<Insert Generic Laugh Here>
Old Man: Hey there, young fella. Bringing me good news today?
Chris Griffin: What?
Old Man: Come on over here, son.
Old Man: Hand me the paper, so I don't need to use my grabber.
Old Man: That's a nice muscly throwing arm you got there.
Chris Griffin: Thanks.
Old Man: Got a nice tip for you right here in my pocket.
Old Man: But my arthritis...
Old Man: Why don't you reach in there and fish it out for yourself?
Chris Griffin: That's okay, mister.
Chris Griffin: I don't collect until the end of the month. I'll see you tomorrow.
Chris Griffin: Weird.
Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris Griffin: It's this girl. I can't talk to her.
Chris Griffin: It's like girls are a different species or something.
Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?
Chris Griffin: Well, sure.
Old Man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.
Chris Griffin: No, thanks. I gotta get going.
Old Man: Don't make me beg, now.
Chris Griffin: You're funny. Bye.
Old Man: Get your fat ass back here.
Old Man: I was just wondering where the newspaper boy was.
[Answering Machine beeps]
Old Man: Haven't seen a newspaper in a couple days.
Old Man: Wonderin' if he ever gonna come back.
[Answering Machine beeps]
Old Man: Guess who?
Old Man: Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here.
Old Man: Thinkin' about the muscly-armed paperboy.
Old Man: Wishin' he'd come by and bring me some good news.
[Machine beeps]
Old Man: Where are you?
Old Man: You're starting to piss me off, you little piggly son of a *****.
Old Man: Call me.
[Theme music]