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The year is 2016. In 2007 Raz was assinated and PVS was established president, by the end of 2 years theocracy and give himself the power that he had always desired. His newest mission after becoming world ruler, was to deny the exsistance of God. Because he wanted to be God.. This is KMC's story..
http://www.cnn.com/EVENTS/1997/star.wars.anniversary/where.are.they/yoda.lg.jpg
What are thou doing being lazy Raven Gaurdia? Does thou have a death wish? There is no God after me.. Do not test thy patience..
http://www.thefourthrail.com/images/features/0902/previewsharleyquinn.jpg
Sorry sir, I can't seem to find SpellJammer, he's probably found a way to block our computer systems. I can't understand it, it defies all human logic..
PVS: Nothing defies human logic, you are just ignorant.. What SpellJammer does is just ILLEGAL ACTIVITY. He tries to convince you of there being occult works protecting him and impeding on my domain, but he is nothing but lies and deceit. He will fall, and he will pay for his blasphemy. Learn to not be so ignorant Raven..
Raven Gaurdia: No need to preach to me sir, I'm your most trusted scientist.
PVS: Are you questioning the word of your Lord? *PVS pulls out his lightsaber from the side*
Raven Gaurdia: Uhh.. no sir.. *PVS puts it away*
PVS: I thought so.. Get back to work.. *PVS walks away*
Raven Gaurdia: What a tightass..
Meanwhile..
Alpha Centauri: The fairy, a sacred creature. Pure, Holy, the glory of God.. *Alpha Centauri hymms the sound to call forth a fairy, not much longer after, a glowing sphere with butterfly wings floats over him. He watches it float around him, glares at it coldly, and grasps it tightly crushing it in his arms*
Alpha Centauri: Glory that will be mine, and mine alone! Not even PVS will be able to stand against me soon if I keep this up! *The fairy's energy mingles with his own, given him a wild talent like never before*
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/xph_gallery/80449.jpg
YES! I CAN FEEL THE POWER SURGING THROUGH ME!
Alpha Centauri: *Looks at his fist* So I can create swords out of pure energy eh? I was expecting something a little more.. flashy.. ohwell, I suppose more sacrifices must be made.. the good thing is, I now have stealth and a weapon always "on hand" *snort!* *AC looks at the sun and thinks*
Alpha Centaui: Look at it, it reminds me of you PVS. Strong, unbareable to stand against directly, but time is enemy to everyone, eventualy you'll let your gaurd down, night will fall, and then, then I will make my move.. I--OH SHIT! I LOOKED AT THE SUN DIRECTLY! *AC cries as his eyes burn and he sees only colours*
Alpha Centauri: Damn you PVS! You shall pay for this! >_<;
Elsewhere..
*Knocknockknock*
http://www.toei-anim.co.jp/tv/bo-bobo/image/chara01.gif
What do YOU want?
Raven Gaurdia: Excuse me, are you THE SpellJammer?
Deano: Who wants to know?!
Raven Gaurdia: I work for the ACLU but--*Deano doesn't hesitate to punch Raven Gaurdia in the face causing her to knock into a nearby tree and walks over to finish what he started*
Deano: So you finnaly found us hunh?! I'm going to enjoy letting you see God personaly! *Deano pulls her by her jester hat when you hear a loud mechanichal voice command Deano to stop*
http://www.absoluteanime.com/fullmetal_alchemist/_al.jpg
Stop Deano, that's Raven Gaurdia. She WAS a friend to the rebellion, I don't know what happend.. I don't want to know.. I heard her meation ACLU.. and..
Raven Gaurdia: KidRock is that you?
KidRock: Yes, during the great war my body was ravaged by "pacisitst" and "anti-war activists". I didn't want to leave this world, I owed it to myself and to others to make sure those damn Anti-American bastards didn't win. Luckiely SpellJammer being the master of witchcraft that he is, built me a golem body and harnessed my soul into it..
Raven Gaurdia: Do you.. "feel"?
KidRock: I havn't gotten an erection yet, and let's face it, you're pretty hot. So what do YOU think?
Deano: I bet she's a sex-bot created by the liberals to lead us down a path of debautchery and sin!
KidRock: Maybe..
http://www.zeldauniverse.net/images/stories/games/z1/enemies/17b-wizzrobe.png
Guys shutup! All of you! Raven Gaurdia, what brings you here, and where did you runoff too all those years ago? *RG dusts herself off*
Raven Gaurdia: Well you typical MAN, while I developed a plan to make PVS think I had given up the ways of conservatism. I earned his trust and now work for him, but am secrelt helping the alliance. I have found out a ton of information. Like how he's looking for materia and.. *SJ puts his hands up and says STOP!*
SpellJammer: What'd you say?
Raven Gaurdia: He's looking for matera and--"Oh God no.."
Raven Gaurdia: What?
SpellJammer: Don't you know what mateira IS?
Raven Gaurdia: Not really, information like that go's above my rank..
SpellJammer: *Sigh!* Materia is this sortof drug substance, it increases the psi-abilities of a person ten fold. The aicent indians were very restrictive but used them in rituals and rituals alone.. Materia can make one very powerful but is TREMENDOUSLY unstable.. I have worked all my life to avoid having to ever rely on matiera again. I payed for my last use of it. That's why I created Deano, a stem-cell clone of myself to give him my magnifecant brain without the flaws of my personality and physichal disabilities, as you can see, that didn't plan out.
Deano: Damn liberals. *Picks his nose*
SpellJammer: The denser the neutrons, the harder it is for magick to pull through, this is why I never botherd teaching KidRock the craft, and this is why I've avoided being as free with the occult as I use to be.. *SpellJammer rips the sleeve of his right arm to reveal a metal arm*
SpellJammer: THAT is what materia can do to someone. And I was lucky, there have been some people's who's very souls were lost because of the dangers of matera. PVS is so dead set on porving we don't need to rely on the gods for power that he's willing to sell himself short and put us all in danger.. If he gets ahold of enough matiera, we could all soon be nothigness..
Raven Gaurdia: So what do you propose we do? Search for the materia before he can get ahold of them?
SpellJammer: No way, I'm not touching that stuff. Not now, not ever. What we need to do, is find The Necromonicom. I've been using divination to try and pin-point where it would be located. *KidRock and Deano groan*
KidRock: You still believe in that old myth?!
Deano: Even if it was real, the Necromonicom would summon the most malevolent spirits unimmaginable! You can't be serious in relying on those entities to help us!
SpellJammer: Think about it for a second! If PVS gets ahold of even a little matera his psychokinesis will be extradionary! Can we REALLY afford to be picky about allies at this point? Forbidden demons, or liberals.. make your pick..
KidRock: ...Is this a trick question?
Raven Gaurdia: This go's against everything I was taught as a little girl..
SpellJammer: Then stay behind. You won't be missed.. *SpellJammer snaps his fingers* Come on you two, we have a book of dead laws to go find. *They get into thier big bad carivan with a confeterate flag sported over the top, and blast some Rob Zombie and drive off. Raven Gaurdia is left in ths dust*
Raven gaurdia: SpellJammer, what happend to you? You were never this cold to a girl before.. It go's against your code..

