Hmm, all right. VV may be back, or not (and if not, I wish her well). But in case she does, here is my final quick take.....
Episode 2: The Gist
The Naboo Express lands on a Coruscant platform and explodes, immediately prompting Ford to recall all other 2002 Naboo Express models off the market. Padme is unscathed and makes it (along with her Harajuku legion) to Palpatine's office, to meet up with the SuperChancellor and the Jedi council.
Obi-Wan and Ani make it to the luxury suite of the Betty Ford Posh Clinic to meet up with (ugh) Jar-Jar, whose Basic language had not improved at all in 10 years passing.
Obi-Wan and Ani make pleasantries to Padme, although Ani had trouble getting his feeling across to her
("Hi, I'm Anakin. I'm your density."
"My what?"
"Oh...I mean, 'destiny'."
Jango Fett hooks up with an assassin, who fails to kill Padme, fails to kill the Jedi, and fails to stay alive. Loser.
Concerned deputized agents of the law, Obi-Wan investigates who the weirdo was that started this whole rhumba. Ani and Padme with R2 in tow head to Naboo to make sure the senator is safer there. Ani this time remembers to bring the baby oil.
Obi-Wan heads to the library and meets the librarian that still gives me the heebie-jeebies every time she shows up on screen. Clueless as to the whereabouts of the 'removed' planet Geonosis, Kenobi consults Yoda and the entire cast of the Mickey Mouse club to figure out that someone erased the planet from the archives (way to go, Matlock.)
Insert flirty love scenes of Ani and Padme here.
Kenobi goes to Kamino, and forgets to pack an umbrella. He meets up with Jango, sees the clones in production, meets Boba, fights, almost falls into the ocean, and FINALLY chases Slave 1 through an asteroid belt. Man, doesn't this guy ever rest?
Ani has bad dreams after his late night snack and has visions of his mom (no, not THAT kind. Pervert.) He, Padme, and R2 head to Tatooine. Watto leads them to the Lars homestead , where they tell them that she's been taken by the Sand People. Ani pursues, but comes too late and does his own reenactment of Michael Douglas' "Falling Down" (own it on video!)
Kenobi lands on Geonosis and is captured by Count Dracu- - uh, Dooku.
Ani buries his mom, takes off with Padme, R2 and 3PO (without asking the Lars if he can take him! What's up with that?) and land on Geonosis, where they are captured. R2 and 3PO get separated.
All three are taken out to the arena to be executed by creatures from 'Masters of the Universe', but are saved by the Jedi, whom are attacked by the droid army, which are assaulted by the army of the Republic.
Everyone follow me? Good.
Jango loses his head (literally), Padme tells Ani that she loves him, and the Clone Wars begins.
Ani and Kenobi corner Dooku.. for about 30 seconds, and then Ani, being a Skywalker, charges in first and gets beaten up later. Obi-Wan does his best to defend himself, and Yoda comes to save their hindquarters.
Dooku meets Sidious, the Jedi lick their wounds and Ani and Padme get hitched in West Virginia. Or is that Italy?
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