Name the superheroes who could duplicate Jesus' miracles.

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long pig
Of all the non-cosmic superheroes on earth, which ones could duplicate every single one of Jesus' miracles?

Here's the list.
Jesus had power over nature. Jesus exhibited power over nature when he turned water into wine, calmed the tempest, and walked on the sea (Jn. 2: 1-11; Mk. 4: 35-41; 6: 47-50).

Demonstrations of his power over the demon world. Jesus cured a demoniac (demon possessed person, Mk. 1: 23-27). He challenged and cured a violent demoniac and a demon possessed person who was both blind and dumb (Mk. 5: 1-13, Matt. 12: 22, 23).

Jesus displayed miraculous power over the material realm. Jesus manifestly displayed miraculous ability over the material in the feeding of the five thousand (Mk. 6: 37-44).

Jesus was triumphant over physical diseases and infirmities. Jesus healed the mother of Peter's wife of a physical abnormality (Mk. 1: 30, 31). Jesus healed "every sickness and every disease among the people" (Matt. 9: 35). He even restored sight to the blind (Matt. 9: 27-31).

Jesus demonstrated his power over death. Jesus raised Jairus' daughter, the widow's son, and Lazarus from the dead (Mk. 5: 22-24; 35-43; Lk. 7: 11-17; Jn. 11: 34-46).

Ultimate Rage
probably wolverine.....

long pig
No, I said name the characters who could duplicate Jesus, not name the guy who made jesus.

Ultimate Rage
Originally posted by long pig
No, I said name the characters who could duplicate Jesus, not name the guy who made jesus.


laughing laughing out loud

Dizzle
Originally posted by long pig
Of all the non-cosmic superheroes on earth, which ones could duplicate every single one of Jesus' miracles?

Here's the list.
Jesus had power over nature. Jesus exhibited power over nature when he turned water into wine, calmed the tempest, and walked on the sea (Jn. 2: 1-11; Mk. 4: 35-41; 6: 47-50).

Demonstrations of his power over the demon world. Jesus cured a demoniac (demon possessed person, Mk. 1: 23-27). He challenged and cured a violent demoniac and a demon possessed person who was both blind and dumb (Mk. 5: 1-13, Matt. 12: 22, 23).

Jesus displayed miraculous power over the material realm. Jesus manifestly displayed miraculous ability over the material in the feeding of the five thousand (Mk. 6: 37-44).

Jesus was triumphant over physical diseases and infirmities. Jesus healed the mother of Peter's wife of a physical abnormality (Mk. 1: 30, 31). Jesus healed "every sickness and every disease among the people" (Matt. 9: 35). He even restored sight to the blind (Matt. 9: 27-31).

Jesus demonstrated his power over death. Jesus raised Jairus' daughter, the widow's son, and Lazarus from the dead (Mk. 5: 22-24; 35-43; Lk. 7: 11-17; Jn. 11: 34-46).

Wouldn't water to wine fit into the reality control more than the power over nature?

And Jesus also predicted his own death. He's pretty freaking omniscient.

There's some better biblical feats than Jesus's though. One prophet, who was getting laughed at by a bunch of teenagers because of his baldness, decided to curse them in the name of the Lord. Immediately, two bears came from a nearby forest and killed something like 24 of the teenagers. The Bible is freaking hilarious.

Just because of the resurrection stuff, not very many poeple could. It'd take upper level cosmics, like Phoenix or something. Barring those feats, it would take telepathy, matter manipulation, weather powers... Still probably no one below herald level. Thanos could do a lot of it, but he would never, EVER feed 5000 people, if he can help it.

Scoobless
He also took down the entire Greek Pantheon:

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5774/godysseypage15az.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/2914/godysseypage27pz.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/5414/godysseypage39ex.th.jpg

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6389/godysseypages4and57rw.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3881/godysseypage69en.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/8461/godysseypage74lz.th.jpg

cool

Piedmon
Holy shit.....

I am in awe. AWE.

Dizzle
Originally posted by Scoobless
He also took down the entire Greek Pantheon:

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5774/godysseypage15az.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/2914/godysseypage27pz.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/5414/godysseypage39ex.th.jpg

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6389/godysseypages4and57rw.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3881/godysseypage69en.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/8461/godysseypage74lz.th.jpg

cool

Now, you have to wonder just how many actual, serious Christians would be seriously offended by this... Jesus didn't need to get resurrected. He jumped off the cross, healed himself, and went apeshit on Zeus. It's like a freaking Chuck Norris story. I'd go as far as to say that this is pretty close to a bastardization of the Bible... This story being both inaccurate and purpose-defeating. Jesus was a human, in every aspect. He could get God to do some pretty sweet stuff for him, but he himself was human. That's the whole POINT of Jesus. Honestly!

Taken lightly, that's pretty freaking hilarious though. Jesus is hardcore.

Piedmon
"I can't stand here and let them mock my Lord like this! I've--I've got to DO something!"

"Danny, there's.... nothing you can do."

"Then.... I guess I'll just have to grow a sense of humor." =O

Dizzle
Originally posted by Piedmon
"I can't stand here and let them mock my Lord like this! I've--I've got to DO something!"

"Danny, there's.... nothing you can do."

"Then.... I guess I'll just have to grow a sense of humor." =O

There's a specific line between humor and bad taste. If you walked through Mecca with a sign that said "Allah is a terrorist", would many people think you're funny?

Piedmon
No, now if I walked through with a sign that said

"Allah want's is a decent pulled pork sandwhich!"

That'd be hilairious.

Dizzle
Originally posted by Piedmon
No, now if I walked through with a sign that said

"Allah want's is a decent pulled pork sandwhich!"

That'd be hilairious.

To some, it would be. Someone would still probably try to kill you if you walked through Mecca. I wasn't trying to be whiny about them getting the Bible wrong, I'm just saying that mocking religion is a line that one should not cross, even with the excuse of it "just being for fun". It's disrespectful, on par with the harshest of insults. Like calling some dude's mom a cheap whore.

abcdguy
Yeh i agree ull probably die. Stoned to death or somthing...not a pleasant way to go i think.

Next Venom_girl
Originally posted by Scoobless
He also took down the entire Greek Pantheon:

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5774/godysseypage15az.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/2914/godysseypage27pz.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/5414/godysseypage39ex.th.jpg

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6389/godysseypages4and57rw.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3881/godysseypage69en.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/8461/godysseypage74lz.th.jpg

cool
Mel Gibson?

Piedmon
Originally posted by Dizzle
To some, it would be. Someone would still probably try to kill you if you walked through Mecca. I wasn't trying to be whiny about them getting the Bible wrong, I'm just saying that mocking religion is a line that one should not cross, even with the excuse of it "just being for fun". It's disrespectful, on par with the harshest of insults. Like calling some dude's mom a cheap whore.

What, you've never made a "last night with your ma!" crack? What do you do in those long, akward spaces between hello and goodbye?

Quite frankly, God is a big boy now and he ought to be able to take a fair ribbing from the hired help. People who can't tolerate the slightest poking at their "faith" are actually showing a lack of confidence, as if jokes like these could somehow damage God or something. And if he violates the tenets of his own faith in his response, then he's overcompensative AND a hypocritical prick.

And lastly, if his faith involves stoning someone to death for cracking a joke, then **** his faith and **** him, his religion isn't worth taking seriously.

Swanky-Tuna
I think high level telekinetics could do most of that. Except raising the dead. Surfer could surely pull them all off. Green Lanterns... hmm...

Creshosk
Dr. Strange?
Originally posted by Piedmon
"I can't stand here and let them mock my Lord like this! I've--I've got to DO something!"

"Danny, there's.... nothing you can do."

"Then.... I guess I'll just have to grow a sense of humor." =O Family Guy. big grin

Piedmon
You know it.

Maestro
Nate grey

willRules
I am a Christian and I find the pictures slightly offensive. Anyone else who is a christian and reads this thread may be offended and I have every right to report you. I won't but I hope this thread stops or I will do so.

Khellendros
I'm a Christian, and I think I was the one who posted those Jesus vs Greek Pantheon pics around here.

Blair Wind
Originally posted by Dizzle
Now, you have to wonder just how many actual, serious Christians would be seriously offended by this... Jesus didn't need to get resurrected. He jumped off the cross, healed himself, and went apeshit on Zeus. It's like a freaking Chuck Norris story. I'd go as far as to say that this is pretty close to a bastardization of the Bible... This story being both inaccurate and purpose-defeating. Jesus was a human, in every aspect. He could get God to do some pretty sweet stuff for him, but he himself was human. That's the whole POINT of Jesus. Honestly!

Taken lightly, that's pretty freaking hilarious though. Jesus is hardcore.

The whole point of Jesus is that he God turned flesh...he was God in human form, not just human form and thats its....Jesus was human in every aspect but one....he never sinned

LethalFemme
I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed.......cry

long pig
Originally posted by LethalFemme
I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed.......cry
I've sinned with your body, too. embarrasment

long pig
So, all I've come up with is:

Surfer
Shaman
Strange
MAYBE Thor
Classic Wanda.

Ultimate Hulk43
Originally posted by LethalFemme
I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed.......cry

Now now,dear.It'll all be okay. smile

Ultimate Hulk43
Originally posted by long pig
I've sinned with your body, too. embarrasment

Dude,that's sick! mad

Ultimate Hulk43
Originally posted by long pig
So, all I've come up with is:

Surfer
Shaman
Strange
MAYBE Thor
Classic Wanda.


You're forgetting Superman Prime,he had resurrection powers.But wait,you hate Superman!

Creshosk
Originally posted by Ultimate Hulk43
You're forgetting Superman Prime,he had resurrection powers.But wait,you hate Superman! That's debateable actually. . .since the dialouge refers to superman of the 5th dimension.

long pig
Originally posted by Ultimate Hulk43
You're forgetting Superman Prime,he had resurrection powers.But wait,you hate Superman!
Nice Ad Hominem there, buddy.

LethalFemme
Originally posted by long pig
I've sinned with your body, too. embarrasment


eek! when?

long pig
You were asleep, you didn't notice a thing.

LethalFemme
Originally posted by long pig
You were asleep, you didn't notice a thing.

eek! is that a good thing to admit? laughing out loud

long pig
P to the E to the N to the E to the T to the R to the A to the T to the I to the O to the N.

Khellendros
Originally posted by LethalFemme
I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed.......cry
Oh my good good God... Heaven forgive me, for I have sinned.




























In my pants.




>_> I am SUCH a bad person.

Piedmon
Originally posted by LethalFemme
I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed.......cry

Hey-hey-hey, thanks for sharing. (0_0)b

(OK, I just wanted an excuse to debut that smiley. I guess truly, none are innocent.)

Scoobless
Originally posted by Khellendros
I'm a Christian, and I think I was the one who posted those Jesus vs Greek Pantheon pics around here.

I took them from another internet site.... didn't know they'd been here before

willRules
Originally posted by long pig
Of all the non-cosmic superheroes on earth, which ones could duplicate every single one of Jesus' miracles?

Here's the list.
Jesus had power over nature. Jesus exhibited power over nature when he turned water into wine, calmed the tempest, and walked on the sea (Jn. 2: 1-11; Mk. 4: 35-41; 6: 47-50).

Demonstrations of his power over the demon world. Jesus cured a demoniac (demon possessed person, Mk. 1: 23-27). He challenged and cured a violent demoniac and a demon possessed person who was both blind and dumb (Mk. 5: 1-13, Matt. 12: 22, 23).

Jesus displayed miraculous power over the material realm. Jesus manifestly displayed miraculous ability over the material in the feeding of the five thousand (Mk. 6: 37-44).

Jesus was triumphant over physical diseases and infirmities. Jesus healed the mother of Peter's wife of a physical abnormality (Mk. 1: 30, 31). Jesus healed "every sickness and every disease among the people" (Matt. 9: 35). He even restored sight to the blind (Matt. 9: 27-31).

Jesus demonstrated his power over death. Jesus raised Jairus' daughter, the widow's son, and Lazarus from the dead (Mk. 5: 22-24; 35-43; Lk. 7: 11-17; Jn. 11: 34-46).


Are you people thick or summat? The idea of Jesus is what he represents. If he was living in the time of mutants and marvels, he would perform feats considered astounding by their standards. Nobody can replace that.