Whilest this is going on.. some gaurdsmen have found Clovie..
http://ahc.uwyo.edu/images/edu_outreach/historyday/jpgs/2003contest/2003contest05-a.jpg
Come with us quitely Clovie and we promise we won't hurt you. PVS has always had a soft spot for you. Well, a soft spot that TURNS hard.. don't miss this oppurtunity..
http://www.zeldauniverse.net/images/stories/games/z5/characters/malon.gif
Oh sure thing, I'm far too weak to take on all four of you. But don't you ever grow tired of never getting any yourself? Go on soldiers, have a peice.. *The soldiers come closer with the intent to cop a feel, and Clovie pulls out a shortsword from behind and stabs one of them in the stomache causing her to puke blood. She then kicks her in the face swirving her away ten feet, jump kicks the other two in the face by crossing her legs and lands on the other soldier's face smothering her between her legs causing suffocation*
Clovie: Was it good for you too *****?! Do I make you hot?! *Clovie throws the sword from behind catching the soldier in the eye, as she screeches Clovie trips her with her legs then while the girl is on her knees begging for her life Clovie snaps her neck then looks straight at the remaining soldier with a smirk and blood on the face*
Soldier: What the hell?! How did you turn into such a crazed lunatic!?
Clovie: Let's just say.. I'm not the person you thought I was.. *Clovie's body begins to shapeshift back into it's original form*
http://www.mellody.co.za/michaela/palpatine/gallery/emperor10.jpg
*CoughCakcle* Oh how I'm going to LOVE pulling that off on PVS one of these days..
Soldier: Spell--SPELLJAMMER! 0_0 *In a dark leering blur he runs towards her and grabs her neck*
Big Evil: Please little lady, call me Big Evil.. *Big Evil bites her neck in a dire vein that causes her to bleed the death as she dies faster from wasting energy on screaming*
Big Evil looks around, dead bodies everywhere, walks over them and opens a door in the house where Clovie is hand tied and gagged with tears running down her eyes.
Big Evil: Recritments will be here shortly. You'll go down in history as the one man army who somehow fealt it nesscarey to give herself up. Who knows, those conservatives are crazy ya know.. Congratualtions baby, you're a star.. *Big Evil runs away cackeling and Clovie can only quiver in fear and she hears more guards approaching her house and lights from thier cars filling the area with blinking tyranny*
Meanwhile..
Deano: Are we there yet?
SpellJammer: No. - _ -
Deano: How bout' now?
SpellJammer: No. - _ -
KidRock: I HAVE TO GO POTTY!
SpellJammer: I'm not even going to ask about that one..

We now bring you back to Alpha Centauri, who's doing a strange Vodo meditation to acheive more power. His eyes roll in the back of his head has he makes deep, devil moans. He wakes up to see himself in a place of light and beauty.
http://www.psykids.net/KidsSpeak/SpiritSpeaks/LlaelSpeaks/Angels/AngelTypes/angel.JPG
Welcome! Don't be so tense stranger, there's noone here to hurt you anymore..
Alpha Centauri: Sweet! It's like I'm at an abortion clinic, and I'm the only competant doctor! *Alpha Centauri conjures up an energy blade and you could swear Ozzy Osbourne's "Gets me through" as he slaughters through the thousands of messenager angels, he grabs thier wings as they try to fly away and slits thier throats. He jumps and wails at them as even angel's can be proven to bleed.*
Alpha Centauri: DON'T RUN! DON'T RUN! YOU'RE ALL SINNERS BEFORE GOD AREN'T YOU?! WHERE IS HE?! WHERE'S YOUR GREAT, ALL POWERFUL MESSIAH HUNH?! HAHAHAHAH! *The deed is done, and the energetic rededue fills the air and his lungs*
Alpha Centauri: Yes, all this power.. it's intoxating! What a fool I was to not have thought of this before I--
http://www.zeldauniverse.net/images/stories/games/z5/characters/darunia.gif
Leave..
Alpha Centauri: What the hell?
WindDancer: Leave now, or I will show you no mercy..
Alpha Centauri: Well that's awfuly hypocritical of you now don't you think Mr. Holyman? I mean, if you were so ceartain in your God I think--*before he can finish WindDancer delivers a punch to the face that breaks his nose*
Alpha Centauri: I see, well.. far be it for me to step down from a fight.. especialy with some primitive bafoon who actually believes the crap he spews..
WindDancer: You will not win.. Even if you kill me.. God's law will not be denied.. you have dug your own grave..
Alpha Centauri: Save the preaching for the afterlife, OH WAIT! AHAHAHA! *AC leaps at WindDancer and WindDancer ducks then delivers a kick to his groin, but AC is psychotic and hardly notices the pain as his teeth grit from an unholy grin and his mindblade peirces the neck of WindDancer causing his massive body to fall over with a loud thump! AC then leaps down and whipes the blood off his mouth*
Alpha Centauri: Pshh, "heaven". Here we're suppose to believe it's a paradise and all I see is a bunch of ugly little brats who nobody would adopt, and a large naked man. I think it all make's sense now.. Those preists were just following the code right? *AC laughs to himself* I kill me.. *Ac wakes up from his meditation*
Alpha Centauri: Was that--all just a dream? Damn, I can't afford to be sleeping in like that. I have to train hard and non-stop. Enemies sorround me I.. *AC notices blood over his mouth, and feels his face that there is a broken nose, his shock then turns into a large, evil grin*
Alpha Centauri: God is a myth. *AC sees a lizard just walking over his wall, his mind blade then stretches several feet and stabs it dead*
Alpha Centauri: I'm just trying to live..
http://www.lookalikes-susanscott.co.uk/images%2002_04/Ozzy%20Osbourne%20-%20Dean%20Holt.jpg
What the **** is this bloke doing getting me involved in his little ****ing political satire ****?! I'm the ****ing prince of darkness mother ****er! You can't just ****ing put me in some stupid lame bull**** I had no ****ing clue about! Not that I have much of a clue about ****ing anything.. SHARON! I CAN'T WORK THIS ****ING KEYBOARD TO GET ON THE OFF TOPIC BOARD!

