Hip Hop heads

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Magee
I've just recently started to create some of my own lyrics and I just wanted some opinions on one of them in particular, here it is.

What you niggaz want coz I got it rite here,
ya niggaz strut, then a hit ya rite there,
Not really impressed by wat ya'll niggaz wear,
ya'll talk shit but I really don't care,
I'm the type of nigga that'l die for the cause,
fuk wat u heard ima die for my dawgs,
Ain't scared o shit coz I rise and a fall,
fuker drag on coz his fists in the flames,
drag on mutha fuka don't forget the name,
coz we all takin over ain't shit the same,
if you scared ma nigga u better quit the game.
and aint no other cats got love for me,
aint no black cats go'ne bust for me,
aint no cats go'ne shed love for me,
but ma thug is go'ne be a thug wit me.

I'm new to this so its nothing great, be honest and tell me if u think its any good.

-hh-
that was really bad man, ill give more details to why it was bad after i got to go to my classes

peace!

no need to say "niggaz"

eggmayo
Your white, right?

Magee
no.

Magee
Ok apparently its not to good, mainly because of my constant use of nigga or watever. So how about this one.

If im gonna rap, ima rap all night,
if im lookin for sumthin its probably a fight,
If im gonna fuk bitches then theyd better be tight.
If i gota play, ima play till a win,
since i gotta be here to win, to begin,
stay with the raps coz the raps is the real,
wanna fuk then we fuk, already know the deal,
fuk wat u look like just show me the real,
till i keep a spot we can go to chill.

How was that? Shit yea, but im new to this lol.

Tengu Man
whoa whoa whoa man, you need to adjust those lyrics COMPLETELY, they need to have meaning in them, put some lyricisim in there man. use punchlines too, those are perfect in rap sogs.

Afro Cheese
I'm no lyricist but before you even begin to think about trying to write lyrics with meaning you need to adjuct your rhyme shemes and syllables.. you're approaching it like it's a dr seus book.

Nay sayer
Originally posted by Magee
no.


Then you write you should be writing about something. Your rhymes aren't really about anything--pick a person,place, thing or event to rap about and just having a subject will make your rhymes so much better--what youre doing is what all rappers do ---be better than them--but keep it up, that shit aint easy -

eggmayo
Example of a badly written song by a white guy:

http://www.letssingit.com/?/eminem-ass-like-that-v1srwpt.html

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by Magee
I've just recently started to create some of my own lyrics and I just wanted some opinions on one of them in particular, here it is.

What you niggaz want coz I got it rite here,
ya niggaz strut, then a hit ya rite there,
Not really impressed by wat ya'll niggaz wear,
ya'll talk shit but I really don't care,
I'm the type of nigga that'l die for the cause,
fuk wat u heard ima die for my dawgs,
Ain't scared o shit coz I rise and a fall,
fuker drag on coz his fists in the flames,
drag on mutha fuka don't forget the name,
coz we all takin over ain't shit the same,
if you scared ma nigga u better quit the game.
and aint no other cats got love for me,
aint no black cats go'ne bust for me,
aint no cats go'ne shed love for me,
but ma thug is go'ne be a thug wit me.

I'm new to this so its nothing great, be honest and tell me if u think its any good.

no2

-hh-
Originally posted by Magee
Ok apparently its not to good, mainly because of my constant use of nigga or watever. So how about this one.

If im gonna rap, ima rap all night,
if im lookin for sumthin its probably a fight,
If im gonna fuk bitches then theyd better be tight.
If i gota play, ima play till a win,
since i gotta be here to win, to begin,
stay with the raps coz the raps is the real,
wanna fuk then we fuk, already know the deal,
fuk wat u look like just show me the real,
till i keep a spot we can go to chill.

How was that? Shit yea, but im new to this lol. sick you need alot of adjusting.

JacopeX
Originally posted by Magee
I've just recently started to create some of my own lyrics and I just wanted some opinions on one of them in particular, here it is.

