Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Well this was officially my first day of college.I thought I was ready and wanted to go away but believe me thinking and imagining how much you will enjoy college is different from reality when you actually get there on your first day especially when you have Social Anxiety/Phobia such as myself.I feel so alone.I even cried a little bit when my family finally left.I was so afraid that they would see me but I kept my composure.Even during the end of some of the phone calls that I have gotten during the day from them have had me fighting back the breaking up of my voice.My mother and grandmother are so worried about me and miss me they are taking it the hardest.Mygrandma has even been losing sleep throughout the summer at the fact that I will be going away to college.I cant imagine how shes handling it tonight.Even as I am writing this my eyes are getting a little hot and moist but no tears.I do have one friend from highschool right down the hall and he came to my room a couple times and made sure I knew his room number too so that I could come over but I didnt.I couldnt bring myself to do it because of my social anxiety. Even though I know him very well I still couldnt do it and the fact that he has a roommate that I know nothing about doesnt help.And by the time that I finally brought myself to go over there I got a couple steps away from his door andthought maybe I waited to late since it is 8 something pm maybe they dont want visitors this time of night.I know I sound foolish and in the back of my mind I know I was just making excuses not to go over.I could be so much better off but I cut my self off from people because of my phobia and prevent myself from having friends and meeting new people that could be my friends.2 events were held tonight to get out and meet new people and I didnt go to one.Icouldnt.Just the thought of going out among all these people by myself is terrifying and I am not going to bring myself so low as to go and ask my highschool friend to go with me or to see if he is going so that I can go with him.Its just not metoappear so desperate I am a loner and I never give in to that kind of stuff and everybody who knew me inhighschool knows Im not the kind of person to do that.I didnt even goto my prom because the form that it was taken place was not a way that I was going.I was offered someone to go with since they couldntfind anyone else to go withI said he!! to the naw.

Of course I know what you're thinking.
What about your roommate? Yall have to have some kind of friendship right?

Well no, not really. I met him and spoke to him twice today but he's been out of the room the whole day.

So we have no kind of connection. It's 10:38 pm and he's still not back
I feel like I signed up for a single room dormitory.

Well nothing else left to report, and what do you expect when you have been sitting up in your dorm all day long.............

T still have 2 more years of high school but i did live in UW for 3 weeks and i was grate, lots of partiesholidaypile

You'll like it

I am glad someone thinks I will end up liking college, cause it doesn't seem that way.

at 1st it's weird but then you get really into itholiday

College is...weird. Over here we have university, but you dont live there...you just go for your lessons and thats it
I can walk from home to my uni and back, its just 20mins away...

But anyway, at first it is pretty crap unless youve already got friends there, which I dont, and thats why it sucks for me....but since Im only there for lessons, I dont really give a f*ck about other people..

i ll be sad when i leave everyone

Coincidentally, Im listening to Blink 182 - Going away to college

Originally posted by bardock
i ll be sad when i leave everyone

me too, I really close to my friends but if i get in UW...I'm set beacause i already have friends there

yay powerfulone1987, congrat, trust me, its gonna be great

The ebst thing about college is changing majors and leaving all idiots behind and having a 2nd fresh start.

Originally posted by Sir Mist
Coincidentally, Im listening to Blink 182 - Going away to college Why?

Well when classes start i'll have to leave my dorm and meet more people so that will be good and I also left my dorm today to go hang out with my friend and I met his room mate and since they like to leave their dorm room door open, unlike me, other people would stop by just to say hi and meet us. People here are more friendly and willing to put forth the effort to make friends including meeting me, so I am feeling a little better about that. It makes me feel if they can just put their guard down and just walk up in the room without knowing anybody just to meet you then I can do it too and maybe I can go to their room and put forth an effort on my part and further the friendship, especially when one of the people who came and talked to me lives right across the hall from me, I was about to do it too, but just as I came up to his door he was leaving but we spoke briefly and that was all so i will try again later when he is in his dorm.

