to go. Slowly, she
sank to her knees, her face in her hands. She felt his confusion, his own pain as he watched her
reaction. Minutes passed, and then he picked her up and carried her to the bed. The sudden fear
that he would force himself on her rose in her, but he soothed it away with gentle kisses in her
hair and the breathy warmth of his voice as he murmured reassurances into her neck.
Long minutes passed, and she waited, calm. Their emotions were tangled--she could not
tell one thing from another. But she could feel something warm there, something hopeful and
bright. And even though she wasn't entirely confident in the source of his emotions, she was sure
of one thing.
For whatever reason, he loved her. Instantly, and totally. His heart had become her slave.
She reached deep within herself and used the calming techniques. Maybe this was the
work of the Force. Maybe Yejion, in His Wisdom, had seen fit to do this to her as both her
punishment and her reward. She wasn't sure what she thought about any of that. But there would
be plenty of time to think about it. She raised her head and looked at him, this new part of
herself. Her fingers reached up and danced over the ridges, scraping slightly against the very tips
of his horns.
"Khameir," she whispered, and wasn't sure if she had even said his name before.
He touched her face, his fingers threading heavily into her thick hair. "I am yours," he
Hesitantly, she lowered her face to his, and kissed him. He returned it with gentle
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, after all.
"Then I have come to finish the job."
She sneered at him. "You unimaginable bastard. I'm a mere shell of the person I once
was. What is there left for you to do? Taking my life would be a mercy. You've already taken my
son, taken my honor, taken my love. There is nothing else!" She raised the wand and turned it so
that I was pointed at her own chest. "I will not give you the pleasure of showing me mercy! I will
take my own life before I'll let you have it!"
He lunged at her, lightning fast, using all his Force-trained reflexes. His gloved hand
reached out and slapped the wand from her grip, and the expression of horror on her face was
almost satisfying. She tried to pull back, but he was too fast. He caught her around the waist, his
hands locking around her wrists and pinning them against her as he crushed her chest into his.
His lightsaber fell to the floor behind him, forgotten.
"LET ME GO!" she screamed, her face a horrible, twisted mask of rage and pain. Her
eyes bore into his, the emerald stones finally falling away as tears streamed down her cheeks. He
could have killed her in that instant, snapping her spine in his grip, as iron-tight as it was. But he
suddenly felt no need.
She was already broken. Completely and utterly crushed. He had defeated her. He had
destroyed her. There was nothing left. She didn't even have her pride or her dignity.
He looked down at her, his fierce expression falling away. His feelings were betraying
him now, even as he struggled to contain them. But he lacked the discipline. He lacked the
ability. He lacked the strength. Even now he could feel the master chastising him, ashamed of
his weakness. If there had been any room for color on his tattooed cheeks, they would have
burned red with indignation. But still, he could not to it. He could not kill her. Not like this. Not after everything.
He bent his head close to hers. She had stopped struggling now, waiting for the
inevitable, like an old, dying dog waited for the final crack of gunshot. He searched her face,
searched her mind, running over the memories that were burned into her. He found the one of
their son, and she flinched, letting out a small groan. If he could not kill her, he would make her
suffer. It was her own fault, after all, for ever having gotten involved with him. If she had just
kept running that day, or had never come back to Iridonia--even though she had promised she
would--none of this might have happened to her. He could have taken his destiny alone. It would
have been the same either way. She had done this all to herself.
"Look at me, Iyala," he whispered, his voice still unchanged after all these years. She
flinched again, but shook her head, her last act of defiance. He clenched his gloved fingers
around her chin and brought her eyes up to meet his. He touched the memory again, the face of
his son before he had put the purple mask on his face burning bright and fresh in her mind. The
tears streamed down her cheeks, and he relished the pain.
Then he kissed her.
Summoning all the power at his command, he dove into her mind, searching for it. Surely
it was not dead--if his lust for her had not died, surely her lust for him had not died, either. Now
that he had already done all he could to betray her, it was time to make her betray herself.
She moaned when he found it, and called all of her remaining strength to her as she
struggled against him. But it was no use. He was too powerful.