This is unique, and brilliant! please...please carry on...

Originally posted by Saratn
This is unique, and brilliant! please...please carry on...
lol, thankyou. ^_^

As they're driving, they stop to get fuel. (Which PVS has found a cheap, abudant alternative to gas that's alot safer for the enviorment.)
Deano: Don't you know that buy buying fuel we're putting money in the man's pocket?!
SpellJammer: And don't you know if we don't get gas we're not going to be able to do anything to STOP the man?! >: \
Deano: Wo dude, you just blew my mind. o_o
SpellJammer: Not one of my harder accomplishments.. *Suddenly a woman throws herself up against the window and his cd intros to Rob Zombie's Living dead girl.*
http://articles.closeup.de/large/G/G829910.JPG
SpeeellJaaammmer!
Deano: Who's THAT hot tommoly?!
SpellJammer: That's Bun-Bun.. - _ -
Deano: I thought she died..
SpellJammer: She did.. - _ -
Deano: ...You jsut blew my mind again...
Bun-Bun: Yeeesss SpellJaaamerrr! Blooow miiiine! *Bun-Bun humps the truck*
SpellJammer: Oh dear..
Deano: What's wrong with her?
SpellJammer: I attempted to bring Bun-Bun back to life with magick, as you can see, it didn't work. God has set laws that we can never get around.. I guess I have to learn this the hard way..
Bun-Bun: Yeeesss Haaarddd! *Bun-Bun gets rougher with the truck*
Deano: I'm scared Spell.
SpellJammer: Oh Jesus Deano stop your blubbering, she's just a horny zombie, what can she possibly do?! *Suddenly Big Evil rises up from the front of the truck and grins evily*
Deano: Well.. she could've formed an alliance with that wierd looking dude.. he seems pretty into um.. "primitive urges" as well..
SpellJammer: ...Oh shit... *With the combined strength of BE under magick and Bun-Bun they start rocking the truck feriociusly*
Deano: We're going to die! SpellJammer I just want you to know I love you! >_<
SpellJammer: Great, now we have to die AND be uncomfertable! *They stop rocking it as they both see KidRock leave the gasoline store*
KidRock: Hey you damn punks! Stop vandilizing my car! *KidRock runs pretty damn fast for a half-ton walking metal peice, and with some well placed kicks and punches knocks out the both of them, he then quickly puts fuel into the car and they drive off*
Deano: WHAT WAS THAT?!
SpellJammer: *Sigh!* Before I made you Deano, I attempted to rely upon myself meddeling with the space-time countiem. I have never known a woman's touch, so I figured, how much differant would it be now to have social interaction? So I captured myself from when I first started learning about the occult and dropped him into a black dimension. I don't know how much time passed exactly in that nothingness. As time has no essence there, but when I took him out his mind was sure enough expanded far more then mine ever could be, without social interaction to get in his way he had full attention to his spells, however, he never learned how to be human.. I should've known better..
Deano: ...You blew my mind AGAIN..
SpellJammer: I swear to God, if you say blow one more time..

