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C-3PO descends from the heavens, wreathed in the blue flames of a thousand suns... His golden skin impossible to see through the blanket of fire. He lands on the ground, scortching the very earth beneath him.

"Oh my... terribly sorry! Where am I? Artoo? Artoo, where have you gotten us to?"

The little atrsomech droid beeps and whistles, settling down casually beside him. He emits a buzz, and whirls about, noting somerthing.

In front of them, in the field of battle, stands Marka Ragnos, the legendary leader of the fallen Sith Empire. He stands resplendant in his robes of black, gauntlets shimmering with the light of the glowing linguist droid. His sword, a collosal weapon of potency, held easily in one hand, his enchanted sceptre in the other. He looks upon them with disdain, and his mouth opens, uttering words that shake the very ground with their power.

"Fools! To barge in unnannounced into my realm! You shall know defeat a thousandfold when I am through with you!"

C-3PO shudders as only a droid can. "Oh no... A Sith Lord! Artoo, this is the end. Hold me."

Ragnos speeds forward, whirling his great sword above his head, ready to slash the droid in half. Just as he comes up to C-3PO, Artoo bumps into the golden droid, sending him sprawling. Ragnos misses, but quickly recovers, aiming to cleave the damn droid in two. Suddenly, he is shocked as a little taser appears from Artoo's chasis. The astromech droid starts rolling towards the Sith Lord, taser flashing.

"Argh! Damn insect.... stoppit! Ow.... you're hurting me!!"

Artoo keeps on assailing the great Sith Lord, tasering his ass, making him dance. Finally, Artoo reaches out, using the Force. Ragnos begins to lift in the air, spinning like mad. The taser keeps hitting him.

Beep, boop.... beeep!

"Artoo, what are you doing? What? You? A -god?! What nonsense, Artoo. You are an astromech droid... Why am I on fire? Well, i thought it was... the heat from the shuttle falling apart around us." C-3PO chattered. Finally, the plasma grenade that Artoo had stickied to his back went off, blowing him into pieces.

Meanwhile, Ragnos was on a wheel or torture. Artoo began to sling him back and forth, crashing into rocks and trees. Bouncing him like a basketball.

"Aahhh... let me die, I beg of you!" Ragnos cried. But he was in Artoo's clutches now, the God of Jawas!

Eventually, Ragnos was richochetted off of a particularly sharp rock, and died. Artoo beeped mournfully, for he had lost his toy. But at least that ass C-3PO got his. Mwa ha ha ha... MOral of the story? Don't **** with Artoo!

Are you sure you haven't been drunk since January?

lmao...

Lmao!

This is boredom at work, not alcohol, my friend.

Bump.

you're working on a Saturday?

Yeah, I work every day but Monday and Wednesday.

You work Sundays? Oh yeah, calls. Gotcha. You need a new career man. . . howabout writing Jawa comics?

I should. Jawa merchandising sounds in order. I am soo making a jawa sig when I get home tonight.

I need one. . .

It shall be done. Jawa pics are hard to find, so don't be opposed to sending me some...

Lol, I'm out of the house right now; using a laptop. I'll be looking for pics, and I'll send you as many as possible later. I have an idea as to how I want mine, but it's hard to explain. . . Damn I need to get Photoshop. . .

Photoshop was damn expensive.

Hence why I don't have it. . . . Adobe Photoshop's like what, $600.

Gtg, talk later.

I dunno about that much... Alright, later dude.

Please stop.

Originally posted by kamikz
Please stop.

I beg your pardon?

lol. you do what for a career, janus?

I work in a call center, taking reservations.

If that punk was talking to me, I'mma pwn him.

Like your new sig, btw, Thor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Janus

Originally posted by Darth_Janus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Janus

OMG, I wonder how long it will last.

Check it out! lmao

It is articulately written. Believeable.

Yeah, and it's already up for deletion. Man, some people have no lives.

