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Ladies and Gentlesposters....

*Camera zooms in* WELCOME!

The headlines tonight:

-Absence of music mod Deathblow removes a few eyebrows.

We report live from inside the barren cyberland.

-Movie forum moderator, Cinemaddiction, breaks his leg. Oh yeah.

Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
I jumped on the table and all of a sudden I heard this loud noise, like a falling brain.

-Le Crew: Peaceful cyber clergy...or shadowy anta-gun-ists?

Originally posted by Ken Kenobi
See, it gives you a smaller profile if someone's returning fire.

-KMC referee Mills Dark tells us of how he wasn't always KMC's most annoying, let somehow likeable (like a small cat) peacekeeper.

Originally posted by DarkC
Sometimes....I was killing 2....possibly 5 children per night...it became an addiction.

Those are the headlines!

The KillerMovies Community Forum proudly presents, in association with some obscure brand of lemonade:

THE AC TODAY!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v178/DEATHGODNOOB/TheACToday.jpg
With me, Alpha Johannson Centauri.
---------------------------
OI! WHA'S GOIN' ON 'ERE?!

Our first story this evening focuses on KMC's much not-heralded but fun, philosophy forum. I use this recreational forum once in a while on a purely interest basis; fine. The effects in the short term are minimal, but what happens when you become addicted? One unfortunate KMCer discovered. I report, report, report.

AlcoholicPoet was a normal poster, just like you and me. Very reliable and he also owns a moustache. He doesn't sound troubled...*Dramatic camera zoom*...but he is. Infact, he has a brain-wrong as large as a planet and an inhuman mind as curved as a boomerang. A few months ago the philosophy forum was quiet, a nice place where people could gather round and talk about all kinds of smart topics. Such as aliens and what happens if you just eat chips. Now, however, it's taken a horrifically funny turn.

Mr. Poet's brain grew a separate and brand new chamber due to all the philosophy in his head. It became independant and decided to play a prank on him. It woke him up, and told him to go on KMC. What followed was a transformation into General QuiteClearIf YouLookCloseEnough....C-captain Obvious.

He went into the philosophy forum, wearing odd socks, and created the very non-interesting and obvious thread of "Would the absence of humans and Earth change the universe?" The poor old rumplug had no idea that it was such an obvious thread. Now a slave to his brain, he thought it was worthy of winning a nobel prize. But it wasn't was it? You silly cock. I catch'd up wif him.

AC: Don't you agree that unless YOU REGAIN CONTROL, the forum gets stuffed?
Originally posted by alcoholicpoet
I am trying to regain control, it's not like I'm not trying to regai...
AC: You must try much harder...
Originally posted by alcoholicpoet
Well I am, it's not like I'm happy with bells to be in this situation. I am trying har...
AC: Yeah but try REAAAALLY hard.
Originally posted by alcoholicpoet
For christ's sake I am trying.
He cried and ran off, like some crazy actress, but thanks for talking to us. Back to the studio, Alpha?

Thanks myself. One more quick story before the headlines, AC?

AC: The curse of the 05 member. Are we too nice, or too bloody like crazy animals? The answer is, the last one. KMC's most famous Mr. T impersonator, BackFire , tells us what he thought.

Originally posted by BackFire
Everyone says 'Awww give them a chance'. I don't think they'd be nearly so caring if these noobs were...four-legged cars....full of apples.

AC: Serious indeed. In other news, conspiracy theorists are a bunch of...

Shut it you! I want you to stop talking. Why? Because it's time for our headlines!!!

(After this page break)

-AC

Welcome back and shut up.

*Dramatic Music*
IT'S TIME FOR THE HEADLINES!

KMC's resident music moderator, Deathblow, has taken a leave of absence for quite some time. Plunging the music forum into total, head-rolling chaos.

We couldn't get a hold of the man, who's real name is Wisconsin Rotunda, but sources like Darth Revan who asked to not be named stated that he ran away at the sight of all the shit threads. He's reportedly suffering from a compound fractured mood.

Ahp neeeext: Find it funny at the pain of others? Do you laugh when a man falls over and smashes his bloody skull open? Yes, it's funny. KMC's very own Cinemaddiction (dependancy on visual images, pending) being injured is a completely different mass of sadness however. The movie forum king took part in a thread entitled "Best dance scene in a movie." It was for fun at first, but Cine (Real name Clutch Broadway) took his addiction way too far. He left the forum after a hard days work, then wanted to settle down and watch a movie. The choice? The Sound of Music, oh yeah. During the famous song performances he tried turning into Cine Astaire, dancing on the table and laughing while people watch amazed. Horror stuck the paddock when he slipped off a table after shouting "I'm Cine Wilder" and broke the axel of his left foot. Our injury correspondant Jeffrey Murdockfromtheateam caught up with him.

