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Ever hear a joke thats crap but you still find it funny?

One i heard was:

Whats red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry.



That cracks me up everytime.

That didnt to me

Exactly its just a crap that makes only you laugh while everyone else looks at you as though youve s**t yourself.

Why did Johny fall of his bike?
because someone hit him with a loaf bread

why didn't johny duck?
because johnys a refrigerator

Actually that did make me laugh a lot!

Originally posted by tabby999
Why did Johny fall of his bike?
because someone hit him with a loaf bread

why didn't johny duck?
because johnys a refrigerator

laughing laughing

oh man..those are so lame, but so funny^-^

Me qaqnd my friend were so heartbroken once when we didnt get the joke at the back of a chocolate button bag, we thought we so thick. I week later i figured out what it was... letss see who can get it first.

Who ate all the milk buttons?

Adam.

I don't get it.

Why did the Idiot burn his ear?

Because he was listening to the match!

How do you get an elephant in a car?

Open the door!

What do you call someone with to heads?

Dave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!!!111111111111111111111111111111oneoneoneoneo
ne!!!1

Ever saw that Documetary The Aristocrats?

Originally posted by Slay
Ever saw that Documetary The Aristocrats?

hysterical How do you come up with these jokes, pure genius.

Originally posted by Bloigen
hysterical How do you come up with these jokes, pure genius.

YEP!

Originally posted by Bloigen
hysterical How do you come up with these jokes, pure genius.
Seriously though,it has the most vile joke of all time in it...Just forgot how it goes...

Originally posted by Bloigen
I don't get it.

Who ate all the buttons? Adam!

Had 'em! Thats what it means... totally s**t i know

What orange and sounds like a Parrot?

A carrot!

A dustbin man comes to a house that doesnt have a dustbin out so he knocks on the door, a little chinese man answers.
"mate wheres your dustbin?"
he says: "ive dustbin on the toilet"
"no, mate WHERE IS YOUR DUSTBIN?"
He answers: "i really have just bin on the toilet?"
Annoyed"dude where is your WHEELY bin?"
chinese man- "hokay i tell u, i wheely bin having a wank!"

Originally posted by willman
A dustbin man comes to a house that doesnt have a dustbin out so he knocks on the door, a little chinese man answers.
"mate wheres your dustbin?"
he says: "ive dustbin on the toilet"
"no, mate WHERE IS YOUR DUSTBIN?"
He answers: "i really have just bin on the toilet?"
Annoyed"dude where is your WHEELY bin?"
chinese man- "hokay i tell u, i wheely bin having a wank!" classic!

Originally posted by Corran
classic!



Man goes into a shop and say's "Can I have a Bee please"
Shop keeper say's "We don't sell Bee's"
The man say's "Well there's one in your window"

Two goldfish are in a tank, one says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

Everytime you go down the magic slide and say what you want it appears.
A man goes down the slide and screams silver! And lands in a pile of silver.
A woman goes down the slide and screams Gold! and lands in a pile of gold.
Then another man goes down the slide and shouts Weeeeee!

Originally posted by Libertine
Ever hear a joke thats crap but you still find it funny?

One i heard was:

Whats red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry.



That cracks me up everytime.

remember that crappy joke on Conan...

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
because it felt crummy.


when Conan said that joke it was so hilarious

animal27

Originally posted by Yumcarrots
animal27

That rules.

Phil: Hey Louis! You know what?
Louis: No.
Phil: Me neither...

- Why do people have heads?
- So their necks won't get filled with water when it rains.

A pig kept staring at an outlet on the wall. After a while, he says:
"My god! This poor swine must have been stuck here for ages."

Originally posted by Libertine
Ever hear a joke thats crap but you still find it funny?

One i heard was:

Whats red and sits in the corner?
A naughty strawberry.



That cracks me up everytime.

Wow.

A horse walked into a bar and the barman said 'Why the long face?'

Love that one.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cos it was stuck to the chickens foot.

what goes "clip"?
a one legged horse

whats blue and spongy?
a blue sponge

what brown and sticky?
a stick

what do you call a bear with no paw?
rupert the bastard

What's green and sings. ?
Elvis Parsley....


Why did the mushroom go to the party ?
'cause he was a fun guy !

Originally posted by T.M
What's green and sings. ?
Elvis Parsley....


Why did the mushroom go to the party ?
'cause he was a fun guy !

lame...but funny

Originally posted by Roulette
lame...but funny



very lame infact.. but they make me laugh.

Three nuns pass away. When they get to the pearly gates they get asked a question each before they can enter.
The first nun is asked what was the first man and womans name?
She answers 'Adam and Eve' the gates open and she enters.
The second nun is asked where did they live.
She answers 'The garden of Eden' the gates then open and she enters.
The third nun is asked a harder question because she is a mother superior.
What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?
The mother surperior thinks and says 'oh thats a hard one'
the gates then open for her to enter.

Originally posted by Libertine
Three nuns pass away. When they get to the pearly gates they get asked a question each before they can enter.
The first nun is asked what was the first man and womans name?
She answers 'Adam and Eve' the gates open and she enters.
The second nun is asked where did they live.
She answers 'The garden of Eden' the gates then open and she enters.
The third nun is asked a harder question because she is a mother superior.
What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?
The mother surperior thinks and says 'oh thats a hard one'
the gates then open for her to enter.

that one is so old but still its so funny

I know

A woman in the bath heres a knock at the door.
"Who is it"
"Its the blind man" The person answers.
"Oh, well c'mon on in then"
When he walks in he says. "Oh nice t*ts where do you want the blinds?"