RavenGuardia is walking on the beach alone. The wind blows in her face and she can only be left wondering..
RavenGuardia: Why did SpellJammer leave me? Perhaps he fealt I'd be indanger and was looking out for me? *sigh!* Look at this place, it's beautiful.. PVS despite his corruption and insanity HAS done alot of good for this world.. maybe that's why SpellJammer left me behind.. he knows I question myself.. and there can be no doubt if victory is to be ontained.. I--what was that?
http://wdfw.wa.gov/gallery/albums/album16/CRAB.sized.jpg
Snarl!
RavenGuadria: Are you related to PVS? *The crab monster smacks RavenGuardia in the face with it's claw and gos to gobble her up*
RavenGuardia: What the?! UGHH! *RavenGuardia gets out her gun and shoots several times at the crab monster, it lets out a large thunder like yelp and plummets to the sand as the sea water rushes up against it and it lays there lifeless*
RavenGuardia gets up and brushes herself off and PVS walks in the sand with water running up and down his feet clapping.
PVS: You proved yourself to be higher on the food chain, good girl..
RavenGuardia: I havn't seen a crustacioun that big in my life!
PVS: Neither have I. But my marine biologists HAVE been keeping an eye on sea life lately, it seems they're going through a dramatic stage of evolution. I always said we are born, not made.. This creature is an example of what is to come in the future, grand isn't it? What fantastic suprises are instore for the two-legged animal we call man?
RavenGuardia: Sir, forgive me for not seeing the splenderness of the moment, but I have sand in my coochy.. *PVS laughs*
PVS: Oh RavenGuardia, you always did make me laugh.. tell me, what seperates us from animals?
RavenGuardia: Opposable thumbs?
PVS: Nope, the ape did that..
RavenGuardia: A developed brain?
PVS: Only for now..
RavenGuardia: ...Awareness of right and wrong?
PVS: Now you're just grasping at straws, see, animals aren't under the illussion we are that there is a right and a wrong. We will evolve above it someday too. We're just in this grey area right now because we have developed minds. Eventualy, will grow above such silly concepts like God, and "good"..
RavenGuardia: ...Can I go now?
PVS: **** me..
RavenGuardia: WHAT?!
PVS: Comeon! You know you have biological urges! Even I, grand supreme ruler of the world, need to be boned once in awhile! How could you be anymore honored then by being the mistress to me?! In the animal kingdom I'd be a grand picking!
RavenGuardia: I don't believe we're animals sir, I'm sorry..
PVS: You've been hanging around SpellJammer.. havn't you?
RavenGuardia: What?
PVS: I can read minds you know.. He's been filling your head with lies.. I would've killed you for treason but I think you'd make the perfect candiate for the most perfective offspring. But I will kill you if you stand in my way.. i'm sorry.. maybe.. *PVS puts his hand out and uses his psychokinesis*
PVS: How do you feel?
RavenGuardia: I feel, I don't know.. hot.. like..
PVS: Anxious? Anxious to leave yourself open to embrasive action?
RavenGuardia: YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME! WITH YOUR WIERDO MIND TRICKS!
PVS: *sneer* Yes, Yes I am. But who is to say it's bad? You know it feels good.. Now come here.. *RavenGuardia wraps her arms around PVS and strokes his back*
PVS: That's it my pet.. Now you're beggeining to see that.. *RavenGaurdia waits till he closes his eyes then takes out her pistol and shoots him in the back of the head, pushes him in the sand, then runs*
RavenGuardia: Oh my God! Did I just kill PVS?! I did! I got to go find SpellJammer! The war! It's finnaly over! *The lifeless PVS suddenly opens his eyes*
PVS: Why do some men feel it need be to persist in thier ignorance?

PVS has a large strap wrapped around his head where he was shot and calls fourth bardock, a merciless bounty hunter.
http://www.saiyanultimate.com/bardock2.jpg
This better be important PVS, I'm missing Golden Girls!
PVS: It is you dolt.. I need you to find, and bring back RavenGuardia ALIVE..
bardock: ****, why do they always gotta be alive?! Do you realise how much they struggle and how much work that is?!
PVS: Don't make excuses, you got a scouter, here's her code number. Unless she finds some way to remove her chip, you should be able to track her down without a problem. I doubt her little boyfriend SpellJammer has the brains to takeout a complex ID chip.. *RavenGuardia is walking in the sand*
RavenGuardia: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!
bardock: Can do boss, whatif I come across any of those other rebels?
PVS: Dispose of them. They mean nothing to me. Petty annoyances at best..
bardock: Righto.. *bardock starts glowing with a bright white flamming aura and shoots off like a rocket and breaks the roof whilest flying outward*
PVS: I really wish he'd learn to use the door like a normal person. - _ -
http://maddstarwars.free.fr/images/photos/episode1/grand/sith/darthmaul1.jpg
Master, why didn't you send me?! I'm a thousand times more competant then that oaf!
PVS: True, but not nearly as strong.RavenGuardia is far too clever, I couldn't have my prized posession being murderd in cold blood now could I? Now go make me a sandwhich Backfire.. *Backfire grumbles and walks away*
Backfireamn that whore! Ever sense she started working here PVS is always raving about her! We use to have something special! Well I'm not going to take it anymore! I'm going to find that ***** before bardock does and kill her! Then PVS will HAVE to love me! Now where did I put my moped I..MY MOPED! It's totaled! Who would be stupid enough to.. *Alpha Centauri comes out of dark corner sneering*
Backfire: Oh, it's jsut a musquito. Here I actually thought I was in some sortof danger.. *Backfire gets out his double-bladed lightsaber*
Backfire:If you had a death wish you could've just fallen off a building like any normal person.. now I'm going to slaughter you.. *Backfire waves his sword around doing spins and leaps but AC always manages to dodge, Backfire hisses*
Backfire: So you've developed a little more stealth and grace! Big deal! You're still no match for me! *Backfire charges at AC, gos to impale him with the lightsaber and not only does AC dodge but punches him in the gut releasing a mindblade that cuts open his stomache. He then lets go and lets Backfire try holding his guts in a bleed to death*
Alpha Centauri: I needed a test subject to see how far I've come. I know I'm still no match for PVS, but it's good to know I can take down his ass-kissers without even breaking a sweat. It's very reassuring. Because I'm so merciful, I'll make death quicker for you. Tell me if you see a God on the otherside. I know I didn't.. *Backfire makes a shadowbow out of his mind and fires an arrow of pure energy that peirces through Backfire's skull and kills him dead. AC stops posting and stands up straight*
Alpha Centauri: I best leave, i'm sure guards will be here shortly to see what transpired.. *AC leaves and we go back to bardock trying to track down RavenGuardia and see him at A NUDY BAR?!*
bardock: bardock's got needs to ya know! Wooo! Take it off!
http://www.alan_cook.homestead.com/files/Android_18.jpg
Hey there handsome..
bardock: My momma never told me to talk to strangers. MOMMY! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH DADDY! I WAS ONLY 30! > _ <
Lady Luck: Let me make this quick so I don't kill you out of anger. I'm Lady Luck, a prototype sex-bot.
Deano: I KNEW IT! In the van..
KidRock: Knew what?
Deano: I don't know, but one of these days I'm going to prove to you all I can be right too.. I be smart yo.. it's just geniouses go unappreciated, like Einstien did untill he died..
SpellJammer: Well we promise after you die we'll honour you if we're alive and still give a damn..
Deano: Sweet.. back to the story
Lady Luck: I was sent by PVS to make sure you don't get sidetracked by.. *a stripper bends over*
Lady Luck: Well by this.. *Lady Luck shoots a ki ball and the stripper explodes into a bloody mess*
Lady Luck: I'm your woman now. And I promise to give you all the action you want if you get back to work.
bardock: Can we have a goat involved and call him Goatse?!
Lady Luck: I already thought ahead..
http://yentala.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/goat.jpg
*MANHH!*