What you niggaz want coz I got it rite here,
ya niggaz strut, then a hit ya rite there,
Not really impressed by wat ya'll niggaz wear,
ya'll talk shit but I really don't care,
I'm the type of nigga that'l die for the cause,
fuk wat u heard ima die for my dawgs,
Ain't scared o shit coz I rise and a fall,
fuker drag on coz his fists in the flames,
drag on mutha fuka don't forget the name,
coz we all takin over ain't shit the same,
if you scared ma nigga u better quit the game.
and aint no other cats got love for me,
aint no black cats go'ne bust for me,
aint no cats go'ne shed love for me,
but ma thug is go'ne be a thug wit me.

I'm new to this so its nothing great, be honest and tell me if u think its any good.

That sucked!!! I hate when people make raps up online. Go to BET freestyle friday and lets see if people will give you respect for it. They probably wont.

JacopeX
Originally posted by eggmayo
Example of a badly written song by a white guy:

http://www.letssingit.com/?/eminem-ass-like-that-v1srwpt.html

Shut the hell up EMINEM is a great rapper. I dont feel like explaining it until someone really talk about him.

JacopeX
Originally posted by Magee
Ok apparently its not to good, mainly because of my constant use of nigga or watever. So how about this one.

If im gonna rap, ima rap all night,
if im lookin for sumthin its probably a fight,
If im gonna fuk bitches then theyd better be tight.
If i gota play, ima play till a win,
since i gotta be here to win, to begin,
stay with the raps coz the raps is the real,
wanna fuk then we fuk, already know the deal,
fuk wat u look like just show me the real,
till i keep a spot we can go to chill.

How was that? Shit yea, but im new to this lol.

Wanna fuk then we fuk? Thats homo. i don go that way homes

jlee17xoxo412
damn... to tell you the truth, your lyrics could use some work
your lyrics have to have a meaning to you and know one else
A rap is nothing but your own poem. Try free stylin about any thing or just wrighting poems and c what u get

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
That sucked!!! I hate when people make raps up online. Go to BET freestyle friday and lets see if people will give you respect for it. They probably wont. you idiot. you do know that BET Freestyle Friday aren't even freestyles. THEY ARE WRITTEN FREESTYLES.

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
Shut the hell up EMINEM is a great rapper. I dont feel like explaining it until someone really talk about him. laughing laughing

eminem is wack nowadays.

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
Wanna fuk then we fuk? Thats homo. i don go that way homes he's better than you. calm the **** down.

JacopeX
Originally posted by -hh-
you idiot. you do know that BET Freestyle Friday aren't even freestyles. THEY ARE WRITTEN FREESTYLES. laughing laughing laughing SIKE!

JacopeX
Originally posted by -hh-
he's better than you. calm the **** down.


I dont rap foo'

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
I dont rap foo' ok congratulations. he's rapping, and he's learning.

JacopeX
Originally posted by -hh-
laughing laughing

eminem is wack nowadays.

no2

JacopeX
Originally posted by -hh-
ok congratulations. he's rapping, and he's learning.

I didnt know that

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
no2 prove it. prove that he is still great as he was when he first touched the mic in the late 90's.

JacopeX
Jus wait till his up coming album com,es. Im gonna buy it and see if hes sold out. If the raps are good, hes still great.

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
Jus wait till his up coming album com,es. Im gonna buy it and see if hes sold out. If the raps are good, hes still great. you still didn't answer my question. prove to me that he is still great. Encore was garbage.

JacopeX
Originally posted by -hh-
you still didn't answer my question. prove to me that he is still great. Encore was garbage.

NO it wasnt, it wuz hot.

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
NO it wasnt, it wuz hot. almost everyone i've spoken to agreed that Encore was garbage, even hardcore Eminem fans. and once again you didn't answer my question. Prove to me that Eminem is still great.

JacopeX
I already did, wait till the new album comes out.

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
I already did, wait till the new album comes out. that's not proving anything. that's referring to the future which cannot be foretold. so once again, prove to us that Eminem is still great.

JacopeX
No, i dont have tyo prove shit

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
No, i dont have tyo prove shit you just said that Eminem was great. How can he be great when you cant even prove it.