LMAO!!!!!! But there's no mention of mwah?! I guess I help rebuild the Jawa League into the New Jaawa Order right? Again, LMAO!!

Hm, you're right. Let me reedit it.

Dark Lord of Jawas
Darth Janus was born a small, screaming jawa babe in the desert wastes of Tattooine to two unhappy parents. Secretly of the bloodline of the great Sith Lord, Marka Ragnos, Janus was a halfblood- that is, half jawa, half Sith. His dark powers began to manifest when he was aged three years. He crawled out of his room and to a nearby well, where he proclaimed that anyone who drank of this well would die horribly. Few believed him, including his parents. They all died, as the well was contaminated. There were dead jawa bodies everywhere.

Orphaned and alone so young, the soon-to-be-mighty Janus struck out on his own, crawling off into the desert. He encountered a large group of sand people roaming the wastes, and Force persuaded them to take him to their leader, whom he quickly defeated in mortal combat. Having tossed aside their leaders' broken body, the young Janus thus subjugated the entire Tuskan raider clan, which he used as his first army. Working methodically, he began to unite the sand people clans through battle and manipulation, moving towards his ultimate goal of dominating the more advanced cities and ports owned by the sentients in places such as Mos Eisely and Mos Espa. Lone moisture farmers in secluded areas were captured and brought to Janus' main camp, where they were interrogated for information and then sent to labor camps, mining ore in the valleys.

His first victory against a major enemy came when Janus, now aged twenty, laid siege to Mos Espa. In a grueling ten days, the budding Sith Lord finally starved the inhabitants- mostly humanoid sentients- into submission. On the eleventh day, he and his entourage of elite jawa guards marched into the city, claming it for their own. Amidst the rubble, Janus found the body of two Jedi knights. Most everything was picked over by the jawas. However, the lightsabers were brought before Lord Janus, and he took both as his special mementos. Eventually, he used rare crystals found in Tattooine mines to augment them, and was truly fierce from then on.

Janus then moved his armies westward, to conquer the swath of metropolis that contained Mos Eisley. When the city was his at last, a few months later, Janus and his crew began to commandeer ships. Thus began the jawa exodus into the reaches of space.





The Great Jawa Wars
Janus' army of spacefaring jawas then moved on to conquer planets on the Outer Rim with frightening speed and precision. Gathering mroe and more jedi and sith holocrons, lore, and weapons, Janus delved more and more into the mysteries and powers of the dark side. This attracted the attention of the Jedi Council and the Republic, who were still healing from the wounds inflicted by Exar Kun and Darth Revan, not fifty years prior. The Republic sent a fleet of warships to the Outer Rim, and engaged Janus' jawa forces above Dantooine. In the chaos and suffering that followed, the Republic was decimated, the jawa leader having used a high-level battle meditation to totally undermine the Republic's efforts. Admiral Fortuna, the Republic leading officer, was captured and held as ransom for a million credits, only to be murdered when the credits where given to the jawa army.

After this, the Jedi Order sought to combat this new threat, but Janus suddenly disappeared, his army vanishing beyond the Outer Rim into the Unknown Regions of space. Finally, after three years, he returned, a full fledged Sith Lord, and the new Darth Janus literally appeared (along with his cohorts, Darth Faurus and Darth Sorgo), straight out of hyperspace, above the skies of Coruscant with his new fleet of Sith warships. In his altimatum to the supreme chancellor, Darth Janus gives us insight into his views on the Republic, democracy, and the Jedi:

"Oooteenie!"

He then gave the order for his Sith Jawa elite forces to glass the planet.





Janus is Challenged
In response to the heinous order, the head of the Jedi Order, Master Brianna, called out to this Darth Janus, begging him to spare the lives of the sentients on Coruscant. Janus agrees, and allows Brianna to come aboard his ship, where the two fight on the bridge. Brianna is defeated, and Janus sends her severed head to the Jedi Council, along with demands for the Order to abandon their temple and join his forces as lowly servants or die in defiance.

