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Want to be a mallcore kid? Well have I got the guide for you.

Be a mallcore kid!

My friend came up with this. I personally find it hilarious. I hope you enjoy it as much as i did.

Aside from the fact that they used the latest Soulfly album in that (which is actually good and not a disgrace to Sepultura), that's pretty accurate. Needs more Linkin Park and less Slayer, Sepultura and In Flames though, cos regardless of album age, majority of mallcore kids don't listen to those bands.

And I have a feeling one member won't be too happy with the #1 mallcore album

The newest Slipknot album doesn't belong there. It's a total 180 from their past albums, and from what I've read, not many of their fans necessarily like it, because it's too "artsy".

"God Hates Us All" is Slayer's most brutal album, and literally nobodies worthy of listening to it.

I'd like to make sure that everyone reads the comments for each album, because that's half of the laugh right there.

As for the comments above:
-The Sepultra related comments were directed toward how so few have heard old Sepultra and only listen to the more recent, mallcore version.
-As for the Slipknot related comments, neither me nor my friend here listen to Slipknot. He doesn't care about any 180s the band has pulled. The point of mentioning them was that all Mallcore kids MUST listen to Slipknot. Not an option. (see comment)
-In Flames... eh, I used to like them. Not much to say on them.
-As for Slayer, God Hates us All seems to be the most mallcore friendly album so far, which is sad considering the greatness of some of their past releases
-Linkin Park: Couldn't agree with you more.

I think that handles everything. Please remember that this was created for humors sake and not to steam yourself into a new pair of pants.

I would add Cradle of Filth to that list.

Originally posted by Deathblow

And I have a feeling one member won't be too happy with the #1 mallcore album

Yeah and Slippy's still recovering from shock when an Avril fan proclaimed that she liked Slipknot.

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=324116&perpage=20&highlight=slipknot&pagenumber=5

Ha, I remember that. Hilarious shit.

Yeah, Cradle of Filth is pretty mallcore. I'll bring that to Chris' attention if he ever feels like redoing his list.

Originally posted by RagnaViper

-As for Slayer, God Hates us All seems to be the most mallcore friendly album so far, which is sad considering the greatness of some of their past releases.

Bullshit. Apparently you never heard "Diabolus in Musica". Virtually every song had a Hip-Hop, nu metal beat. "God Hates Us All" is straight up death metal.

Ze pollz zpeak differentzy.

Most mallcore kids think of God Hates Us All whenever Slayer is mentioned.

and? dosn't make it user friendly or "mallcore," means its the one that they can remember the name of. sure i know the list was in jest but it really wasn't that funny, most of the cds are quite pallatable.

Slayer, Soilwork, In Flames, Lamb of God, Fear Factory, Sepultura, Chimaria? Since when the hell are they Mallcore? And as For SBVS Being Number 1...Thats Just ****ed up.

Originally posted by RagnaViper
Ze pollz zpeak differentzy.

Most mallcore kids think of God Hates Us All whenever Slayer is mentioned.

Where is this coming from? You conduct an interview with these kids, all of which have heard of Slayer, but only an album that was released before "mallcore" was even a label?

Riiiight. Besides, nobody listens to ****ing Dope anymore, especially not a 5 year old album, when they've had 2 others. Not only is your friend clueless, apparently it takes one to know one when it comes to labeling others, which is pathetic in its own right.

B-Real is cool

I made my own list...

..and another...

Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
Where is this coming from? You conduct an interview with these kids, all of which have heard of Slayer, but only an album that was released before "mallcore" was even a label?

Riiiight. Besides, nobody listens to ****ing Dope anymore, especially not a 5 year old album, when they've had 2 others. Not only is your friend clueless, apparently it takes one to know one when it comes to labeling others, which is pathetic in its own right.

Before mallcore was even a label? Whoa, hold up. Are we talking about the same Mallcore here? God Hates Us All was released in 2001. Nu-Metal has been around before that and Mallcore is just a derrogatory term for Nu-Metal.

Also, you missed the point on the mention of the album. "Every bands most recent album is always their best" is the caption for the album and the point of mentioning it. This is because so many mallcore kids think this album is Slayer's best, when it most certainly isn't. Far from it, in fact.

Also, I couldn't give two shits about if anyone listens to Dope anymore. They're a mallcore band so they were mentioned.

One last thing, calling him "clueless" and "pathetic" is unnecessary. You can have a false opinion of someone, but that was uncalled for. I won't try and continue any debate if you're only going to try and make yourself look big by dropping insults based off of ignorance.

Also, saying mallcore kids don't listen to the new Slipknot album is just...

Wow... I really am speechless. Slipknot is basically the most mallcore band in the world. EVER.

Originally posted by RagnaViper

Also, I couldn't give two shits about if anyone listens to Dope anymore. They're a mallcore band so they were mentioned.