1. why didnt you live at home
2. is the sex good in college( I go there in soon)

Well I always had planned on living in a dorm, I wanted too, plus it like and hour and half away from my home and that would be a long ride and I would have to go back and forth so many times and with gas being like it is, even if i wanted to live at home that would be out of the question. But like I said I wanted to live in a dorm anyway and even with all the negative things that I have said I still know that in the long run it will benefit me and make me more independent, afterall people do say that I am very spoiled and I need this time for me.

And like I said in the sex thread, I am a virgin so I wouldn't know, but who knows, maybe all of that will change.

Originally posted by SlipknoT
Why?

I likes it

Me too ^

Originally posted by powerfulone1987
Well I always had planned on living in a dorm, I wanted too, plus it like and hour and half away from my home and that would be a long ride and I would have to go back and forth so many times and with gas being like it is, even if i wanted to live at home that would be out of the question. But like I said I wanted to live in a dorm anyway and even with all the negative things that I have said I still know that in the long run it will benefit me and make me more independent, afterall people do say that I am very spoiled and I need this time for me.

And like I said in the sex thread, I am a virgin so I wouldn't know, but who knows, maybe all of that will change. You're In College and a Virgin?

that's what i said, this is only me second day here.

Well yesterday I left my dorm building and went out into the city and guess what I got lost just like I knew I would.
And since I live on a different campus from everything happens I had to take a bus to the other campus to get to where I was going and there are different types of busses by the way.
So there I was walking trying to retrace my steps when suddenly I just gave up. So I see a bus but I don't know if it's the right one so I just stay where I am at for a while contemplating what to do when I decide to walk over to the bus and hope I'm doing the right thing.
I get over to where to bus is and the lights are blinking and the driver is no where to be seen and people are standing out side of the bus , I guessed waiting for the driver to return. So I wait and you need a card to get on from your college and I see other students with cards so I know this is a college campus bus, I just don't know which one it is, cause there a more than one to take you to different places throughout the city. So I take another guess and hop on the bus when the driver returns.
I don't know where I am going and where to go and I don't recognize my surroundings, so I don't know where to get off at or where to pull the string to tell him where to let me off. So I hope that another student from my dorm building is on the bus and going back too and they'll pull the string.
The only problem is I don't know which ones are going to the building if any at all. So I start pinpointing people who I think could possibly be going back to the dorm. So after many requested stops by passengers when get to one and I am just sitting there but I notice that many of the younger people who I am guessing are students like myself are getting off of the bus, and after all they did have the same card as I did, I just didn't know if they were going somewhere else or to the dorm building so at the last minute on an impulse I get off of the bus at the last minute in a hurry and have no idea where I am at so I follow the others and wouldnt you know it just around the corner is my building so by taking my guesses and trusting my instincts I made it and am to nervous to leave and go through that again and I also didn't get on the bus that took me over there,it was another bus and that's why I didnt recognize it

im about to go out again, ill let yall know if i make it back.

One of the best and sometimes worst things about college is dorm life. Making new friends and feeling independent for the first time can make moving to college seem like a huge step.
I know from experience that dorm life can be anything but a positive experience. The adjustment from moving from a comfortable home with many rooms to a dorm room is huge.

Being homesick is one of the worst feelings there is. It' s a natural reaction for anyone leaving the familiar people and places they love. Let someone know how you' re feeling. There will be resident assistants in your dorm. If you share what' s going on inside you, you might just find someone else feeling the same way. Give yourself a chance to adjust.

Don' t be surprised by loneliness. It can seem like everyone else has found a new group of friends to hang around with, leaving you feeling left out and alone.
Do your best to keep a positive perspective on the situation. When you' re on a campus full of new people, overcoming even the smallest amount of shyness and making new friends can seem incredibly overwhelming. But you don' t have to meet all those people tomorrow. Set small goals for yourself, like getting to know one of your dormmates a little better. You' re going to be at college for a few years. You' ve got plenty of time for friendships to grow slowly and naturally.

