Did the KLF create PETE DOHERTY?

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

"In a surprise press conference today, the men behind Doherty's career
reveled themselves - and admitted that the Libertines, Babyshambles, the
tales of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel
Kate Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British
The men behind the scandal - Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who were
themselves infamous popstars under the name The KLF - admitted how they
plucked a young Buddy Holly impersonator Doherty from obscurity and made
him a media darling. "It was a meant to be a quick stunt to show the
frailties of our celbrity-obsessed culture," said Cauty, adding, "there
are too many people who are famous despite their lack of talent,
usefulness and basic intelligence. We wanted to do something that held a
mirror up to that." Mr Drummond called Britain's pop-culture "sick" and
said that although he regretted the hurt caused to Doherty's many fans,
he hoped "this incident taught us all some important things".
In a prepared statement, the two men - famous for many other pop pranks,
including the famous burning of GBP1million on a remote Scottish island
- detailed how they manipulated the British Press into making Doherty an
icon. Doherty - whose real name has now been revealed to be Trevor
McDermott - was making a living as a part-time Buddy Holly impersonator
in the Cornwall holiday circuit. He began a short-lived affair with the
singer of a well known 80's rock band, and was introduced to Drummond
and Cauty at a backstage party in London's West End. The men described
how a drunken McDermott amused them with his slurred singing and
frenetic dance movements, and how they then realised that this would be
the perfect "dupe" for a plan they had been hatching for some time.
"The plan involved proving three theories we have about current British
society," reads the statement. "The first is that in the so-called
"alternative" scene, everybody is too scared of missing The Next Big
Thing to worry about anything else." To prove this, some session
musicians were provided to compose the rest of the "band", The
Libertines, and rumours of exposive gigs were leaked to the media. "The
gigs in question never actually took place, but we didn't have to worry
about that. Soon the buzz around The Libertines was so frenetic,
journalists were falling over themselves to claim to have been at the
front of every single fictional gig." Within weeks, The Libertines were
appearing on magazines and receiving record offers. Gigs sold out in
minutes, while their first album "Up The Bracket" flew off shelves.
Feeling that their first point had been proved, Drummond and Cauty moved
to their second theory: "We feel that our culture has become an enormous
soap opera. We don't care what a person thinks, or creates, or
contributes. We just care about what they do in their normal lives.
Especially when it's something they shouldn't be doing."
To demonstrate this, the men co-ordinated a number of scandals. First
was a robbery staged in the house of one of the band members. When this
took place, McDermott (aka Doherty) was unknown outside of the
alternative music scene. An incident of this calibre was sufficient,
however, to catapult McDermott onto the front page of every major
national tabloid. "One day we has just another singer, the next day he
was 'Disgraced Celebrity Rocker', and he hasn't been out of the papers
since". Further revelations about drug abuse and violence kept McDermott
and The Libertines on the front pages for months.
One thing that took even Drummond and Cauty by surprise was the affair
with model Kate Moss. "That was not something that we planned or had any
involvement. Whether she knew about the hoax is something we are not
party to. We have never had any contact with Miss Moss." However, this
was the boost their project needed - where the drugs and crime had made
McDermott a media sensation, the relationship with one of fashion's most
famous women catapulted him into the world of true celebrity. "While we
had not planned this, it certainly proved our point. There are many
superior artists in the country today, but they never appear in Heat or
The Sun, because they don't have the words 'boyfriend of Kate Moss'
after their name."
Despite this boost, the project began running into a major setback for
Drummond and Cauty. Just as they were preparing to enter the final phase
of their scheme, Doherty decided that he wanted to part company with
them, the fake band, and begin seriously recording music. He stopped all
contact with the men, and threatened legal actions if any details were
leaked to the press. "We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand
project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our
third theorem - that 'If enough people say that a piece of s*** is a bar
of gold, we'll believe it's a bar of gold' - seemed to have been beyond
salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first
Babyshambles album." In the time since then, Drummond and Cauty have
been locked in a vicious legal battle, which was eventually settled out
of court by the discovery of a videotape showing McDermott singing
"Peggy Sue" at a Butlin's in Devon. Publicly, McDermott still strongly
denies all charges. How this affects the future career of Pete Doherty
remains to be seen."

Alpha Centauri
Will someone just jail the man already? It's a positive move.

No more shit music, no more pointless news.


Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
Will someone just jail the man already? It's a positive move.

No more shit music, no more pointless news.


except of course that jailing him would just cause more pointless news...

and everything that happened to him inside would make more pointless news...and his release would make more pointless news...and his selling the story after...well you get the idea

buddy holly impersonator...that leaves one thing left to be done...KABOOOOMMMM


lets get that [email protected] on a plane

Victor Von Doom
Where is this from?

Pretty sure it's fake, although I would seriously love if something like that were true.

It would factually vindicate so many points I have made continually about the NME, 'alternative' music, trends, bandwagons, and the shitness of The Libertines; primarily the pathetic waste of Earth space that is Doherty.

probably fake, sadly.

Victor Von Doom
Yeah. Although all my points apply nonetheless.

fingers still crossed for it being true... and everything theyre said in it about the 'scene' is very very true.

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.