One last thing, calling him "clueless" and "pathetic" is unnecessary. You can have a false opinion of someone, but that was uncalled for. I won't try and continue any debate if you're only going to try and make yourself look big by dropping insults based off of ignorance.

Never answered my question where "your friend" gathered this information. If the whole "last album is best" thing applies, why was a 6 year old Dope album picked over the other 2, the most recent being 2003.

I don't bother debating opinions unless someone else has something to say worth countering. For instance, this is a waste of my time. Nobody listens to Dope, nobody likes Limp Bizkit, Drowning Pool is a 2000's one hit wonder, Murderdolls are for the want to be goths, plus both LB and Dope have had two albums since the ones "your friend" provided.

Like I said, unless he's "mallcore" himself, which is another ****ing stupid label, how does he know? I know what kids like because A) I'm older and observe, and B) I lurk in this forum.

What's your/his excuse?

Originally posted by RagnaViper
Also, saying mallcore kids don't listen to the new Slipknot album is just...

Wow... I really am speechless. Slipknot is basically the most mallcore band in the world. EVER.

People other than teenagers trying to find themselves listen to Slipknot, you are aware? That doesn't detract from the bands MUSIC, and if to you, it does, you're no fan of the art.

BTW, your "friends" list isn't funny. Let him know.

Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
..and another... There's alot of emo-ish bands on there.. aren't "mallcore" kids more into nu-metal and stuff like that? I always pictured the typical mallcore kid being like an ICP fan..

Do you think this is first forum I've ever been to? I've been to plenty and seen plenty of mallcore kids. Pretty much all of them fit these categories of listening to this crap. We've both seen plenty of mallcore kids come and go - that's where the information was gathered. Hopefully that answers your question. As said before, Dope is a mallcore band and mentioned for that reason alone. Album doesn't matter.

As for the "your friend" thing, believe what you want. It makes things all the more interesting.

You may not hate mallcore kids like I do, but I deal with them all too often. Call me a "hater" or whatever. I still hate mallcore kids for the most part and I think their "f'ing stupid label" suits them.

Waste of time you say? I disagree. I enjoy debating music with fellow music enthusiasts. Personally, I thought that's what these forums were for...

Cinema, if you don't think it's funny, why don't you tell him? I found it hilarious personally. I was hoping people would find it funny like I did. Ya know, spread some cheer.

Originally posted by RagnaViper
Do you think this is first forum I've ever been to? I've been to plenty and seen plenty of mallcore kids. Pretty much all of them fit these categories of listening to this crap. We've both seen plenty of mallcore kids come and go - that's where the information was gathered. Hopefully that answers your question. As said before, Dope is a mallcore band and mentioned for that reason alone. Album doesn't matter.

As for the "your friend" thing, believe what you want. It makes things all the more interesting.

You may not hate mallcore kids like I do, but I deal with them all too often. Call me a "hater" or whatever. I still hate mallcore kids for the most part and I think their "f'ing stupid label" suits them.

Waste of time you say? I disagree. I enjoy debating music with fellow music enthusiasts. Personally, I thought that's what these forums were for...

Cinema, if you don't think it's funny, why don't you tell him? I found it hilarious personally. I was hoping people would find it funny like I did. Ya know, spread some cheer.

I'm very much anti-labelling people. Be it yourselves or someone else, it's not your place to do it, and not that you've done it (yet), to suggest that you never went through a phase in YOUR life where music played a factor, immulating the genre, would be totally false.

Chastise kids all you want. I don't hate kids for following trends, although I dislike the music. People can't help what appeals to them. I'd like to see your friend make a list of what HE listens to so that HE can open himself up to some criticism, then we'll see who's standing at the end.

This is no debate. This is a difference in opinion base on one person's experiences and predisposition to disliking kids who follow trends, and someone else's observations. Unless you stand/sit beside these kids individually, listening to their iPods or CD players, you've got no right or reason to lump them into categories by dress.

It's pathetic, and only reflects levels of contradiction and irony, considering again everyone's having gone through the same thing at some point in their lives. They don't bother me, I don't bother them.

I listen to Slipknot, I also listen to Frank Sinatra. I like Chimaira, I also like Aqua. I LOVE Slayer's last album, think it's their best, actually, and guess what else..I also love Linkin Park. Next time you decide to take it upon yourself to impose labels upon people you don't know shit about, keep in mind that things aren't always as they appear, and that there is such a thing as variation. I'm a great example.

Now, feel free to label me "mallcore" because I like certain bands.

Labels, labels, labels. You're right that I have no right to label people. How about this? I don't rip on anyones taste from now on. I'll just suggest some good stuff to listen to.

...

Considering this just an argument of opinion, I can't see this leading anywhere.

Understand one thing. I don't hate people for listening to crappy music. I'm not gonna hate you for listening to what you listen to. I only... "disapprove" of most of these kids I deal with.