The Jedi mostly chose the latter.

Janus ordered his fleet to glass key parts of the planet and to engage the remnants of the Republic fleet, while he and his elite Sith jawas landed on Coruscant. What followed has been entitled 'The Second Jedi Purge', with the first refering to the Jedi Civil War and Revan's machinations.





The Rise of the Sith Jawas
Within hours, the Jedi were exterminated, and Darth Janus held claim to the Republic and the known galaxy. He decreed from this point onward that all the history of the 'Talls' be erased, and a new age of the Sith Jawas would ensue.

However, this was not to be. There began rebellion, mostly in the Mid Rim and Core worlds, where sentients would not abide by the rule of short, Sitherly jawas. For the next ten years of his reign, Janus had to fight constantly, sending his troops from one location straight to the next, combatting the Talls and their revolts. Finally, Corellian smugglers and rebels managed to ambush his transport above Kivala, a Mid Rim world. Janus envoked ancient Sith magics, and detonated the star of the Kivala system, effectively destroying the rebels, but crippling his transport vessel. With the only coordinates he could think of, Janus made the hyperspace jump to Tattooine, where he landed to find his loyal sand people had been routed by offworlders. Janus cursed the galaxy and his fate, and hid in the desert, in his old temple below the surface, licking his wounds and biding his time, that the jawas may again rule the galaxy. The makings of his empire were overturned within the decade, and the other sentients, shamed at such a defeat, struck it from the record.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Janus"

Damn, I already have three votes for deletion. And all from British people.

Lol. In Wiki? Damn redcoats. . . they're in league with the Ewoks!! Oooteenie!

I agree. We should pwn both.

Hypocrites. I doubt any of them read it before they cited it for deletion.

Pathetic lifeforms. . . bet they can't read. . . spend all their time picking off our innocent Jawa friends. . . PWNING time!

Artoo owns everyone, it doesn't matter if you throw planets at him, he will own them all.

Damn, it's still up, my Darth Janus Wikipedia post.

Either someone has a sense of humor or Wikipedia is just that terrible.

Wikipedia's credibility = pwn3d!

Yay for that bird!

That bird represents the fight against Wikipedia source-ery here in KMC!

Viva Republic... er... m... uh...

Random pic!!!

Hre ya go... the average debate here at KMC...

Janus I did this for u

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Votes_for_deletion/Darth_Janus#.5B.5BDarth_Janus.5D.5D

Hey thanks! But if they delete it, it's not a big deal anyways.

In my opinon the only thing Wikipedia is good for is getting the general opinon of a subject.

come now janus... did you not just tell me to how threads should be this is weak

Originally posted by Darth_Janus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Janus

rofl!!

that's awesome!

Darth Janus pwns all, n00bs! zOMG! lol... It's STILL up!!

The Ewok Lord strikes!

... DUde, ewoks are the natural enemies of Jawas.

GET HIM!!!!

Jawas have guns, they win.

Artoo sides with the Jawas, therefore the Jawas win.

And I'm disappointed Janus, no mention of God Artoo in that entire entry!

Artoo is the holiest of holies. I cannot simply mention him and not mention his divine background! Artoo demands a Wikipedia article all to himself.

Artoo is so holy, his effigy deserves a cameo, at the very least. You could have Artoo rolling along past the field of dead Jawas, at the minimum. I am most disappointed that Artoo is not credited with Darth Janus' incredible success.

His... uh... his greatness is implied!

*Goes off to edit the entry*

The blasted protocol deity of the Ewoks shan't protect them! Oooteenie!

Read the discussion part of it.

Kick ass!!!

Originally posted by Hornyman
Read the discussion part of it.

Wait, wait... link me?

Originally posted by Illustrious
Wait, wait... link me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:darth_Janus

Haha, good stuff.

lmfao... that is great

Hornyman pwns.

Lmao!