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Overrated or no? All of my male friend's (in successful marraiges, mind you) say it's a crock. Are they weird or not?

I'm starting to believe it is overrated. Presently, I'm in a healthy relationship that has lasted over a year now, and some of the points they have brought up are valid.

They all cite that once that initial spark (aka chemistry wears away), the real relationship begins, and thus chemistry has already packed its bags a long time ago.

Well there is the pheromone thingie, but that's only an attraction type scent...IF you are meeting face to face......

In my opinion it's a personality thing.....not so much even looks...Cause looks fade away....AS far as I'm concerned...some one could be quite a bit older or younger than me, have a beer gut and even be bald...just a click in sharing laughter, and some things in common, intelligence is big on my list along with open mindedness...

Sort the punctuation out woman. Jesus.

I suppose it simply comes down to what you look for in a relationship. Some people see the 'spark' as the apotheosis, and everything post then is freefall.

For others, when the relationship becomes routine they find their happiness.

Originally posted by debbiejo
some one could be quite a bit older or younger than me, have a beer gut and even be bald..

If this weren't the case, we would have no prime-time sitcom shows because the main male character would never exist!!

Originally posted by debbiejo
Well there is the pheromone thingie, but that's only an attraction type scent...IF you are meeting face to face......

In my opinion it's a personality thing.....not so much even looks...Cause looks fade away....AS far as I'm concerned...some one could be quite a bit older or younger than me, have a beer gut and even be bald...just a click in sharing laughter, and some things in common, intelligence is big on my list along with open mindedness... hmm... now if only all the hot chicks in the world thought that, wouldn't that be something.

personally i don't know what chemistry is all about, but if he/she makes you laugh smile and feel goofy inside just from talking and interacting... then i guess you could call that chemistry... helps if they got some junk in the trunk..

Originally posted by BobbyD
Overrated or no? All of my male friend's (in successful marraiges, mind you) say it's a crock. Are they weird or not?

I'm starting to believe it is overrated. Presently, I'm in a healthy relationship that has lasted over a year now, and some of the points they have brought up are valid.

They all cite that once that initial spark (aka chemistry wears away), the real relationship begins, and thus chemistry has already packed its bags a long time ago.

I find lust is the initial attractor. Chemistry is actually what it take to have a lasting relationship, that and a lot of work.

Originally posted by KharmaDog
I find lust is the initial attractor. Chemistry is actually what it take to have a lasting relationship, that and a lot of work. and goddamm is it a lot of work.

the best relationships i've been in have always had that "certain something"

for me its the cliched butterflies in the stomach feeling...even now after 11 years of being away from the girl i call my first love...when i see her i still get that feeling...strange i know...

Originally posted by botankus
If this weren't the case, we would have no prime-time sitcom shows because the main male character would never exist!! You're right....

To me it's a melding thing...someone you just mesh with...You look beyond the physical to the inside and find a diamond....One that has many facets.....There around...Works the other way around too...Of course there are many good looking people with those qualities...And many people don't even consider themselves good looking.....And yet sparkle.

Originally posted by debbiejo
There are some....There the ones that figured it all out. hahahaaha....apparently not in L.A.

Originally posted by debbiejo
True...land of plastic people.... but oh so nice to look at....from afar -sigh-

Hollywood types have such distorted ideas about relationships and values. They usually start off on the wrong path.

Originally posted by BobbyD
Hollywood types have such distorted ideas about relationships and values. They usually start off on the wrong path. that's such a general statement though and bordering on vague...i live in L.A. and i don't consider myself a hollywood type at all.

LA doesn't =hollywood. I THINK there are non celebties there.

I think you're getting your psycho-babble terms up-mixed. The initial 'spark' is different to 'chemistry'. I've always - since I was a pram-pushed playa - thought that chemistry was the ease with which two people respond and act towards each other. The spark is what lights the fuse to begin the fireworks of all those pops, bangs and whizzes...