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Animal rights, and Seasons were okay poems, the love poems were kind of cliche though, spread them around so it doesn't seem like you've tired the subject in one foul swoop.

Originally posted by intoxicatedpoet
Animal rights, and Seasons were okay poems, the love poems were kind of cliche though, spread them around so it doesn't seem like you've tired the subject in one foul swoop.
I have to agree hun yes

Thanks for the input. I'll do so and here's another one:

Porslyn

You dropped me like a stone,
but like porslynd I broke,

You bluntly told me,
it's over, and I could say nothing.

I see now that,
I meant nothing, but You meant,
everything.

But now it's over,
and I'm left with
the broken
pieces.

And for that,
I'll hate you.

and:

Happiness

It's the first time in,
many a year that I feel,
sane, happy from inside,
to the other reaces.

I've emptyed the dark,
corners of my mind,
I'm renewed.

And only this feeling,
can last.

Your work has raw potential, but it's difficult to grasp the real concepts as you tend to spell quite irregularly... I suggest you check all of your spellings before submitting your work and then we can give a fairer judgement on your poems.

I liked, personally, 'Animal Rights' and 'Writing'... you show real promise

Thank you. It's wonderful when others see something in you.

And any advice you could give besides my horrible spelling please do

Originally posted by aristotle
Thank you. It's wonderful when others see something in you.

And any advice you could give besides my horrible spelling please do
Well I agree with Syren about the spelling... and other than that, well you'll get better as you keep on writing

Hmm, gonna drop some new stuff on us? Please?

By tomorrow evening

Originally posted by aristotle
By tomorrow evening
awesome

Forgiven

You've been forgiven,
before you said sorry,

You'll never have to say it,
again.

For you must know by now,
that I'll always hold you close,
and never shall I hold anything,
against you.

Ever

Have you ever,
felt that feeling.

That feeling that hurts,
deep inside the heart,
the feeling that deprives,
you of all comfort.

Have you ever,
felt lost, broken
and forgotten.

Well I hope you never had,
and never will.

But if you do,
I pray that you survive,
and that you'll be touched,
by an angel soon after..

God

God you've shown me,
so many things.

But as I grasp these,
images of happiness,
you deprive me.

Why do You show me these pictures,
if you won't let me touch the stars.

Your cruel towards me,
but yet I must pray,
yet I must believe,

Oh God don't let me,
die empty.

Let this poem be my
prayer.

I liked Ever the most out of all of these Sadly I know that feeling...

Well then I hope an angel will touch your heart. But I must say that feeling almost destroyed me completely

Originally posted by aristotle
Well then I hope an angel will touch your heart. But I must say that feeling almost destroyed me completely
Thanks hun hug

Almost destroyed me too

God

He's supposed to be everywhere,
but he's nowhere,
he left me falling into darkness,
running and laughing.
Me the fool.

He's like my father,
showing me and telling me story's
giving me dreams ideals,
beautiful dreams oh,
but so lost-you b@stards,
you both father figures.

Yet your both dead to me

-----------

Look into my eye's,
what do you see?
Nothing I know it's because,
my soul as evaporated.

My eyes dull,
my heart stone cold,
my words blunt.

I have chosen to evade you,
for I hate all that you stand for,
what you promised,
what you never gave me.

Your nothing more than a fable,
your nothing but a fairy-tale,
love your not present your,
GONE

Isn't it strange what live gives you when your walking. I always say "Lifes like a walk. And sometimes life pushes you over and just maybe just maybe he'll help you up"

Help comes in time of need,
it's not always what you want,
but it's always what you need.

Don't second doubt, do!
Ask and you'll receive,
demand and you'll get.

Love and you'll be loved hate, and you'll be hated.
Rather receive than take.

Wait and you will be left behind,
rush and you'll get lost,
you must live with all consequences,
when you made a decision.

I love you!

past danger is a thrill,
past here is there,
between today and tomorrow is choices.

Your my choice,
Us above doubt,
now above the future.

A mistake could be made,
but like mountains it could be conquered.

I would rather say I tried,
than say I missed out.

hey


i just wanted to say something


its seems to me like many poems are in free verse


so she can spell it how she feels


just wanted to say that


i love them

You need to post some more poetry hun! I miss talking to ya too hug

Love Without Breaking

You seem to be...
You seem to want...
I don't know, but it's not s.

You couldn't give without taking,
You couldn't love without breaking,
You take me there and leave me here.

Here we are...
There you were...
Your lost aren't you?

Nowhere to be found,
So bolted down on what could go wrong,
Why don't you think about what could go right?

Your lost between here and there,
The being and the becoming.

You say you love me,
You say you miss me.

But it's dark you say,
And I'll always answer:
In the beginning it was always dark.

Dream

Hold on,
Hold on to the dream we are.

Soon you'll see,
So it goes another lonley day:
Son't go kid yourself today,
Satisfactin isn't far away.

Soon we'll be together and all that was will end,
And the dream will begin,
The dream I see so vividly.

For now Ill hold on to what you are,
Who you'll always remain.

An angel!

Hope you enjoy them

I did! I miss talkin to ya hun hug How ya been??

Fine and with you. What you been doing?

omg wow I didn't realize you had posted on here doh

I'm fine thank you, and how are you? It's been ages since I talked to ya sheesh lol

AMONGST POETS

When the tides
Of life
Fade to an unearthly
Black and white

I find myself
Peacefully content
With a tree
And a pen

When clouds
And wind
Move my feelings
Keened

I'm charmed
To isolate
My thoughts
From those of mortal beings

When life
Intertwines
It's hardships
Still

Happy days
With Frost
I'll fill

Finally when
The reaper arrives
To steal
My zest

Amongst immortals
I'll
Find
My rest

ooooo nice

Silent sounds of death,
intrude with in my hollow mind,
to consume and destroy,
All I say to be dear.

Cold calls to damnation,
Grey sky's and cold tears,
autumn to winter.

Summer lost to the winter of my life.

clapping Very good!

Relieve

Relieve me of my innocence,
I know not what I do,
I know not who I am.

This night will never end,
Relieve me of my innocence.

I pray to God,
I only ask to be forgiven,
Why have You forsaken me?

I run this street of misery,
Cry to hope,
Listening to help.

I do all that I do,
For no one but you.

So why do I seem to need,
Need to hear you say,
That you love me also.

Fire

Rain dance to the gods,
Let it rain fire,
On you and all they are.

The sun will rise,
And blind us all,
There lies a sweet aroma,
To never be un-heard.

At some evident time,
I will speak,
At some future destination,
They'll have to stop.

You say you see right through me,
Don't you?
I have always been by your side,
Haven't you seen?

Don't you shiver as I?
When your name is whispered?
I see now, don't you?
It's never meant to be

You just try to stop me,
I'm leaving, on the leaves of autumn,
To the winter of my heart.

Where mortals do cry,
And gods try to remember,
Why it is that we ask for fire,
And why we dance in to the morning.

Please post your thoughts plz

Lost in silent vicinity of love,
I conjure a spell.

In a hopeful dream I stare
and hopeful it would work.

In breathless motion,
I wait for the answer,
but it never came.

Spells are for Harry Potter books,
and dreams left in your mind

nice stuff