The Elemental Blades

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(Pleas note before you read below
1.I am not a author
2.I plan to be a writer someday
3.I plan to make this a series
4.I have written a couple others that i have finished, and dont plan to)

The Flame Blade

chapter 1

It was a sunny day full of adventure, when Brock walked the path to the medow. Mother had just told him he had to go to the stream to bath. Mabye after the swim mother will let me ride gunny. He wondered. Gunny was the horse that had been in his famliy since Brock was born. Then agian Brock was only 17 and very smart for his age. In his home town of Gnar Mok Brock lived with his mother and 3 sisters. Ibis, the other two were twins by the names of Yucci and Rucci.
His mother was a very kind lady who traded horses and livestock. Brocks father had been gone for as long as he could remember. Mother had never said what he used to do for a living. Brocks town was borded by a river on one side and the moutians on the other. The only way to get out was a small pass that led to the ocean, and the trading town of Korji. Brock had never been farther than that, nor has he wished to. He had his eye on a very beautiful girl who was 2 years older than him. Her name was Ninia.
Anyway back to the story. As the sun began to set he dried off and put his clothes on to begin his journey home. As he approuched the village he saw a rider moving closer to him. The rider was mounted on a horse of black, his muscles showing through his name, buldging. The rider was dressed in solid black and holding his sword. The sword was black and curved like a samari's.
Brock turned around just fast to see the stone flying right at his face........blackness.......

Brock awakened suddenly with a man staring down at him. The man looked mean and scruffy. " Since your only a boy you wont be working in the arena, so you wont need your boots." The man had an anger in his voice that immediately told Brock not to resist.

He loosens his shoes and notices the blade straped to his side.It was red like eternal fire. He felt a call to it. Like a burning sensation.

if u read this and want more tell me

Brock moves his hand to grab the blade and feels a hard object strike his temple, the last thing he saw before he fell back into unconsciousness was the sword.
He remembered a poem his mother sang to him as a child
There sits a man ontop of the hill
With blade in hand
He makes the kill
Though tired he struggles to save his land

He breaths and calms himself to a still
Still weary he fights the pain
He steadys again to make the kill
All his effort was not in vain

Suddenly he was jerked back to the real world. The man was no longer there. He also noticed his boots were still on his feet. Now he was in a bedroom. He could the owner must be loaded. The sheets on the bed were silk. He looked around a little closer and saw his lunch sitting on a table. He found himself very hungery, so he ate. It was a good meal, fruits, meats, bread and a pie. For drink he found a bottle of wine.

After eating Brock checked his door. Unlocked! What a stroke of luck. Brock slowly creeps down the hall. Even the hall here was beautiful, lite with torches, tapestries hung on the walls. Even a window, a window Brock thought, that means Ill be able to get out. As he approaches the window he wonders if the door was left unlocked on purpose. O well, whats the worst that could happen, he thinks. He glances out the window and find himself looking out into a giant courtyard. Men were sword fighting, peasants were scampering here and there. Monsterious horses were running.
After stareing at them for some time he decides to move on. He passes hundreds of doors till finally, some time later he sees a lady, not a lady Ninia!

Some please reply about what u think of story

Its alright, thought not my type of story. I don't usually read this kind of thing, but I like it. It just needs to flow more smothly, blend it in together. Oh, and stick to the same tense.

Thanks, I messed up the tense.

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.