Jeff: Awoight mate, tell us what happened eh?
Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
I jumped on the table and all of a sudden I heard this loud noise, like a falling brain. I looked down to see my leg in all kinds of shapes. Spherical mainly.
Jeff: So what about your mod job? Your ankle's been smashed. Snapped. BANG! Like a stick of dry pasta in a cage with a lion.
Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
I'll stay off it, then I'm going to finish my new movie. No more musicals though.
Jeff: What movie are you finishing?
Originally posted by Cinemaddiction
It's called Ghost in the Ma-Cine. I play a disgruntled mod who has the ability to go into cyberspace and have fights with bad posters. Raz has a part in it, played by Mechmoggy.
Jeff: Excellent stuff...*Makes bomb noises*. Back to you Alpha, in the studio.

Thanks, you bastard.

*Crazy camera action*

GANG MENTALITY AND KIDS!!!!!

"Stop!" you might think, but shut up. Because for some criminalists the biggest invitation to commit wrong-happenings is attempted apprehension.

Le Crew are a gang. Consisting of Ken Kenobi (No relation to that Obi one), Lana, Stefan tha Fro, Rex, Roberto, SlipknoT (not the band, although we cannot guarantee that they aren't affiliated), Ronny the harlot, Irene and Deano. Are these young hellraisers truly raising hell? Or bringing down heaven so that we can all meet God himself and slap him across his face for neglection? Here's the answer:

They cause trouble and they want to kill most of the annoying newbies. Murder is wrong, lives matter, you say? Not in the case of annoying socks. I for one, back Le Crew, but what of others who do not share this vision? Religion specialist Heysoos Christofer reports from inside the churches, like some crazy idiot.

HC: One of Le Crew's congregations has just be adjourned, so I'm going to attempt to get a word from Le Crew (which refers to Lee Croux the groups founder, translated) leader, Ken Kenobi. Ken, what happened? I could sense the air of aggression during this sermon.
Originally posted by Ken Kenobi
At the start of the sermon I said to everyone, if you've got a weapon...leave. 10 minutes later I'm left with nobody but a few casual Le Crew recruits. Toward the end, one of them popped up with a gun, I had to plug him a couple of times in the face. He missed the shot because of two reasons. This bulletproof altar shield and my stance.
*He turns to the side in an attempted cool manner*
Originally posted by Ken Kenobi
See, it gives you a smaller profile if someone's returning fire.
HC: It's just like other religions, they're just really more violent and caring. So what does God think? Does he really care? Is he even listening? Or is he dead? Back to you Alpha Johannson Centauri in the KMC news dome high above the city.

Well done then.

And inter-luding: Traffic and nuisance report now! All threads on the welcome forum have been stopped due to Tex spilling his make-up all over the bloody information super-highway, causing all info and threads to skid on it and crash. Posters are piled up for miles. The OTF forum, home of our very own studios, experienced it's very own annoyance-plague, at the hands of Mastrix. Mastrix is currently trying to push "hero-cookies", if you see this man, don't buy any. They don't taste too good and they are made of clay. Poetry forum experiencing NO traffic.

ONE! That's the number of stories we have left tonight, but it's a dramatic one. The one you've all been waiting for...

Mills Dark is KMC's resident really friendly guy. Like the best friend you played with when you were bored until your actual best friend came back from vacation. He hates fighting and tries to solve it where ever he can, though he ends up getting twatted around the apex for it. He wasn't always the Mills we know today, he used to be very different indeed. Past reporter Micky Faeces? How's it all looking? Like a story?

Micky Faeces: Yes indeed Alpha, it looks pretty much like a story here.

Thanks. Tell us about it.

MF: Mills Dark, the attempted but failed continuously peacekeeper of KMC, never used to be so nice. He used to be a proper shitarse. Mills sat down and told me what caused his reversal of role.

MF: MILLS! Talk me some story.
Originally posted by DarkC (Mills Dark)
During my childhood years I was often poked with a cattle prod at Las Vegas and asked to go into the boxing rings to fight. I used my aggression outside the ring, letting it build up so that I can turn into a big green monster a rob banks. I'm very ashamed. I was doing it all. Robbery, extortion, piracy (as in actually sailing), beatings, murder.
MF: Bloody hell! Murder?
Originally posted by DarkC
Sometimes....I was killing 2....possibly 5 children per night...it became an addiction. I tried to break it but it was just too strong. Then there came a time when I went to the store and stole someones bag of fruit. On the way home a bird started divebombing me and I couldn't stop it. I somehow felt that I was the annoying horrid bird, to the world's grapes. It forced me to change and now I try to end fights where ever I find them. Even at the expense of getting lofted round the head.
MF: Admirable indeed matey. Thanks for talking to us. Stop touching my leg.

