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You may have read my last attempt at this story, and honestly, it was pathetic. but now i'm trying again, this time paying attention to what people actually sound like. Please help me with constructive critiscsim, though if it is horrible and i should throw it off of a cliff, you might want to tell me. Also, this is a fantasy with a bit of sci/fi story, so if you don't like fantasy, i suggest you get out Well, here I am, trying again, hope you like.

does anyone want me to continue? or should i stop?

ok i guess i should just give up

I like it! It's like mysterious and kinda cool. Keep it up!

thx, ill post s'more then. The point of view changes from the three teenagers to the main character, Adriana, thirteen years old...