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Tired of all these Batman vs Spiderman threads....Lets have a real debate....who woul win in a battle between Aunt May and Alfred

I think Aunt May could take alfred in h2h....all shes gotta do is knee him in the groin (not really sure if you can say kick hin in the balls in a post)

Aunt May has a heart attack if she even lays eyes on "That awful Spider-Man".

Alfred would own her

Yeah but i seem to remember a comic where Aunt may took out Spidey monentarily with a blow to the head with a poker or something......this was when Green Goblin had captured her and spidey came to save her thing it was his daughter may who Norman had....so if she could take spidey...alfred would be no problem

she could do the same to alfred....and whats he gonna do? B!tch slap an old woman....

Well you asked who would win in a duel??

Now I'm not being sexist but when it comes to a frail old woman like Aunt May and man like Alfred I gotta say May would go down in a second.

I'm sorry, but I must agree with Doc Ock. Alfred would win hands, or rather, arms down, all six of 'em.

LOL!

Dude I think he means Alfred Pennyworth from Batman........don't you???

Because if you mean Alfred Molina then thats friggin hilarious

Alfred was on the British Secret Service and he served in the war. He kicks Aunt May's ass anytime.

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
Alfred was on the British Secret Service and he served in the war. He kicks Aunt May's ass anytime.

quite right old bean

I think its a draw cos they would eventually both be called home for their medicine time.

Originally posted by willRules
I think its a draw cos they would eventually both be called home for their medicine time.

Alfred (In comics) is only 50 or so. Aunt May is much older.

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
Alfred (In comics) is only 50 or so. Aunt May is much older.

she in her 60's

Awww crap.... was...were you meaning?

Awww crap LOL I guess I screwed that up, sorry.

Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at?

I'm such a retard

Originally posted by The_Red_Dagon
Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at?

I'm such a retard

don' t put yourself down sir.

Well, seeing as Alfred is a kind old gentlemen, he wouldn't hit an elederly lady.

Therefore, he would get the crap beat out of him.

By an old lady.

She B!tch slap him hit him with an umbrella then knee him.LOL!

I'd have to say Alfred Pennyworth would win in a fight. But i'm sure Mr. Pennyworth ain't a girlbasher tho...

Originally posted by Mainstream:

"Don't put yourself down sir."


Sorry, I don't know how to properly do that... but I'm a girl, and it's okay. I get mistaken for a guy all the time

Back to topic, Alfred (from Batman) would win. Sorry Aunt May. Looking at their resumes, one would quite rapidly come to the conclusion that Alfred has more exp. in fighting, but true, seeing that he is a gentleman, there's just the question of whether or not he would want to fight her

But......wait for it........Given enough 'prep time'...Aunt May could take him.....

nah aunt may is much hardcore than alfed and this woman has been through more than this butler lol.

Aunt may has been dead and come back several times. She isn't afraid to die. I think she could take this battle. She could get Jarvis to help her. (Tony Stark's butler) hehe

If Aunt May can beat or draw with Galactus then she should just about be able to take Alfred.

Aunt may rocks!

She punked logan and galactus.

Alfred will seduce her. Alfred will take some viagra, and the sound of their old, wrinkled, saggy flesh slapping together will keep Bruce up all night.

Originally posted by Cosmic Cube
Alfred will seduce her. Alfred will take some viagra, and the sound of their old, wrinkled, saggy flesh slapping together will keep Bruce up all night.

And we thought the death of his parents was what messed him up.

Originally posted by nigel45
And we thought the death of his parents was what messed him up.

lol, This would be far worse.

Originally posted by Cosmic Cube
lol, This would be far worse.

Oh man, with all the echoes in the Batcave? Bruce would be crazier than the Joker.

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
Alfred was on the British Secret Service and he served in the war. He kicks Aunt May's ass anytime.

Aunt May was a herald of Galactus, and KO'd Spider-Man with a vase.

Top that BEYOTCH!!