MF: After we were done he tried to calm me down because he thought I had tried to bully him into the conversation. Thank christ he's not like he was before, or things could end up in a mess. Like Milla as a global mod in a forum full of idiots, going mental. Alpha-tron, back to you.

We've just got time for headline predictions, some threads that could possibly be coming up in the world of KMC.

"Bill O' Reilly in George Bush fellation." says KidRock in the Republican Times. This should provide some entertainment.
"Milla starts her own country. 'Doomed to fail' says Lana" that's in the HopefullyWeCanGetTheseGirlstoCatFight Weekly.
"They ignored my strip antics so I streaked the forums" that's the explicit article on KMC's Ronny.
And finally "I used to believe that guys could be really close, just as friends. But I lost all faith when Rex tried biting my arm." That's A1Sauce's guy-friend hell in the KMC Tribune.

Thank you for reading, this has been The AC Today on the day that The AC Today posted it's first broadcast.

I've been your host, Alpha Cristobel Centauri. Goodnight!

-AC

PS: Copyright AC Productions. All rights reserved.
Feedback: [email protected]

Wow Gj

wow.....

Great

That was bloody fantastic clapping

Thank you, thank you very much.

Glad you found it entertaining. The AC Today may very well be a hit.

-AC

very informative LOL!!

OMFG thats AWESOME!!! YEAY AC!! WOOTAGE!!

Fact x Importance = News.

-AC

How is Korricle taking this?

Haven't got a clue. Haven't spoke to her since she stormed off over one word I said to her in joke the other day.

Haven't considered her reaction either to be honest. I'd hope she's got over her tantrum by now.

-AC

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri

KMC's resident music moderator, Deathblow, has taken a leave of absence for quite some time. Plunging the music forum into total, head-rolling chaos.

We couldn't get a hold of the man, who's real name is Wisconsin Rotunda, but sources like Darth Revan who asked to not be named stated that he ran away at the sight of all the shit threads. He's reportedly suffering from a compound fractured mood.



Hmmmm, I thought Deathblow had left so he could go through that sex change thing; thus he could finally live out his lifelong dream of becoming a Deftones groupie.

But my sources could be wrong. You are a real reporter.

Nice one AC.

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Haven't got a clue. Haven't spoke to her since she stormed off over one word I said to her in joke the other day.

Haven't considered her reaction either to be honest. I'd hope she's got over her tantrum by now.

-AC

It took me an hour to find the strength to get up off the floor after reading that, that is the ****ing funniest thing i think i have ever been subjected too. Nice one Aceface.

On the tantrum side of things, its still a little storm this side of the water. "ass".

Nice.

Korri, overly obnoxious sarcasm only works with me sweety. It doesn't work when you do it. Get over whatever it is that supposedly pissed you off, or if it didn't, quit acting the drama queen. I got no problem with you, it's minor. Just drop this whole "I'm a bad ass" thing, because it's really not you, you know it's not and we know it's not.

Now, my thread can continue.

Originally posted by Dr. Strangelove
But my sources could be wrong. You are a real reporter.

That WAS used as a cover. False though.

-AC

I'm sure there was a hidden hand extended in friendship there, AC... seems you missed it

I don't remember saying that, but oh well.

Mills...

Mills, Mills, Mills.

What am I going to do with you? You know, if I didn't find your presence quite funny and likeable, I'd have drown you now for being so oblivious.

-AC

Good point.

" I don't think they'd be nearly so caring if these noobs were...four-legged cars....full of apples."


WTF?

Nicely done, my hat is off to you, AC.

brilliant AC, nice one

AClive...

Originally posted by BackFire
Nicely done, my hat is off to you, AC.

Put that hat back on and cover up your dignity, you naughty boy nono

Oh, diss.

Next week!

The AC Today presents it's first competition! Details over the coming week.

-AC

Originally posted by Syren
Put that hat back on and cover up your dignity, you naughty boy nono


I think you misinterprited "hat" as "pants". Wishful thinking, eh? Naughty girl.

Wishful thinking, my left foot!

well done gentle sir...or madam, i'm not gonna limit my response to one gender, that could me misconstrued as sexist
either way, bravo!

Thanks, y'all.

-AC

You've really done it now, Centauri. I hope you're aware that in less than five minutes the feds will close in on this location and kill us all.

I bid you adieu, gentlemen.

Originally posted by bilb
OMFG thats AWESOME!!! YEAY AC!! WOOTAGE!!




Wu-Tang!

I was wondering when AC'd reopen this thread.

Technically Raven did.

But this wizard wishes for another Newscast.

omfg that's awesome How did I miss this the first time around?

I will have to pester AC about this.....hilarious....

Hello you!

F*cking brilliant stuff.

Tune in next week for Kiddystare, a show where naked two year olds frolic around for the enjoyment of adults.