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Tonight I have to go to my college graduation ceremony and wear the silly cap and gown thing. I bet I make an arse of myself by falling down the stairs or something.

I hid the invite letter from Mrs.MM but she found it and said I have to go. The closer it gets the more nervous I become.

No problem Mech- let me help you out.

First of all, do 3 shots of whiskey. And make sure you pee right before you go. Imagine everyone else is there in their underwear.

Now, I'm going to use the mind trick on you.

*you will go to graduation, everything will go smoothly and you will be a handsome model of athletic grace, pride and maturity*

ouch, if you give him a bottle of whiskey just before the ceremony I doubt he will stop with 3 shots

get shitfaced Mech, and then you piss in your neighbour`s mailbox

Congratulations to Mech for commencing commencement!

I've kept it a secret from the rest of my family and my friends, the last thing I need is a bunch of thugs turning up and "whooping" at me as I go up............and imagine what my friends would have done if they'd turned up.

I have a nightmare where they call my name, I go up smiling and waving.......then I trip on the 1st step up to the podium and smash out my two front teeth. All my graduation pictures show me with gappy teeth and blood all down my chin.

and then you piss in the mailbox

At this stage, I'm not gonna rule anything out.

finally you can reveal yourself to your neighbour, finally you will have your revenge

I suppose you could say, "I'm gonna rain on his copy of Parade".

(Do you get Parade magazine over there?)

Parade comes with the sunday paper.

Piss in the mailbox. hehehe. finti, I forgot about that.

was over there meant for the yanks or for us extremly brave and cool Norwegians across the very rich North Sea

Why you Finti.

Parade is errr....... a jazz mag, for want of a better description.

you mean a Tw&t mag, don't you mech?

Ooops. Wrong parade then.

depends on your point if view!

outside
why?

yerss, I'm going to shoot a hole in that rubber duck you're sitting on and you're gonna go down like the titanic.

Iceberg right ahead.

Will the rubber ducky snap in half like the Titanic?

And will Leonardo DiCaprio freeze to death?

Leo is on the rubber ducky with Yerssot?

They have something to tell us.

That the water is damn cold.

he is???
*kicks DiCaprio off*
burn in hell!
... I mean... freeze!!!

*reaches for rubber ducky*

now now play nice

you don't like swimming K?

What does swimming have to do with playing nice?

swimming gets me wet. how do I swim and stay dry?

Keo I wouldn't say stuff like that in public anymore.

keo lives in Hawaii. I'm sure she swims a lot.

Okay the ceremony went fine and I didn't trip up or anything, the problem is I've got another one shortly and thats scaring me now!

The chap handing out the ribboned certificates was a Dr. and he was wearing a real outrageous gown and floppy hat, I was tempted to shake his hand and say, "...its such a pleasure to meet the Lord Mayor...", but I bottled it at the last minute.

What's the next ceremony?

Last one was for my HNC and the next is for my HND.

But neither of these awards ceremony's scare me as much as starting Uni next Monday cus I'm joining half way through a course. It's like starting at a new school, everyone knows everyone else so I'm gonna be the "new kid" whipping boy.

Poor Mech. You need more self-confidence, bud.

*packages up ACME "self-confidence kit" for Mech*

contents:

1 clown gun
1 lightsabre
1 package "instant results" steroids

Tee hee, thanks Gun.

No problemo.

Just be glad I wasn't in the audience. I would have jumped up and down yelling YIPPPEEEE !!

MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT THOUGH Did you piss in the mailbox

Lets hope not.

Glad it went ok Mech.

Which uni are you going to?

UCE (University of Central England)

Looks like I won't be starting till 24th now instead of tomorrow, Mrs.MM needs my car cus she's got an exam in the afternoon. Not that I needed much of an excuse to bottle out of my first day though, to be honest.

What about the mailbox Mech, filled it up yet???

don't bring him on ideas he might enjoy later

what, worried about crap mail Yers?

yes! all those precious stamps! you could make millions by collecting them and then selling them later on for a big profit!

I call this idea... "collecting stamps and then sell them for a big profit"

pretty neat huh?

stamps, hopefully not of a king. Must suck to lick somebodys ass

depends on the errr.... lime that is on the stamp

limeys

The US post office wants to charge people for e mail. Thats communism.

*opens door*
*runs in dressed entirely in grey*
*screams while running in circles*
COMMUNISM RULEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!
*runs back outside*

why communism?

cause the postal colors are red

The post office shouldn't be able to control e-mail. They have nothing to do with it !!

it is plain stupid, they are loosing the competition and cant handle it

Exactly. And the fine art of letter-writing has been dying for years. Not like e-mail is slaughtering it all of a sudden.

but are they able to control things like hotmail?

they will find a way

Nah, they'll never be able to pull it off.

Finti, I have yet to urinate in my neighbours letterbox. When I do, "do the deed", you'll be the 1st to know.

and the only, I hope

don't worry, mech can't aim THAT far... I hope

mech is just trying to gross us out.

I wouldn't piss in the mailbox of anyone bigger than you, Mech.

his size doesnt matter

blue milk? blue pills?

groatty

saucy mail

peEMail

from Mech of course

I though pissing in mailboxes was illegal in England.

not if you stand on your own ground

I'll need verification from the prime minister.

well he must just finish pissing into the Prince Charles mailbox first

They only fine you in America if you pee in public.

so pissing on the crowd would do

If I make a complex funnel and hose system, I should be able to pee from the safety and luxary of my own home straight into his letter box without fear of retribution or arrest.

and if they figure out your method, nice men in white will come to your door

Don't you think its a little weird that you are willing to go to that much trouble to pee on a mailbox.

And they're not cheap, I can tell you that!

mech is wanting to mark his territory.

now, yersssssss, how would you know that men in white are not cheap?

after the daily pill-delivery... no idea...

they have special rates for special customers

am I not special enough for them?

I think you're maybe a little too special.

Yup, he's our lovable "Special-Needs-Yerss".

Mech, how the hell do you pee when you're in that straightjacket ?

Oh come on Gundy, you've seen me get my underpants off whilst still wearing my trousers.

Happy to say I went to my 1st Uni class yesterday afternoon and it wasn't at all bad. Also went to my last Tuesday night college class tonight too, only Thursday night to go and I'm free!! (kinda)

That calls for another Whiskey Thursday celebration !!

Well its only Tuesday........but to hell with tradition, I'll go get my South Park shot glasses.

Budweiser Tuesday!

Too late. There goes Mech...off to piss in the neighbor's mailbox.

Mech, put Jr. back in your pants and get off of my mailbox!

maybe he fancy your mailbox LE147

fnarr, fnarr

the mating call of an Englisman

I want to hear the mating call of a Norseman.

fnarr is a mating call? Remind me never to get involved with an Englishman.

*writes note to remind Lauren*

No problem.

norse man`s mating call.
Hey gorgeous come over here and......

*takes priceless opportunity and knees finti in the crotch who doubles over on the floor in pain*

*applaudes*

I`m wearing steel underwear so it must be her knwee hurting.
and I saw that clapping queeq.

No you weren't!

I saw the reflection of him in your eyes...

Steel underwear....hmm....must tell Mech about this one.

Wouldn't steel underwear be enormously uncomfortable? Almost as bad as a thong. Yuck.

never wore a thong so I wouldnt know

A new super hero - "My 'nads are like balls of steel".

and his name the punishing Ball Bouncer

As you are all aware, I don't wear any undies so steel ones would be hell!

Lauren, its compulsary over here that chicks wear thongs, big pants are just not allowed. They offend our Queen.

do it for the stars and stripes, never for a queen

I wear thongs. They're cotton, so they're actually very comfortable.



I can't believe I'm posting this.

queeq wears thongs too

I can't believe you're posting it either, but thanks.

perv

He's a gutter brain. Belongs here for sure.

Yup, Gundy and I wear his-and-hers thongs. Aren't we totally romantic?

Now that's just a little tinsy winsy bit too much information for my liking.

There's much more where that came from.

*puts hands over ears*

I'm not listening, I'm not listening, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Watch the DVD then.

*barf bags alert*

I gave up trying to control queeq's entertainment distribution division.

So I froze all his assets instead.

you froze his brain

Now thats surprising. You considerer queeq's brain one of his assets ??

not really

Thought you better back up on that one.

Anyway, I have full control of all his money now. Want some ?

Euro sucks

I had it converted to Visa Cards.

thongs go up your butt. I keep wanting to take it out but they won't move cause they're supposed to do that.

Well I don't know what to say about that Lauren, except that nothing upsets me more than seeing a big-knicker panty line through a chicks trousers/skirt. Sorry, but thats just the way I am (and I'm pretty sure most blokes feel the same too).

No panty lines. I'm very particular about that sort of thing.

Fashion before comfort !!

See, Gundy knows whats what.

Now how about this.

Do guys like a black bra under a white shirt ?

Can't say it bothers me much. Surely it should be a white bra though eh?

How about guys who show a good 2" of arse cleavage when they bend over, I hate seeing that. *Shudders*

Over here we call those guys plumbers.

Some guys like the black bra under the white shirt but I think it looks terrible.

we call them plumbers too
black bra under white shirt, bad taste

Exactly.

And no bra straps showing either.

I don't like panty lines either. That's why I bought the evil thong in the first place.
And I hate to have my bra showing. And according to seventeen magazine the only way you can show your bra strap is if its a pretty bra strap. They make bras with rinestone and striped straps.

I just go with the strapless if I have to.

then your, well you know, shows

My tan line ?

YUMMY!

*smacks forehead*

Why did I say that ????

Because you love me.

Barf, goes the girl after the divorce is unfiled

interesting thread really...what was the original topic?...never mind, not interested in that, *keeps reading the last pages*

and this one is still open??