Why you ask? Don't act like I've never tried to level with these guys. I've been to plenty of music stores before and I may talk to someone about their music. Nothing heavy, just a simple chat. The problem comes here though. They'll say something like "I listen to Korn and Slipknot and stuff." I might suggest a band or two such as... I don't know. Symphony X, Opeth, KMFDM. Just something besides the stuff they usually listen to. You know what they do? Rip that list apart. That annoys the hell out of me. If you're going to be boastful of listening to all the great false metal on MTV then rip someone else's suggestion to the ground without even listening to the music yourself, then you have no right to claiming that "Slipknot and Korn are way heavier than Manowar and Iron Maiden ever were." I'll just leave it at that. Hate the music, hate a majority of the fans attitudes toward music that they've never heard before.

That's the entire problem in a nut shell. Why I hate mallcores, the spoon fed version.

Oh well though. Listen to whatever you want. I could go on a long rant of why I hate bands like Slipknot, but it's just not worth it.

Its been fun.

Originally posted by Afro Cheese
There's alot of emo-ish bands on there.. aren't "mallcore" kids more into nu-metal and stuff like that? I always pictured the typical mallcore kid being like an ICP fan..

Yeah, there's a lot of emo stuff on there. Pretty skip-able though. No reason to dwell on this fact.

As for ICP... ICP fans are a different breed if you know what I mean. Not really mallcore, though I'm sure quite a few of them listen to some of that nu metal stuff like Korn. I personally find ICP fans to be of the hilarious genre though. Not so much stubborn ******* as much as someone you can't possibly take seriously.

Originally posted by RagnaViper

Wow... I really am speechless. Slipknot is basically the most mallcore band in the world. EVER. Eh, That goes to Korn, Atreyu and My Chemical Romance....And As for Hatebreed being on The "What they're not listening to list" I love Hatebreed myself But I know alot of Kids that Would go Under mallcore who listen to them...And I Doubt any Mallcore kids even know who Mastodon are...

agree with the ICP thing, look at Shaggy2Dope (dont know if hes even here anymore). would throw down with anyone who said something even slighty leaning toward possibly not like ICP (even if it was only macho bravado on the net). love 'em or hate 'em, ICP fans are still good for a laugh

Originally posted by RagnaViper

Oh well though. Listen to whatever you want. I could go on a long rant of why I hate bands like Slipknot, but it's just not worth it.

As it's not your place to label others, neither is it your place to impose your taste on other people. Granted, they are impressionable, which is why they listen to what they do, but regardless if you're successful or not, kids that listen to both "mainstream" metal, and the occassional lesser knwon bands are still going to referred to as mallcore or poseurs, just because they can rattle off band names like Meshuggah, DEP, or Lamb of God, because like yourself, people will assume they only know a song or two.

Let them listen to what they want, the outlets are there, and if they wanted to discover other bands, they can do it on their own accord, and I'm sure they would if they wanted to expand their horizons musically.

Originally posted by SlipknoT
Eh, That goes to Korn, Atreyu and My Chemical Romance....And As for Hatebreed being on The "What they're not listening to list" I love Hatebreed myself But I know alot of Kids that Would go Under mallcore who listen to them...And I Doubt any Mallcore kids even know who Mastodon are...

Well, Korn was more of the genre defining nu metal band. Atreyu is (I believe the term is) hardcore, an off shoot of punk. My Chemical Romance is more emo than anything. I wouldn't even give them the title of mallcore, more like a punk-emo band.

A major thing to consider is that a lot of metal bands gain a mallcore following, such as System of a Down and Slayer. I'm not to up to date with Hatebreed very much, so I'll lay off on them. From what I've heard though, mallcore.

Disagree with me if you want on Slipknot, but general consensus of metalheads is mallcore. Listen to them if you want but they're classified as nu metal for future reference.

Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
As it's not your place to label others, neither is it your place to impose your taste on other people. Granted, they are impressionable, which is why they listen to what they do, but regardless if you're successful or not, kids that listen to both "mainstream" metal, and the occassional lesser knwon bands are still going to referred to as mallcore or poseurs, just because they can rattle off band names like Meshuggah, DEP, or Lamb of God, because like yourself, people will assume they only know a song or two.

Let them listen to what they want, the outlets are there, and if they wanted to discover other bands, they can do it on their own accord, and I'm sure they would if they wanted to expand their horizons musically.

Do you realize that I'm an elitist yet? Cause I am.

I'm letting them listen to what they want. Hell, I'm not going to stop them. I can't unless I rip out their ears.

Suggesting more music is an act of kindness, and I'm treated with rudeness. That's not gonna work. Their ignorant attitude is where they fail, that's it.

Also, I'm not going to tell them to love these bands. I never tried to impose my taste on them. I just made a simple suggestion. I don't know how many times I have to say that.