(Don't take the beyotch comment personally, it just seemed right to say at the moment)

Originally posted by Cosmic Cube
Alfred will seduce her. Alfred will take some viagra, and the sound of their old, wrinkled, saggy flesh slapping together will keep Bruce up all night.

Aww fu*k I think I'm going to throw up. puke Where the hell you get these ideas Cosmic Cube? I feel sick now that I read this.

Alfred is one of the incarnations of the Presence. no way Aunt May will win.

Originally posted by Hulk Power
Aww fu*k I think I'm going to throw up. puke Where the hell you get these ideas Cosmic Cube? I feel sick now that I read this.

They could always use a tub of mayonnaise to enhance the visual effects. It would sound a lot nastier too. Imagine that.

Originally posted by Cosmic Cube
They could always use a tub of mayonnaise to enhance the visual effects. It would sound a lot nastier too. Imagine that.

Holy shit Now I'm REALLY going to throw up. puke Are these your fantasies? You must watch some old people porn for you to know this stuff. I don't even want to know what goes on in your mind.

Originally posted by Hulk Power
Holy shit Now I'm REALLY going to throw up. puke Are these your fantasies? You must watch some old people porn for you to know this stuff. I don't even want to know what goes on in your mind. Lordy this thread is getting sick...

Yep i agree wid Spidey's Sister

Alfred would eat Aunt May alive.

He is a trained spy, and he hasn't forgotten his training (at least not most of it).

Alfred wins 8/10--he forfeit twice: Once for a stack of wheatcakes, and once for...

na Aunt May would'nt betray the memory of Ben for some stuffy old butler.....besides doesn't alfred like little boys?....i mean look at the company he hangs out with...Batman, Robin, Nightwing, etc

Originally posted by Tron
Aunt May was a herald of Galactus, and KO'd Spider-Man with a vase.

Top that BEYOTCH!!



(Don't take the beyotch comment personally, it just seemed right to say at the moment)

Already on that, she also swiped away galactus at one point.

and heck she raised spiderman(a true hero)....alfred raised a dilusional man in a cape

imagine all the times aunt may had to worry about peter all night.

Originally posted by havok801125
and heck she raised spiderman(a true hero)....alfred raised a dilusional man in a cape

...whos parents got gunned down right before his eyes and like Spider-man, it was his fault (I hope to god DC says Azarrello's run was OOC). How is Batman less of a hero than Spiderman?

Alfred's job was a lot harder than May's. She had Ben to help her out with Peter (who wasn't an emotional wreck like young Bruce was). By the time Ben got capped, Peter was a teen. Sure, they had money problems (unlike Alfred and Bruce) but they got by.

Also, people have got to be crazy to think May wouldn't shag Alfred. Sure, she has been faithful to Ben's memory (more or less) but she's gone on dates with Toomes and Octavius. I'm sure Toomes probably tried to hit it...and she more than likely gave in. She ain't getting any younger, and nearly two decades have gone by (comic wise) since she's had some of the magic stick.

good post man

yea but spiderman didn't ask for his powers and uses them regardless like it was a sentence charged upon him. And if you read any of spidey's life you'd know it was hell, he nevre tries to kill, THE ORIGINAL BATMAN had a gun, either way spidey has the most developed character of all superheroes, and thats why he's number one in popularity terms, people feel with him on many issues.

guys.....sorry about my slip but its Aunt May vs Alfred....not bats vs spidey

Yeah, get back on topic!!!

*shakes fist in anger*

We all know alferd is really a badass. Alferd was beating down mofo's when bruce was still peeing in his bed.

That's what I've been saying.

Alfred was like a fake-ass James Bond back in the day.

*gives Alfred respek knuckles*

Originally posted by havok801125


good post man

Thanks.

Originally posted by DrDoom
That's what I've been saying.

Alfred was like a fake-ass James Bond back in the day.

