Lyrics that have you LOL

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WickedTexasMomA
TENACIOUS D LYRICS

"City Hall"

All you people up there in City Hall,
You're ****in' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you mother****ers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and ****in' rise!

Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the ****in' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should **** shit up,
Yeah we should ****in' start a riot.
A Riot!

We have 'em screaming in the streets,
we have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' ****in' windows of small businesses,
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!


And then after the smoke is cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.

We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!


We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.


The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old ****in' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!


We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.


The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!


We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll ****in' lead as Two Kings.


Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.


Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...


We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.


Oh my God.
Ahh... What?
Dude, the red phone is flashing.
Oh, yeah.
Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
Who is it?
What?! No! No ****ing way!
What?
Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
Oh my God... what?
Dude, I gotta stay here!
Why do I have to go?
Please! Please!
Oh, God, okay.
Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.
All right Parliament, I know this is ****ed up,
but Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him "Duke," a kick ass "Duke."
Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...


We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
we'll really lead as Two Kings.


Uh, dude?
Rage.
I went all over Idaho...
Yeah?
Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
What? There was no famine?
Yeah, there was no famine, no.
Dude.
I don't know what's uh...
A toast...
A toast...
Long live the "D."
Long live the "D."

Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
What?
For the good of the land.
You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!


City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.

People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.

People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!


Don't, cut that part out.

We've got it.

Um, do you believe in God?
I believe, I believe.
You do?
I believe in God. I believe in God.
Y'do--
I believe in God.
Do you?
I believe in God.

Malibu Nights

Yeah, but you didn't ****in' come out with this (one)--!

I got some lyrics.

Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... hah-or-eeee!

baddspellahl4
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez)

4 Da Shorteez-
Gather 'round and let me tell ya somethin'.
4 Da Shorteez-
Can't you hear them little stomachs rumblin'?
4 Da Shorteez-
Yo, ya gonna eat that raggamuffin?
4 Da Shorteez-
Let's show the shorteez some lovin'.
C'mon, my name is Sir Loin, been at this for a while.
I got four stomachs for only one stomach and mouth.
That's a little empty belly with the vacancy sign.
Kinda like close encounters of the charity kind.
Ya got canned goods just collectin' dust.
Ya got meat, got fruit, got vegetables.
Only prerequisites that can set a bowl.
Get ya freak on at my freaky food festival.
Cold cuts a must, I'll even take bread crust.
Cuz the shorteez be beggin', some begga's don't give a ****
They's hungry, let's face facts, they starve.
Feel a void in your heart, fill ya shoppin' cart, 4 Da Shorteez.

4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez, y'all)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez)

Think at what's at stake, look upon your plate.
If it's a slab o' steak, time to regurgitate.
Ya got a double chin, their little jim's too slim.
Ya little fingers could fit in
The little kid's expose ribs.
Just think of all da shorteez, can't ya hear 'em cry?
Paula, cough up that burger and fries.
Hams on my left, double cans, Bob's got high.
Give to the hungry shorteez, so the shorteez won't die.
Stop the famine, please, instead of eatin' ham and cheese.
Throw away your greens, you be pissin' on a dream.
Gimme all your onion rings, it's a'ight, listen.
A slice a pizza, it don't matter if a bite's missin'.
Prime rib, porkchop, porterhouse, it don't stop.
My actin' like hogslop, to the shorteez it's alot.
They been hungry since birth, so hand over your desert.
Open up your mouth, stick a finger down, it could be worse.
Listen closely, gimme all your groceries.
Cuz a little baby's screamin' "Man, I need a hoagie!"
"Somebody hold me, somebody console me, somebody boil me up a pot o' pepperonis!"
Think of what we're facin', all those little faces, c'mon it's a race it's...4 Da Shorteez.

(Check it out)
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez, y'all!)

4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!

Got crackers, got chips, got puddin' cups.
You'd be surprised what little shorteez like to munch.
Could be trash, could be mold, could be excrement.
Could be a bag o' old diapers, they'd call that lunch.
Mayonaise been out for a couple o' days.
Milk and corpses, scabs and eggs.
Sweet bread, pig heads, horse heads, too.
Wanna drop it like it hot?
Here's what ya do.

(4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!)
6-1-2 Wharf Avenue, what?
6-1-2 Wharf Avenue, what?
(4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!)
6-1-2 Wharf Avenue, what?
6-1-2 Wharf Avenue.

But, please, no more candy yams, man.
We got more candy yams than we know what to do with.
MC Pee Pants in the h--I mean...uh, Sir Loin's in the house!
And I'm out!