Afro Cheese
Originally posted by JacopeX
Jus wait till his up coming album com,es. Im gonna buy it and see if hes sold out. If the raps are good, hes still great. His next album is supposed to be a greatest hits cd..

-hh-
Originally posted by Afro Cheese
His next album is supposed to be a greatest hits cd.. laughing Jacope is a complete idiot. this proves that he doens't know shit about hip hop.

Pointinel
Originally posted by Afro Cheese
His next album is supposed to be a greatest hits cd..

^cosigns, lol

i was about to say the same thing. and 'Curtain Call' is already out but its not really his greatest hits but his greatest *HITS*, like that wack 'pls. stand up" song

Afro Cheese
Yeah well that's how greatest hits cd's go.

Phat J
i heard it was all his singles. he ahs a few new songs on it, ive also heard they were complete shit.

Darth Revan
Magee:

-don't say "nigga" (I know it's already been said)
-don't say "****" as much
-don't rap about ****ing bitches
-don't rap about how much better than everyone else you are
-pick something, and write a poem about that topic

yes

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by JacopeX
No, i dont have tyo prove shit

roll eyes (sarcastic)

Deathblow
Originally posted by Magee
What you niggaz want coz I got it rite here,
ya niggaz strut, then a hit ya rite there,
Not really impressed by wat ya'll niggaz wear,
ya'll talk shit but I really don't care,
I'm the type of nigga that'l die for the cause,
fuk wat u heard ima die for my dawgs,
Ain't scared o shit coz I rise and a fall,
fuker drag on coz his fists in the flames,
drag on mutha fuka don't forget the name,
coz we all takin over ain't shit the same,
if you scared ma niggaz u better quit the game.
and aint no other cats got love for me,
aint no black cats go'ne bust for me,
aint no cats go'ne shed love for me,
but ma thug is go'ne be a thug wit me.

Woah, Celph Titled's joined KMC and gone gangsta, nigga eek!

Quiero Mota
Hey people, wuss wrong with saying "nigga", it just means "dude" or "ese". Hey Magee, I think thass a tyte rhyme, homes. All you need is a bassy West coast beat, and that would be some good cruzing shit, ese!

JacopeX
Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Hey people, wuss wrong with saying "nigga", it just means "dude" or "ese". Hey Magee, I think thass a tyte rhyme, homes. All you need is a bassy West coast beat, and that would be some good cruzing shit, ese!

nah homes not ese its bato.

Phat J
it took me way too long to understand that.

who cares what slang he uses, theres no "right" way to say it.

JacopeX
Well, its the persons desicion to talk how they want. Some guy talk to me in chineese, i wuz alright wit it. Im speakin ghetto and you make it a big deal.

Phat J
laughing

im not even gonna argue with you

Quiero Mota
Originally posted by Phat J
who cares what slang he uses, theres no "right" way to say it.

Yes there is. If you use the wrong slang word in the wrong context and direct it at the wrong person, you can get your ass kicked, homes.

JacopeX
hell yea. If you use the n word in a racist way for example but if you use nigga, thats iight homes.

Phat J
Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Yes there is. If you use the wrong slang word in the wrong context and direct it at the wrong person, you can get your ass kicked, homes.

agreed


Originally posted by JacopeX
hell yea. If you use the n word in a racist way for example but if you use nigga, thats iight homes.

if a white guy says nigga, even if hes saying it in a friendly way, would get his ass kicked. its funny when it happens tho.

JacopeX
No not reall. I know an asian guy who use that word and never gets his assed kick homie. I know white people who use the word and they dont get there ass kicked eighther. Anyone can use it but not in the bad way iight

Phat J
well ive seen black dudes get pissed right off and knock white guys out for saying it jokingly iight homes

JacopeX
you dont know

Phat J
how can you sit there and tell what i know, you stupid ****.

i saw this first hand, maybe it was cuz he was having a bad day and that set it off, who knows. your really annoying dude, you were funny vefore, but now your jsut ****in annoying.