*gives Alfred respek knuckles*

Yeah but Aunt May was a Herald of Galactus.....and this was recent....not back in the day

here....

Behold the Alpha and the Omega.All other vs topics must end and we should gather here.This is the one above all.It has everything Aunt May Alfierd.....Old people sex vomiting nard kicks batman crying and wetting his bed hmm.....Heralds of Galactus respect Knuckles EVERYTHING

Originally posted by EvilCap America
Behold the Alpha and the Omega.All other vs topics must end and we should gather here.This is the one above all.It has everything Aunt May Alfierd.....Old people sex vomiting nard kicks batman crying and wetting his bed hmm.....Heralds of Galactus respect Knuckles EVERYTHING

I agree....tell all your friends about it.....

Will do, creative on your behalf havok.

Alfred is an incarnation of Presence he wins.

nah, one cosmic purse swing and he's done for.

Don't forget about the pepper spray......one squirt of that into alfreds eyes, a kick in the nether region and his down for the count

Well, Alfred's a gentlemen, so he wouldn't physically hurt May, but...

I figure he could smooth talk his way into her heart (chicks love the 'stach,) move in talk about marriage the whole nine yards. And when he's finally situated, he could take her for everything she's worth like the senile old bat she is.

Originally posted by havok801125
Don't forget about the pepper spray......one squirt of that into alfreds eyes, a kick in the nether region and his down for the count

Dude, Alfred fought in the war! In Special-Ops team. He doesn't have to hurt May, just disable her.

how's he gonna do that when he's got pepper spray in his eyes and his lying on the floor in holding his groin in agony?...aunt may aint gonna let up then......as soon as she recovers her breath she's gonna go looking for a vase and then it'll be KO alfred

He can disbale her before she can do anything.

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
He can disbale her before she can do anything.

Alfred will mop the floor with Aunt may literally.

Originally posted by MERCILOUS
Well, Alfred's a gentlemen, so he wouldn't physically hurt May, but...

I figure he could smooth talk his way into her heart (chicks love the 'stach,) move in talk about marriage the whole nine yards. And when he's finally situated, he could take her for everything she's worth like the senile old bat she is.

senile......i beg your pardon......she's not senile...anyway how would alfred smooth talk her?....whats he gonna say?.....she's too savvy to fall for for that...it may have happened in the past but she's learned from her mistakes

Not senile? Ok whatever, let's just go with gullible old bag instead.

It may have happened in the past? Really? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Alfred's all smooth man, and he's got nice suits and that killer 'stach! Not to mention that accent.

Besides, you asked...

cosmic bag swing woomph!!

Nuff' said.

okay then ...maybe alfred might take this one.......

aunt may is a hardened whore,a ***** that wil eat all men alive!!!!!!!!!!!! she will eat alfred for lunch, actually i find out that shes an ex pornstar and a huge don of the black underwolrd of america.

From what I've seen, it looks like Alfred takes this.

shell strip and alfred will be hypnotized. nough said.

Why would Alfred be hypnotized by her? Alfred is in his mid 50's and pretty handsome for his age. He would have lot of ladies with his charming skills if he would want to.

Aunt May is 75 year old hag.

I don't see what you are aiming to.

Aunt may is that old?

Alfred is handsome?

Originally posted by DarkCrawler
Why would Alfred be hypnotized by her? Alfred is in his mid 50's and pretty handsome for his age. He would have lot of ladies with his charming skills if he would want to.

Aunt May is 75 year old hag.

I don't see what you are aiming to.

Mid fifties my ass. Batman is in his forties, and Alfred has been there from the start. I don't think the Wayne's would hire a 15 year old butler.

lol

Originally posted by Cosmic Cube
Mid fifties my ass. Batman is in his forties, and Alfred has been there from the start. I don't think the Wayne's would hire a 15 year old butler.

But he might have.........given enough prep time

lol agagin

Thanks Codera.....by the way i love that similee in your sig.....where did u get it from