NOTE: No goats were hamred in the filming of this episode..
Exsept for poor little Goatse.. *MANHH!*

After some flying on bardock/Lady Luck's part and the rebels stopping to think about HOW exactly they're going to get on a plane without the money and without getting too much attention drawn to themselves to Iraq to find the Necromonicom.. Lady Luck spots them and fly down to kill them one by one.
Lady Luck: Well well well.. it looks like they're lined up nicely for us to destroy! *KidRock and SpellJammer point to Deano*
Badock: Let me check thier power levels!
Lady Luck: *Sigh!* How many times have we been over this bardock? Most human beings don't have a power level above 10! They don't bother to raise it!
SpellJammer: It's not that! God never desgined man to reach a power greater then His! If you rely too deeply on psionics you'll end up dead and unable to reincarnate untill your enegy lessens, or you'll become so intensely strong you'll blend with the quantamn field! That is why we in the craft NEVER encourage psionics! If not taken conservatively it will become disateroures!
Lady Luck: Oh you say that about everything. "conserve conserve conserve"! For once in your life. *Lady Luck opens her legs* let loose..
KidRock: If I could hurl right now, I would..
Lady Luck: KidRock, don't you miss being able to give into those biological urges?Couldn't SpellJammer atleast built you an annotamy? If not to feel, to atleast give pleasure?
KidRock: Such things only seperate me from my Holy mission on Earth. SpellJammer did his end of the bargain by making me in a way that would not lead to temptation.. *Lady Luck laughs under her breath*
Lady Luck: I'm going to enjoy killing you. And I'm going to moan the entire time! Just in spite!
Deano: ...Am I suppose to be disgusted or exsited right now? Cause frankly I'm kindof getting into it and..
SpellJammer: Deano, just shutup.. -_ - *Lady Luck fires a ki ball at SpellJammer and SpellJammer blocks with his right arm and revelas his robot arm*
SpellJammer: As you can see, I know why one should never try to play God.. You're not the only one with tools of the devil.. *A blade unhinges in SJ's arm and he leaps at bardock*
SpellJammer: And lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil! *Lady Luck blocks him from slicing off his wee-wee with her metal hand blocking the way then with the other waving her finger*
Lady Luck: Aren't you conservatives the first ones to preach about "private ownership"? That's my property.
KidRock: I DID IT SPELLJAMMER! I MANAGED TO HURL!
SpellJammer: Wonderful Kid.. - _ -;
bardock: Don't even try to cast a spell SpellJammer, I just made a psionic circle stretching 20miles long! I feel a little dizzy now, but it'll pass, besides, with Lady Luck's help we won't have any trouble defeating you or your henchmen!
Deano: WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BLAST A FIREBALL AT THEM WHEN THEY GOT HERE?!
SpellJammer: It doesn't work that way Deano! We're not suppose to abuse God's gift!
Lady Luck: Enough! I've heard enough of THAT 3-letter word for one lifetime.. *in a blur Lady Luck gets punched to the ground and SpellJammer stands in shock*
SpellJammer: Who, sli--SlipknoT?
http://www.ybfree.com/37BADSEED4.jpg
Can't have a fight without me involved now can you? *Lady Luck gets up and growls*
bardock: I thought you died! PVS had you executed years ago!
SlipknoTSense when did you started thinking?
bardock: Sense Lady Luck gave me some head. *Quagmire voice* Heh, alllriiighhht... *hurl*
KidRock: Oops I did it again.
SlipknoT: Well I'm going to enjoy kicking your asses then getting such much needed revenge on PVS! Don't worry guys! If we work together we can beat them and--guys? *Deano closes the door and they skiddadel*
SlipknoT: YOU BASTARDS! ISN'T THERE A PASSAGE THAT SAYS, "BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO UMM.. DOESN'T **** OVER THE GUY THAT SAVED THY LIFE?!"
bardock: Oh this is just sad..
Lady Luck: I wonder if it's necrophilia to sleep with a man who was dead but ressurected?
SlipknoT: Ha! Like I'm scared of you, what are you going to do? **** me to death? *Lady Luck walks closer*
SlipknoT: . _ . oh dear..

Wow ... VERY interesting!!! but keep going

......But in a good way.