JacopeX
Nah you annoying as ****. ITs so crazy. I feel like gwetting a metal pipe and smashing it ova ya head ova and ova

Phat J
have you noticed that every single person in the forum feels the same way you do about me, about you?

well if you havent, im going to spell it out for you.

GO FIND A NEW FORUM TO PRETEND TO BE A GANGSTA IN

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
hell yea. If you use the n word in a racist way for example but if you use nigga, thats iight homes. you're ****ing stupid. there's nothing else left to say.

JacopeX
**** you

-hh-
Originally posted by JacopeX
**** you four stars to you too

laughing

Phat J
laughing

***** 5 for me

-hh-
Originally posted by Phat J
laughing

***** 5 for me laughing

Darth Revan

Pointinel
^aye fam... youre black right?

you dont say nigga?

Darth Revan
Originally posted by Pointinel
^aye fam... youre black right?

you dont say nigga?

Me? No. But I know a number of black people who don't say it.

Spike Lee, for example, who did a movie about it, like I said. And Chuck D... cool

Quiero Mota
Originally posted by Darth Revan
It's really not the same as saying "dude" or "ese" at all.

Yes it is, it's a term of endearment/freindly familiarity amoung friends. Watch the Academy Award winning movie "Training Day" and you'll understand.

So you know some black dudes who dont say "nigga" huh? Well if they're in their 60's or went to Harvard, then yes I beleive you.

DiamondBullets
Originally posted by Darth Revan
Me? No. But I know a number of black people who don't say it.

Spike Lee, for example, who did a movie about it, like I said. And Chuck D... cool

I'm half Black and Hawaiian, and I use it all the time, especially when I'm chillin' wit my niggaz. Not a big deal. Those brutha's you know who don't be throwin' our vocab must be a bucha Uncle Tom's who listen to John Tesh....

Pointinel
Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Yes it is, it's a term of endearment/freindly familiarity amoung friends. Watch the Academy Award winning movie "Training Day" and you'll understand.

So you know some black dudes who dont say "nigga" huh? Well if they're in their 60's or went to Harvard, then yes I beleive you.

^REAL TALK

and @ darth Revan

you aint black? so okay..

JacopeX
Dosent matter what race you are.

Heres examples of how to use the word "nigga"

"Yo, Wut up ma Nigga"

"Nah, Nigga I dont owe shit to no one"

"yo this nigga said that he a crip"

And any one from any race can use it. I got proof. Got to my school and everyone uses the word iight.

JacopeX
Originally posted by Quiero Mota
Yes it is, it's a term of endearment/freindly familiarity amoung friends. Watch the Academy Award winning movie "Training Day" and you'll understand.

So you know some black dudes who dont say "nigga" huh? Well if they're in their 60's or went to Harvard, then yes I beleive you.

Nah actually i got a friend thats 63 and he uses the word nigga and he black.

Yea to me its kinda weird when black people dont use the word. But still if you use the word nigga, it aint racist but if you use it like this...Wait i dont want to spell it cuz i might be offensive.

koolruningz
Man dont be ignorant, im black and i dont use the word. Its my choice and it doesnt bother me if people do, but dont write off brothers who dont use the word as Uncle Toms and old people. Thats just shallow.

JacopeX
I dont know how to explain me speaking my point and not being racist. I dont know how to explain myself.

Phat J
^^^ no kidding

koolruningz
Originally posted by JacopeX
I dont know how to explain me speaking my point and not being racist. I dont know how to explain myself.

To be honest i have trouble understanding you most of the time anyway, so it would just be business as usual in that respect.

JacopeX
ok

Phat J
that pic of j-live in your sig is cool...kool thumb up

koolruningz
Thanks man, its on the inside of the All of the above album. He's sitting in a classroom which relates back to his career as a teacher.

Phat J
thats sweet, somethins screwed up with my sig and avatar thing, it wont let me add any images, no matter what i find.

koolruningz
Maybe you accidentally ticked some boxes you shouldnt have in your user CP.

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by Pointinel
^aye fam... youre black right?

you dont say nigga?

