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Its very rainy and dreary here in York PA today - just wanted to give everybody a good laugh with a short joke !


An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a
> > baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.
> > When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring
> > mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to
> > hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver
> > the baby.
> >
> > The child did so.
> > > >
> > The mother pushed; and after a little while, the doctor lifted
> > the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him
> > to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he
> > thought of the baby. The little boy responded, "He shouldn't have
> > crawled in there in the first place. Spank his ass again."

Where'd you come up with that?

fortune coockie

nice joke!
its raining and ugly over here too

It's dry here, but with clouds from the rain we had yesterday.

yeah! I hate left-overs!

sometimes if you dont put a lid on them, they get fuzzy and blue. right yers?

blue? that's strange... they get red over here... but that's just because the dog eat from it... from time to time and then lays it back...

Dont feed your dog fuzzy leftovers you idiot !

My friend sent me that joke in an e-mail. I laughed like hell when I read it.

How about some new jokes here? I got two.

<><><><><>

Stretching A Dime

Rated PG-13

A Ukrainian and a Jew were discussing how far each could make a dime reach, and agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who'd get the most out of a dime.

The Jew bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes, and on the fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her roses.

He told the Ukrainian, "I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime."

The Ukrainian said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate the other one-half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and the fourth day I took a shit in the skin and sewed it back up. The fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back!"

<><><><><>

In light of the priest controversy these days:

QUICKIES - Rated G

A priest and a rabbi are walking down a street when they see a little kid up ahead.

The priest says to the rabbi "Hey, want to screw that kid?"

and the rabbi says, "Out of what?"

OK, I've got loads, but just one at a time for now.

A lady walks into a car dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car in the corner - a brand new, beautiful black BMW 525i and walks over to inspect it.


As she bends to inspect the interior and feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.

Very embarrassed, she quickly looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.


As she turns around, sure enough...... there standing next to her, is a salesman.

"Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"

Feeling very uncomfortable she asks,

"What is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers "Madame, if you farted just touching it, I can assure you........ you are going to shit yourself when you hear the price!"

Here's a PG-13/R joke.

One day three penises were talking about their owners. The first one said "I love my master, he strokes me every day." The second one said "I love my master, he rubs lotion on me every day." The third one said "I hate my master, he puts me in a smelly dark cave and never lets me out!"

Ahh, that kinda sucked.

Well, I heard it from a friend. I didn't laugh either.

Corran's was great though.

*takes a bow*

Why Thank you!!