Carrying her to the bed, he found that what was left of her lust for him was not as strong
as his lust for her. She still struggled, still cried as if she were being forced. He used his Zabrak
mind control to finish the task, and she gave into him, even though her body struggled. He found
he didn't mind. He had been with too many complacent concubines over the last several years.
Let her struggle, he thought. It would just make this sweeter still.
Darth L. Dipsit
It's well-written - am I correct in thinking that it is from a woman on the web who has written many Khameir Sarin stories and has them kept on a site? I've been there before, and it's a little bit racy for me...
However, the piece is good. Wait and see what everyone else thinks.
Darth L. Dipsit
All right - I did another Skywalker fight (it's a continuation off of the last story). I have decided to make a chronicle - maybe the idea sucks, but I decided to go with it. I also didn't get to edit it, so it's probably kind of rough.
THE SKYWALKER CHRONICLES
CHAPTER TWO: PARADISE LOST
Luke Skywalker looked up. Yes, he was back at home, and the stark constrast it made to his environment of moments before was astounding. The Jedi Master had just had the fight of his life with the greatest Sith Lord of all time in the old Sith domain - being home was a strange feeling, even though his absence had been fairly short. Nonetheless, his pupils here at the school would be worried. At the moment, however, Luke wanted nothing more than to spend a few hours in a hibernation cell. Explanations would have to wait until later.
The Jedi Master stood up and wandered away from his spot. He soon found his way around to the infirmary - it took him a long time, but he was also slightly dazed from his fight. Strangely, though, he encounered no one on his way there. Finally, he found a capsule to heal him. The effort of hauling himself inside was considerable, though he was able to turn on the cell and clamber inside relatively quickly. Before Skywalker lost consciousness, though, he felt a minor disturbance in the force, but in a moment it disappeared, along with every other thought or care in his mind...
"Welcome to my domain."
Luke awoke with a start. Someone had spoken. He had not imagined this voice - it was very real, like a cold, menacing sweep of wind, or the hard, gritty, sound of solid steel. Luke turned his head and saw two hard, calculating eyes, staring in at him, summing him up.
In an instant, Skywalker leapt from the hibernation cell and summoned his lightsaber, his health and vigor fully replenished.
"Who are you?"
"I am Exar Kun. This is my home."
Luke could now see the full profile of this man. He was powerfully built, with a Sith lightsaber at his side. His hair was sleek and black, and he wore tattered and simple garments.
"I thought I was on Yavin IV..."
"And you are."
"You are here because you are meant to be here. Did you really believe that your fight was over? Did you truly believe that your pathetic skills were sufficient to alter time and space? You did not bring yourself here with your own actions - you were summoned here to face judgment at the hands of the Sith. This is the Yavin IV before you knew it - when it was used for the study of the honorable Sith. I am the master of this establishment - this is my place of residence. So, when you are ready, I intend to destroy you to ensure the continuation of the Dark Side of the Force."
Luke was shocked by the news. However, this man, though obviously powerful, was nothing compared to Marka Ragnos - Luke was sure he could survive this yet. The Jedi Master grabbed his lightsaber, rolled his head between his shoulders, and prepared himself for battle.
"I'm ready," he heard himself say.
Kun was fast, so fast that it might have been the end of Skywalker if he had not armed himself first. The formidable enemy drew a blue Sith lightsaber and a moment later Luke took his ignited green blade and blocked the oncoming blow. No sooner had he reached up to counter the move, he felt the full force of his opponent's swing come crashing down on his lightsaber. The strength of this man was amazing. Luke was quick to recover, however, and jumped over Kun, directing a well-aimed force-push at his back. His offense was dodged by a quick sidestep made by his foe, and they both turned to face each other.
The fight had begun.
Luke swiveled around, trying to size up Exar Kun, trying to find a weakness, but there seemed to be nothing that could penetrate the man's aura. At the same time, they both ran at each other and attacked. It was a flurry of action, blow upon blow raining down on either side. The pure power of this new Sith Lord was nearly enough to wear down even Luke. However, neither side was losing ground - it was a battle of great intensity.
Luke tried several times to use the Force to his advantage, but Kun dodged or blocked every attempt he made - the fight was going nowhere. In a matter of time, Luke slipped and Exar Kun ran up to strike him down. But just when it seemed as though the Jedi Master's endurance might actually run out, Luke was presented with an opportunity, and he used it as far to his advantage has he could.