Between homesickness and finding new friends, starting college is full of challenges. But with a little confidence and a little courage, you' re going to have the time of your life! College is an experience of a lifetime and isn' t something you should miss out on.

Hang on!

Yea Storm said it very well.

Well powerful I know how horribly lonely it can be to be away at college. I live 5 miles from my university, I know the city like my back pocket since I've been going to school there for 6 years before I went to the university. But when a mate asked me wether or not I wanted to go live with him in an appartment (still something else, but in a way quite similar) I said yes. I thought this is going to be great. However then my mate got a girlfriend who came to live with us. Whom I didn't like very much (more my fault than hers -tho a lot of my mates dislike her aswell-) So in fact I never saw the guy for more then 5 minutes a day, and I had this annoying stranger running through the house.

So at times I felt very lonely, I never was so glad the internet and cellphones existed. I hung in there for a while. But when my mom asked me if I wanted to trade places with someone else it was one of the best days of my life.

I agree with Storm if you have to go away, which you have to, it's best to hang on in there. Things will get better.

what do you mean trade places with someone else?

Well today I went out on my own into the city and campus for the first time and I found out a good amount of where certain places are and how to get to them and I found the vacinity of where my classes will be since i have my first classes tomorrow I had to do that.

Now after my classes tomorrow I have to find my way to the book store and that's going to be a long walk...........

Hope I can find my way there and back.
Today as I was venturing around I think I did pretty good and found my way back good.

I am going to get up early tomorrow and try and find my classes that I have to go to more precisely so that I won't be late.

I also finally went to the dining facility and ate out there instead of up in my room by myself like i do everyday.

Since I have social anxiety/phobia I didnt want to have to go and do that especially if it meant eating by myself. That's one of my worst fears.

Everytime I advanced a new year in school and had to find a new table of people to eat with each year I dreaded the first day of school. I got all depressed a few days before and did not stop until i was sitting with a group of people at a table. The sound of the bell ringing to go to lunch the first day back to school was the worst sound and feeling I experienced during my life in school.
It probably had much to do with my 6th grade year which I call my second worst year in school when I never had a guaranteed spot with these people I sat with at lunch because all of a sudden nobody at the table wanted me there and they would pick with me and talk bad to me and tell me to move but I wouldn't and sometimes the whole table would get up and move or block all the spots so i couldnt sit down.

The funny thing is that I was friends with some of them individually but when they got around the others it was a different story and I was so confused and depressed that year dreading that time of day everyday when the bell rang to go to lunch.

I had band class right before too so that didn't help having to blow out all those notes with butterflies in my stomach and feeling very very deeply depressed during that period cause lunch was next.

And one of those people that didn't want me at the table was in that class and we were the two top trumpets and very close friends but it all changed for some reason when she got around the others and she wasn't the only one so that year was very stressful and depressing.

I was so miserable. And to this day I am very very close friends with most of the people from that table and many of the people from that table were people I sat with during my 12th and last year of school so it kind of went full circle.

One of the people moved away like a year after 6th grade though and while i was on this band trip with hanging with most of the people from that lunch table (ironic huh) we ran into the other person who had moved away and while they were talking to each other i just went on with my business but for some reason he went out of his way to shout across the room to greet me and say hello. I was shocked. It was like nothing ever happened, just like with the others.

In the end it was that particular peson who I said was a top trumpet player with me, we ended up being the closest of friends and many people said we should have gone out cause we made a good couple (she's a girl by the way). And we almost ended up going to the prom together. Sometimes I would even joke with her about how she used to treat me, I can't really remember how that conversation went.Reminising(hope that's how you spell it)about my old friends really makes me miss them and even high school(never thought i'd say that)depressing

Well man it's good you 're starting to find your way around Campus

What I ment with Trading places is: my mom has a friend whose son needed a place to stay, so she asked me if I wanted to move back home and could arrange it with my friend to let that guy stay there.

Oh, okay.
Why didn't you just move back home on your own without having to switch spots.