Whilest all this was going on, we take you back a little while to when Clovie was gagged and tied.
*Clovie makes a mindblade and rips the ropes and takes off the duct tape*
Clovie: I "HATE" having to appear weak, but PVS might actually let me off the hook for the murdering of those 2 soilders a few months back if I tell him about there being two SpellJammers! *the soldiers kick the door open and sorround her and she just points the mindblade*
Clovie: Back away, I have important information for PVS..
Soldier: Whatever you have to say to PVS you can say to us..
Clovie: Ok wiseguy, there's two SpellJammers..
Another Soldier: Hahahaha! We're you smoking crack in that closet girly?! We don't have to take thi--
Soldier: Shutup! We know PVS has rated SpellJammer a level 3 threat! Is it so impossible that with all his genetic mutation bullcrap he managed to make a clone of himself that WORKED?
Clovie: I wouldn't call this one exactly a success either, this one's pretty unstable.. I'd say he's atleast a level 6 threat..
Yet Another Soldier: That's for PVS to decide! Not you!
Soldier: Well, thankyou for the 411 little girl, I suppose now your life has served it's purpose.. *Soldier gives the hand signal for everyone to get out thier weapon and shoot thier autorifles. In an instant their bullets miss as Clovie jumps in the air and breaks the ceiling light to make the room dark. Swirves are seen as she slices through the soldiers one by one only being able to see her face in the dim glowing light of her mindblade*
Clovie: I think I just turned the volume up to 11.. *Clovie eases her muscles and the mindblade fades, she then walks calmy over to wear the soldiers had thier cars and hijacks one and drives off in it*
Clovie: Two SpellJammers.. and one of them is a whole lot stronger then the other one! PVS may very well be overthrown if these sortof threats keep arising.. I'll have to be extra careful, a revolution is about to go underway.. Oh God, it's bardock42, why didn't SpellJammer kill him on the way out?
http://www.waynewolfe.com/images/Drag%20Queen.jpg
Hey there Clovie, looking for a good time?
Clovie: No-one on Earth has a life as stupid as mine. I'm sure of it. -_ -; Elsewhere..
Deano: Spell, sense I'm your stem-cell clone. If we were to have sex would it be considered itnercorse or masturbation?
KidRock: He's getting more psychotic with every minute! I blame you for this SpellJammer! You let him watch that filthy CNN! You know Deano is young and impressionable!
SpellJammer: -_ -;

Too many images, wtf? Maybe it was too many smilies.. will try again after this space post to maybe give it "room". Don't know if that's how it works or not.

The crew was riding down the highway when all of a suddenn SpellJammer stops the van and their faces go hitting the windiw.
KidRock: Why'd you stop?! >: \
SpellJammer: Looky. ._.
http://www.toei-anim.co.jp/tv/bo-bobo/image/chara02.gif
Hello..
Deano: Another sex-bot?!
Leana Marie: *Giggle* hardly.. The name's Leana Marie, I'm destined to bring the end of PVS'es theocracy and establish the Aurthur bloodline as royal rule once more..
KidRock: What does a bad PBS cartoon have to do with anything?
SpellJammer: She means King Arthur dilweed. -_ -
KidRock: What makes you so sure?!
SpellJammer: The big honking sword might be a dead giveaway. A sword that looks like The Excalibur..
Deano: What use is that going to be to us?! *Bardock and Lady Luck fly down*
KidRock: Guess we're about to findout..
Lady Luck: Deano and woman, you can give yourselves up, the only ones to be executed onsight are KidRock and SpellJammer..
KidRock: What's PVS got against conservatives?!
Everyone else: -_ -;
KidRock: ...Oh right...
Leana Marie: I giveup for no-one! Especialy no pawn of some half-wit dictator! *Leana Marie jumps at Lady Luck, gets out her sword and swings it at her several times, cling clang cloom, but it doesn't deliver a scratch, and leana jumps back*
Lady Luck: You annoy me. -_- *Lady Luck blast a a ki ball but she deflects it with the Excalibur*
Lady Luck: I'm not impressed.
SpellJammer: Wow. She's badass.
Deano: SpellJammer, why don't you just CAST A SPELL?! >: \
SpellJammer: Equivalent exchange! For every action there is a reaction! Are you ready to meet the consequinces for peforming the occult arts?! Are you ready to accept a new burden when we just get rid of an old one because we relied on the arcane arts?!
Leana Marie: I've never seen a spell actually casted before, I use to love the stories of Kind Arthur fighting alongside Merlin. Will you please do a spell Mr. SpellJammer?
SpellJammer: OKAY! MAKE ROOM SUCKERS! *SpellJammer does some somatic components and makes woosh sounds and everyone steps back*
Lady Luck: Bardock, why are you staring?
Bardock: You're vibrating..
Lady Luck: Oh hell, did I forget to take that thing out AGAIN?! Wait--*Lady Luck starts to vibrate more and more fiercer every second*
Lady Luck: SPELLJAMMER! OH-OH SPELLJAMMER! I'm going to explode!
SpellJammer: That's the plan..
Lady Luck: Oh Spell..Jammer? *BOOM!* Parts go flying everywhere and Lady Luck's head with the mouth wide open lands right inbetween Deano's legs
Deano: Even in death.. -_ -;
Bardock: No! My lover! What have you done?! Who will now sex me up?!
SpellJammer: SpellJammer will tell you what, you join us, and KidRock will be your new lover..
KidRock: WHAT?! >: \
Deano: Do it for me the team Kid!
Bardock: Not it, him.
KidRock: No way! Aint going to happen! >: \
Bardock: Well, there's no way I can defeat all of you at once so.. *Bardock pushes some buttons on his scouter*
Bardock: I've called for backup. In five minutes you're all dead. >: D
SpellJammer: Don't think so dude..
Bardock: What?! Why not?!
SpellJammer: That whole "let KidRock be your new lover" thing was just a diversion so SpellJammer could do an enchantment. An enchantment to manipulate the minds of everyone in the faccinity of thirty miles. Don't know what the consquinces will be for such a spell, but don't care, they will be convinced you're a treasonist. We have to run NOW guys.. *Everyone rushes to the van and drives off*
Bardock: Ha! He's bluffing, and they'll go running after him now worrying about.. *Soldiers sorround bardock and cock thier guns*
Bardock: Me?
Solder: FIRE!
Bardock: ...Your mother... >: \ *Those are bardock's last words as he's gunned down*
KidRock: What do you think the consequinces will be for that big spell SpellJammer?
SpellJammer: Ah, probably nothing really.. SpellJammer wouldn't worry about it..
http://www.myastrologybook.com/The-planet-Saturn-in-astronomy.jpg
Meanwhile, on Saturn 12, the most intelligent planet in the known universe. Has just got done translating ALL sentinent being's languages. And plans to go around the multiverse enlightening people on how to co-exsist peacefuly without war or greed.
http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/f/mfg140/Matt_Photoshop_Folder/Light%20Explosion.jpg
*Deadplanetsayswhat*

