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Yeah.. I got a feeling how this one is going to slant, but it might be fun to hear the responses...

In this corner, standing at 6'2, 210 pounds of surly fury for everyone's favorite webcrawler, in the shoddy buzzcut and Hilter-stache...
Jonah Jameson!

And in this corner, standing at 5'8, and 175 pounds of journalistic hate for the idiocy of society, wearing... PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!... wearing the black pants and jacket, and sporting more tattoos than a biker gang...
Spider Jerusalem!

DING!

Sider will kick JJJ in the groin and then smash his face into the corner post.

JJ's 210? Damn!

Superman is a writer too.

Jonah puts his cigar out in Spider's eye, buys some land contracts and then bulldozes his house.