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it's great, and it is a strong start too

Cuul, you give no idea as to where the story is heading? Waiting now for it to develop.........

.... interested in the character...........

this is a great start! i cant wait to read more

Thanks! Anyways, heres more now.


They next morning, Athena dressed in her warm attire, went down to breakfast. She had on a cloak over her black robes and her red and gold Gryffindor scarf. November had blown away and December had dawned on them. It was snowing lightly outside, and tomorrow, most of the students would be going home to their parents for the Christmas holidays. Holly sprigs were strewn along the walls in the corridors and fairies were fluttering near the ceiling. The Christmas trees were not yet up, but were being dragged in by Hagrid, covered in snow. The merry air resided around everyone; despite the fact not all the decorations were complete. Athena finished her breakfast and when the caretaker allowed her to go to Hogsmeade, she hurried towards her favorite store, Honeydukes.

She bought some Pepper Imps, Chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts, Sugar Quills, Fizzing Whizbees, Jelly Slugs, Levitating Sherbert Balls, creamy chunks of Nougat, shimmering pink squares of Coconut Ice and lots more. By the time she was done, her arms were so full of sweets, they were nearly falling out and she struggled as she made her way to the counter. When she was leaving, she was aware that her money sack was considerably lighter than when she went in.

She decided she needed an owl of her own. One she wouldn't have to share with her brother. It wouldn't be an easy task, though, because in the past, Slytherins had appeared out of nowhere, as if her brother had sent them, and prevented her from getting one. She sighed and entered pet store, surprised that no Slytherins magically appeared. Her eyes fell upon a particular owl that was pristine white, covered with light brown spots. She smiled softly, and the owl hooted at her. She quickly purchased it and hurried out into the busy, student-filled streets of Hogsmeade, which was now covered in a thicker layer of slushy snow. Athena decided to let her owl out to avoid a confrontation with her brother, should he appear. She then said a charm to make the owl cage smaller than her thumb. Shoving it into the pocket of her robes, and wrapping her cloak tighter around her, she made her way to the Three Broomsticks.

The chattering of her fellow students persuaded her to want to join in, she needed someone to talk to, to vent, but having no one to, she bought herself a Butterbeer and sipped it, feeling the usual warm glow, flow through her veins. She took a seat at the bar beside an old witch gulping shots of Fire whiskey and an elder wizard, his robes and cloak grimy and shabby. She was having a perfect day, but she just wished that she had a friend to share it with. Even the teachers were having the time of their lives with their drinks and talking to each other at a booth in the corner. A sudden breeze sent a renewed chill through the warm pub and Athena's face dropped as she realized whom it was standing in the open doorway.

All the joy that filled Athena that day, slid away as the newcomer approached her. His usual cronies flanked him. "Get away from me," she said angrily, looking down at her drink. She had hoped for no confrontations today.

"Ahh, my dear little sis, do you think I just dropped by to say hello? If you did, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm here for more than that," sneered Draco, his blonde hair almost covering his silvery blue eyes.

Wow. You left me speechless there. Strong start of and it really draws you into the story. Even though some people have to start with a bang to attract others to their story, this one flows so smoothly, it has so much detail, just WOW. You have a lot of talent. Even though you haven't posted much yet, I can foretell that this will be a great story. Its just AMAZING and I really can't wait for more.

More people shoud REALLY read and comment on this story.