Bruce Campbell versus Spawn

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grey fox
I think that it's well established through comics and through this fights page that Spawn is a jerk. He travels all the way from Hell to pick on Bruce Campbell because he's a jerk. Bruce naturally fights back with his laser hand and a mean left hook, but Spawn is pretty close to invulnerable, and can heal even holes blasted in his body. He starts smacking Bruce around and things certainly start looking grim for our hero. Eventually, he hits Bruce right throw the window of an adult magazine store. Bruce is down and almost out, and Spawn is moving in for the kill when he is conveniently distracted by a rack of magazines advertising bondage fantasies on their covers.

Of course Spawn is into BDSM. Not only does it make sense (just look at his costume), but by simply writing the words bondage and porn, I am generating about 20,000,000 hits to this site through search engines. PORN PORN PORN!!!

Anyway...

Bruce recovers while Spawn is distracted. He then goes down the street to a black market arms dealer, buys about 100 pounds of plastique, and returns to the magazine shop, where he quietly starts placing the explosive all around Spawn while the hell-demon is muttering things about bad girls tying up ponies or whatever is in magazines like that. He then detonates the explosives, eliminating the shop and also blowing Spawn into several pieces. Using liberal blasts of his laser cannon, he eliminates the remaining pieces. Sure, Spawn is probably not really dead, but he'll think twice before going after Bruce Campbell again. Round Forty goes to Bruce Campbell.


(Not written by me)

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