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I went to that "Silent Bob Speaks: An Evening with Kevin Smith" last night....very funny stuff..except for the part about his first time with his wife and his "open wound"...I think he traumatized me..now when ever I think of him it's gonna be about the...wound. almost as traumatizing as Texas and Bjork...almost.

Well now your gonna have to tell us how he lost his cherry and the open wound story, cause my booty is tingling with excitement!

Please............................

Well, it's all one story!..He was making out with his (now) wife and they got so intense with it that it ended up huge gash on his.... A HUGE GASH!...he made it sound like it damn near cut it in two..ick..and he still has sex with her...without a condom..stupid stupid man.


What really amazed me is that he would tell this story..in full detail to a room of about 3 HUNDRED strangers...

Damn!!!
His wife needs to shave her stubble better!

Ick!!

That poor bastard.

Makes ya wanna grab your shorts and protect your little buddy huh?!

Nothing little about my buddy!

*puts on ten pairs of boxers, 5 pairs of shorts, and armored pants*

What?

Hmmm...You've got a puffy butt, Rex

unit injury makes me wanna cry.

Hmmmmmmmm...he didn't cry..he must be moreof a man than you J/K

Thats the kind of injury I wouldn't want to take to the hospital though, would any of you?

Now Rex has cop butt.

All I can imagine is Rex asking someone, "...does my arse look big in this?....".

I wouln't want to take a unit injury to a hospital either. I'd be too embaressed.

So you'd rather just bleed to death, right Lance ?

Yeah

No man likes to go to the doctor's, let alone with a personal injury like that.

I guess its a guy thing.

Yeah it is

It's very important for us men to protect our members. If something should happen to it, our lives are over.

So its pretty much like a lightsabre ?

Not quite, when you lose your lightsabre you can use someone elses or you can build a new one to your liking.

If you lose your member, you're not exactly gonna use someone elses and you can't build a new one - but if you could that'd be great, so as To said End f any meaningful life!

Imagine Ben Kenobi giving Luke his fathers lightsabre and then giving him his member because it had been cut off in a sabre duel - now that may have put a different complexion on ANH.

You are sick man !

*looks over own shoulder, looks around and points to self*

Who me?

Yeah you !

Here's another smiley link for ya ..

http://www.forum-smilies.com/

She truly is the smily queen.

Its the one bad habit I have that Ush hates.

No, there is another....














































ME!

But I know how to keep you in line...

http://www.forum-smilies.com/brutal_33.gif

Now that is cool - thanks.

http://www.forum-smilies.com/fantastisch_01.gif

I just knew you'd like that one.

I'm thinking that just about everyone here's gonna like that one!

http://www.forum-smilies.com/fun_11.gif

http://www.forum-smilies.com/fun_59.gif

hehe Rex, that's a good one

I like it!

You guys are out of hand.
http://www.forum-smilies.com/fun_18.gif

*opens hand*
you are right! we're not here anymore!

18000 posts for Yerssot.

congrats! soon 2000!

Umm, he passed 2000 16000 posts ago.

well mah... I think I already passed the 2000 nine times...

20000, as you all understood

I didn't understand.

you think I understood???

Mah has confused the Confuser for once. This is strange.

I posted that???? I can't remember it

Well what do you expect after 18000 posts ?

A FUNNY remark?

no, I'm here to get some decency back... and even more spelling-errors in...

shouldn't that be more smelling errors, yers?

Ouch!

No, its mor speling erors coran.

Oh wel, wee al mak misteaks.

I smell waffles....

Better run then.

Forget running. I'm taking the Falcon.

Yerssot thought the hyperdrive was a waffle and ate it, remember?

Damn !

*fires up the Executor*

You wanna take a ride with me, darlin?

Depends. Got a fast ship ?

http://www.unique-hardware.co.uk/server-smilies/contrib/sarge/Tomcat.gif

Well in that case....

*packs toothbrush, lightsabre, six pack of Zima*

I'm ready !

Off we go.
http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/otn/violent/awing.gif

You look just like Starbuck in there.

Felgercarb. Will you be my Athena?

Ah....so you would choose Athena over Cassiopeia ? Interesting. Thought you would have gone for the blonde.

Cassiopeia was cuter, but I prefer darkies.

I thought most guys preferred blondes.

Nah doesnt matter the haircolor, you never know if it is their true color anyway....until

...you ask them politly

No, you do that and you're not likely to get to Finti's until to find out if they are an Airplane blond or not!!

A Dutch comic likes to lash out at blondes because they are dumb. He once made a funny remark that he couldn't blame real blondes. They couldn't help it after all. What he didn't get is why people choose to DYE their hair blonde.

It's not just the blonde Ladies either:-
Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!"
The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least 5 boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis."

Pure blonde intelligence.

Thats a good one !

Didn't you dye your hair blonde, Gundy?


...



...uh...ooohhhh........... http://www.maverickreport.com/images/smilies/shinner.gif

Yeah - I was a blonde for about 5 or 6 years.

Good thing you fixed that.

Well I didn't really fix it. I just let it grow out. Its my natural brown now.

I love it! http://www.maverickreport.com/images/smilies/love2.gif

You love anything with long hair

I thought he disliked the ewoks

Their hair isn't long enough.

Ewok hair is like petting a poodle.

So you're telling us you've petted an Ewok ?

not that I admired you, but now you don't stand a chance anymore

Umm Captain Rex, hate to be the one to tell you this, but those 'Ewoks' you go around petting, their just hairy midgets babe!

so is he