Korri
Originally posted by WickedTexasMomA
TENACIOUS D LYRICS

"City Hall"

All you people up there in City Hall,
You're ****in' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you mother****ers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and ****in' rise!

Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the ****in' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should **** shit up,
Yeah we should ****in' start a riot.
A Riot!

We have 'em screaming in the streets,
we have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' ****in' windows of small businesses,
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!


And then after the smoke is cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.

We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!


We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.


The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old ****in' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!


We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.


The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!


We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll ****in' lead as Two Kings.


Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.


Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...


We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.


Oh my God.
Ahh... What?
Dude, the red phone is flashing.
Oh, yeah.
Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
Who is it?
What?! No! No ****ing way!
What?
Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
Oh my God... what?
Dude, I gotta stay here!
Why do I have to go?
Please! Please!
Oh, God, okay.
Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.
All right Parliament, I know this is ****ed up,
but Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him "Duke," a kick ass "Duke."
Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...


We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
we'll really lead as Two Kings.


Uh, dude?
Rage.
I went all over Idaho...
Yeah?
Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
What? There was no famine?
Yeah, there was no famine, no.
Dude.
I don't know what's uh...
A toast...
A toast...
Long live the "D."
Long live the "D."

Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
What?
For the good of the land.
You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!


City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.

People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.

People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!


Don't, cut that part out.

We've got it.

Um, do you believe in God?
I believe, I believe.
You do?
I believe in God. I believe in God.
Y'do--
I believe in God.
Do you?
I believe in God.

Malibu Nights

Yeah, but you didn't ****in' come out with this (one)--!

I got some lyrics.

Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... hah-or-eeee!

Lets Fooking start a Riot droolio

§P0oONY
"Hey, there, shitty shitty *** ***,
Shitty shitty *** ***, how do you do?
Hey, there, shitty shitty *** ***,
Shitty shitty *** ***, how do you do?"

Mr Garrison from South Park episode 502

Korri
SOAD - Violent Pornography dj

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know,WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV.
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's on the TV
F*ck
Turn off your TV,
Can you say "brainwashing"

B, b, b, brainwashing

It's a non-stop disco

Bardock42
Every Tenacious D song has me L. O. L.

Anna85
huh

s|m
Afroman - Because I got high (http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/A/Afroman/Afroman%20-%20Because%20I%20Got%20High%20lyrics.htm)
Bloodhound gang - The roof is on fire (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/The-Roof-is-on-Fire-lyrics-Bloodhound-Gang/4B8AFCFD3214FA7548256D250006E497)
laughing

Bardock42
Because I got High is great....

nutella-spatz
Originally posted by Korri
SOAD - Violent Pornography dj

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know,WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV.
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,

Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody sucks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody f*cks,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody dies,
Everybody, everybody, everybody livin now,
Everybody, everybody, everybody cries,

It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know

It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's on the TV
F*ck
Turn off your TV,
Can you say "brainwashing"

B, b, b, brainwashing

It's a non-stop disco

eek!
I lover this song. droolio I love you, Korri.. at least you're taste in music. raver

punk

Bardock42
your raver

Pandemoniac
Oooh yeah!!!! Tenacious D kicks some major ass! Very funny lyrics.

"Double Team"


Damn, a hard day's rockin'. Better slip off ma shoes.
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend.
Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby. Slip out this book:
The Buttress of Windsor. Ho ho ho, who's this? How's it goin'?

That's the first thin' I say to you.
How's it goin'? Are you flowin'?
Listen honey,
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin',
Man I'd like to place my hand
upon your ****in' sexy ass and squeeze.
And squeeze!

Take off your blouse,
And your underpants,
Then take a look,
'Cause here me and KG come naked,
Out of the side-hatch,
With the oils and perfume and incense.
Now you're groovin',
Put on a cool '70s groove.
A funky groove to **** to.
A funky groove to **** to.

Me, me and KG,
It's all about sex supreme,
We likes to cream jeans. (sex)
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch? (sex)
That's what I'm offerin' you.
You step into our room,
And then you smell the perfume,
You lay upon our roundish bed,
And then you feel a tickling on your head.
It's KG with the feather and the French tickler,
Look out baby he got the tools.
And then you feel sumpin' down by your feet.
It's me, it's JB, I'm suckin' upon your toes.

We don't mind sucking on toes!
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toe, ow!
Havin' sex with me and KG,
Now you're talkin' double team supreme.

Let's roll!
Oh!
Ahh, oh!