Well I found my classes yesterday and was late like 1 to 4 mins for the first one and like 5 mins to the second one. The second one was murder to find oh my god. The labeling of the buildings was all wrong I went in the correct building and left like 3 times.

Well I went to the dining facility on the intention of eating alone and along came these two girls and they asked to sit with me and after that we hung out for the day, so I made some new friends by conquering my anxiety for a while.

The only thing bad about it was the lunch. The food i picked out was bad, i wanted pizza but it wasn't out. But obviously it came out as soon as i went by cause when one of the girls sat down she had pizza.

One of them also wanted me to go to a party with them but I had to say no. I am not going to get that ahead of myself.
She's very outgoing though and likes to have things to do. She even had me playing raquet ball today,lol.

Well i'll be off to find some more of my classes next week for the first time. Hopefully I won't be late for those. For one of the classes I had Friday,the teacher was talking about study groups and all that working together stuff. I hate that. Hopefully she at least chooses the groups herself.
I remember when I was in school I had my mom write a note to the teacher asking her if she could assign partners instead of saying "okay everybody find a partner", cause I sucked at that and it was very nerve wrecking, especially in P.E.. I would get nervous and a sick feeling whenever i heard those evil words.
Don't get me started on picking teams with a group of people............

Now this girl that i met yesterday wants me to get out more and wants to me to go places with her and now she wants me to go to a club with her tomorrow, which i really don't want to, i am not a social person, i have social anxiety/phobia for petes sake.

I said yes though, I am stressing out.

I got briefly lost today in a ridiculous way today but don't feel like explaining but I felt completely dumb.

If I was a girl I would be a blonde for sure.No offense.

But so far I have been late to each one of my classes for the first time and tomorrow is my last new class that i haven't been to yet so i am trying to at least get one down for the first time and it starts at 7pm so shame on me if i don't find the class on time.It ends at 9:45pm that's late.

By the way, my college is not your typical college campus. My college doesn't really have one. It's just buildings in a city, so you literally walk the streets to get to your class. They don't even want you to walk alone at night cause it's dangerous but i will be walking alone cause i don't need nobody else or no cop.

So it's easy to lose your place if you don't know where you're at in this city.

My college pretty much takes up the city and makes up the city. The city is pretty wore down and kind of looks ghetto.
Homeless people everywhere.
One asked us if we had a penny and wanted to hop on the back of his bus, which was a ragged old bike he was riding.

I love my university. It's awesome. Right now, I'm only going for four hours twice a week. \m/

Do you live on campus.

You must not be getting a lot of credits huh?

Originally posted by powerfulone1987
Do you live on campus.

You must not be getting a lot of credits huh?

It's an advanced speed program. I actually get my bachelor's in three years contrary to the four it takes most.

Most of my work takes place online though.

And no, I don't live on campus.

WEll that's sound like a good thing.

What are you going for?

The amount of school work that i am getting is insane.

I went home over the holiday weekend. I was really looking forward to it. I can't wait until I go home this weekend.
I am going home every weekend.

I always said I wouldn't cause they said it wasn't good and that you chances of dropping out of college increased.

But I can't help it. I need to do it.

I can't handle all of this change so quick. I still miss this the days when I was young and got excited easier and I saw the world differently.
Christmas was magical.
I believed in all the things kids do.
And I got excited more easier.
Like at christmas when me and my sister got the Pokemon games, pokemon red and blue, for our gameboys and went through the whole game together and got the badges.
And my cousin would come down and he had the game too and we would do it together all three of us and battle each other and then later got the pokemon card game for it and played that and got pokemon silver and gold when that came out. And when i got other things for christmas.
I do wish I could go back to those days and see the world the way I used to see it and get excited and play the pokemon games with my sister and cousin and other games. Super Smash Brothers Melee and others.
But those days are never coming back.
And that's depressing.
The next best thing is the have kids of my own and experience this all over again through them.
I hate life right now very much, moe than usual.

I'm driving next semester. finally, no more weekends stranded at my dorm.