I'm black and I say it like everyday

-hh-
i can't imagine using the word "nigga" amongst my friends. even my African American friends dont use the word.

koolruningz
Apparently they along with me are in the minority, ironic isnt it?

Inspectah Deck
angel

koolruningz
Random again Deck?

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by koolruningz
Random again Deck?

Yep, lol

koolruningz
It works well for you.

Inspectah Deck
Why do you say that?

koolruningz
Some people just cant pull it off, you on the other hand make it look easy.

Pointinel
same 4 me...

its cool if niggas dont use "nigga" in every sentence, im alright with that. it doesnt mean theyre not black enough or anything.

but 4 me using that word is just like a term ot endearment, its something that reminds me of the past and how hard my people worked to achieve what we have right now. if i say it to a black person i say it with the utmost respect.. just like saying wassup bro or wassup fam...

koolruningz
One thing i cant understand is, if its a term of endearment why do brothers get so bent out of shape when white people use it in the same way? Aren't they just saying "what up bro"?
Both ways sound the same to me they may look different when you write them down but we are talking about the spoken word here.
I have lots of other ways to address my brothers anyway, its funny that some people think that brothers are not black enough because they DONT call each other nigga (how the world changes). I know you said you dont mind Point, that wasnt directed at you.

Deathblow
My brother's mixed race, and he says it all the time, so I've kind of been numbed to it's effect. People used to look at me funny when I said it back to him, but honestly I can't see the harm in it as long as it's not being used derogatively (but it very rarely is nowadays).

Like kool said, words change. In England the word ''bugger'' used to be a really, really coarse synonym of homosexual, now lame old school teachers say it when they drop a textbook on the floor. Point is, anyone who still gets offended by the word nigga when used in this context is just old-fashioned. My opinion anyway. As for the over use issue, if it's how people talk, then it's how people talk.

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by koolruningz
Some people just cant pull it off, you on the other hand make it look easy.

I was trained well yes

koolruningz
Originally posted by Inspectah Deck
I was trained well yes

Shaolin style?

koolruningz
Originally posted by Deathblow
My brother's mixed race, and he says it all the time, so I've kind of been numbed to it's effect. People used to look at me funny when I said it back to him, but honestly I can't see the harm in it as long as it's not being used derogatively (but it very rarely is nowadays).

That exactly my point DB. If its such a non offensive word to use nowadays then why do brothers continually tell white people that they cant use it? Is it just a non offensive word that only black people can use?

Pointinel
Originally posted by koolruningz
That exactly my point DB. If its such a non offensive word to use nowadays then why do brothers continually tell white people that they cant use it? Is it just a non offensive word that only black people can use?

^one reason...

and im not being racist or anything... but because theyre white. they used it to humiliate and belittle the black man. but "we," flipped the script on them and used it as a term of endearment and as a REMINDER.

one

-hh-
Originally posted by Pointinel
^one reason...

and im not being racist or anything... but because theyre white. they used it to humiliate and belittle the black man. but "we," flipped the script on them and used it as a term of endearment and as a REMINDER.

one now i can relate this to the Armenian genocide. when the Turks killed my ancestors, they had names for us, but they dont use it anymore (i know this cuz my friend is Turkish).

i still think even mentioning the word "******" is wrong...excluding literature.

koolruningz
Originally posted by Pointinel
^one reason...

and im not being racist or anything... but because theyre white. they used it to humiliate and belittle the black man. but "we," flipped the script on them and used it as a term of endearment and as a REMINDER.

one

I'm not talking about Cletus from Mississippi who uses it as a derogatory term. I mean the white hip hop lovers who may want to use it as a term of endearment just like some brothers do, why cant they use it? Whats the difference if its not an insult anymore?

Dr. Strangelove
Yeah and those white kids had nothing to do with slavery or racism. To me there's two kinds of N words. One ends with an "A", one ends with a "R". The "R" one is the definite no no. Saying that, I don't say either. I find with different people you get different results saying it and even the ones who say it to each other will still go ape shit if you say it, even in a no-harm way.

Inspectah Deck
Originally posted by koolruningz
Shaolin style?

yes

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