What! Yeah! Huh! Nah! Oh!
Ah, that's it, that's right, ohmygah, oh-I-think-I'm-gonna, Ohh!
Deht! Deht! Eeee!
...Splooge!


That was the one.

Uneeklyconfused
Tenacious D ..laughing.. we could post the whole albumn...Jack Black ...rock......

*resisiting urge to post 'Hard F**king' 'Lee'...'Kielbasa'...'the road'...and 'Karate'.. ....*...no expression

Pandemoniac
'This is a song for the ladies, but fellows... listen closely' hihihi

Uneeklyconfused
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And f*ckin give her some smoochies too

tee heeembarrasment

Pandemoniac
Some times you've got to squeeze, sometimes you've got to say please...

Hmm, by the way, since we're talking music... guess what I've got?!

Uneeklyconfused
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna F*ck you



erm...something related to music ...big grin ....

Pandemoniac
Tadaa!

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by Pandemoniac
Tadaa!

Ticket to see James Brown ..eek!..... you lucky S.o.M!!!! glare...


when you going?..

(isnt he in jail..confused..)

Pandemoniac
June 29, less then 2 weeks from now. That's gonna be a hell of a party!
He isn't jail now, he gave up shooting cops years ago

Uneeklyconfused
eek!....that soo kool......

he gave up?...no you never give up ...shoot the poe poe till they're all gone...shifty..

Pandemoniac
Haha, he only shot at cops once along time ago, consult Bodycount for the serious cop-killing

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by Pandemoniac
Haha, he only shot at cops once along time ago, consult Bodycount for the serious cop-killing

he will escalte...at the Gig...he pulls out a Gatt and starts Capping every one....laughing....actually thats not funny at all ..
Pande wear a Bullitproof vest please ...messed...

Pandemoniac
If my departure from this world is meant to be because of a gunshot, I couldn't think of a cooler guy then J Brown to inflict it.
Imagine standing in line before Petrus, talking to the other people:
'Hey, how did you end up here?'
'Aah man, my wife accidentally drove me over cause she couldn't tell first gear from reverse'
'Hahahahaaa, sucker! I got shot by James Brown!!'

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by Pandemoniac
If my departure from this world is meant to be because of a gunshot, I couldn't think of a cooler guy then J Brown to inflict it.
Imagine standing in line before Petrus, talking to the other people:
'Hey, how did you end up here?'
'Aah man, my wife accidentally drove me over cause she couldn't tell first gear from reverse'
'Hahahahaaa, sucker! I got shot by James Brown!!'

hysterical...............

shot by James brown..vs...Run over my Mini being driven by wife....confused...


laughing... ok fair enough...

Pandemoniac
How about this one, by the fabulous Bloodhound Gang?

"I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks"

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Uneeklyconfused
LMFAO ...Hoooray for boobies!! rock...

how about this one

one feirce beer coaster albumn...

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny"

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog,
Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg,
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God,
Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog,
Like a DC-10: guaranteed to go down,
But baby your black box is the one that I found,
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money,
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny.

So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes,
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes,
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied,
She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side,
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose,
Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes,
Yeah I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be,
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny.

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty,
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty.

§P0oONY

Uneeklyconfused
Bloodhound gang
"A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying"

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Pandemoniac
Originally posted by Uneeklyconfused
LMFAO ...Hoooray for boobies!! rock...

how about this one

one feirce beer coaster albumn...

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny"

Hehehe, that's a classic!

Pandemoniac
And how about this naughty song by The holy Guns N Rosessss!

"Anything Goes"

I been thinkin' 'bout
Thinkin' 'bout sex
Always hungry for somethin'
That I haven't had yet
Maybe baby you got somethin' to lose
Well I got somethin',
I got somethin' for you

My way-your way
Anything goes tonight
My way-your way
Anything goes

Panties 'round your knees
With your ass in debris
Doin' dat grind
with a push and squeeze
Tied up, tied down,
up against the wall
Be my rubbermade baby
An' we can do it all

My way-your way
Anything goes tonight

Uneeklyconfused
..tee hee ....BHG...rock....

Bloody hell !!....Pande...eek!...that was .droolio....

Bardock42

Pandemoniac
Sir Mix-a-lot;

I like big butts!

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make Me so horney
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

(LA face with Oakland booty)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And UH, double up UH UH
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
Baby Got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)

Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice did miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
Baby got back
Little in tha middle but she got much back x4

Uneeklyconfused
Lol....laughing.....Pande

shakeit......

