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nice start

thx im posting more now

well gud so far plz carry on

You're a good writer, but it seems a bit rushed.

Perhaps you could Italic-ize when someone's writing a letter.

I like it so far though.

yeah i know i couldnt get the stupid thing to italiscize or whatever. lol. as for the rushed, im trying to get over it. thx for the critiscim

ya kinda fast....maybe longer chapters would be better?

oh im not done with the chapter, i post a little bit of each chapter and different times. I'm not making him leave yet, he's going to have some trouble getting out of the house first. I know i need to slow down, thats probably one of my mistakes. Thanks

whoa, how come you didnt finish or anything? :cry: