Originally posted by biggesthpfan
thax for you comments and i will try to work harder i just had this lying aroung my computer and decided to post it
also as you would notice i'm trying to soud like j.k.rowling,i'm studing her wrtiting techniques, so my version would be more realistict to you, and about the qoutations.................the book would be fairly boring if i kept saying: she said and he said and she said.........get my drift
and you all ways don't need to label the qoute to know who's it from like in this cutout of a book named Eragon.(I would of shown a harry potter clipping but i cant find that book).
The next day while riding Eragon asked Brom,
"what is the sea like,"
"you must have heard it described before,"said Brom
"yes,but what is it really like?"
as my piont is proven it would be rather bland if i saying :she said and he said and she said,as i pionted out in the last sentence qoutations don't always have to be labled because you should natrally know that it's someone else turn to speak and since thers only two people u should know whos turn it is to speak
sorry for the english lesson i just need to defened myself to The Phantom
sincerly,
biggesthpfan
Um....he kinda ment there is only dialouge, no actions.
I'm sure Phantom can interpret who's speaking, butnot only are your coice of words for the charactoes bad, but there's too muh of it. JKR goes into description of the least important things, you need to do that.
Blessing, and kicking your story's ass,
JesuseyGoodness