The Shadow Wars: The Beginning

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cole2005
For over a thousand years a war has enraged. In forgotten lands forgotten people have battled. The ways of the light and dark have come to head and now the feud must be settled. The prophecy has spoken....
Thats my introduction to the story, people think it a good idea?

cole2005
There are few who can say they saw the war begin. I have lived through over 19 centuries of fighting. It is only now that the true story will come to the front.
They used to fight in huge battles, large areas of land would disappear overnight. They have since moved behind the curtain, they fight but cannot be seen, they scream but will never be heard. My name is Euthanias. I was born 2000 years ago, into a family of slaves. I was born into the blood of light. Our masters were people of dark. At the beginning they ruled us. They were born into the world with the corruption of Adam and Eve. In the Garden of Eve, the two of them bore children these were spared the wrath of God when he sent Adam and Eve into exile. Once in exile they had more children, these were raised away from the light, they were born into darkness. Slowly the world began to change, it became more and more populated. The people of dark were far superior, they were tougher they knew more than us at the beginning. Of course the early ancestors knew nothing of the difference between us. Outside Eden no light was ever present, inside Eden no dark. Slowly Gods presence on Earth dimnished and the truth began to emerge. The people of dark could not survive in the light. They had to use the shadows to move in the day. With the world so sparsely populated at the beginning people began to realise they couldn't die naturally, they would grow old at a very slow rate. The original Adam and Eve live today, although there whereabouts is unknown. You ask how I know this? Its my job to know this I am the keeper of light.

lordzeb
This is a very very good start. I think it was a strong beginning, and if you keep at it, this will become a great story.

I don't think that first person is a wise choice to go with a story, i learned from the hard way, but if you think you can do it, good luck with you on that.

my advice, if your going to talk about religion, i would try not to go too far in depth with it if you are trying to get people interested in your story. if you do talk about religion a litlte, try to explain the things that are mentioned. I myself know nothing on religion, so i don't know what you meant by Adam and Eve sent into exile.

other than that it's a great start, and i think it's going to be a great story. keep up the good work big grin

cole2005
ok thanks i wasnt gona write in first person bcause its way to hard, when it gets properly started it will change to an omniscient narrator, this is just the person introducing what has happened coz if i started straight off it would make no sense

lordzeb
ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
that's a good idea big grin

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