Pandemoniac
More easy tunes:

Afroman

"Because I Got High"

It's Like, I don't care about nothin man,
roll another blunt, Yea (ohh ohh ohh),

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I am taking it next semester and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
(La da da da da da da da da)
Now I am a paraplegic and i know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- because I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- because I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why, yea heyy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high

(La da da da da da da da da)

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I'm high

La da da da da da, La da da da, Shoop shooby doo wop.

Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

- cause I'm high

(hey where the cluck at cuz)

Well my name is afroman and I'm from east pomdale (east-pom-dale)
and all the tolweed I be smokin is bomb as helllllll (excelent delivery)
I don't beleive in Hitler, that's what I said (oh my goodness)
so all of you skins (skins) please give me more head

Uneeklyconfused
blink............didnt reolise how looooong that 'song' was ....

Pandemoniac
yeah, it's actually an opera

LeAtHerRFace
My song...

dun dun dund ud undal kdfalckm

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by LeAtHerRFace
My song...

dun dun dund ud undal kdfalckm

thats a nasty cough you have there ...messed ....

LeAtHerRFace
well excccussseee wacko

duan lakmc dafk jlksadnfk nklsad jkvcdasjkl

Pandemoniac
Can't leave out AD/DC

Big balls!

I'm ever upper class high society,
God's gift to ballroom notoriety,
I always fill my ballroom
(The event is never small)
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all
Oh I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No-one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best.
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Oh I've got big balls
repeat
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by LeAtHerRFace
well excccussseee wacko

duan lakmc dafk jlksadnfk nklsad jkvcdasjkl

your excused .but seruously you should go see a doctor about that cough...

LeAtHerRFace
laughing out loud thanks. well thank you... but im not sick stick out tongue

Uneeklyconfused
Originally posted by LeAtHerRFace
laughing out loud thanks. well thank you... but im not sick stick out tongue
are you sure?


your not sick from the disease eating away at you ?

Uneeklyconfused
Whats My Age Again? Blink 182

I took her out, it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started makin' out and she took off my pants
But then, I turned on the TV

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
then she looked down and saw me

And that's about the time that bit*h hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is call ID, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And you still act like you're in freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?

That's about the time that she broke up with me (what's my age again?)
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me, I'll never wanna act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

What's my age again...

WickedTexasMomA

baddspellahl4
Elmo's got a gun
Elmo's got a gun
Big bird's on the run
Ernie's dialin' 911
What made elmo snap,
Was he tired of big birds crap?
They said when Elmo was arrested
They found Oscar headless in the trash
I hear that Gordon's really runnin
Now that elmos got a gun,
The streets never gonna be the same.
Elmo's got a gun
Elmo's got a gun
Grover's head has come undone
Sesame street's not real fun -
*GUNSHOT*
You want me to walk around sesame street without a bulletproof
vest?!?
Forget about it!

baddspellahl4
Dragostea Din Tei Lyrics (Phonetics)

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

1) Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook,
she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera,
2) Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek


vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

3) Desoon, set spoon, cheseet, ah kum
Allo, youbeera mah, sint yel, vericheera

4) Allo, Allo, sint yarshio, Picasso,
Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic, un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek


vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa iay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha

Mi-a-hii
Mi-a-huu
Mi-a-haa
Mi-a-ha ha


vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

vrais a pleche dar numa numa i-ay
numa numa i-ay numa numa numa i-ay
kipul tow she dragosta din tay, ma mintesc day oki ti-ay

baddspellahl4
Hello(cellphone),greetings,it's me, an outlaw,
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I sent you a beep, and I'm brave,
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.


Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.

I call you , to tell you what I feel right now,
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I sent you a beep and I'm brave (strong),
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

Lana
Anything by Bloodhound Gang is guaranteed to crack me up. Of course, it doesn't help that I was 12-13 years old when I first heard them laughing out loud

a1hsauce
OMG!!! out of all the BloodHoung Gang songs nobody mentioned their last classic one:
Bad Touch!!!!!

("Ha ha, well now! We call this the act of mating. But there are several
other very important differences between human beings and animals that you
should know about."wink

(whisper: "I'd appreciate your input"wink

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me
and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want to you smothered, want you covered, like my Waffle House hash browns
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola stock you are
inclined to make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

CHORUS:
(do it now)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(do it again now)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(gettin' horny now)

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean, means "small craft
advisory"
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, B-5, you sunk my battle ship
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time", you'll Lovett just like
Lyle
And then we'll do it doggie style so we can both watch X-Files

(Chorus)
(repeat)
(repeat)

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