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Right now, this is my favorite quote, or quotes, I should say from a movie.

Walter: "I mean, say what you want about the tenants of national socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos. And also, let's not forget, LET'S NOT FORGET, DUDE, that keeping wildlife . . . um . . an amphibioius rodent . . . for . . . um, you know, domestic . . . within then city . . . that ain't legal either."

The Dude: "What, are you a f*cking park ranger now?"

Mine: was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl harbor..............? Hell no!

Billy Mack in Love Actually

Oh! **** wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!

Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.

Navin R. Johnson: And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

Navin R. Johnson: And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.

Stan Fox: Damn these glasses.
Navin R. Johnson: Yes, sir.

Navin R. Johnson: I damn thee.

Navin R. Johnson: You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. And I'm glad, because there's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say.

Navin R. Johnson: "I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit." There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.

click my profile, too lazy to copy.

New Accounts Bank Manager: I will need two pieces of identification.
Navin R. Johnson: ah yes. I have my temporary driver's license - and - my astronaut application form... I didn't pass that though, I failed everything but the date of birth.

How did you know I was adopted??

Driver: "Hey where ya headed?"
Navin: "St. Louis, where you going?"
Driver: "To the end of this fence."
Navin: ---Okay! *gets in truck*
Navin: "My name is Navin R. Johnson, what's yours?"
Driver: "Here we are."

Originally posted by Tired Hiker
How did you know I was adopted??

Clovie told me.

Navin: How much is all this gonna cost me?
Mr. Hartounian: Nothing. When you're rich and famous, you can send me a postcard.
Navin: Postcard, huh. (thinking about it). Okay! It's a deal!

Grandmother: (reading letter) My dear family, guess what. Today I found out what my penis is for. Gosh what a great time I had. I wish my whole family could have been here with me. Maybe some other time as I intend to do this a lot. Every chance I get. I think next week I'll be able to send some more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job. Your loving son, Navin. (stops reading) And he's got the kisses here.
Father: That Patty must be a sweet girl.
Mother: God bless her

Boss: We'll keep the eggplants out!
Navin: Ah good! We don't want any vegetables.
Con Man: Na, na. The jungle bunnies!
Navin: Oh of course! They'll eat the vegetables!

"See what happens Larry, see what happens when you **** a stranger in the ass!" *smashes car*

Oh, and i wasn't adopted. Not that being adopted is bad or anything.

Stan Fox: Stan Fox, buying gas.
Navin: Navin Johnson, selling it, sir!

Max: "I Ching? You threw a man out a window!"
Vincent: "I didn't throw him, he fell."
Max: "What'd he do to you?"
Vincent: "Nothing, I only met him one time."
Max: "Then how can you kill him like that?"
Vincent: "What, I should only kill people after I get to know them?"

Cletus, what movie is that?

The Jerk.