As the smoke clears and Bardock lets down his arms from shielding his face, he looks on to see shocked soldiers.
Barodkc: Those bullets hurt like a *****! Do you have any idea how bruised I'm going to be tommorow?! >: \
Soldier: Reload idiots! RELOAD! *Before they can reload thier guns Bardock runs around them grabbing thier necks and cracking it/kicking thier jaws off*
Bardock: Great, so now thanks to that stupid SpellJammer PVS is going to think I betrayed him.. and once more, my sex-bot is DEAD! >: \ Hmm.. I could try killing SpellJammer, even if he thinks I'm a treasonist surelythe death of SpellJammer will prove me innocent I--*cough!* I--*gag* In a deep meditative state PVS is telekineticaly strangeling Bardock
PVS: Don't be so sure.. His little spells may not have effected me.. But I don't tolerate failure..
Random soldier: Sir, why don't you just kill SpellJammer yourself if you can do this?
PVS: Why do you speak of logic in my own fotress private?! Are you with the enemy?! >: \ *The random soldier explodes*
PVS: I'm sorrounded by incompetence.. -_ -
Meanwhile.. whilest Kid is driving thier van, it suddenly stops and starts to float in mid-air
KidRock: what the hell?
Deano: BAIL! *Everyone jumps out of the van and it suddenly drops causing it to crush and catch on fire then explode*
Leana Marie: I knew things would get rough.. *Leana holds SpellJammer's hand*
Leana Marie: SpellJammer, if we live through this, I want to spend the rest of my life with you..*Leana screams and suddenly is floating in the air*
KidRock: Look over there!
http://www.toysnjoys.com/hack/13inchmachaplush.jpg
He's the one doing all the levitating!
Deano: Man Spell, he makes you seem like an amatuer..
SpellJammer: We'll just see about that.. >: \ LET GO OF MY FUTURE WIFE FUZZY BALLS! *SpellJammer launches a fireball which completely dissipates over the strange warlock's invisible force-field which only becomes visible for a moment as the flames are snuffed out over it*
Deano: Wo. ._.
SpellJammer: Two spells at one time?! That's not even possible! *The cat-man grins then grips tightly his hand and Leana's entire body begins to stretch and she stops looking human as her molecules stretch farther and farther and she starts to become just a lump of cell's stretching to thier maximum. She screams "I love you Spell.." then rips apart but nothing is left over. It's like she merged with the sky*
Deano: What the hell was that?!
SpellJammer: If he didn't know any better SpellJammer would say he just merged Leana Marie with the quantamn field. It's death for the dead..
KidRock: The Excalibur went with her. Wonderful. I could've sold that ***** on Ebay.. *The strange cat creature just waves goodbye, smirks, then warps in a blur of lines away as Deano go's to throw a punch it's not there anymore*
Deano: Who was that guy?
SpellJammer: It HAD to be one of PVS'es minions.. Who else would destroy SpellJammer's only shot at love? Now we get serious, PVS is dead! >: \
KidRock: How are we going to get to the airport with no car? *SpellJammer grabs both of them and warps to a nearby airport*
SpellJammer: Now, I'm going to need aboslute silence on you two's part for this one. *SpellJammer claps his hands together, rolls his eyes in the back of his head, and makes 3 tickets to Iraq so they can get the Necomonicom.*
Deano: All that effort for some tickets?
KidRock: It's not just tickets Deano, SpellJammer had to bend the space-time countiuem to somehow justify the money in all 3 of our bank accounts and re-write history so we could get that money in the first place, while retaining our conciounce thought of it all.
Deano: What effect is THAT going to have?
SpellJammer: Don't know, don't care. Let's get a moveon.
As they rush towards thier flight, elsewhere Big Evil and Bun-Bun are rocking back and forth cuddeling on a chain bench
Big Evil: You know, maybe it's time I gaveup all this "evil" stuff and settled down with you Bun-Bun. We could live on a farm and live our lives humble and peaceful-like. Forget all this psychosis and anarchy and--Bun-Bun? *Bun-Bun falls to the floor as dead as she was before SpellJammer brought her back, flies begin to swarm around her head*
Big Evil: ...****!

>.< you killed me off?! and that picture is very inaccurate, she had no boobs, i am a D cup

whats gonna happen to me???

as long as your not bi you wont die, im not sure what that means...

lol interesting story

Originally posted by Coldfire
lol interesting story
Thankyou babe, just for that, SpellJammer thinks you may have a place in it.

