Originally posted by Nai Fohl
Yoda, Mace, NJO Luke, and ROTS Obi-Wan vs. Revan
Oh...well...just let us try to make something out of this thread that has - at least - a little bit of "sense".
So...little storytime.
Revan just sits around on the bridge of a starship adding some red coloured nail lacquer to his fingers (female Revan) or try to brush his teeth without removing his mask (male Revan).
Suddenly red lights start flashing and the terrible noice of a siren can be heared. Revan uses force lightning on 3 computer panels and they immediatly melt. Still red lights are flashing and the siren howls. Revan ignites his two lightsabers and throws them thereby destroying his THX sound system and the (digitally remastered) lights. The bridge is quiet and dark now.
The door to the bridge opens. A small silhouette appears carrying a little green lightsaber.
Yoda: Come your time has, Revan. Kick your ass badly we will.
Revan: Oooteenie ? (Translation: Realy ?)
A blue lightsaber is ignited and you can see a shadow doing some Ninja movements with it.
Obi-Wan: Yes. Only Sith ask stupid questions like that.
Revan: Oooteenie ? (Translation: Was that question as stupid as your goddamn ninja movements look or even more stupid ?)
Two more lightsabers are ignited. NJO Luke appears out of nowhere.
Luke: That sounds familar. Let me try that one too. Oooteenie ! (Translation: No matter how stupid the question was. It simply can't be as stupid as my hairstyle !)
Revan: Oooteenie ! (Translation: Yeah. Right !)
A purple lightsaber is ignited.
Mace: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.
Revan: Oooteenie ! Oooteenie ! (Translation: Shut the **** up, old man ! The only Lord in here is me...Lord Revan that is !)
Mace: Screw you, little sh*t !
They start fighting. Obi-Wan being the lousy team player he is rans into one of Revans lightsabers.
Obi-Wan: ARGHL ARGHL ARGHL
Mace: What the f*ck is happening ?
Revan: Oooteenie ! (Translation: I just accidentally cut through Obi-Wan...)
Mace: Why the f*ck did you do that ?
Revan Oooteenie ! (Translation: The ship hit a bump or something and my lightsaber just went through him.)
Mace: There are no motherf*cking bumps in motherf*cking space ! Kill him, dudes !
Yoda sneaks behind Revan. NJO Luke creates a black hole in space, destroys some planets and starts to juggle with his lightsabers.
Revan: Oooteenie ! (Translation: Impressive !)
Mace force pushes him and he just falls over Yoda that stands behind him. All three Jedi jump at him and cut him into tiny pieces with their lightsabers.
Yoda: Kicked his ass we have.
Mace: And now we'll gonna be like three Fonzies. And what Fonzie like ?
Luke: Wearing a bad excuse for a hairstyle and drinking some real hard stuff after killing a Sith Lord.
Mace: Correct-amundo !
Yoda: When 900 years you reached a good trinker you will be not.
They go into the next bar. Mace takes some Tequilla Sunrise, Yoda clears a bottle of Absinth and Luke just takes a bottle of milk. Still Luke is more drunken than Mace and Yoda when they leave the bar the next morning. The End.
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