Exar Kun had an almost flawless technique with his lightsaber. He held it in two hands, caressing the handle and wielding his weapon like a true master. However, as he ran at Luke, he let go with one hand and stretched out to jab his opponent between the ribs single-handed. Luke saw this and found his opening.
Before Kun could reach him, Luke Skywalker jumped over Kun and waited for his foe to turn. Not wanting to risk dropping his lightsaber, Kun kept his one hand on the handle. This was the gap Luke needed to defeat this skilled Sith Lord. Instead of attacking, Skywalker called on the Force to bend the two blades back from a 180-degree shape and make the beams collinear. Instantly, the lightsabers separated and Kun found himself holding nothing but air. Before he knew what had happened, his own two sabers had folded back upon themselves, closing around and through Kun like a pair of shears.
An instant later, the two lightsabers fell to the floor and promptly shut off. Shocked at the battle's abrupt end, the Sith Lord looked outraged, but a moment later his dismembered upper body fell down from atop his legs and torso, which, no longer supporting the massive body, collapsed to the ground.
Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, had held his own for the second time that day, a day that had happened in three different millenia. He was exhausted. Kneeling down, he prepared to rest in one of the hibernation cells before making his plans on how to return home.
However, on his way over to the small capsules, Luke collapsed in a heap and felt himself once again summoned into the time-space continuum to some yet unknown danger...
Glentract, the Maul story you posted sounds like some woman's mad sexual Sith fantasy. It's a bit disturbing.
ya, well it said it was rated PG-13 for violence, not crap like that. I had also heard good things about it. I'm probably not going to post any more of it. I should have read the whole thing through before I posted any of it.l
ah post it we have many fans who have different hungers...lol....thinking website here.....lol
Revan vs. Yoda
The tiny jedi master's footsteps echoed through the halls of the Jedi temple. Yoda had been disturbed from his rest, there was a disturbance in the force. The dim illumination in the empty hallways left scattered shadows throught the hall, for once in his life Yoda was afraid.
"Having trouble getting to sleep master jedi?"
the voice echoed through his head in a low whisper, Yoda whirled around his hand clutching the hilt of his lightsaber and what he saw would be etched in his memories forever. There stood a sith lord in long black robes with a full helmet and cape, twin lightsabers drawn, the tiny jedi said only one word, "Revan."
"Yes master yoda," the whisper returned " I have searched far and wide for one worthy of my skill and finally I have come to you, I hope you won't dissapoint me." and with that he flourished his blades.
"For one such as you, time I do not have Revan."
"Master Yoda if you think you have a choice in this matter then you are sorely mistaken, you will fight me or i will slaughter the younglings as they sleep." Revan hissed in Yoda's head.
The tiny jedi ignited his green saber, "Then time it is for you to learn the true nature of the force."
With that the two master swordsmen clashed, sabers moving like lightening, Yoda sent a flurry of slashes at Revan bringing his saber high then faking downwards at the last second Revan took a step back and batted Yodas' saber aside with a flick of his wrist and kicked him square in the face, now Revan was on the offensive sabers humming as he slashed through the air, spinning he brought his crimson saber twards Yodas' middle, the jedi flipped over revans blade kicked off his chest and brought two midair slashes down on revan who parried them easily. Yoda landed behind Revan and sent a thrust towards his stomach but was sent flying by a chair. The tiny jedi master ducked as a chair flew over his head leaving a small crater in the wall behind him. He kicked off a flying piece of debris and sent a series of low slashes at Revan, who saw them coming before they had even entered the jedi masters head and deftly sidestepped brining his blades crashing down, he rained blow after blow on Yoda toying with the jedi penetrating his defenses time and time again, arcs of red and purple singed the very air as they flipped in deadly arcs with every flick of Revan's wrist, the powerful strokes came at Yoda time and time again but he didn't falter, he parried a low swipe and used it to propel himself over the sith lords head bringing his saber towards revan's middle with a powerful sroke. His arm froze in midair as much as yoda willed it to move but it only started to bend backwards, there was an audible snap then pain flooded his body, soon replaced by an intense burining between his ribs. Revan sent him flying with a burst of force lighting, the jedi looked down only to see his own lightsaber blade lodged between his ribs, it was the last thing he saw before his eyes clouded over and he became one with the force.