Originally posted by Libertine
I know

A woman in the bath heres a knock at the door.
"Who is it"
"Its the blind man" The person answers.
"Oh, well c'mon on in then"
When he walks in he says. "Oh nice t*ts where do you want the blinds?"



I love that joke

hee hee

lame sig i made for a sig duel
http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/39/random6hl.gif

Aparently this was voted the funniest joke in the world:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

That was good.

A sexually transmitted disease walks into the middle of the road. Suddenly a bus heads straight for it. It shouts "Oh god im a gonna 'ere.!"

Originally posted by Libertine
That was good.

A sexually transmitted disease walks into the middle of the road. Suddenly a bus heads straight for it. It shouts "Oh god im a gonna 'ere.!"



Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."
Doctor: "I've got some cream for that!"

2 cows are standing in a field, one says to the other "What do you think of all this mad cow disease stuff?" To which the cow replies "Doesn't affect me, I'm a squirrel".

TOP JOKE IN USA. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

A woman reading about Cleopatra gets envias of the milk baths that she was very partial to and decides to do it aswell. She leaves anote for Mr Milk man to leave her 100 extra bottle of milk. The next morning te milkman pulls up in his little float and wanders over to the lady's door discovering the note. '100 bottles? Surely she means only 10.' He knocks on her door, to which she anwers. 'Hello there madam, er do you really want 100 bottlesof milk i think you mean 10.'
'NO i want 100.' She replies. She then explains her plans to have a milk bath, to the suprise of the dairy shifter.
'Oh ok' he replies 'Pasterised?'
'No just up to me t*ts, please' She replies.

TOP JOKE IN WALES. A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

A general is placed in charge of a camp in Iraq, with some British soldiers. An officer shows him around camp, in the mess tent, his own quarters and finally a camel.
'Whats with the camel' the general asks.
'Well sir, the men are so far away from their wives and girlfriends and any other woman and well, er you know' the officer replies awkwardly.
'I see' Says the general. 'I odnt condone this sort of behaviour but im not one to judge.
After being there for six months the generals urges get the better of him and he orders the officer to bring him the camel, which he does. The genral climbs some ladders behind the camel and has wild, uncontrollabe sex with it. When he is finished he climbs down from the ladders and looks at the officer.
'Is that how the other men do it?'
'Not really' replies the officer. 'The men usually just ride the camel into town where all the girls are.'

Originally posted by Libertine


A general is placed in charge of a camp in Iraq, with some British soldiers. An officer shows him around camp, in the mess tent, his own quarters and finally a camel.
'Whats with the camel' the general asks.
'Well sir, the men are so far away from their wives and girlfriends and any other woman and well, er you know' the officer replies awkwardly.
'I see' Says the general. 'I odnt condone this sort of behaviour but im not one to judge.
After being there for six months the generals urges get the better of him and he orders the officer to bring him the camel, which he does. The genral climbs some ladders behind the camel and has wild, uncontrollabe sex with it. When he is finished he climbs down from the ladders and looks at the officer.
'Is that how the other men do it?'
'Not really' replies the officer. 'The men usually just ride the camel into town where all the girls are.'

yeah that one wasn't funny..

that one you posted though is awesome

TOP JOKE IN GERMANY. A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."

I like it.

Why did the chicken cross the playgorund?

To get to the other slide.

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."

"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"

"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''

''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Billy.
Billy who?
Billy Connolly.

Why did the ocean blush?

because the sea weed

good old penguins

What did the traffic lights say to the car?

Don't look at me while I'm changing.

I say, wasnt that good

a girl is in a christian school and the teacher asks her a question "who created the world" then a little boy pokes her in the back of the neck with his pencil and she says "GOD!" then she asks her who is our lord and savior and the little boy pokes her in the back of the neck again and she says "JESUS CHRIST!" then the teacher asks her what did eve say to adam after they had there first child and the boy pokes her again and she yells "IF YOU POKE WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME ILL SNAP IT IN HALF!!"

A man walked into a bar. He said "Ouch."

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

20, one to changee it, while the onther 19 say 'its good but i could of done it better.'

Originally posted by willman
A dustbin man comes to a house that doesnt have a dustbin out so he knocks on the door, a little chinese man answers.
"mate wheres your dustbin?"
he says: "ive dustbin on the toilet"
"no, mate WHERE IS YOUR DUSTBIN?"
He answers: "i really have just bin on the toilet?"
Annoyed"dude where is your WHEELY bin?"
chinese man- "hokay i tell u, i wheely bin having a wank!"

^BEST JOKE IN THE WORLD^

I heard this one somewhere.
Note: Some may find it sick

A blonde wife goes to the doctor.
Doctor says "You take these capsules and insert one every day for a week in your anus."

When she finishes, her husband asks: "Yo, What did he say?"

- "I don't know, he said something about Uranus."
- "You dumb *****, go back there and ask him again."

She goes back to the doctor. When she returns, she tells her husband: "He told me the capsules are from Uranus and I should invert each one of them every week."
The husband tells her talk to the doctor again.

- "Doc, what did you say I should do with these capsules?"
- The doctor gets slightly annoyed and says: "Just shove them up your ass."

When she meets her husband, she says: "Look, now we've upset the doctor."

Whatever..

Originally posted by s|m
"You dumb *****"

how do you know when its been raining cats and dogs....??


you go outside, and step in a poodle.....

Whats white and wears yellow and black check trousers....??

Rupert the Fridge....

How do you know when you've passed an elephant....??


You can't get the toilet seat down....

Two hydrogen atoms are floating down the street. The first one says, "Damn! I just lost an electron!"
Second says, "Are you sure?"
First: "I'm positive!"