Scoobless
Originally posted by willRules
Are you people thick or summat? The idea of Jesus is what he represents. If he was living in the time of mutants and marvels, he would perform feats considered astounding by their standards. Nobody can replace that.

not even David Blaine? confused

Ultimate Hulk43
Originally posted by Creshosk
That's debateable actually. . .since the dialouge refers to superman of the 5th dimension.


Still,it's Superman right?

Ultimate Hulk43
Originally posted by long pig
You were asleep, you didn't notice a thing.


Rrrrrrriiiiiight.2guns

hotsauce6548
Originally posted by Next Venom_girl
Mel Gibson?

laughing

LethalFemme
Originally posted by long pig
P to the E to the N to the E to the T to the R to the A to the T to the I to the O to the N.


you should have woke me sad

bartleby
Im a Christian ( or at least i used to be). I hate when people have a hissy fit about jokes on the catholic religion. Catholics, especially in America moreso than anywhere else(not slagging anyone off but it is genmerally acceted to be true), are way too uptight about this kinda stuff. It is funny and it is not blasphemus or insulting and i dont see how it can be considered that way. I suppose your the kinda person who found the film Dogma insulting and all and someone who freaked out about the Da Vinci Code.

bartleby
never mind last post, dont know what i did there for that to end up here

grey fox
Jesus kicks ass.......

Wild Cowboy
Indeed he does !!!

demigawd
As a Olympian Polytheist, I'm shocked and offended by the crude portrayal of my Gods, and I demand they be taken off this site at once!

Ultimate Rage
Originally posted by demigawd
As a Olympian Polytheist, I'm shocked and offended by the crude portrayal of my Gods, and I demand they be taken off this site at once!

laughing laughing this is honestly one of the funniest things i have heard here laughing out loud Ares will have his vengeance!!! evil face

DarkCrawler
Originally posted by demigawd
As a Olympian Polytheist, I'm shocked and offended by the crude portrayal of my Gods, and I demand they be taken off this site at once! http://images.killermovies.com/forums/moresmilies/hysterical.gif

Avalonofthewind
Originally posted by Scoobless
He also took down the entire Greek Pantheon:

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/5774/godysseypage15az.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/2914/godysseypage27pz.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/5414/godysseypage39ex.th.jpg

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6389/godysseypages4and57rw.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/3881/godysseypage69en.th.jpghttp://img525.imageshack.us/img525/8461/godysseypage74lz.th.jpg

cool

laughing WOW. Now I've seen everything. How long now before the Vs. Jesus threads show up...

jeffrodini
Personally, I'm a Christian, and I'm actually at a Bible College to be a missionary with the Assemblies of God. I've got to say, the comic strip where Jesus gets off the cross and beats down the Greek "gods" is awesome, and somewhat Biblically correct. Especially if you believe that the Greek gods were in a spiritual sense, demonic, because what was the cross, but God's ultimate smackdown laid upon the devil?

I dunno, I just really thought it was good. Of course, I don't know the complete context or what happened afterwards in this comic book, but man.... that was good stuff that I saw.

Later, God bless.

Scoobless
you have to admit that Zues and Co were asking for it though.....

DigiMark007
The Doctor.

In the Authority comics, one of The D's past incarnations was Jesus. Within the Wildstorm continuity, every major founder of a religion (Mohammad, Jesus, the Buddha, etc.) was an incarnation of The Doctor....though they didn't always know it.

Scoobless
Originally posted by DigiMark007
The Doctor.

In the Authority comics, one of The D's past incarnations was Jesus. Within the Wildstorm continuity, every major founder of a religion (Mohammad, Jesus, the Buddha, etc.) was an incarnation of The Doctor....though they didn't always know it.

and then the Junkie Doctor started his own religion.... smile

manjaro
majestic, he can do anything

grey fox
Originally posted by Scoobless
you have to admit that Zues and Co were asking for it though.....

indeed they were, personaly i would have turned their punk asses to salt and leave it at that.....

olympian
"I have sinned........many, many times before.............it was mainly with my body........I'm so ashamed......."

And you will continue to do so huh wink


"As a Olympian Polytheist, I'm shocked and offended by the crude portrayal of my Gods, and I demand they be taken off this site at once!"

Haha gold!

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