So this is what my husband reads. Well normally I wouldnt agrre with himon much but I want more of that disturbing story, lol, Or maybe some romantic stuff between Anakin and Amildala.? Anything for the wife of sithkiller?
sorry, no can do.
Darth L. Dipsit
Are you really married to Sithkiller?
Darth L. Dipsit
Sithkiller? Man, you don't have to ask his wife - he's 30. His birthday is November 10, 1974. Sorry if it seems creepy that I know that. He posted it in the info under his name (I read everyone's before I talk to them - by the way, Boba, I visited your homepage - it's cool as all Hell).
Like I told Sithkiller's wife, I'm going to write something involving Padme and Anakin.
Their honeymoon. :d
Darth L. Dipsit
Oh ho hooo...
Originally posted by Darth L. Dipsit
Sithkiller? Man, you don't have to ask his wife - he's 30. His birthday is November 10, 1974. Sorry if it seems creepy that I know that. He posted it in the info under his name (I read everyone's before I talk to them - by the way, Boba, I visited your homepage - it's cool as all Hell).
Thanks man it's my site.
Darth L. Dipsit
I know. Well done, man. I applaud you and encourage others to see the fruits of Boba's labor.
How old are you Dipsit? I've always wondered.
Darth L. Dipsit
Are you sure you really want to know? Mwa-ha-haa!
Darth L. Dipsit
All right. I'm 16, I live in the U.S., and I'm working on getting my Associate's Degree (two more years till I get it), at which I plan to major in theoretical physics and nanotechnological engineering. Sorry if that's too much information. Anyways, there isn't anything else to say - as you can undoubtedly tell, I'm not the coolest guy in the world. Again, I'm sorry if I put too much. I don't usually talk about myself. Didn't mean to go overboard, sir.
Thats alright. I knew you where from 14-17 in age (somehow)
Darth L. Dipsit
Cool, man. I'm not going to lie - I mean, I'm certainly not nearly as mature as some of the guys here, so it'd be pretty pointless.
lol. Well I like to picture what everybodies image is like rather than ask the person, it just causes less confusing and dissapointment. Don't worry though Dipsit, I knew that you where around that age so it's no suprise to me.
Darth L. Dipsit
All right. Peace, homey!
Originally posted by Darth L. Dipsit
All right. I'm 16, I live in the U.S., and I'm working on getting my Associate's Degree (two more years till I get it), at which I plan to major in theoretical physics and nanotechnological engineering. Sorry if that's too much information. Anyways, there isn't anything else to say - as you can undoubtedly tell, I'm not the coolest guy in the world. Again, I'm sorry if I put too much. I don't usually talk about myself. Didn't mean to go overboard, sir. Oooo, nanotechnology... I might get into that if my path with Genetic engineering doesn't go as planned...
Are you 15 Mantis?
Going to be 15 in October... Right now I'm 14...
i think all the stories are good if you ask me
i think there amsome
I think you should read the Mace Windu vs. Count Dooku story on the second page. I think it was written by a master writer. lol
Did you see the slide show on my site Glentract?
ya, it was good
Here's a Jango vs. maul story, lets see how it goes.
The harsh rain pelted fetts armour the harsh winds of stormy Kamino buffeting him back bluring his vision, Fett secured his gear and entered the bland kaminoan building, his hunt had brought him here, all tyranus had told him is that he was hunting down a rogue student,but this hunt was special this time he was hunting a sith. Fett enetered a large white chamber he heard the automatic door slam shut behind him he tried to open it but it was held closed by some great power. He was trapped. The bounty hunter cursed in huttese then turned slowly. A tall figure covered in black stepped forward, the room was silent except for the sound of the siths lightsaber igniting, then all hell broke loose. jango flew up into the air and opened up with both blasters sending a volley of blaster bolts at the sith but it was too fast, it returned jango's fire sending it whizzing straight back at him like a swarm of angry hornets. Fett was pegged in the shoulder and fell to the ground. The sith was almost on top of him now slashing wildly. jango hit the floor and swept the dark lords legs out from under him with a scissor kick. The double bladed lightsaber went flying. Fett seized what he knew would be his only chance and sent a quick right hook across mauls face followed by an uppercut underneath his chin knocking maul flat. Fett went for the killing blow but was sent flying backwards by a powerful force push. Maul brought his lightsaber to him and charged his foe channeling every ounce of hate into every slash driving jango back until he was pinned against a wall. Maul slashed at jango's head, jango ducked but unfortunately for them both maul cleaved Fetts jet pack. The explosion sent maul halfway across the room. The sith went for his saber but was only rewarded with searing pain as he grabbed the burnt out handle. From the smoke and ash Fett rose and if maul could have seen past his mandalorian helmet he would've seen the look of grim determination that was etched across the bounty hunters features. the both charged and met like twin hurricanes. Maul was fast but unfortunately he'd never been in a hand to hand combat situation before. Fett sent a left across his face followed by a jab and an elbow strike between mauls ribs. but maul was far from defenseless. Drawing his strength from the force he retaliated with a rapid flurry of punches to Jango's chest plate followed by a strike across his head dazing him, Maul grabbed him by the throat and smiled with pleasure as jango struggled for air. Fetts vision started to go black, mauls iron grip starving him of air, in desperation he grabbed the siths wrist and with his last strength he twisted it back and brought his other arm arcing up at the siths elbow snapping his arm. Maul howled in pain and sent a strong left across his hated enemy's face. Fett ignored it sending a flurry of jabs into mauls ribs there was a distinctive crack and the sith lord coughed up blood. blinded with rage maul sent a blast of force lightning rippling across Jango's chest. jango hit the floor but was almost instantly on his feet as maul grabbed one of his westar blasters . Fett deftly sidestepped the blast and wrenched mauls wrist sending the blaster tumbling through the air, he caught it with his free hand and blew a hole in mauls kneecap,he then brought his right across mauls head once twice three times, the sith hit the floor. He started to get up but was knocked down by a roundhouse kick to his face. fett twirled his pistol and returned it to his hip holster he then stood over his fallen enemy and fired a saberdart point blank into his jugular.
Darth L. Dipsit
Good work, sir. Very articulate.
Darth L. Dipsit
Think nothing of it. It's always good to see young blood making serious stories.
I agree with green dude they have all been awesome!
I really enjoyed this so far and i think he might be recruiting help from a couple folks for part 3.....we shall see! Feel free to comment here or hop on over to the starwars vs startrek thread and give him your thoughts!
Hey Jack Daniels... Its not part three that I wanted help writing... I acctually would really like to write a full blown story about the two universes cloiding and put in a whole lot more detail. More Jedi and just more of everything. But I dont know enough about either universe to do this. I will need help. If anyone is interested in assisting in writing this story please PM me. I will need lots of help.
Originally posted by chilled monkey
Thanks... be sure to check out Part 4... just posted above this.
Darth L. Dipsit
Your dialogue is very well-written and individual for each of your characters. I have been reading and I truly appreciate this quiet yet extremely contributive addition to our forum, Mr.TRSundown, sir.
Thanks... Again I appreciate it. This has all been a quickly typed fast running storyline... I am hoping to finish this and then go back and really write a story for it with more detail and more character development. I will keep everyone posted on the progress... I hope.
As the blue blade came hurtling towards Revan he dived out of the way and knocked it to the floor with a force push the he threw his other hand out in the direction the exile was. The dark and gloomy sith temple was lit by a strong blue light the force lightning hit the exile in center of his chest throwing him to the floor Revan continued to electrify the now bloody and batted man that lay on the floor until a screams of pain and the buzz of electricity were all that filled the dark corridors and halls. Then he stopped and turned a round the exile looked at the man in his black hooded robes as Revan withdrew the blade off his red longsaber and said in a cold dry voice another Jedi master not worthy off there title.
The exile watched as Revan strode off into the darkness off the sith temple.
the story above and this story are my first goes at SW writing so please tell me what you think and tell me what you think i can aprove upon
Nice man awesome stories really sick job dude
Darth Yoda... Nice stories. Your descriptions of the scenes are good and it flows pretty well. You need to work a bit on puncuation and run-on sentences though... Over all its pretty good.
thanx man i no about needing to improve but well its my first so i wont be perfect im going to try and keep them coming
hi craig you shexy beast you!
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