Grey Times (a tt fan fic)

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jpupbob

jpupbob
oh and sorry for muti postes but i might take a while to post another chapter. oh yea my first fan fic ever! ( this dont cound as fist post)

jpupbob
tell me when to post the next chapter cuz i got it right hear for ya.

jpupbob

jpupbob

Saratn
ok...first of all i like your story, you should post more. And if you don't mind i would like to give you a few friendly suggestions.
1.) describe things so they become clearer. you did great at sometimes and others weren't.
2.) try not to use abbreviations like BB, because they aren't in stories.
3.) make events last a little longer.
4.) one or two spelling errors but nothing to complain about
other than that i thought the story was great. especially how you made Starfire act. it reminded me of her.

jpupbob
ty so much ive been dieing for freedback!!! about the suggestions: will do. um what do you think about the charectars? big grin thank you again
o and what do you mean by clearer? if you mean getting answers that will haveto wait.

jpupbob
i have a picture of a dragon i found of the internet that has the kind of mane i mean so here. o and *takes big gulp of air* i might be able to get a picture of the dragon for i drew it and it most likly will be done through a digadle camra so dont expect the best. wait i didnnt get my dragon of this one but the wings are alot alike (i only have a pic with the wings folded so look at this dragons wings).

Saratn
ok...what i meant clearer i meant what was going on...but it is awesome all the same. it wasn't that big of a deal. the character's seem realistic to me...especially Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire.
you can draw??? i cannot...i am the worst drawer in the world.

jpupbob
i can draw but that dragon wasnt mine. like i said before i might be able to get a picture of a dragon a drew that is the girl from this fan fic when shes a dragon. drawing is fun its like a game you can do anything you want and it will still be art. and trust me you dont suck. wink o and before i forget... thanks for the complament on Starfire. well i gtg now bye big grin V
lol heres somtin funny: cool smile rolling on floor laughing laughing out loud laughing eek! laughing
Happy Dance

jpupbob

jpupbob
will someone else post feedback? not that i dont enjoy talking to you saratin but nobody has said stuff like need more answeres!!!! and if you dont post more then ill haveto light the torches. thanks for the feedback saratin... post more everyone! be nice to me like saratin

jpupbob
one more thing. i got school so i wont have as much time to write. i love this song!

Saratn
my story only one person posted, and it was my best friend here, and no one else posted after that. i just keep on writting anyway.

KingDubya
It's pretty good, though there are some changes that could be made. It could be a little longer and more detail could be used (just a smidge for both, though). If you need any serious help, try sending me a copy of the chapter (email to [email protected]) and I'll go through it and send you back a revised version of it. I watch the show a lot and I have to say, the characters are very similar to how you portray them in your story.

jpupbob
thanks guys. well kingdubya i will send you the next chapter when i finish. sorry but recently ive been doing these quizes on quizilla.com so im going to go work on the next chapter... i wonder... nvm so ill ttyl thank bye.

jpupbob
also the part at the end of chp. 4 with the claw and everything scratch that i got more in the next chp. about that so just forget it. it leads farther into the mist...ooo spooky O_o mabey i should say it goes deeper into the story...

jpupbob
dont say this is odd because im a girl but Daniel Radcliffe is so hot in the forth movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drools at picture of him* Daniel Radcliffe is the guy who plays harry potter in the movies.

Saratn
don't think you're weird. why would we think that?

jpupbob
because i am. its true. eldest!!!!! sorry i couldnt help myself. but i finally got eldest!!! (yey!!!) *does little happy dance* i cant post as often cuz i got school now so dont expect one daily k? i also haveto read 30 min each day. (its not hard its just i wont be able to get on as much.) ttyl mabey ill get one up soon.

jpupbob
oh man i just beat halo 2! im already done with eldest

Saratn
i don't have it yet sad

scarecrow088
plz post more =]

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