On the plane, Deano is asleep with a bubble going up and down on his nose, KidRock is reading "the washington post", and SpellJammer is kneeling down praying then all of a sudden opens his eyes, claps, and a glowing yellow circle stands infront of him and suddenly a woman is formed in the circle.
http://www.gaming-media.com/rpg/Chrono_Trigger/Artwork/lucca.jpg
KidRock: Wow, Spell learned how to CREATE a girlfriend..
SpellJammer: Quite you. >: \ This is an old friend of SpellJammer's, he's not happy having to rely on magick for so much offenssive attack, Coldfire.. SpellJammer needs you to give him a handjob.. *Everyone on the plain gets real quite, even the baby stops crying*
Everyone: . _ .
Coldfire: What? ._. *SpellJammer lays his robotic arm on the table*
SpellJammer: A hand job! Put gun powder, SOMETHING in his arm as a secondary weapon! The dagger thing just aint going to.. well it does cut it but..
KidRock: Enough with the bad puns! Coldfire do as he says before his jokes destroy our minds! >_<
Coldfire: And where am I to get the matireals to do this upgrade?! My ass?! >: \ *SpellJammer snaps his fingers, a glowing yellow circle appears with all kinds of metals and equipment, and she thinks to herself "darn, I was hoping he'd go and look.."*
About 2 hours later.
Coldfire: All done. I figured you're a redneck, it'd be best as you said to go with a "gun". However, I know how you are, you tend to go all out, so I desgined a mini-trigger in every finger. You get FIVE shots, I think that should be enough. I would've put something like a smg in your arm, but the weight density would be too noticable and would slow you down..
Deano: Doesn't ANYONE besides me find it strange that some guy is just teleporting weapons onboard, and fixing himself up to be a death machine?!
KidRock: Dude, we're headed to Iraq.. get with the program.. *SpellJammer draws a circle and tells Coldfire to go stand over there*
SpellJammer: There's no reason for you to get involved, I'll teleport you back to where you were, then this will be OUR problem..
Coldfire: No way! We're in this together SpellJammer! Till death do us part! >: \
Deano: That only applies to married people!
Coldfire: It could happen! You don't know! >: \ *SpellJammer claps his hands and sends Coldfire back to where she came from*
KidRock: Spell, you're always complaining about not having a girlfriend and--
SpellJammer: She's a frail little scientist chick, do you seriously think SpellJammer is stupid enough to get her involved in this mess?! *Coldfire can hear his every word over an inner-coam*
Coldfire: No, but Coldfire thinks you're stupid enough to underestimate her--OH GOD! NOW I'M DOING THE THIRD PERSON CRAP! : \ *Coldfire has a detector that shows SpellJammer as the red dot on her map, she then gets on her super-cycle that can float over waters and go at exseptional speeds and speeds off to go catchup with them*
Coldfire: Spell, you're SO predictable.. So predictable infact I know you love me! But if for some reason you don't.. then nobody else will get to have you! You're mine! >: \
Elsewhere in a dark alley Clovie and Alpha Centauri walk from oppisite sides towards eachother but stand about twenty feet away, at the same time they unleash thier mindblade and strike a fighting pose.
Clovie/Alpha Centauri: All the power will be mine! >: \ *Both leap at eachother*
To be countiued..

I loved that!

Alpha Centauri and Clovie duel. They do backflips and swurve around one another as thier mindblades clash and it looks like a lightsaber fued. Energy cracks and it is a familar sound as their blades snap into eachother.
Clovie: It's no good AC! We're evenly matched!
Alpha Centauri: Foolish girl! Is everyone but me ignorant? *AC forms a mindblade over his stomache and sticks it into Clovie's, she coughs blood and falls to her knees*
Alpha Centauri: I'm a man of compassion, I value life.. Sooo.. *AC slices off Clovie's head and absorbs her life-force*
Alpha Centauri: I feel stronger then ever! Clovie's life force has raised my power substaniously! If there was a God, not even He could stop me now! PVS will soon be mine! *AC runs and looks like a blur, he even runs over water*
Meanwhile, a very loud bar, filled with rude, brutish men playing pool, darts, getting drunk, and singing bad kareokie. A man suddenly walks them that makes them all grow quite.
http://plaza.ufl.edu/joec/images/onlinequiz_trigun_vash.jpg
Have any of you seen SpellJammer? *The mysterious coated man shows a picture*
Biker guy: No, but you can see my dick if you pay me enough girly boy! Hahahahaha! *the coated man points a desert eagle at his head and shoots him dead*
Sir Mist: The name is Sir Mist, you've probably heard of me..
Another biker: The most feared bounty hunter in the entire world. ._.
Someone else: And that's an understandment. ._.
Bartender: We don't know nothing Sir Mist..
Sir Mist: That's too bad.. guess I'm just going to have to leave then.. *Sir Mist so quickly shoots everyone and reloads his gun to start shooting more people that no-one has time to run as everyone in the bar is left dead and a bloody mess. Sir Mist just stands there amongst the bodies and smoke, and walks out and passes wind*
Sir Mist: Ah, no-one's gonna know..
As our heroes are searching for The Necromonicom. They come across that strange rabbit mage again.
SpellJammer: You! >: \
KidRock: Who are you and what do you want? *The bunny man talks but has a man AND a seperate woman's voice simutanously talking*
SpellJammer Prime: Our name is SpellJammer. Though you can refer to us as God.
Them: . _ .
SpellJammer: Sense when was SpellJammer God?! Don't you think if he were God he'd be able to find a damn girlfriend?! Oh wait, God killed her! >: \
SpellJammer Prime: She wasn't the one. She would've mislead you from your destiny SpellJammer.. We know this, we know all. We came here from a multiverse. A multiverse where SpellJammer found the one right for him. And to be with her forever merged his soul with her own. He became she and she became he which caused them to become they. PVS stood no chance against the likes of so much love and peace and oneness with the universe. But we longed for knowledge, what would've life been like without the Reoublic? So we built this universe, seperating ourselves from space and time so it would wrap around us and create this. A world where PVS was able to have an oppurtunity. And now we see the results.
Deano: What was your world like? What was it like to have the Republic win the battle?
SpellJammer Prime: ...Some things are better left unsaid... We never counted on you trying to play God this much SpellJammer..
Kidrock: Well gee, he only calls himself it technichaly.. >: \
SpellJammer Prime: There is an imbalance. This must be dealt with. *SpellJammer prime snaps his fingers and teleports Big Evil to the scene*
Deano: Holy crap! Not that guy again!
SpellJammer Prime: There can be only one.
SpellJammer: Wait, if you win won't there technichaly be two?
SpellJammer Prime: Whatever, don't correct God.
Big Evil: God?! I got molesterd by a preist! >: |
SpellJammer Prime: No you didn't.. >: \
Big Evil: I know, I just want attention. I get so few words in.. : (
SpellJammer: Big Evil, there's no way we can beat this guy alone. We're going to have to team-up if..
Big Evil: Your stupid spell caused my Bun-Bun to go boom-boom! You'll pay for it with your life! >: \ *SJ Prime telekitnicatly slams both of them into eachother*
SpellJammer Prime: One is the lonelist number..
Deano: Either SpellJammer is increddibly full of himself or has some major self-image problems.. *KidRock is busy reading a book on global politics*
KidRock: There's a NEW Mexico!

Niiiice